Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MST3k, neither do I own the original fanfiction.

Episode 2: The Dairy of San Goku

[Cambot's field of view turns to the kitchen, where Mike is cooking Mac and cheese]

MIKE: It was a stroke of genius to buy all that Kraft Dinner before getting shot into space.

[Tom Servo and Crow pop up from behind him]

SERVO: Genius? More like goddawful luck.

CROW: If you were such a genius, you would have noticed they were turning the apartment building into a ROCKET SHIP before we were sent into orbit, Mike.

MIKE: I don't notice the small details, shoot me.

[Crow disappears under a counter and jumps back up holding a large futuristic gun]

MIKE: Woah! Metaphor! Metaphor!

CROW: You never let me have any fun.

[Crow puts the gun down].

SERVO: So, Mike, Mac and Cheese… It's pretty much what I expected, fits with your level of sophistication.

MIKE: (A little grumpy) And what's your favourite food?

SERVO: I'm a robot, Mike, I don't have a digestive system.

CROW: I like Mike's deodorant! Today, we're tasting "merge"!

[Crow grabs some deodorant from just out of Cambot's view range and starts to eat it. At the exact same moment, the television in the living room turns itself on. After a brief moment of static, it tunes itself to channel 666. Dr. Erhardt appears on screen].

DR. ERHARDT: Are you there, Mikey Mike?

[Mike and the bots move on to the living room, with Cambot's field of view following them].

MIKE: Not now! I'm getting ready to eat.

DR. ERHARDT: Do you think I care? The shadowy board of mysterious figures won't be patient like they were with Clay. I need results, fast!

SERVO: Wait, wasn't it the mysterious board of shadowy figures last week?

DR. ERHARDT: …shut up! Today's experiment is something so mind-bugling, staring at Chuthlu's real form would cause less brain damage. A cross-over between, get this, Dragonball and… the diary of Anne Frank.

[Mike and the bots stare and silence]

MIKE: … How… just, how…

SERVO: So is this a romance fanfiction or a vs. kind of thing?

CROW: I bet she has some awesome chi power! I can't wait to play as Anne Frank in the next DBZ budokei instalment!

DR. ERHARDT: It's quite short, so hurry up and go insane.

[The lights begin to flash wildly]

MIKE: We've got fanfic sign!

Goku/Anne Frank: Until the End of Time

Hi! ^_^

I/'m gofer-chan,

CROW: So she's an American… writing about a jewish girl… using Japanese naming genre. This just about checks every ethnicity box.

and this is my first piece of fanfiction!

MIKE: And hopefully the last.

SERVO: First piece of something alright.

It was my brother's idea, an Anne Frank/DBZ crossover!

CROW: Or at least that's what I think he said, it was hard to hear him over the five nurses trying to inject him with morphine.

I am big fans of both.

MIKE: I can't see the connection.

CROW: I'm a big fan of the WWF and daytime soaps, you don't see me making a crossover against nature!

MIKE: Shh, she might hear you!

Anne sighed as she sat in her room, staring at her wall.

MIKE: Man, I was I had TeVo.

CROW: A hundred and ninety four stripes, a hundred and ninety five stripes, a hundred and ninety… wait, where was I again? Ah, damn, I have to start from the beginning!

SERVO: Starring at the wall! The most exciting activity since watching paint dry!

She just finished writing in her diary, and had nothing to do.

CROW: That's gonna be one boring diary to read.

SERVO: Dear diary, today I wrote in you.

[Mike chuckles]

Life was boring in the Secret Annex, but it was better than the alternative.

CROW: Working for minimum wage at Chucky Cheese.

MIKE: Hey! Don't put down the Chucky, I have three whole summers there on my resume.

It was alright talking to Peter and Margot, but they were both such quiet

people,

CROW: They always stopped talking whenever she came in the room.

MIKE: And pointed at her and sneered and stuff.

unlike the always active Anne. All of a sudden, a flash of

light appeared in the room!

MIKE: Man, I need to cut down the crack.

SERVO: So that's what an aneurysm feels like.

Anne jumped back, stifling a scream. Before

she could run out the closed door she noticed that the person who

appeared in the flash was not a Nazi officer,

SERVO: Even if it was a Nazi officer, what could she do since he can apparently materialise out of thin air!

MIKE: Quick, only this thin wood door can protect you!

but someone who she had

never seen before!

MIKE: And I'm the most popular girl at school, I know EVERYONE!

CROW: I have to ruin this new kid's life.

His clothes were very strange, and his hair was in

a spiky style that was totally new to her.

SERVO: Not to mention physically impossible to pull off.

CROW: I can suspend my disbelief for the planet-destroying aliens, but I cannot do it for Goku's hair..

She stood against the wall, wary of the stranger,

CROW: And then started to unbutton her shirt.

MIKE: What?

CROW: You mean it's not that kind of fic?

but he walked towards her and smiled, extending a

hand. "My name is Goku."

CROW: I hope he's going to save the "I'm an alien from another world sent to destroy you" talk for the second date.

The mysterious stranger said. Anne nervously

put her hand in his. He bent down and kissed it softly, then let go.

CROW: With Goku's power level, shouldn't that atomise her hand?

MIKE: I'm amazed he doesn't break the earth's crust with every step.

Anne blushed, feeling something she had never felt before go off inside

of her.

MIKE: It's the last time I eat sushi out of the back of a strange man's van.

"My name is Anne..." she replied quietly. "I'm sorry for what

just happened," Goku told her, "But I was caught in a time portal and

deposited here! My power cells will recharge soon, but until then, I'm

stuck here."

CROW: How delightfully convenient.

MIKE: Wait, what power cell? There was no mention of a time machine, is Goku a robot now?

SERVO: We can rebuild him, we have the technology, and we have a lot of coupons for spare parts.

Anne had no idea what the handsome visitor was talking about,

SERVO: Half the words he used haven't been invented yet.

but she played along. "Well, sir" she said. "You may stay in my

room as long as you like!"

MIKE: Maybe it is that kind of fic, Crow.

CROW: Remember you're married, Goku!

SERVO: But Chichi doesn't understand me like Anne does!

Anne blushed again as she said this, and

giggled slightly.

[Mike and the bots all let out hysterical, and fake, laughs]

Goku looked around, and then sat on the bed. "Thank

you for the invitation. I'll be sure to repay you for it soon."

CROW: By eating all your food and acting as a magnet for every overpowered alien in a five million light-year radius.

Anne did not understand what he meant by that, however,

CROW: However, her imagination was going wiiiiiild!

SERVO: Bow chicka bow wow, bow chicka bow wow!

[Mike and Crow join in and soon all three are going "Bow chicka bow wow!"]

when he spoke, she felt a warmth deep inside of her.

ALL: Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

She sat by him on the bed, staring at the man's beautiful eyes.

SERVO: Beautiful yet simple… VERY simple.

Finally, she could stand it no longer.

Anne leaned over and kissed the stranger on the cheek,

CROW: Haha, Anne you slut.

SERVO: Before marriage?

MIKE: She knows she can get pregnant from doing that, right?

and then pulled back quickly, not sure of what she had done. "I'm sorry..." she said,

as she stumbled to find the right words.

SERVO: I'm sorry for doing something that can be seen as a purely platonic gesture of friendship.

The visitor smirked. "No,

that's quite alright." He replied with a smile, putting one arm around

her. "You know, you're a very beautiful girl, but I... well..."

MIKE: I'm gay.

CROW: Which is why I spend all my time training with muscular men, away from my wife.

Anne looked at him, troubled. "What's the matter?" she said, with a sweet

smile.

CROW: Well, let's see, he just appeared out of nowhere two minutes ago in a flash of light, he's an alien, he's married, he died and came back from the dead more time than Jesus… The list just goes on.

Goku looked nervous. "I... I'm already married." he finally

managed to choke out. Anne pulled away from him abruptly. "No!"

MIKE: How can my one true love whom I've met three minutes ago and whom I don't understand half of what he says already be married? Besides, isn't he like fifty?

she said loudly, almost in tears. "I'm sorry..." he replied.

CROW: Man, if it was possible I'd say that this was a self-insertion fic.

SERVO: Maybe this gofer-chan person actually is Anne Frank. Did they ever found the body?

Anne was

furious. "Nothing ever goes right!" she cried out.

CROW: Just give it a few more days; you won't be bitching about the handsome stranger leaving you anymore.

MIKE: That's a bit insensitive…

"I have to go

now, my power cells have recharged." said Goku.

SERVO: He really should've been using Duracell.

Anne was in tears

by now, staring at the wall so she wouldn't see Goku's face.

CROW: Well, time to resume where I left off, one stripe, two stripes, three stripes.

He smiled a sad smile, and disappeared in another flash, out of Anne's

life forever.

CROW: Nevermind asking the stranger with awesome powers and technology for some help.

MIKE: Girls can't be trusted with important matters

TZIGANE (off screen): I heard that!

Anne never forgot him, though... not until the end of time.

SERVO: Or, as history knows it, Tuesday.

[The fanfic is replaced by static on the tv. Crow goes out of Cambot's view range for a moment, and comes back with a diary, already writing in it].

MIKE: What are you doing, Crow?

CROW: I'm going to chronicle my own tale of captivity and fear, I'm going to call it "the diary of Crow T. Robot".

SERVO: You might as well sell it to the Sci fi Channel or Comedy Central.

[A loud banging noise can be heard off screen]

TZIGANE: OW! Servo, mind the fourth wall, will you?

CROW: Seriously, I'm going to be rich. This Anne Frank was a genius, bet she's living the good life now.

MIKE: Actually, I'm fairly certain she's dead, Crow. I don't think it's right to parody her story.

SERVO: Yeah, because mocking people is something we only do ALL THE TIME.

CROW: Why are you being mister sensitive for? I've seen you in the shower, you're not Jewish.

MIKE: You don't have to be Jewish to feel compassion for other human beings, and when?

SERVO: Yeah, Mike, that whole compassion thing is lost on us. Crow, I want 50% of the business.

MIKE: When Joel built you, what did he use as your morality unit?

SERVO: They were backorder on me for that part.

CROW: Mine's a blow dryer. It's just air.

MIKE: I dunno, I guess I just identify with her, being trapped… only we're in space, and she's not… and people were hunting her, Dr. Erhardt knows exactly where we are… and she was always afraid, we're more of a mix of annoyed and frustrated…

CROW: So what you're saying is the two situations are completely different?

MIKE: Yeah, I don't know what came over me. Crow, I want 30% of the profits.

[The static slowly disappears, leaving a message reading the words: "part 2"].

One month. Well, it didn't feel like a month.

CROW: It felt more like 28 days. I was in alcoholic stupor for the last two.

To Anne Frank, a Jew in hiding from the Nazis, it seemed like a year.

SERVO: Now, was it a leap year or a normal year, because this is important.

One month since the fateful encounter with the mysterious man from another world, who she only knew as 'Goku'.

MIKE: Or yummy buns.

The handsome stranger had stepped through time and into her life,

SERVO: So, Anne, how's that brain tumour going?

then disappeared without a trace.

CROW: In one of the most boring, plotless fanfic ever.

Anne was almost sure that they'd never meet again, even though not one day passed without her dreaming of him. Little did she know, however, that their lives were tied by the unbreakable red string of fate.

CROW: Were they out of any other colour?

SERVO: Isn't time travelling proof that fate doesn't exist?

MIKE: What do you mean?

SERVO: Well, if something happened in the past, and you can go and change it, doesn't that mean that nothing is set in stone?

MIKE: I think that really depends on your approach of time travelling.

CROW: Oh, yeah, don't get me started on Doctor Who.

It was another boring day in the Secret Annex.

CROW: Somehow watching the wall wasn't fun anymore.

Anne sat on the bed of her room, writing in her diary.

MIKE: Dear diary, today I wrote in you.

SERVO: I already did that one, Mike.

It never occurred to her, however, that this entry would be her last.

CROW: You'd think this would occur to her every single day.

SERVO: I somehow suspect this piece won't be entirely historically accurate.

MIKE: What tipped you off?

As she wrote in the quiet attic, there was a loud noise from downstairs.

SERVO: Damn kids and their music, it's just noise to me!

MIKE: I'm sorry, I really thought this one would be silent.

Her heart jumped with both fear and excitement.

MIKE: You'd think loud noises wouldn't cause excitement for someone in hiding.

SERVO: The brain tumour's mixing up her feelings.

Was it them? The Nazis? Or, could it be… him?

CROW: Tony The tiger!

SERVO: Hey, it's twice as believable as Goku!

She had no idea whether to run downstairs or to hide. That decision, however, was made for her.

MIKE: It's not the 1940's, women have no rights to make decisions yet.

TZIGANE (off screen): That's your second strike, Mike!

Her door flew open, and a tall soldier was visible in the doorway, glaring at her.

CROW: Nazi soldier, I choose you!

MIKE: Nazi soldier, use glare!

SERVO: o/~ Gotta catch 'em all o/~

The cries of her family members and friends were tuned out as Anne only thought of one thing.

CROW: Do these jeans make me look fat?

MIKE: Look it's Tom Cruise.

She stood up and followed the soldier out of her room, down the stairs, and into the back of a truck.

MIKE: Lady, I'm just the milkman, get out of my truck.

"So this is it." She said quietly to herself. "I'll never see him, my one true love,

MIKE: Is she talking about Goku?

SERVO: She saw him for a whole lot of thirty seconds, and now he's her one true love? Man that's worse than reality tv.

ever again. And all those years of hiding… they were for naught." Then, Anne realized that she left her precious diary up in her room.

CROW: Yeah, after a hundred and twenty pages of "Dear diary, today I stared at the wall and wrote in you", she forgets it when the interesting stuff begin.

[Mike gives him a look]

CROW: Sad, awful… but interesting.

She broke loose from the officer, and made a dash back into the shop, when he removed a gun from his holster and fired a shot in her direction. Anne fell to the floor.

CROW: I regret nothing!

Anne lay on the floor, feeling searing pain run through her leg, where the bullet had met its mark.

MIKE: That bullseye tattoo was a really bad idea in retrospect.

SERVO: Should've gone with the more popular "Do not shot here".

The Gestapo officer menacingly moved towards her, grinning, when all of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light, causing the officer to shield his eyes.

MIKE: Man, was there asbestos in that house? They're all coming down with severe cases of the crazy.

A huge cloud of smoke appeared next to Anne, blocking her from the soldier's vision. When the smoke cleared, he was in for quite a surprise.

CROW: Koffing!

MIKE: Smoke? If it turns out to be mist, and we're adding Silent Hill to the crossover mix, I swear…

There was Goku, holding Anne in his arms, standing next to a huge metal capsule. "Goku!" cried Anne "You came back… for me!"

SERVO: That Anne Frank sure is self-involved.

CROW: Goku, let's go back to my room and make out.

MIKE: But Anne, shouldn't we help the rest of your family and friends?

CROW: I have mentioned them once in this entire fic, do you think I care about them?

Goku smiled. "Anything for you, my dear." He said. "Our love will never be lost… not until the end of time."

MIKE: What love? They met a month ago for two minutes!

SERVO: So are we to understand that Goku went back home, divorced his wife, and then came back specifically for Anne Frank?

MIKE: That is… totally believable.

CROW: Mike, are you peeling off the skin on your hand?

MIKE: it hurts less than the fanfic world. It hurts less than the fanfic world.

The Gestapo officer turned tail and ran, but Goku was too quick for him. After laying Anne on the concrete,

SERVO: It's ok Goku, you can have your little fight, I still have 2 or 3 pints of blood left…

he dashed towards the Nazi and knocked him to the ground, unconscious, with only one blow. "Nazi scum." Muttered Goku as he spit on his enemy's limp body, then returned to Anne.

MIKE: Wow, love can really change a man, it turned Goku from a sweet, if somewhat naïve and idealistic man who would never use his powers to hurt the weak into a cocky bastard.

SERVO: I'm starting to believe this is a Nazi propaganda fic.

"Here, I have something for you." Goku said,

MIKE: It better be jewellery.

as he removed a small bean from his pocket. "What on earth is this?" asked Anne. Goku smiled, remember how ignorant she was to what was everyday life to him.

SERVO: Being from an alternate universe does that to you.

"A senzu bean." He said. "Just eat it, and it will cure your leg." Anne followed his instructions and popped the bean into her mouth,

MIKE: Come on Anne, all the cool kids are doing it.

as the wound on her calve magically healed. "Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick."

CROW: This summer blockbuster, starring Silverstone Stallone as Goku.

Anne jumped on the mysterious Saiyan's back, as he launched off into the sky.

MIKE: Wouldn't it be safer for Anne to stay here than bringing her into the middle of a battlefield?

After only a few moments, the two of them arrived in Berlin. Tanks were parading down the street, as Adolf Hitler himself stood on a platform overlooking it all.

MIKE: Why are the cheerleaders always in front? I want to be in front!

CROW: I wonder if people will think I'm gay if I wave like the queen.

"Stay here." Goku said, dropping Anne in a shaded area under a tree.

MIKE: A single tree? That'll make her invisible.

CROW: At least it's nice and cool under the shade.

He then flew straight towards the parade of tanks, fist outstretched, screaming as loud as he could.

SERVO: And then remember he had to be discreet to make sure history remained unaltered, oh well.

The soldiers below scattered in terror,

MIKE: If only the French knew how easy it was to scare the Germans away.

while the tanks tried to aim their cannons at him. He was too quick and nimble for them, however, and opened the hatch of a nearby Panzer, then headed inside.

MIKE: Nevermind that he could blast them all away in a second, he sure likes a show.

CROW: Nothing like tearing your enemies to pieces with your bare hands.

After dispatching of the soldiers in control of the war machine, he took the wheel.

CROW: Man and their toys.

SERVO: Wow, that has got to be the most useless decision. Ever.

He fired round after round into the crowds of Nazi soldiers, occasionally firing at the other tanks.

SERVO: Because, you know, just disabling the leader and rendering the weapons useless while not making any victim would be too much in character.

CROW: Yeah, in character, who wants that?

After only minutes, there was nothing but a cloud of dust and corpses.

SERVO: I think someone is solving issues through Goku.

CROW: And that is why these should be PERSONAL fantasies.

Goku emerged from the tank's hatch, smiling now that he had done his duty.

CROW: hehe, killing people is funny.

When all of the dust cleared, there were only two people remaining on the parade ground:

MIKE: Anne had died at the beginning as collateral damage.

Goku, the Saiyan hero,

MIKE: Who probably just rewrote history by creating the german genocide.

CROW: Does that mean we'll have tip toe around the Germans instead of the Jews now?

and Adolf Hitler, the most evil man ever to walk the earth.

MIKE: What about Dr. Gero?

CROW: Or Nappa, or Raditz, or Vegeta?

SERVO: Or, really, anyone who Goku fights every third manga?

Anne watched from nearby fearfully as she saw the two men stare at each other for what seemed like hours.

CROW: It's a staring contest.

MIKE: Musn't… laugh…

Her one true love,

MIKE: Whom she now knows for two full hours!

and her ultimate oppressor. It had come down to this. "So," Hitler said jovially

MIKE: So… gay?

"You took out all of my men. However, you aren't going to defeat me."

MIKE: He's very upbeat even though his whole army was decimated.

CROW: Didn't he commit suicide in a similar situation?

Hitler then jumped down from his platform and down onto the street in front of Goku, pulling a chain gun from the ground nearby. Goku quickly jumped behind a ruined tank, as Adolf opened fire.

MIKE: Where exactly in the DBZ continuity does this fit? I'm sure Goku wouldn't be vulnerable to bullets ever since his childhood.

The tank made decent cover, but it wasn't long until it would be torn apart by the hail of bullets.

MIKE: I know I should be surprised by the blatant disregard of, let's see, physical laws, but… this is really just a minor offence at this point.

CROW: This is like a student production of some really bad movie.

Goku had to act. He dashed out from the side of the tank, and flew as fast as he could toward Hitler, who had no time to react.

MIKE: Should I make my surprised face or my angry face or oh damn he's already here!

He grabbed the chain gun out of his enemy's hands, and snapped it over his knee with ease.

CROW: But he somehow couldn't think of doing that with Hitler's neck.

Hitler stumbled backwards, shocked at the turn of events.

CROW: How could the man who single-handedly destroyed my entire army beat me?

MIKE: It's madness! Madness I tell you!

Goku smirked, then said "It's come down to this. You and me. Fighting like men.

MIKE: Or, fighting like an overpowered alien being and a man.

If you admit defeat now, I'll kill you rather painlessly."

MIKE: Well, at least he finally learned his lesson about letting his opponent live.

CROW: It's for the best, I'd hate to see Hitler join the team in the next season of Dragonball and hooking up with, I dunno...

SERVO: Chichi? She's free now…

CROW: Yeah, with Chichi, and then they'd have half-human, half-german babies.

MIKE: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

Goku had the definite advantage. Or so it seemed. Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically.

MIKE: Sorry, Goku, I just thought of something really funny that happened this morning, but you had to be there.

The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue.

MIKE: …WHAT?!

[Servo's dome actually explodes at this point]

SERVO: Error. Does not compute. Does not compute.

CROW: I wish my head could do that.

MIKE: …Hitler.. is a super saiyan?! That's wrong in like eight different ways!

CROW: At least we have the answer to a long-time unanswered question. When Saiyans transform, the carpet does match the drapes.

Goku reeled in horror.

MIKE: Welcome to the club.

Hitler continued laughing, then finally said "Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!" Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.

CROW: It's not like the two are mutually exclusive.

MIKE: Seriously, the author never read any of the notices that read "Do not inhale", right?

SERVO: Error… error…

[Tzigane crawls into Cambot's range, carrying a new Servo head in her mouth. She manages to unscrew the old one and plug in the new one with relative ease].

CROW: That was strangely arousing.

Anne looked on in awe, not sure what was going on.

MIKE: Welcome to the friggin' club!

At first, it seemed like her lover would win the battle, but now she was not so sure. Goku now seemed scared of his opponent, and it was for a good reason. Hitler continued to speak

MIKE: If Hitler says "I'm your father, Goku" I swear I'm leaving. I don't care if it's -12 Kelvin outside, I'm walking back to earth.

SERVO: If he does say that, don't repair me after I explode.

"Goku, can't you see? I've reached a power level 10 TIMES anything you've ever achieved!

Mike & The Bots: His power level is over 9000! HAAA!

Your fate is sealed, weakling."

MIKE: Why did he need an army to conquer Europe, then?

CROW: Because he liked the company of young, strapping men. Keep up, Mike.

Even though the battle seemed unwinnable, Goku charged in, screaming at the top of his lungs. Every blow he struck with was deflected off of Hitler's rock hard body.

CROW I knew this was a slash fic! They're gonna start making out any second.

[Servo's head starts to fume again].

Hitler waited for Goku to tire himself out, then raised his fist and punched Goku. And one punch was enough.

MIKE: I'm going back in my time machine and going home.

Goku was knocked across the street into a large propaganda poster of Hitler, thudding to the cold, hard ground. Hitler laughed, thinking that victory was in his hands at last.

CROW: Hitler obviously never watched Dragonball Z.

MIKE: If the Frieza arc is anything to go by, there should still be about five hundred pages of this.

Goku, however, was not ready to give up. Bruised and battered, he rose from the ground, limping in Hitler's direction.

MIKE: If that's from a single punch, I'm going to go on a wild bet and say he's screwed.

CROW: It's ok, I'm just waiting for Anne Frank to shout "David Star Power, Make up!"

The Nazi leader laughed. "You still want to fight? Don't you know when to give up, boy? You can hardly walk. And you expect to beat ME? Conqueror of Europe?"

MIKE: After you've defeated conqueror of worlds, that phrase simply doesn't have that much impact.

CROW: I don't understand why someone with Hitler's power level would settle for just Europe?

Goku ignored Adolf's taunts as he continued to stumble his way forward. Finally, the two archrivals

MIKE: Archrivals? Hitler's more like a monster of the week.

CROW: Unless they make him into a recrurring character.

were standing face to face. Goku stared Hitler into the eye, then screamed "This… is

Mike & The Bots: SPARTA!

for LOVE!"

MIKE: For love? Great, is Sailor Moon joining in this too now?

and flew up into the sky, his hair turning blonde, his eyes blue, and an aura of power radiating from him. Hitler looked on in horror at Goku.

SERVO: They have two emotions: cocky and horror, nothing else.

CROW: That's gonna be one fun marriage.

He had made the ultimate achievement.

CROW: A B+ on the midterm math test!

He had become a Super Ultra Power Saiyan

[Sparks fly out of Servo's dome]

. Goku made a cup shape with his hands, aiming at Hitler, as he belted out the words "Kame… Hame… HAAAAA!"

MIKE: Bless you. Need a tissue?

as a beam of pure energy shot at his enemy, disintegrating the Nazi leader's body.

CROW: Now why didn't he do that from the start?

Goku then collapsed to the ground in a heap, exhausted from the fight.

CROW: Goku then woke up to realise this was just an awful, awful nightmare.

MIKE: No more chocolate before naptime.

Anne and Goku had finally reached the date of their wedding. After the battle, Anne and Goku destroyed the time machine and took a boat to Australia.

CROW: After defeating a super powered Hitler, what else can you do but settle in 1940's down under with a girl you barely know.

They changed their names and lived new lives, ready to start over.

MIKE: Ok, now that just seems totally pointless. NO ONE would be looking for them since all the Germans are dead and no one knows about what happened.

CROW: Except maybe Goku's friends and family, to give him a much needed wake up call.

The two young people looked into each others eyes as they kissed, as the reverend pronounced them man and wife.

MIKE: Back in my days, they wouldn't let a cartoon and a real person marry.

CROW: Oh, NOW you bring that up?

Finally, it seemed, Anne was at peace. And they would always be together, until the end of time.

MIKE: I wish that this last sentence would back up my theory that Anne died when she was shot, and that this entire adventure was nothing more than a dying girl's dream, but, and I can't believe I'm saying this, it seems unlikely.

[The tv resumes its broadcast of world's greatest snow storms. Oh, wait, it's just static].

[A little while later, Mike comes back from the bathroom and finds Crow and Tom dressed respectively as Abraham Lincoln and Cloud Strife].

MIKE: What are you guys doing now?

CROW: Hey Mike, we're thinking up impossible crossovers like the one in today's fanfic. Right now we're reinacting a scene from my screenplay: Lincoln and Sailor moon: A love story featuring Micheal Moore as Megatron from transformers.

MIKE: That… seems to make a lot of sense.

SERVO: Do you want to be Micheal Moore, Mike? You may have to put on a few pounds, but…

MIKE: No, I'm good.

[Tzigane suddenly pops out from behind the sofa, with a hat representing a blue telephone box].

TZIGANE: Woosh! Woosh! Do not fear mister president, The Doctor and companion Tzigane are coming to save you!

CROW: Tzigane! What are you doing, that's not in the script at all!

TZIGANE: I'm just trying to add some sexy to your play, Crow.

MIKE: …Ok, I'm going to go and take a shower and let the crazy die down…

[Mike leaves the room].

CROW: Ok, Cambot, bring me back some more jucy pictures. If I sell enough of them over the internet, I'll be able to afford that new platinum finish.

[Cambot follows Mike in the bathroom, unnoticed. However, just as gets to the good bits, the screen reads: "CAMBOT BATTERY LOW".]

-End of Episode 2-