"Frieza! Frieza, hurry up!" King Piccolo's impatient voice echoed through Frieza's cave.
"Ugh. Doesn't that monster have any manners?" Zarbon growled, not looking up from his magazine.
"Mm." Frieza, Cell and Dodoria all grunted from their various positions in the room. Frieza and Cell were lounging across the sofa, staring at the TV while Dodoria stood at Frieza's side with a large, half-full bottle of wine.
"Why don't Ross and Rachel just get together already? They both obviously want to." Cell growled, frowning at the TV in annoyance.
"They do in the end." Frieza stated.
"Hey!" Cell glared at him. "I never told you to spoil it for me!"
"Really? That's how it sounded." Frieza smirked. "And who in the world doesn't know what happens at the end of Friends?"
"I don't! Or at least I didn't!" Cell snarled.
"Oops." Frieza uttered, looking at him mockingly. Cell raised his arm at Frieza, forming a ki ball in his palm.
"Just keep smiling you little –"
"Frieza!" King Piccolo's voice made Cell's open palm clench into a fist, reabsorbing the ki attack.
"Can one of you answer that old demon!" Cell barked.
"Zarbon, the door." Frieza said.
"Dodoria, get the door." Zarbon ordered, causing Frieza to laugh. Dodoria glared at Zarbon and headed for the door, allowing Frieza to swipe the bottle of wine from his hand before he left.

Moments later King Piccolo stormed into the room with Dodoria racing in after him.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Dodoria roared.
"Shut up." King Piccolo snarled, glaring at him. He looked at Frieza. "Spy-screens."
"Did Dodoria invite you in?" Frieza asked, his eyes glued to the TV screen as Cell flicked through the channels. "Oh – Star Trek! Leave it on."
"No, I didn't!" Dodoria answered. "Want me to take care of him, Lord Frieza?"
"No… Just get him a spy-screen." Frieza instructed. Dodoria nodded and left the room as Frieza smirked in amusement at the TV. "Oh, it's the one with an evil Captain Kirk."
"Oh, I love this episode!" Zarbon purred, approaching the TV. He watched the screen, and shuddered. "Imagine being his right-hand-man…"
"What?" Frieza looked at him. "You worked for me for years, and you're wondering what it's like to work on a ship with an evil commander?"
"Hey. Sorry to interrupt, but I have your payment." King Piccolo said impatiently, holding out a bar of butterscotch flavoured chocolate, as requested. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get this? You'd better give me a screen that lasts longer than twenty minutes! I want an hour!"
"Oh, really? Was it hard to get…?" Frieza said with a wicked smirk. "Well now I almost feel bad… because I want something different this time." He looked at the demon king. "I want you to let Frikiza be your counsellor."
"What!" King Piccolo roared. "Counsellor? Are you insane, Frieza! Do you really think I would be weak enough to join that pathetic rehabilitation program? I'm the Demon King, Piccolo!"
"I thought you'd say that." Frieza replied. "It's too bad – because I'm not going to give you a spy-screen until you do it."

King Piccolo watched Dodoria re-enter the room, and stared hungrily at the spy-screen in the pink alien's arms.
"Why do you even want me to sign up…?" He growled. "After all, if I get moved up to heaven then who's going to provide you and your pretty boyfriends with stupid flavours of chocolate?"
"Tch. Piccolo, do you really think you're my only supplier?" Frieza snorted, finishing his wine. "Believe me, you need this transaction more than I do."

King Piccolo hesitated, staring at the spy-screen for a long moment, before he finally spat at Frieza and turned away.
"You can forget it." He snorted. "Keep your spy-screen, I would rather sacrifice my son than my dignity."
"Oh?" Frieza looked at Piccolo, and smirked. "Well then how about two spy-screens? And they will last for an hour each."
"…" King Piccolo looked at him. Two hours…? He could really see a lot of Junior with that…
"All you have to do is give her one chance. It's easy money, if you ask me." Frieza shrugged.
"… Just one chance, and I can leave her whenever I want?" King Piccolo uttered. Frieza nodded. "… Four screens."
"Two." Frieza answered.
"Three." King Piccolo replied.
"Two." Frieza stared at King Piccolo with a menacing glare, his ki rising and sending a cold, dark shiver down King Piccolo's spine.
"… Fine." King Piccolo muttered reluctantly. He looked at Dodoria. "So go get another one."
"Hey, watch it." Dodoria snarled.
"Dodoria, go get another one." Frieza ordered. Dodoria grunted in annoyance, but obeyed.

While they waited Cell looked at King Piccolo and steadily approached the namek, staring at him.
"What?" King Piccolo growled.
"… Yoink!" Cell beamed, and snatched the chocolate from King Piccolo's hand.
"Hey!" King Piccolo barked. "We never agreed on that!"
"Oh, we're stating the obvious?" Cell remarked, returning to his seat. "You're green and weak."
"Grrrrr…"

XXXXX

"Well… That looks awkward." Tambourine sweat dropped, staring out of King Piccolo's cave.
"Uh-huh." His three mutant namek siblings all nodded in agreement.
"I don't think Frikiza realises that she's playing with fire." Piano gasped.
"It's a shame… Frikiza was kind of cute. I don't think I want to watch King Piccolo murdering her." Drum uttered glumly.
"I wouldn't worry about it Drum, he wouldn't let you have a girlfriend anyway." Cymbal replied.

The four of them were stood at a safe distance, in the entrance of King Piccolo's cave, watching while King Piccolo and Frikiza had their first counselling session. Frikiza had tried to take King Piccolo back to her base, where their session could be private and confidential, but he'd refused. Not that it made much difference – he was refusing to talk to her anyway. They were sat opposite each other away from the cave, out of earshot of the mutants. King Piccolo had his arms folded and his shoulders hunched angrily and stubbornly. He was glaring at Frikiza, just like he had been for the past five minutes, and every word she spoke seemed to make him more and more enraged.
"Piccolo… This would be a whole lot easier if you just talked." Frikiza sighed. The demon king didn't respond. He just continued to glare at her. "Look – if you weren't going to treat these counselling sessions seriously then why did you even agree to do them?" Frikiza frowned.
"Not 'them'. One. This one." King Piccolo finally spoke, after a long and difficult silence.
"Okay… That's a start." Frikiza mumbled. "Well… the session is an hour, which means you only have an hour to talk – and you've already wasted five minutes of it!" She looked at the demon king, and he just smirked at her, his eyes twinkling menacingly. Dammit… Frikiza let out a sigh. He wasn't going to talk. He was planning on sitting there in silence for a whole hour; that way he wouldn't have done any work, but nobody could say he hadn't attended his counselling session! Why was he being so difficult? "You know, if you just talked a little about your life it might make you feel better." Frikiza said. "You might not be so… angry all the time."

King Piccolo continued to sit in silence, smirking at her mockingly. Stupid girl… What was she hoping to accomplish here? Did she think he would suddenly break down in tears and start talking about all the terrible people that had wronged him? Did she think she could save his soul, or purify him? Idiot. King Piccolo didn't need saving. He liked being an angry demon. He enjoyed being evil, terrorising people and making them do whatever he wanted… Who wouldn't enjoy that? It really was the lifestyle of a king. "Do you want to talk about your son?" Frikiza's words pulled King Piccolo to her attention, and he glared at her darkly, his blood starting to boil. How dare she… How dare she… "He's friends with Goku now, right? That must make you pretty mad –"
"Do not talk about my son!"

Frikiza's words were cut off by King Piccolo's hand clasping itself around her throat. In just milliseconds he had suddenly appeared in front of her and grabbed hold of her, lifting her up to his eye level as he stood on his feet before her. His free hand clenched into a fist and he gritted his teeth, snarling at Frikiza angrily as he glared into her eyes. "You will never mention him to me again. Do you understand?" King Piccolo seethed.
"Wh… Why?" Frikiza choked, trying to pull out of his grasp. "Y… Your son – he's a good guy –"
"He's a traitor!" King Piccolo roared, his anger burning and his ki flaring up so much it sent the rocks around them flying.

Over in his cave the mutant nameks watched the scene, trembling under the feeling of King Piccolo's rage.
"She's really pissed him off!" Tambourine gasped.
"I bet she mentioned Junior!" Drum growled.
"Well if she did I am not happy with her." Piano frowned. "I specifically told her not to mention Junior! He's going to be in a foul mood all day!"
"He's not gonna let us go to the amusement park, is he?" Cymbal sobbed.

Meanwhile Frikiza gasped, struggling to breathe under King Piccolo's titan grip.
"O… Okay!" She choked. "S-Sorry… I won't mention him again…" She stared into King Piccolo's eyes, trying to weigh him up as he watched her. He held his grip on her for a moment as he stared back… Then he suddenly smirked.
"Good." King Piccolo grunted, and suddenly threw Frikiza to the ground with all his might. She landed forcefully, cracking the ground underneath her and causing the earth to shudder from the impact. King Piccolo simply sniggered to himself, and sat back down.

Frikiza lifted herself up onto her hands and knees, batting the rocks off herself with her tail. Her entire body was aching… How much force had he put into that throw? Maybe she should have tried to protect herself a little…

She turned round and looked at him, climbing to her feet.
"Well, what do you want to talk about?" Frikiza asked. King Piccolo simply looked at her, and continued the silent treatment. "What? Seriously?" Frikiza whined. "Piccolo, this is ridiculous! You can't sit here in silence for an hour!"
"Forty five minutes." King Piccolo smirked.
"Is that so?" Frikiza growled, folding her arms. She studied him for a moment, thinking to herself. "Hm… Maybe if…" Frikiza suddenly smirked as an idea came into her head. "Hey. How about we do things your way?" She began. King Piccolo looked at her curiously.
"My way?" He uttered.
"Mm." Frikiza nodded. "You obviously don't have any problem hurting a girl… So, let's fight. If I lose, I'll let you go home now and I'll never bother you again, and if I win, you have to let me be your counsellor for the next eight weeks – and that includes coming to our meetings!"

King Piccolo stared at her in disbelief.
"Are you serious?" He gasped. What, did she had a death wish or something? He could feel her power, it wasn't half as high as his! And she had just seen what he could do! There had to be some sort of catch to this…
"Here." Frikiza moved her tail to draw a circle in the ground around them. "Whoever goes outside of the ring loses, okay?"
"… Hm." King Piccolo snorted. That was it. She didn't actually think she could defeat him, she just thought she could push him out of the ring. How naïve of her. "Are you sure about this, Little Girl?" King Piccolo said cockily, his wicked eyes sparkling with delight at the thought of fighting a living being. "Don't you think there's a chance that I'll kill you before you can even lay a finger on me? You are alive, aren't you? You do have something to lose."
"Well… maybe." Frikiza shrugged. "I guess we'll have to see, won't we?"

King Piccolo started to chuckle. Great… This was great! How could she be so stupid? She knew how powerful he was – how could she possibly think that she could even so much as push him? Well… whatever. This worked out well for him. It would put an end to this ridiculous counselling business, and… he would get to kill someone! King Piccolo's whole body tingled with excitement as he thought about it. It had been so long since he'd spilt someone's blood… Hot, warm, living blood… When was the last time he'd squeezed the life out of someone's body? He'd almost forgotten what it felt like, to feel the beat of a frightened heart in his hands, before it steadily stopped and the sweet smells of fear and defeat filled his nostrils… King Piccolo licked his lips in anticipation, his bloodlust growing. He felt so evil! He loved feeling like this!
"Okay." King Piccolo rose to his feet and looked down at Frikiza. She was such a small opponent… It was almost a disappointment; if he was going to kill a living person again he had hoped it would be Goku, or at least someone who could give him a decent fight… Still. Fear was fear, and defeat was defeat, and blood was blood. King Piccolo smirked, his eyes twinkling wickedly as he thought of an idea. Why not make this fun? He opened his arms out to expose his unguarded body to Frikiza, and smiled down at her. "Why don't you go first, Dear?"
"No… It's okay." Frikiza smiled back. "You're the man, right? You should lead."

King Piccolo started to laugh. How could she be so confident? No wonder she spent her life trying to turn bad people good – she was so stupid! She was so naïve it was almost unfunny; how in the world had she managed to survive past childhood? She must have been the luckiest person in the world to not have been killed already – or even worse. There were plenty of people down here who would certainly love to do much more than just kill her. She should count herself lucky that she was only up against King Piccolo and not some deranged pervert – at least King Piccolo would stop touching her body after he squeezed the life out of it!

Anyway… Fine. If she did insist on dying so soon… He would take the lead.
"Okay." King Piccolo agreed, looking down at Frikiza with an evil grin. "Well, I tried to be fair."
"It must have felt strange." Frikiza teased. King Piccolo wasn't insulted; he was amused by her arrogance. Such a fool… Die!

King Piccolo threw himself at her, putting every last ounce of strength in his body into a single punch. He couldn't hold back; as much as he wanted to savour this moment, he had spent so many years longing to draw another's blood that he couldn't even hope to restrain himself now! He felt every second as if time had been slowed down. He felt his power channelling itself into his fist; he felt the air move against his skin; he felt the heat of Frikiza's alive body draw nearer as his fist approached her, ready to punch that warm life right out of her in one single blow. King Piccolo felt his fist break through the armour on her chest – he was aiming for her heart. He wanted to destroy her being at its source. He felt her armour shatter around his fist; he felt the material graze against his skin, he felt his flesh come into contact with hers… and that was as far as he got. What the hell!

King Piccolo stood in awe, dumfounded when all the strength in his body failed to put a hole in hers. It felt like he was punching a brick wall! Time didn't speed up. It still felt as if the world was moving in slow motion as King Piccolo felt the force of his punch bounce off her and travel back up his body. It was all so slow, until…
"Aiiiiii!" King Piccolo howled in pain as all the might he had put into his punch suddenly came flying back at him, right up through his arm and into his shoulders, then finally down his back and all through his spine! He stared down at his fist with wide eyes and an open jaw, horrified at the sight he saw before him. His entire fist was bright purple and pulsing! His fingers were shattered – she had broken his fist! And… and his arm! King Piccolo gagged and spluttered as he took a step back from Frikiza, suddenly realising that he couldn't move his arm, or his shoulder… He felt pain. God, the pain! How had she done this? How had she managed to hurt him so much!
"Hey." Frikiza frowned up at him. "You broke my armour."
"What – gah!" King Piccolo was suddenly cut off when Frikiza's tail came lunging at him, hitting him with such force it sent him flying out of the ring and into a giant mountain a mile away.
"Aii!" The mutant nameks all gasped, unable to believe their eyes.
"K-King Piccolo!" Piano cried.
"What the hell did she do!" Tambourine screamed, and they all raced over to their master.

King Piccolo twitched, groaning as an overwhelming pain flooded his body. How… How had she done that…? He coughed and regained his composure, just in time to jump out of the way as the mountain collapsed around him. King Piccolo floated in mid-air, staring down at the pile of rubble that had stopped his flight. How had some done so much damage…? How!
"King Piccolo!" Piccolo looked up to see the mutant nameks racing towards him. Tambourine and Cymbal hovered in front of their master, looking at him in awe.
"A… Are you, okay?" Tambourine sweat dropped. King Piccolo looked down to see Piano and Drum staring up at him from the ground.
"… Fine." King Piccolo grunted, and flew down to his mutant children, followed by Tambourine and Cymbal.
"King Piccolo…" Piano gasped. "What… What happened, Sire?"
"Shut up!" King Piccolo roared, causing the mutants to all tremble in fear.
"Piccolo…"

King Piccolo and the mutants all looked up to see Frikiza standing there with her arms folded, looking at King Piccolo smugly.
"So. I guess you're my client now, right?" She smirked.
"… Who are you?" King Piccolo snarled.
"Well… Don't tell anybody, but I'm actually Frieza." Frikiza answered.
"What!" The mutants all cried.
"Yeah." Frikiza nodded. "He doesn't want anybody to know, but… I'm him, from another universe. You guys know I'm from another dimension, right?"
"But your power level isn't anywhere near his." King Piccolo frowned, not believing her. He glared at Frikiza angrily. "Insolent girl – do you really think I am that much of a fool?" King Piccolo snarled. "Who are you, really! Tell me!"
"I am him!" Frikiza protested. "But I've been alive longer, so I've learned how to read ki and lower my power level. Actually, I'm stronger than Frieza now. I… kind of decided I should start training, just in case my family find me and try to kill me for shaming them…" Her face darkened and she lowered her eyes in embarrassment as she spoke those last few words.
"Huh…?" Tambourine looked at Frikiza, tilting his head as he studied her. "King Piccolo… She does kind of look like him…"
"What? But – but that's cheating!" Piano frowned.
"Yeah – you deceived King Piccolo!" Drum growled.
"What?" Frikiza looked at them. "Are you guys really complaining that I wasn't fair? You guys?"
"It's fine, Boys." King Piccolo growled. He looked at Frikiza angrily. "I never cared for fairness before, and I won't start now." He smirked at her nastily. "Especially not for you, Frieza."

Frikiza glared at him.
"So you believe me now?" She seethed.
"Well… I suppose it would explain your power… and why you are such a repulsive creature." King Piccolo spat, believing her. So… another Frieza? Great. Was this one a perverted, disrespectful, over-confident and under-dressed alcoholic as well?
"Just make sure you show up on time to your rehabilitation classes!" Frikiza snapped, insulted by his last remark.
"Oh, I will." King Piccolo nodded. "Not that I'll be much use while I'm there." He gave Frikiza a cold, mocking stare that told her just how much he planned on making her wish she had never even met him. After all, what choice did King Piccolo have? Frikiza had just humiliated him, in front of his children! She had to pay.
"Well. You still have the rest of your session left. So do you mind?" Frikiza pouted.
"Mm." King Piccolo nodded again, and ripped off his broken arm. Frikiza gasped, her eyes widening.
"Piccolo! Why did you –" She stopped when she saw another arm sprout in its place, and her face darkened in embarrassment. "Oh… right. I forgot you could do that." She mumbled. King Piccolo just looked at her, and sat down, nodding at the mutants. They nodded back obediently, and left to return to their cave. "Okay, so… where we were?" Frikiza began, sitting down opposite King Piccolo. King Piccolo looked at her, and shrugged, refusing to utter a single word. "No… Piccolo, stop it!" Frikiza yelled. "Stop fooling around! You're supposed to take these sessions seriously!"

King Piccolo simply narrowed his eyes at her and continued his silent treatment, reminding her that he never actually agreed to cooperate. "Fine." Frikiza uttered, looking away. "Well, maybe I'll just sit here and talk about your son –"
"Don't you dare!" King Piccolo roared, and Frikiza giggled triumphantly.