disclaimer: all in the first...
happy thanksgiving!
"Ahhh, I knew you'd come."
"You don't take 'no' for an answer lightly."
"I promise we'll have a good time, Sara."
"Catherine, I'll just have a beer then I'll head home."
"Awww... don't be a spoil sport. You need to relax, Sara."
"Catherine, you know that I'm not the outgoing type."
"And yet here you are."
"You insisted."
"Come on then, we'll take my car."
"Alright..."
"You could've said 'no' to me, Sara."
"Again, I did but you insisted."
"I know. But you could've went straight home and not pass by the locker room."
"You'd wait."
"I would for awhile. Then I'd drive to your apartment and pound your door till you came out and go with me."
"So then I knew it's better that I just go with you now to avoid all that future hooplah."
"Ah, I know you'd see it my way, Sara."
I don't know why but lately Catherine has been friendly towards me. Does she know something I don't? People were suddenly nice to my aunt when they found out she had cancer. So am I dying? Last physical I had I was in tip top shape. So that's not it.
I've been racking my noggin on why. Maybe she has something terminal that she's making amends with this life so she won't feel guilty in the after life. But she sure was mean to Ecklie early in the shift when he said something she didn't agree on. I thought she would smack him on his shiney forehead. Plus with a healthy body like she has, it's impossible for her to be sick. She's a sight of perfection. And I know every male in the lab will agree with me. You could see it in their faces when she walks by.
She's not sick and I'm not sick. So what's up?
Maybe I'm just getting paranoid. But I have reason to. No one becomes friendly all of the sudden, especially towards me. Most especially Catherine. I'm a hard person to get along with. So why is she trying?
Questions, questions, questions...
I look at her as she drives. Her window is half down, the wind blowing on her hair. It's hard to describe how sexy she looks with her hair messed up like that. I wonder how it feels if I push her hair back behind her cute little ears. I wonder how it feels to touch her creamy soft skin. I wonder how it feels if I undress her slowly. I wonder how it feels if I have my hands caressing her naked back pulling her close to me. I wonder how...
Oh god, she caught me staring at her! Okay, it's not the first time though. So breathe. Slow deep breaths. Look ahead, look anywhere but at her. Idiot!
"Sara?"
"Umm, yeah?"
"You were staring at me..."
"I was?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Oh,what?"
"Hmm?"
"I'd like to know why."
"I don't..."
"Sara."
"Yes, Catherine?"
"Why do you stare at me?"
"Do I have to answer that?"
"Yes."
"I ask myself why."
"That's not an answer."
"Okay, I ask myself why would Catherine Willows want to spend time with me?"
"So that's why you stare?"
Because you're drop dead gorgeous. Because even after all these years you take my breath away. Because I have never been attracted to another person, like I am with you. Let alone a woman! And good golly, what a woman you are! Must I mention what you do to me everytime I see you walk my way? How my heart skips a beat? How I get all tingly when I'm close to you? Do I need to mention that I'm terribly miserable at work when it's your day off? Or the many, many times I dial your number but never press call. Or the times I lay awake at night and have make believe conversations with you. You're the last person I think of before I sleep. And yours is the face I see whe I close my eyes. I think of you when I wake up. It's automatic with me. As the years go by these feelings should've faded. Knowing there is not a chance in hell that you'd look my way. But no, the feeling lingers. Strong as it has been since the day I fell slowly for you six years ago.
So there. That's why I love to look your way.
But of course, I can never tell her that. She'd be so surprised that we might hit that on coming dump truck. End up in the hospital with casts and pins sticking out of our limbs. She'd probably smother me or pound me with her cast if she's able to move from her hospital bed, even if she's in traction, she'd find a way. I might be thinking of the too extreme. But hey, it's Catherine Willows we're talking about. There's no guessing what she's capable of doing. And that's another reason why I fell for her. She keeps me guessing. Everything with her is always a wonder, always fresh, unpredictable.
"Yes, that's what I wonder about you, Catherine."
"Thats you answer why you stare."
"Umm, yes. That too."
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Yes, Sara.'Oh'."
"Okay."
"That's it?"
"You want something more?"
"Yes, Sara. There must be other reasons why..."
"So why are you nice to me, Catherine?"
"What?"
"You talk to me more now. You never gave me a second look before. Why the change?"
"I want to be friends with you."
"We are friends, Catherine."
"I'd like to know you more."
"So..."
"Sara, we're the only two females who go out on cases on our shift. It is a nice thought that we'd have each other's back when we're out together."
"You've always had me, Catherine."
"Huh?"
"I mean I've always watched you closely."
"Sar..."
I mean I'll always be there for you."
"Ummm, Sara..."
"I mean I'm yours. Uh, that didn't come out right..."
"Sara?"
"Damn. I mean you always had me to back you up." There you go.
Now she's smiling. Sure, a mumbling, bumbling idiot. That's me. Look at her smile, it's crooked but it's adorably cute. Well, at least I amuse her at my own expense.
Best part is, I made her smile at me. My consolation for being a putz.
this is new for me...so reviews would always be cool.
