December 6, 2010

Jacob

The second reason I'm here is to'' experience'' on the hybrid race. You know what? Hybrid heal as fast as you, when we get torture.

I can not sleep at night. I do not hunt anymore. Let's see how long will I stay alive!

I'm tired of the routine here. I did not expect to stay here as long to say that.

Every day I get up, I go to my classes of'' how to become the perfect little Volturi killer and blood thirsty'', then go to my singing lessons, where Alec continues to flirt with me through songs. It gets really annoying, after three fucking months. Then I went to the lab for experiments.

My mother taught me this trick, If you repeat something over and over again, it loses it's meaning. Our lives, she said, are the same way. You Too Often watch the sunset, and it just Becomes 6pm. You make the same mistake over and over, you'll stop calling it a mistake. If you just wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up one day you'll forget why.

Guess what, Jake? I forgot why. And I hate the Volturi for that.

But I hate you more.

When I go to the market to buy some clothes and food (Because of puberty , im growing faster than usual), I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children. I look at them like they're crazy, cause ''sacrifice'' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.

I guess, Mom, Dad, you have so much more important thing to do then pick up your daughter that was CAPTURED by your WORST ENNEMIES since THREE MONTHS !

Renesmee

6 Janvier 2011

Dear Diary,

And still I dream They Come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

I sang this song at the ceremony given by the Volturi, to celebrate the new year. The majority of people present were crying. I would like crying because I knew they would be my meal. I drink the blood of humans, as the Volturi do not offer me that wolves for my vegetarian diet. How could I kill wolves?

I miss my family. I miss the smell of Jake. I miss the lunch that was preparing me Esme each morning.I miss my favorite sweater, my room, of how my window overlooking the sunset.

I'm tired of missing things.

There is a quote in one of my book, which says: Sometimes not being willing to accept that someone is gone maybe it's because there not.

WRONG! Completely wrong!

I have to stop deluding myself. My family will not come for me.

They will not because they don't care about you. Nobody are so much better without you. You're useless, Renesmee.

Im just another nothing.

Nessie

February 6 , 2011

Dear Diary,

I don't t feel anything. Yesterday I convinced Alec and Jane to miss the monthly meeting of the Volturi (the most boring story after hearing the same thing twice). We '' borrow'' the very luxurious and assuredly useless car of Aro, and even rolling at full speed, I felt no adrenaline. Alec made me think of Jacob, talking incessantly about the qualities of our vehicle (Rip little sweet car). Everything reminds me of Jacob, actually. We let the police believe they had some kind of autority on us by let them stopped us. My friends drank the blood of the two agents.

Believing is so a deadly thing.

To finish the evening ,we crashed into a bridge. Or Was it a viaduct? I was stunned, I lost an arm (By the way, it's really strange to look at his arm push) but but I didn't feel any pain

I don't feel anything anymore.

We have not been punished for destroying the car and have skip the meeting. But since that day, everyone calls me Troublemaker. I guess I deserve it.

With my power, I can use it to Jane. Since then, she respects me because I am the only person in the castle able to make her suffer! Jane Volturi is afraid of me, Renesmee! I we could become friends.

Renesmee xx