Commander Vimes was livid; in his case this might be thought of as normal when in his office, so perhaps 'more livid that usual' would be a better description. He re-read the letter from Lord Vetinari, detailing what he was to do, took a glance out of the window at the shimmering bulk of the Unseen University and then went to talk to the assembled watchmen.

"Atten-SHUN!" Colon barked as Vimes entered the room. A motley crew was lined up before him, nothing new in the multi-ethnic Watch, but he had to know who he had at his immediate disposal.

"All present and correct, captain?" He asked Carrot, who stood beside Colon with his hat under his arm, as usual whenever he and Vimes met.

"Sorry, sir," He answered, "But we only have Sgt. Colon, Sgt. Detritus, Sgt. Angua, Cpl. Nobbs, Cpl. Littlebottom, Constable Shoe, Constable Dorfl..."

"All right!" Vimes interrupted, remembering Carrot's literal-mindedness. He turned to the rank-and-file. "I've received a letter from his lordship detailing us to investigate some peculiar fluctuations around the University. I can't understand why, seeing as peculiar fluctuations should be business-as-usual for the wizards, but orders are orders. Understandably no-one here would be happy about investigating into the affairs of wizards so I shall ask for anyone who has the gusto to volunteer." Several feet moved backwards, Constable Shoe gripping his hips so the rest of him wouldn't be left behind.

"Why don't the wizards deal with it themselves?" Colon remarked. "If they made the bed, they should lie in it." Most of the time they do. He added in the privacy of his own head.

"Like I said, sergeant," Vimes answered, "Orders are orders."

"I will volunteer, sir." Carrot announced, replacing his helmet. That's right. Vimes thought. He would.

"I shall volunteer to aid in this investigation, sir!" Angua said as she stepped forward. Vimes gave her a nod; it figured that she would volunteer just after Carrot. He refrained from saying 'Good girl'.

"Is that everyone?" He substituted.

"No sir." Came a voice as one of the dwarfs stepped forward. "I'm coming, too."

"Okay, corporal. We shall proceed up to the University forthwith." He guided the volunteers into a group and commenced to give his final instructions to the rest of them. "Colon, Detritus, you'll be in charge while we're gone, and I don't want a repeat of last time, sergeant. Just normal policing duties. Oh, and Fred," He added when he noticed no sign of Nobby, "Check the petty cash, would you." With that he led the volunteers out of the Yard.

Upon reaching the University gates they found Archancellor Ridcully waiting for them.

"Ah, your grace." He greeted as the coppers halted. "Lord Vetinari sent a message to expect you. We don't usually allow citizens to get involved in these affairs." Vimes got the message.

"I don't like being here anymore than you do," He answered, "But his lordship insisted. Let's get it over with." With mutual unease Ridcully led them into the grounds.

"Phwoar!" Angua remarked, almost falling backwards. Carrot gave her a glance and, reading her expression, refrained from asking until she was ready.

"What will you tell us?" Vimes asked as they approached the High Energy Magic building.

"Well," Ridcully considered this for a moment, "Some of the apprentices thought it would improve their understanding of the cosmos if they combined their magical refining experiments with the natural energy around the library and, well, I don't really fancy meeting anything without proper defences."

"Like swords, you mean." Vimes guessed. At the entrance to the HEM Ridcully asked them to wait while he entered to 'discuss' matters with the apprentices.

"Sir," Angua murmured, "I've sniffed round this part of the city before and this place usually stinks of magic but not like this, it positively reeks."

"Hmm," Vimes acknowledged this, "I don't know why his lordship doesn't just let these wizards sort it out as usual." Ridcully now returned and invited them to step this way. But just as he closed the door behind them he turned to see a major octarine discharge strike the four watchmen, who promptly vanished.

"STIBBONS!" He roared, resulting in the head of magical research to come dashing forth. "What has just happened?"

"Well, sir," Ponder squirmed, "We calculated that the only way to prevent a rift in the fabric of reality was to invoke an interdimensional discharge; and since there was a chance it would lead into the world of elves..." Ridcully followed his gaze. There was a large iron bar propped up against the wall.

"You decided that directing it at something iron would be safest." He finished the sentence for him. "You were aware of the watchmen coming in."

"Yes sir. So I thought we'd best do it before they came in."

"You were too late!" Ridcully remarked.

"Even so," Ponder responded, "It was directed towards the nearest... spare... iron. OH GODS!"