Still sobbing uncontrollably you've completely forgotten about the towel draped over your arm, only to notice that it has now slid down a few inches, revealing the blood soaked gauze. Regina caught sight of the harsh color and immediately panicked.
"Emma, what happened to your arm?! You're bleeding! Let me look-" but before Regina could finish her sentence you sat up and covered your arm back up.
"I-it's n-nothing," you lie. Regina looks at you with panic and worry etched into her features.
"Baby that's too much blood for it to be nothing," she says as she grabs your wrist. You try to pull away but one look into those hazel eyes and you lose your will to fight. You let your arm go limp in Regina's grasp as she slowly inches the towel down, terrified of what she would find. You look away, afraid to see the anger or disappointment in your lover's eyes. You hear the towel hit the floor as a small gasp escapes Regina's lips.
You've never seen this much damage before. You knew Emma had trouble with cutting in the past but her scars were so faint; it never crossed your mind that she would go back to it.
"Emma," you breathe out. Her arm lay limp in your hands, as a pang of hurt rushes through your body. You begin to rub at her back gently, trying to soothe her pain just as much as your own.
You hear the disappointment in her voice. You let her down. Again.
"I am a mistake," You say staring down at the bed picking an invisible piece of thread.
You choke back a sob knowing full well that you had caused this, but this wasn't about you, this was about Emma, you think to yourself.
You stand up, still holding Emma's hand as you walk to the side of the bed reaching out your other hand, signaling for her to take it.
You look up at her, afraid of what judgment hazel eyes may hold. But in place of anger and disappointment you see genuine worry and compassion.
"Come on," you say nodding your head towards the bathroom. Emma reluctantly stands up and you pull her in the direction she needs to be going. You have her sit on the side of the tub and you turn towards the medicine cabinet, and reach for the rubbing alcohol, cotton swabs, gauze and tape.
Your eyes widen in fear as you see the rubbing alcohol. You instinctively start moving backwards, almost falling into the tub. "No. No alcohol, it's gonna hurt," You whine, realizing how silly it sounds coming out of your mouth; especially considering what was being cleaned.
"I'll take care of you," You reassure her.
You sit next to her on the edge of the tub and put her arm in your lap. You look down at the mangled mess that was Emma's arm. Some of the cuts look too deep to be cleaned with just alcohol but you knew Emma would refuse to go the hospital for stitches. The gashes in her arm are angry, no doubt revealing the pain she felt when she inflicted them on herself. Emma looks down at her arm shamefully then looks up at you.
"Ready?" you ask.
You slowly nod your head and take a deep breath before Regina starts on the first wound. When the alcohol soaked cotton ball touches your arm, you puff out your cheeks trying not to make a sound. It burns throughout your entire body, making you feel it all the way down in your toes. Seeing your discomfort, your lover gently blows on the wound hoping to ease your pain as best she can. She feels you relax just a bit as she continues to blow on the wounds. Neither one of you speak as she repeats the process from your wrist to the crook of your elbow.
After you dress Emma's wounds you lead her back into the bedroom laying her head on top of your chest. Emma closes her eyes trying to shut out the day's events from her mind. You lay there brushing blonde hair behind her ear trying to comfort her. "You aren't a mistake, Emma. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, besides Henry, of course."
You use Regina's stomach as leverage and quickly push yourself up looking at her with terror in your eyes.
"Oh god! Henry! What is he gonna think of me now?! God I'm so-" but she cut you off before you could go any further.
"Henry won't know a thing. He doesn't need to know. Not now. You're his hero Emma, and that will never change," you tell her. "Come on and lay back down, just try and relax for a little bit, it's been a long day." You say as you guide her back to her spot on your chest and kiss the top of her head. You start humming softly and you feel Emma curl into you even more than she already was. "This heart, it beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours..." you sing softly, almost whispering in her ear. Emma throws her arm across your stomach and lets your angelic voice sing her to sleep. You look down at the peaceful creature on top of you and swear at yourself for ever hurting her in the first place. You shudder at the thought of who came out of you in that fight and vowed you would never hurt your beautiful dove again, no matter what the cost.
