A/N: Well I got a few reviews that didn't like the direction of an alternate pairing, well I guess I was expecting it which is why I put many references in my AN attempting to scare of anyone that just wanted a Chuck and Sarah Fic.
I mentioned in the Previous An that this will not be a happy story for Sarah, and while I still stand behind that, maybe it was misunderstood. This Fic will not be a take pot shots at Sarah Fic I imagine that many people will feel for Sarah in this Fic. And just because I have said that does not mean its an easy ride for Chuck in fact far from it.
I guess it's the Journey that's important for both Chuck and Sarah with this story and not the destination. My objective with the AN was that I wanted to point out if you were reading the story just for a happy ending for Sarah then don't read.
Some people like to believe that the events of Season 3 didn't happen, well that is one way of dealing with it, I have preferred to write this story. I don't see it as simply to right a wrong that the writers or Fedak has made but to show another possible direction the story could have taken.
This begins our introduction to the NCIS component of this story, I know NCIS LA purists will be upset I am ignoring the Kensi/Deeks dynamic and I apologise for that. but I don't think they will ever get together anyway. At least based on the latest episode I have watched at the time of writing this AN.
I will give you a quick run down of NCIS LA, you don't need to be a fan of the show or even watch it, but at least familiarity would allow you to know what each of the characters look like. But I will give you a quick run down on each of them anyway.
NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service, Investigate crimes within the Navy or involving the Navy.
Detective Marty Deeks: Male long blonde hair and occasionally unshaven, he is a LAPD undercover Detective working as the LAPD Liason. In the show this character is played by Eric Christian Olsen.
Agent Kensi Blye: Female tall, long brunette hair, NCIS Agent who is Marty Deeks partner in the field. She has a birthmark in her right eye. In the show this character is played by Daniela Ruah.
Agent 'G' Callen: Male, brown hair very short/shaven hair style. NCIS Supervisory Agent , no one knows what the 'G' stands for not even 'G'. One Time CIA Agent, in the show this character is played by Chris O'Donnell.
Agent Sam Hanna: Male, muscular & bald, NCIS Field Agent and 'G''s partner in the field have been for about 5 years, ex Navy Seal. In the show he is played by LL Cool J.
Hetty Lange: 4 foot 9 inch age 67 female Operations Manager in charge of the LA Field Office. In the show played by Linda Hunt.
Eric Beale: Male blonde hair glasses; Tech Analyst IT Support for the team. In the show is played by Barrett Foa
Nell Jones: Female short red hair; Tech Analyst IT Support for the team. In the show is played by Renee Felice Smith.
Chapter 2
The NCIS gang all gather in the operation centre, there are all screens and other technology used for conferences and briefings and supporting operations in the field, Hetty the boss, G, Sam, Deeks, Kensi, Eric and his partner in crime Nell are all in attendance.
"Detective Deeks you have been requested for a LAPD operation and unfortunately I was unable to stop it, you will need to head off immediately" said Hetty.
"For how long?" asks a depressed Deeks quickly looking in Kensi's direction.
"Not sure detective, but I would imagine it could be anything for up to a month" replies Hetty
"Kensi, don't miss me now?" says Deeks.
"I am sure your smell will hang around for at least two weeks unfortunately," said Kensi smiling.
"So is my access going to be removed from the Operations Centre?" asked Deeks
"Why would we do that Detective, you will be back and carry on from you current position, oh and I would appreciate you not tell the LAPD anything about our previous or current operations Detective Deeks" said Hetty.
"Of course Hetty, look who you are talking to?" asked Deeks laughing.
"That's why I am telling you Detective," responded Hetty.
After Deeks had left the room the briefing continued.
"Ok everyone, we have a new mission it relates to a Top Secret Naval Project and it appears that there maybe a leak from the project team or someone close to the project team. But due to the nature of the project it has become our priority. This comes direct from SecNav," said Hetty.
"Oh with Deeks gone what will I do about a partner, or will I need to go in the field solo?" Asked Kensi nervously.
"No, that shouldn't be necessary as we will be getting assistance from the CIA, a meeting and joint briefing will occur at the boatshed so get moving," said Hetty as she left
'So what CIA Super Agents are we going to get shackled with,' wondered Kensi.
"So Kensi is going to get herself a James Bond type," said Sam.
"Shutup Sam, probably just someone who thinks he is god's gift to women" said Kensi.
"Oh you mean like Deeks?" asked Callen
Kensi just gave them a smile and shook her head.
-#############-
Kensi enters the main areas of the Boatshed and it looks like everyone is there along with three new faces, one female blonde late 20's and a two males both with dark hair and tall, one appears to more physically defined. Kensi went up to them.
"Hi, Agent Kensi Blye," she says.
"Agent Sarah Walker," the blonde responded taking her hand.
She went to the first male
"Special Agent Daniel Shaw," he responded accentuating the first word.
"Hi", Kensi responded.
'Well well Special is he?' she thought.
She finally approached the last male that seemed like he was trying to maintain some space from the other agents. She extended her hand, he reached out with his and gave her a smile that made her feel self-conscious of how she looked.
"Chuck," he said.
"Kensi," she responded.
'Chuck, hmmm is he an agent or an analyst or is he just here for the coffee' thought Kensi.
The Video Screen came on and Hetty's face appeared, but next to her a red haired woman in her 50's that appeared to be in uniform.
"For those who do not know who I am I am Hetty Lange, Operations Manager for this NCIS office " said Hetty.
"And I am General Beckman from the Office of the DNI," said the other woman.
'Oh a General interesting,' thought Kensi
Kensi had a look around at the CIA people, Chuck looked like he had completely changed, he now had a professional attitude where previously it was almost disinterested and not wanting to be here.
She then looked at the 'Special Agent Shaw' and noticed an almost angry and pained look across his face.
Agent Walker was simply professional.
"Still having trouble Agent Shaw I see?" the General asked.
"No Ma'am everything is fine," he responded.
"Well see to keeping it that way then," Beckman added.
Kensi could swear she could see the trace of a smile on both Chuck and Agent Walkers face.
"So I assume you have all introduced yourselves" Beckman asked.
"Yes General, Special Agent Daniel Shaw made certain of that" said Chuck with emphasis on the Special.
The General had the trace of a smile too.
"Well Agent Bartowski I am sure you are more than capable yourself," said Beckman
"Yes Ma'am," answered Chuck with a smile.
'Well I guess that answers that question,' thought Kensi.
Kensi was busy watching the dynamic in the CIA team, Agent Walker seemed like she was constantly trying to get Chucks attention, while Chuck was doing his best to simply ignore Agent Walker. Shaw kept on giving looks and smiles in Kensi's direction and she would swear he was trying to flirt with her.
One thing was clear the team looks mostly dysfunctional and Chuck was probably the only relatively normal one amongst them. But as they are a bunch of agency spooks its not unusual 'look at Callen he is weird,' thought Kensi.
Shaw always seems to have a dopey expression like a child watching fireworks.
Kensi keeps thinking about Chucks eyes, they were so sad but also kind, but now they just look driven.
Kensi notices Shaw smiling in her direction, which makes her skin crawl but also notices Walker who seems annoyed by the attention he was giving her.
'hmmm, I think maybe Walker and Shaw are an item,' she thought.
"The information we have on the naval project is limited because of its classification, but we do know the project code name is 'Cressidus'," said Hetty.
"General?" asked Chuck.
Kensi was confused as it seemed like he was asking permission for something.
"Go ahead Agent Bartowski," responded Beckman.
"'Cressidus', is a top level project that is involved in technology for developing advanced stealth vessels, that is beyond conventional stealth technologies," responded Chuck.
The eyes of all the NCIS personel widened including Hetty.
"How is it you know so much about the project?" asked Hetty.
"Agent Bartowski has the highest security clearance of anyone in this meeting, including you or I Hetty," explained Beckman.
"What do you mean by 'Conventional' Technologies?" asked Callen.
"Well conventional stealth technology works by reducing either the Radar or Sonar footprint of the vessel, Cressidus is investigating eliminating the footprint entirely from all wave based phenomena," responded Chuck.
Everyone heard someone say "Philadelphia Experiment."
It was the General that first responded.
"Who said that?" asked the General.
"I am sorry General it is Eric Beale, Tech Analyst with NCIS," came the response.
"I would prefer to not get into a discussion about the conspiracy theories that surround the USS Eldridge in July 1943. However it is hard to deny the parallels," responded Chuck.
'Chuck seems to know what he is talking about, I think more investigation of Chuck is in order' thought Kensi.
-#############-
After the meeting Sarah and Shaw were still in the room after everyone else had left.
"What do you think you are doing?" Asked Sarah.
"What are you talking about Sam?" Responded Shaw
"You know exactly what I am talking about, you were unashamedly flirting with that Agent Blye," responded Sarah.
"Sam, well if I was, it wasn't on purpose. Besides it's not like you and Bartowski don't flirt all the time," said Shaw.
"Not anymore," said Sarah sadly.
"Sam, Kensi is a beautiful woman and I guess she reminds me a little of my wife, the wife I lost to the Ring," said Shaw with a far off look in his eyes.
"That is really nice Daniel, by the way stop calling me Sam," responded Sarah angrily.
"Sam don't be like that, what we have is a good thing," responded Shaw.
"Really, well what is it we have?" Asked Sarah.
Shaw just stood their silently, and after several seconds of no response.
"Yeah don't think too hard Shaw, you will hurt yourself," added Sarah storming out shaking her head.
-#############-
Sarah was in her hotel room alone, she was lying on her bed staring off into space contemplating what she had gotten herself into.
She was wondering how it all started, where did things start going wrong, three years ago when she met Chuck she was as hard as nails, all about the job. Never once thinking about what could have been if things were different. She had her life and she was happy.
Then Chuck turned that all upside down, she smiled at the memory of how Chuck was when she first met him. She thought about how he was with the ballerina, telling her exactly what she wanted to hear to make her feel special.
He also knew how to do that for her, when Chuck told her she was beautiful it wasn't just a bunch of words strung together he radiated an awe of wonderment. It wasn't just that he was telling her she was beautiful, he was almost acknowledging to the Universe of how beautiful she was. It didn't make her feel all dressed up ready to seduce a mark, it made her feel like a princess.
Where did that honesty that strength of his words go, she could no longer believe what he told her, he had become too good at lying, he was no longer that sweet man that made her feel good.
Then there was Daniel, she was originally attracted to him because he simply wasn't Chuck. Being with him wouldn't remind her about what Chuck had lost, he was already broken and she didn't need to feel responsible.
But even in Chuck's new evolution were he lied, cheated and killed seemingly without batting an eye he is much more of a man then Shaw.
She still couldn't believe how she could be with him, the way she would feel when he attempted to be funny. It just reminded her of how funny Chuck could be.
The fake expressions he sported just reminded her more of the truth behind Chuck's expressions the innocence he showed, before the transformation.
How could she have told Shaw her real name after fighting so hard to keep her real self secret, her heart safe for so many years. Was she that desperate to connect that she even allowed herself to connect with Shaw?
She knew as she watched the parts of Chucks innocence and humanity disappear over the last twelve months that she was more embracing her own humanity. Because of that she felt lost and lonely.
Could Chuck regain that humanity that side of him she desperately wanted no needed?
No it was too late, he had killed the mole, and he couldn't even be honest with her about that. She remembered what it was like after her Red Test, how closed off and dirty she felt, it was the worst day of her life. But Chuck can't even take responsibility for it, it's like he is not there anymore.
Before the change, if he had done it he wouldn't be able to live with himself, but now it's like it didn't happen.
'But what am I going to do?' she thought
She is supposed to be in this relationship with Shaw whatever it is, she had committed to going to DC with him whenever that may happen. Can she live with being with a man like Shaw? She didn't think so. More importantly can she live without that human contact she craves?
What she does know is Chuck has changed, and being around him only reminds her of the Chuck she had lost.
'Shit Sam what a mess you have made of your life,' she thought.
The last thought she had before she drifted off, 'one thing for sure Chuck could still be a funny guy.'
-#############-
Chuck was also lying on his bed staring off into space.
He knew he may have gone over the top today with Shaw, but he didn't really care, If Shaw wants to destroy his career well so be it. I am no longer going to worry about what he or Sarah or Sam or whatever her name is.
She made her choice and made it clear where she stands. If making jokes of Shaw helps him deal with the pain he will continue. He has an image of Shaws head exploding, because of something Chuck said like in a cartoon. It brings a smile to his face.
Chuck then starts thinking that he will not have Shaw around for much longer and and he will not be able to be the target of his jokes, he also needed to come up with a team. He still needed one more person, he had wanted that to be Sarah but that was never going to happen, he now realised. But a female would be a good choice having to attend parties and events would be difficult without a female agent on the team. Maybe he would ask Beckman for a list and files of available female agents.
He had a smile when he thought maybe he could get someone from another Agency maybe Carina from the DEA. Then his face visibly saddened when he realised that would just likely remind him of Sarah anyway. He knew that he could never hate her, and that she would forever have a place in his heart but maybe over time things could get better.
Chuck thought back to his brief relationship with Hanna, he isn't a good guy; maybe he doesn't deserve having someone wonderful like Sarah in his life, a Sarah that seems more in touch with her feelings.
All of these sorts go around and around in Chucks head, trying to make sense of the situation he finds himself in.
What he was certain of was he was a better person then Shaw; he saw signs of a rocky relationship between them. If he can't have her in his life he can at least make sure that she will not get too badly hurt by someone like Shaw, by making her see the douche he is, before it's too late.
AN: Don't worry Deeks will still make appearances throughout the story, but more social and interactions at the Operations Centre rather than in the field.
