A/N: Okay I'm not a lyricist but the lyrics are mine. If it's terrible well I'm not a songwriter. Brooke's not a world renowned fashionista in this. But she is a rock star (lol yes I know it's hard to imagine but this was an original story with original characters so new career move) Lucas is a boxer too. And yes he and Peyton were married but she left him for Julian and she has partial custody of their son.
-x-
Brooke had spent five long months coming up with material and now some jackass producer was telling her it needed work? She worked hard writing those lyrics—her fingers had caught numerous writers-cramps—she had put her all in those lyrics! She knew this was a one in a lifetime chance—I mean how many people can say that a big time producer saw them at a night lounge singing and wanted to take a chance on them?—Not many. Nevertheless, she wasn't going to let just anybody talk down at her, or her music!
Her manager, Jacqueline Marsh, looked at her and instantly knew what she was thinking. She knew Brooke was boiling on the inside and was about to say some choice words to Mr. Grayson. Jackie had been one of her closet—and most treasured—friends these past months—so she knew her well. Therefore, she pulled her aside to talk her into the deal.
"What?" she snapped, more than a little pissed off.
"Brooke, I know you think this is utter bullshit—"
"Damn right it is—"
Jackie gave her a look, "But this man is going to sign you to his label! But only if you tweak the lyrics a bit."
"But it doesn't need tweaking Jackie!" she argued.
"We're professionals here, Brooke. Face it your lyrics may need a little tweaking. There's always room for improvement—you know that!"
"I won't do it—I think that they're perfect the way they are—"
"C'mon Brooke…don't be bullheaded about this. You have to trust me when I say that this is it for you. You have this one shot—this one chance to prove yourself—this one chance to make something of yourself and accomplish something! You have one shot—and this, my dear—is it!" she then crossed her arms and gave her a level look. "Now what are you going to do?"
Brooke sighed and nodded, all the anger evaporated. She licked her lips nervously, looking at the table where the sharp suited Mr. Grayson sat talking on his phone. "Alright, fine—fine! Let's do this."
Jackie smiled that brilliant smile of hers, "Great, now let's go before he changes his mind." They walked to their table and she turned that brilliant smile on him, "Sorry about that—"
"Is this my only chance?" she said as she sat down across from him.
He met her fearless stare levelly. "With me it is."
Brooke nodded, "Alright, I'm in." she then looked at her manager and smiled, "I mean we're in," she corrected, shaking the man's hand in agreement. "I'm looking forward to working with you Mr. Grayson."
He revealed his pearly whites with a smile as he shook her hand, "So am I, Miss Broderick. So am I."
The next week she began recording her songs, belting them out the way she wanted—well almost the way she wanted—and in the end it sounded much better the way they put it and formed it. Brooke loved it. She loved; her new band mates, her managers, loved her new CD in progress, loved her new life period! Now she had something to live for. Only she knew it would never complete her the way her family once did—but it was a start.
-x-
Lucas Scott sighed and continued punching the dummy, smirking as he imagined his once best friend Julian McPherson in the place of it. In his mind he was kicking his ass, making him bleed, bruising him the way Julian had wounded him inside. He focused all his anger on his imaginary opponent, nearly busting the dummy up. He needed to succeed—everything else didn't matter—this was what was truly important—fulfilling his promise to his papa that he would be world champion one day.
No emotional chaos could ever distract him from that goal—it was like tunnel vision—he could not focus on anything else but this. Lucas put all his energy in the attacks, pretending it was Julian—the betrayer—he was pounding on, until he was physically exhausted. He stopped and wiped his face with a towel he hung near the door of the training room. He was heated and achy from exertion—but he would rather feel something than nothing at all.
Although, he momentarily felt bad for Julian's ex-wife—she had no escape from her hell. Julian and their two sons were her world and suddenly they were gone from her. No one should ever go through that loss. Not even Brooke.
The last time he saw her she looked ragged, as if she gave up on life. She was shopping in her housecoat when he saw her last, aimlessly tossing items in the basket. She didn't see him though.
He shook his head to shake the image away, not entirely sure why he thought of her. 'To each his own' was his motto. He then dressed in his street clothes, got his keys from his pocket, and walked the short way to his car. Things had been so crazy lately—the ongoing battle of custody of his son Alex and her bitching about where he took their son—as if visiting and spending time with his grandma was some great danger to him.
Before he could think about it Lucas found himself at Julian's old house—where Brooke now resides. He sucked in a shocked breath, suspicions rising inside his head. Everything looked awful! Her once flourishing garden was brown and taken over by weeds.
That wasn't like her at all! Lucas thought as he looked around. He went to the door and knocked there was no answer. So he turned the doorknob and found that it wasn't locked. Curious, he went inside and saw the living room was trashed along with the rest of the house. He narrowed his eyes as he heard the crunch of shattered glass under his feet. He picked up a picture and saw that it was a family picture of; her, Julian and their sons Jason and Joshua—all smiling at the camera man.
Lucas was beginning to really worry about her. She obviously hadn't lived here in quite some time—according to the foul smell. Or perhaps she had— He shook his head in denial, "No she's too strong to do that! Committing suicide is beneath her—"
Although he wanted to believe that with everything he had—but he couldn't help but consider that as a possibility. Indescribable sadness washed over him at that thought. He didn't know why; because he didn't really like her all that much—not at all actually. Lucas continued walking through the house; flicking on a couple of light switches to discover they weren't on at all. Something was up here.
By the time Lucas went home, he was shaking with fear for Brooke; what he saw was traumatizing to say the least. He didn't want to believe that she killed herself but the evidence was quite clear. As he parked his car in his driveway he saw Julian awaiting him. Lucas really didn't want to see him—seeing that he was the cause that Lucas was now divorced—along with the knowledge he had just discovered.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, slamming his car door at the sight of his ex-best friend. All he wanted was peace instead he gets harassed by his ex-wife and her fiancé.
"Peyton was calling you, then she went over here earlier and you weren't home. It was like you dropped off the map. Where were you?"
"I was visiting your ex." he said walking up to his condo.
Julian did a double take and asked, "Wait—you went to see my ex? Why would you be visiting her?"
"Why? Because somebody ought to have checked on her, that's why!" Lucas snapped irritably.
Julian's facial expression changed; to a sad and lonely expression there now. "Really, so how is she? Is she ok?"
"I don't know. I didn't see her. I think something may have happened to her."
Julian's dark eyes narrowed, "What do you mean? What makes you say that?"
"Why do you care Julian? You're divorced now, meaning she's now the backburner—oh wait she was always the backburner to you—"
"What's wrong with you? She's the mother of my children—"
"Like that mattered to you! You practically ripped her heart out by taking custody of those kids! You knew they were the only ones she had in the world—"
Julian grew angry and indignant, "Tell me why you would say something like that? Why? To make me feel guilty for going with my heart was telling me?"
"You disgust me Julian. Just being in the same space with you makes me want to puke!" he then calmed down and looked him in the eye, "Go ahead and check on her. See for yourself if you don't believe me. But I should warn you—the house is a mess and abandoned, it looks horrible—nothing like how it used to be."
Julian paled when he said those words and nodded, "Fine I'll check it out for myself."
"You do that." he then turned his knob and found that it was unlocked, he could've sworn he locked it when he left this morning, but he went inside and found Peyton sitting on his leather couch; looking entirely too comfortable. "So you're going around breaking and entering people's houses now? What has Julian done to you?"
"Where were you?"
He went straight in the kitchen and poured himself a drink, "None of your concern Peyton."
"You are my son's father—that makes it my concern. I was waiting for you—because I wanted to ask a favor—"
"Fresh out of favors. Sorry."
"Would you please watch Alex? Please, Julian and I have to go down to South beach this weekend to see if we want to spend our honeymoon there—"
"Over-share, Peyton! I don't want to know what you and Julian would be doing down there." then he narrowed his eyes at her when he thought about what he told her last time they talked, "And you know damn well that I have a fight this weekend—"
"Oh please—you could forfeit—"
Lucas rolled his eyes and drunk the stiff drink in one gulp. "I will not do that Peyton. I owe you nothing."
"You owe your son everything!" she said in that condescending voice of hers. Why he ever loved her—he didn't know. "He needs to spend some more time with you anyway."
"Oh, so when it suits you, you want us to spend some father-son time together is that it Peyton? We share custody Peyton… I get him when I can. But this weekend is unacceptable."
"Alex is your son too!"
"Fine, send him to mama's house for the night—"
"You know I don't want that crazy woman near my son—"
His eyes bulged in anger, "She's not crazy! Just because she was right about you doesn't make her crazy! Besides she's his grandma Peyton!" he shook his head, "You know what—I don't have to deal with this— you can take him with you!"
"You know I can't do that!"
"Then send him to my mother's. Or it's a no go."
She frowned then nodded, "Fine. I'll bring him to her house at 8 tonight."
"Wait a fucking minute! You said this weekend!" he shouted when she left him standing there with his fist balling up, his mouth twisted in a scowl. She got him every time!
-x-
A week later…
Brooke looked around the studio a small smile playing on her lips. Every time she was in here her face would light up, this was her place. She sighed and placed the headphones over her ears, her eyes on Jackie and Grayson. They smiled encouragingly as she stepped up to the microphone. Her heart was beating a mile a minute but then she remembered the day that led up to today and had anger and insecurities rising together inside her, making a powerful effect in her voice.
She vocalized, imagining Julian was there, smirking at her, "I trusted you…" Amy sang background,
"(I trusted you…) but you turned on me. I gave you my all… (I gave you my all) but you only met me halfway… I begged you to stay… (I begged you to stay) but you just turned away. What can I do to make you stay? What can I do to make you want me?! I'm wasting away (wasting away) wasting away for you (for you). I heard you say… (I heard you say) when you walked away… you told me it was all over (all over) that we'd never be together! How could you choose her? How could you leave me alone?! I'm wasting away (wasting away) wasting away for you (for you). Now I sit here, thinking of what I could've done to make you feel this way—make you feel this way! I thought we had something indestructible but I guess I was wrong—(so wrong) I'm wasting away! (I'm wasting away) wasting away for you—we had nothing it turns out, now you're going to hear me scream and shout! You're gonna be sorry one day and I'll be the one saying – I'm through wasting away (wasting away) wasting away for you (for you). I'm through wasting away (wasting away) I wasted my time on you (on you). Wasting away (wasting away) I wasted my life on you (on you) Now that I'm through wasting my time on you… I'm gone, I'm gonna move on! (I'm gonna move on from you)…
Grayson smiled and pressed the intercom button, "That was really great but," her heart skipped when he paused for a long length of time, "… you knocked it out of the ball park! You did great kid!"
"Oh my God Grayson, I could've murdered you for that! For a minute I thought you were going to say I was awful or something…"
"How could he? You're voices were magnificent and pure perfection. The song was amazing. You guys are going to be the next big thing."
"Thanks Jackie." Amy said with a smile.
"Hey! How about lunch? I'm starving here!"
Jackie smiled brightly and gathered her purse, "Sure thing."
Jackie had taken her to a gorgeous restaurant that had an incredible view of the ocean front. Although no one else noticed the way the waves lapped over each other or the way the turquoise sky seemed endless against the water. She sighed, it seemed to be a place where people wanted to see or be seen.
"What's with that pensive look on your face?" Jackie asked after ordering her lunch.
Brooke shrugged, not sure where the sudden melancholy came from. "I don't know. I'm just not used to this."
"Well, you're going to have to get used to this lifestyle honey. You're no longer a homely housewife."
"I know, Jackie. It's just hard to get used to."
She looked at Brooke and narrowed her eyes, picking up her faint but gloom mood. "You sound down to me Brooke, what's up?"
Brooke exhaled then admitted, "I'm missing my kids. It happens every now and then. But I know they want nothing to do with me…"
"Perhaps this would cheer you up… I booked the band on Tony Gallo in a couple of weeks and he's agreed to interview you… so you're going to kick start your tour and people are going to hear and see you!"
"Oh…" she said, distracted still wondering about her two boys.
"Hey. It's their loss Brooke. He did you a favor—he did. Now you can pursue your dreams." She said with sympathetic eyes. "You're a wonderful and caring person who deserves everything good—so relish this success. Because trust me they'll be a lot of guys slobbering over you."
Brooke wrinkled her nose at the thought, "That's a nasty visual!"
"You have the photo shoot for the CD cover…" she then hesitated.
Brooke narrowed her eyes at her friend, "What is it Jackie?"
"Well, there is something else you have to do…"
"Just spit it out Jackie."
"Well… you're going to do a sexy photo shoot for Playboy and Maxim… all are scheduled for today. So you don't have the time to be moping around all day! Now cheer up and eat up… because today is going to be the beginning of a busy schedule."
"Wait one damn minute! Did you just say Playboy and Maxim?" She exclaimed, instantly thinking of Colin Mass; the man who had an unnatural crush on her for years, looking at her nude pictures. "I can't do that! Jackie—Perverts would be looking at me!"
Jackie shrugged, unconcerned about Brooke's fear. "You're sexy and beautiful—plus hot on the scene! Why not flaunt it?"
"I can think of a million reasons why not!" Brooke said as she glared at her.
Her friend just smiled and folded her arms, an amused look on her face as she said, "Oh really?"
"Yes!" Brooke exclaimed as she looked around the room.
"Name one Brooke."
Brooke looked at her with confusion, "Name one?"
"Yes. Name one and I will cancel the shoot."
"Uh—"
Jackie's smile grew larger. "Well?"
"Um…" Why all her reasons were suddenly faded away, she wondered. "Um… uh…"
Jackie smiled teasingly, "You can't think of any can you?"
"I don't want to reveal my body because—" she hesitated, unsure of what to say next. It was like her mind went blank.
"…Because?" Jackie prompted, knowing she was bluffing.
Seeing that she was losing the battle, Brooke relented. "Fine…fine! I'll do it. But only because you asked me to—no demanded would be the right term for it!"
"Bull! The real reason is that you couldn't think of any excuses!"
"I could've—"
"Yeah, right. You know you couldn't—so don't you dare bullshit me."
Brooke sighed and took a sip of her mimosa and smiled, "You know me so well."
"That I do." Jackie teased, drinking her mimosa too.
Next thing Brooke knew, she had on sexy pair of underwear—a flimsy black laced bra that was so see through that Brooke may as well went without one. The thong she wore—if you could even call it that—the front of it had a zip up crotch. She looked over herself in the mirror and barely recognized herself. Brooke knew she was transformed into the vixen they wanted her to be because she was actually sexy; her turquoise eyes framed in thick fake lashes, smokey makeup and pale pink lipstick, her jet black hair tousled, her skin glittered to appear as it were wet.
Brooke was nervous but she had lain out like a vixen, her eyes—the same eyes she given Julian when she was in need of the carnal delights—and a cocky yet sexy smirk graced her face while a well placed hand was near her crotch.
The photographer smiled and snapped pictures of her, "Gorgeous." he said, snapping another picture of her. "Now take off your bra."
She grew increasingly nervous but soon got over it, smiling as she positioned herself near the window, cupping her buxom breasts wantonly. "Is this okay?"
He gulped and nodded, looking at her heatedly, "Really nice—lovely actually."
Brooke licked her lips and he captured the hungry motion, looking increasingly uncomfortable. She felt like teasing him, that was when an incredibly raunchy idea sprang forth in her mind. "How do you feel about full nudity and flexibility?"
He coughed and nodded as he stuttered, "I'd love it." When she did the uncomfortable pose he grew hard and said, "It will make it in the centerfold for sure."
Once the Playboy photo shoot was over with, she made her way across town to the next photo shoot at Maxim. It wasn't raunchy this time around but she still wore some flimsy see through contraption—a baby-doll nightie. At the end of the day she went over to the bands photo shoot for the CD cover. Brooke wore a leather cut out and spiked outfit with stilettos. Amy wore a cut up red T-shirt showing her black bra and a short pleated black skirt, fishnet stockings and black leather high heels. They posed together and did the metal sign with their guitars on their shoulders, pretending to play and having a good time. The twins Adam—the bands bassist and Michael Mollohan—the bands drummer—had posed side by side; looking gorgeous and mean in their baggy chained black jeans and screened T-shirt. Then they all had their own shot. By the end of it all, Brooke collapsed on the plush couch at Adam's place.
"You look beat Brookie." Amy said as she sat in the opposite chair.
Brooke closed her eyes and smirked, "That would be an understatement of the year. We laid down more tracks this morning, and then Jackie took me away to lunch, after that we went on to the Playboy shoot—"
"Hold up—did I miss something? You did Playboy? Miss Conservative did Playboy?" Adam teased, but also genuinely shocked.
"Yes, and I also did Maxim."
Michael looked at her and grinned evilly, "I can't wait to see them!"
Amy shot him a censorious look, "I just bet you would."
Adam sat next to Amy and handed her a beer and asked, "When are you going to pose for Playboy?"
"Never, how bout that? I'm just kidding… Playboy's a big deal…maybe someday, but not anytime soon. What about you? Are you going to pose for Playgirl?"
"Hell n—" Adam began but Brooke interrupted.
"Oh that reminds me—um I have some great news."
Mike drank his beer and looked at her levelly. "What is it Brookie?"
She smiled and opened one eye, "Why should I tell you? You guys have been major bitches lately—"
Amy elbowed her playfully and then said, "Just tell us. What is it?"
"Oh," she said with a casual shrug, "only that we'll be performing on the Tony Gallo show in a couple of weeks."
"Tony Gallo? In two weeks? Are you serious?" Adam said narrowing his eyes, unable to believe her statement.
She shook her head, her smile growing, "Yes! We're going to be on national TV in two weeks and I'm so not kidding."
"But Brookie… that's huge!" Michael said a huge smile on his handsome face. "This is incredible!"
"I know, right!" Brooke squealed, and then laughed when Michael picked her up and swung her around, reveling in the joyfulness of the moment. "I know it's huge and amazing, but we're going to have to sound good—better yet excellent by that time. So that means we have to rehearse, rehearse and rehearse you guys! Got that?"
Michael, still holding her, tossed her over his broad shoulder, and then smiled. "Way ahead of ya sis." he said affectionately, carrying her down to the basement, where they practiced. "C'mon Amy, Adam—let's go."
Once in the basement she smiled at Mike and shook her head at him, "I guess there's no sleep for rock stars huh!" she said picking up her glossy red guitar.
"Hey you're the one who said we need to practice more than we have been." he said already behind his drum set. "So let's get it done!"
Brooke smiled and led the song, Amy in background, playing a sweet melody that she had once sung to her sons, while the other followed suit.
"I wake to find myself in pain; it's fucking driving me insane. I just can't get you out of my head again; cooling my blood again. I try to get out of this bed of deceit; but I feel so weak—it's no use. I'm tied down by emotion; can't get myself in motion again! Now I'm screaming to you but you won't hear, I'm screaming at you but it's no use you're already gone!" The song then intensified from there.
