Happy April Fools! I wanted to do one, but meh, fake update is old school. Anyway, had nothing better to do, so here's an update after, let's see... -counts- 27 months! Talk about bringing the dead back to life.

I have nothing much to say. Hmm...

So, here you go. It's time for the ladies! Review? Tell me if I've lost my touch!

SERIOUS REMINDER: This story is rated 'T' for a reason. Language and, uh... minor euphemisms...


Bleepity Bleep! No means No!


"No."

"Annabeth, just listen to me. Please."

"No."

"That's what Percy said when you forced yourself on him."

Annabeth was unfazed. "No."

Rachel sighed. "Fine. You leave me no choice." She held a megaphone she seemingly got out of nowhere and lifted it to her mouth. "Thalia! Thalia! THALIA!"

Thalia winced as the megaphone was blasted into her ear, momentarily deafening her. "I'm right here. Jeez..."

"Sorry." Rachel smiled sheepishly. "Anyway, Annabeth still won't say yes! Talk to her!"

"Annabeth, look. I'm with Rachel on this one. I've sworn eternal maidenhood, okay? This is one of the few times that I could actually enjoy my immortal single life."

"With strippers? That's how you want to enjoy your single life?" Annabeth crossed her arms over her chest, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. "And aren't you supposed to turn your back on the company of men?"

"That's sex and love!" Thalia tossed her hands in the air. "That doesn't mean we can't look or touch them and their certain male body parts. Or, you know... watch them do something sexy with aforementioned certain male body parts." Rachel slowly stepped away from the hunter as she seemingly drooled at her own statements.

Annabeth paused for a moment and shuddered at the image her excessively visual brain conjured. "No. And give me that! You're not even legal to drink!"

"Technically, I am. On paper, I'm twenty-seven. If I didn't become a hunter, I would be twenty-four. I'm a full-legal adult embodied in a fifteen-year old."

"Sadly, with the mind of a thirteen-year old's, who only started undergoing puberty." Thalia narrowed her eyes dangerously while Rachel opened her mouth to say something, but Annabeth cut her to it. "And still no."

Rachel groaned. "C'mon, Annabeth! You know how insane it is to still have your v-card at this age! You literally drove Percy to a corner just to lose yours!" Annabeth mentally facepalm-ed. Why did she ever tell that small detail of their sex life to Rachel? "Think about us! We're going to be virgins for the rest of our lives!"

"For eternity." Thalia added with a nod.

"No."

"Ugh. This calls for drastic measures." Rachel put her megaphone to her lips. "Ladies! Annabeth still says no!"

Collective groans could be heard coming from the rest of the party's guests.

"That's what I came here for!"

"Me, too!"

"Yeah! It'd be nice to get a lap dance from someone other than Travis for a change!"

The room suddenly went silent, and all eyes turned to Katie.

"Great... Now I have an image of a half-naked Travis giving Katie a lap dance. I need to get drunk to forget about this." Annabeth quickly downed the glass of tequila she confiscated from Thalia. Rachel shot the olde-, er, younger-looking virgin. Thalia nodded.

She cleared her throat and spoke beguilingly. "So, Annabeth. Has Percy ever given you a lap dance?"

"That hunk of a seaweed? Psh! No!" Annabeth giggled slightly, completely intoxicated from just one glass. Rachel and Thalia looked at each other and grinned. Success!

"Haven't you ever wondered how it would feel getting a lap dance?" Rachel inquired.

Annabeth scrunched her nose. "Actually... No. I don't need one. Percy knows what he's doing when it comes to that, if you know what I mean." She giggled. Thalia groaned while Rachel's ears perked up in interest.

"Oh, gods. I don't need to hear details about your sex life." Thalia crossed her arms. "Let me get straight to the point. Do you want strippers or not?"

Annabeth thought for a moment and smiled. "Oh, what the hell! Why not! Yes!"

Rachel quickly raised her megaphone and screamed. "She said yes!"

Collective cheers roared throughout the living room of the soon-to-be-married couple's house.

Thalia drew close to Rachel and whispered to her ear. "You know, they're a lot more excited now than the time Percy screamed the same thing."

"Well, what can I say. Annabeth saying yes to Percy's proposal isn't much of a thing to celebrate."

-a block away from the house-

Percy sneezed. Was someone talking about him? He shook his head and drove around the corner. Then he suddenly stepped on the breaks. "Oh, bleep. She's home. Her car's in the driveway."

"Who? Oh, look. Our car's here. So this is where Katie went. I wonder what's up." That was Travis.

"And isn't that Rachel's?" That was Grover.

"And that's Drew's!" That was Nico.

Percy carefully turned to Nico, a maniacal smile on his otherwise calm face. "Who's Drew?"

"Err..." Nico gulped. "The... er..."

"What's that?"

"The... err... ripp... er? The reaper! Yes!"

"Nic..."

"Err... sss... ttt... rip... per... St. Reaper?"

"St... Reaper... Oh, you mean 'stripper', right?" That was Malcolm with his big smartbleep brain.

"Yes! I mean, no! No! Noo!"

-not a second sooner-

"You bleepity bleeping bleep bleep!" That was- Who else? Percy.

"Gah, gah-"

"Cut, cut, cut! I need more tape!" That was their dear cameraman. Who? Find out next time on 'Bleep!'.