My heart is saying,
"Don't let go. Hold on till the end."
And that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
Poison and Wine
That's What They All Say
Sigyn had remained in that chair all the night. Sleeping with her head lolled against the soft, plush cushions. When she awoke, the woman could feel the cold gently nibble at her bare fingertips and she could feel the chill that had nestled itself inside her should have grabbed a blanket, or something, it would have been a wiser move than just to pass out in her chair. Or, even better, she could have fallen asleep in the bed. But she could never of done the latter, it was still awkward to be without him - even though she'd been sleeping alone for almost two years now. How time seemed to fly, now that it was over. But Sigyn knew that her journey wasn't over year, and nor would it be. Not until her Loki was next to her, not until he found herself in his arms.
It probably sounded weak to most people, that Sigyn only wanted to be with the man she loved. To be his wife once again, but it didn't feel easy. Having an easy task, and being weak, were similar, where they not? But Sigyn didn't think this to be an easy journey. Every heartbeat felt like it was someone ripping the heart right out of her chest, every action felt futile and to be a mockery was painful. Sigyn walked with her head down, and she spoke not a word to anyone. Some days, she was even afraid to breathe, in case it offended someone. How far had she fallen now - Sigyn was once respected, well liked, even loved by others. People held her in high regard because she was kind, she was passionate. It was only by marrying Prince Loki, did the whole of Asgard see her. But now, she was just another disgrace. People spoke of her, but no matter how good she was, they had forgotten that.
It made her sad, to see how people focused on the wicked part of someone's soul. But perhaps that was why Sigyn kept her faith in Loki, because she had seen the true potential and light within him. Not a lot of people had, and it was something she held onto quite viciously. Sigyn did it with everyone, she tried to find the good in them when no one else would. People said it made her weak, but she didn't want to agree with them. Was it weak, to cling to a gentle nature, though the world was brutal? Sigyn thought it wasn't, in fact, the severity and harshness of life made her only want to treat the world kinder. She didn't need to, but she wanted to prove to the world that there was more to a person than their love. But perhaps, Sigyn wouldn't do that today. No, today she just wanted to stay inside her chambers, perhaps play her harp, maybe even read something -
The door knocked.
Sigyn's head lifted from the chair, and she herself rose out of it. The knock was sharp, and though it wasn't a violent, angry thing, it did wield the sense of power and authority. Her movements were slow, sleep still holding a loose grip on to her limbs. She was still wearing the dress she wore yesterday - though she hoped no one noticed - and her bruises had hardly faded in the time she spent asleep. Nonetheless, Sigyn opened her door part way, standing up straight to greet whomever had knocked. A shaky hand tucked some hair behind her ear, and the wedding ring she wore flashed in the late morning sunlight. Sigyn's blue eyes focused on the person, and her mouth opened subtly in surprise.
"Theoric" she whispered softly, and the man before her smiled, he seemed genuinely happy to see her; and then the light cast over Sigyn's face, and immediately whatever professionalism he held broke. His strong hands lifted up to cup her face, surprisingly gentle for a man who was so strong. There was power rippling in his muscles, even in a movement so swift as to inspect the damage. Sigyn's own cold fingers lifted to his wrists, and pulled the hands away from her.
"My Lady..." he protested, and Sigyn shook her head twice, dismissing whatever concern he had. It was undoubtedly genuine - Theoric was an old friend, and he was one of her few remaining friends in Asgard. At one point, the man had even been suggested as her suitor. It was safe to say, that Sigyn's father would have much rather she married the Guard than the Trickster.
"I am fine, Theoric. I just fell, is all" she dismissed and smiled lightly, ignoring the subtle pain it caused. If need be, she'd heal it later. But something in Sigyn didn't want to have to hide her battle scars. She didn't want to have to hide anything.
"Then why does the fall look oddly fist shaped, Sigyn?" he asked, softening. He was no longer asking as a concerned guard, and instead as an old friend. But still, if Sigyn hadn't told her husband, then she could not tell Theoric.
"I must have fallen at a funny angle" she responded softly, and shook her head, "Now, Theoric i know this cannot be a social call. What do need of me?" she asked gently, looking back up at him. She watched as he lifted the helmet from his head, letting his blonde pony tail and single, thin, braid fall loose. Sigyn had sometimes remarked that the braid always made him look slightly feminine, but Theoric insisted that it was because a warrior had to be both strong and gentle. It was a fine balance between the two, which made greatness.
"Perceptive as ever, Lady Sigyn" he remarked with a gentle smile, going back to their formalities. Sometimes, Sigyn felt bad about trying to keep him at an arm's length, but it was for the best. Or so she told herself. Loki had never liked Theoric, and she tried so hard not to anger him, whatever the cost. Yet sometimes, she felt herself missing friendship. Of companionship that went further than her handmaidens, who also held her in some kind of disdain, though Sigyn only ever approached them with an open hand of honesty and kindness. "I come to you with an invitation, for the mid day meal. Queen Frigga requests your presence"
"Pardon, but surely this is some kind of joke, Theoric?" Sigyn furrowed her eyebrows lightly. The Queen? Frigga had admittedly, never been cruel to Sigyn even after Loki's imprisonment, but it was still a surprise, to hear that she had requested her presence. Then again, even Odin had made her the Lady of Fidelity after she refused to give up her marriage to Loki, but the King still almost refused to be in her company ever since.
"Not in the slightest, my Lady. Her majesty noticed you were looking a little lonely, and somewhat frail. She told me to inform you, that she regrets the treatment that the court has given you since..." and then Theoric faltered. He never liked Loki much either, and he shared sentiment with the rest of Asgard, and yet his duty of friendship to Sigyn had caused him to wonder how to refer to him. "Since your husband's incarceration" He nodded, at the end of his tiny crisis, and Sigyn looked upon him softly. Her blue eyes were warm and forgiving.
"So you thought to give me the message now, in that i might have a chance to get ready" she nodded, as he did in confirmation of his intentions. "Thank you, it was generous of you to do so" Theoric turned to leave, and she lifted her hand to call him back, "Theoric, one moment more" she asked, and he turned back to her. Sigyn softened, and she spoke now unto him as a friend. "Tell me, do you think her majesty would approve of my fall? Would it not be wise to heal myself first?" she asked, for once, subtle tremors of fear in her tone.
"Sigyn, you may be able to brush the truth off from me, and perhaps your husband, but I doubt the queen would take so kindly as to be suggested as being a fool. Anyone can see where those marks truly came from, and perhaps if you don't wish to tell anyone, then to hide would be wise" he advised and placed one of his large hands back upon her shoulder, holding her gently. "Then again, maybe the Queen would be someone not so... angered, by the truth. She may help you" Theoric smiled, and pulled Sigyn closer to him. He leaned down subtly to kiss her head in their parting.
Within moments, Theoric was gone, and the door shut with a low thud behind him. As he left, Sigyn stood there only in contemplation, the shadows slowly shrinking back to the walls as the sun lifted higher in the magnificent blue sky. Yet Sigyn felt as empty as ever, and her head lifted to look in the mirror. Her blonde curls fell flat against her head, and the dress she wore more hung from her figure than clung to it. Her eyes were blackened with lack of sleep, and the bruise looked so much more potent, as the sun rose through the curtains.
Though, Sigyn could see something else in her face. The weariness, the tired look in her eyes which made her look pitiful. Truth be told, she hated it. The blonde shook her head and turned away from the mirror, muttering scorn to herself. How could she have let herself get this way? It wa lucky that Theoric had come to see her so early, she needed all the time she could get.
Sigyn moved quickly through her chambers, grabbing various hair brushes and jewellery - included that which she kicked off the night before. She knew that Frigga enjoyed her company, because she had always held a soft spot in her heart for Loki. As he did for her. Loki held his mother in very high regard, she was perhaps the only other person Loki truly loved. But that still did not calm her nerves, and Sigyn made her way into the bathing chamber. Steam washed around her, as the taps flowed into the bath, though the midgardians would think of it more to be a swimming pool, or a jacuzzi. Sigyn smiled lightly, and lifted her skirts to dip her toe into the water.
The warmth of the water flew through her, and her smiled widened. Within moments, the water had stopped flowing and Sigyn wandered back to the small bench. She swiftly stripped of yesterday's dress, and let her wedding ring lie on top of the clothes that she had folded up. Sigyn moved to the water, the steam danced over her skin and she lowered herself down into it. Her breath escaped in a quiet sigh, and her head lay back, the water clinging and weighing down her golden curls. Her fingers moved slowly through the water, letting it run over her and patter in the silence of the bathing room. Sigyn spent so much time in silence now, and it was rare that she ever sang now a days either. It was just quiet, except for the swish of water over water.
Sigyn had always enjoyed the weightless feeling that came with being in the water, and so she swam to the side of her bath deftly, moving to pick up one of the many bottles of oils and soaps so that she might clean her hair. Her fingers rubbed it into her scalp, taking time to smother her hair in the oils. Sigyn had always taken time in cleaning herself, in her hair particularly. It was not the most impressive, and it didn't tumble like sunshine from her head, but it was hers and she knew she'd never look half as good without it.
Content with her first set of soaps, Sigyn smiled and moved a little way back from the edge and lowered herself once again into the water, allowing it's warmth to consume her.
Getting dressed, and the journey to Frigga's chamber felt much more like a dream than Sigyn could have thought. The lady had put on a teal dress, mixing her husband's royal greens with her own midnight blue, and felt the stars themselves fall onto her dress. She had always had a love for the night, star-gazing was a hobby of hers even before she knew the names and locations of the nine realms. She was even aware of the way each realm was to begin to line up. Though, Sigyn was never much of a historian, and she knew so little of how this would be more than just a spectacle of the heavens.
But the sky was nothing to think about now, not as her feet stood outside Frigga's door. Sigyn took a deep breath, and smoothed her hands down over her dress. She pushed the golden armband back up her sculpted bicep, and lifted her hands to fix - or worsen - her hair. Nimble fingers twisting curls around the moonstone and gold circlet. Her hair was lighter and cleaner now, and she'd put some colour back into her face. Taking another deep, calming breath, she lifted her hand to knock upon the door. Her head lowered again, as she waited for someone to answer, but Sigyn' heart pounded in her chest. She almost hoped - and let no one ever know that she thought it - that no one would answer the door.
But they did, and Sigyn's blue eyes lifted to the serving girl who had answered. She smiled again softly, opening her mouth to speak, but the young girl quickly ushered her inside. Following her direction, Sigyn hesitantly walked into Frigga's main chamber, where both she and Thor - the mighty prince of Asgard, and Sigyn's brother in-law - sat in waiting. A small meal was set out on the table between them, composed mostly of meats and a few vegetables. A broth bubbled lightly in it's bowl. Sigyn smiled, and dipped her knees into a low curtsey of gratidude and respect. In respect to her, Thor and Frigga rose from their seats and bowed their head to her with gentle smiles.
But as she lifted her head, Sigyn watched their faces fall. A breath of defeat exuded her, and she hung her head. Frigga rushed towards her, tilting Sigyn's chin up to take a closer inspection of her features. Thor remained by the table, but from behind Frigga, she could see the strains of anger in him as his powerful hands closed into a fist.
"My dear," Frigga spoke softly, her eyes alight with the motherly concern. Sigyn could have felt herself melt right there, and tears did in fact threaten to fall from her long lashes, if only she had not been so insistent in blinking them away a they pricked at her eyes. "Sweet Sigyn, who did this to you?"
