He went back to find her again a few weeks later, once he was slightly more comfortable in his new skin. He'd looked in the mirror once he got back to the TARDIS and grimaced. Not the prettiest, this time around. All rough around the edges, sharp angles and callused hands. It made sense, he supposed.

He'd avoided looking at himself, after that.

But now, he walked toward the beach, and wondered what the hell he was doing, coming back here. He had told her he would. But it wasn't like he had promised. And even if he had – he had broken promises before.

Really, he was just getting lonely, again.

He looked down at the bouquet of roses in his hand. Bright and colorful. Reds and oranges and yellows and pinks. Like the sky on the night that he'd met her. He hoped she would like them. Clutched the flowers tighter.

She was sitting on the same rock as before, laid out on her back over the seaweed, basking in the sunlight. Her tail dangled off the end of the smooth, flat surface. She hummed softly to herself, watched the sky.

At the sound of his heavy footsteps, new boots thudding in the sand, she sat up. Her head whipped back in his direction, and she let out a tiny, surprised gasp.

"It's you," she said, her gaze trailing from his head to his feet. "I was wondering. If you'd ever come back."

"Said I would, didn't I?"

She gestured for him to join her, patting the rock beside her tail. Her expression was just as welcoming as he remembered. Warm, kind eyes, and a soft, charming smile. As he approached, she shifted to make more room for him. His thigh pressed against her tail, firm scales brushing against his black pants.

Once they were settled, he held out the flowers for her to take, and her smile widened.

"These are roses?" she asked him. He nodded. Her fingers brushed against his, soft against his rough, callused hand as she accepted the bouquet.

"Fresh from Cyllia, as promised."

"They're beautiful," she said, letting out a breathless laugh. Her eyes were wide with wonder and what almost seemed like disbelief. Her fingertips traced the delicate petals of a pink flower. For a moment, her nose scrunched up, and she leaned her face forward to inhale. "Oh! And they smell heavenly. Are all flowers like this?"

"They all have scents, if that's what you mean. Slightly different, though, depending on the species."

"It's lovely," she said, and she breathed in deeply again, burying her nose in an orange rose. "Everything in the sea is all…salty."

"I would think so."

"Oh, shut up." She cocked an eyebrow at the smirk on his face and hit him in the chest playfully.

He had her full attention now, he realized, as she set the bunch of flowers on the rock beside her. She reached for the lapels of his new leather jacket, running her hands along the material. It would be foreign to her, he knew – no leather like that in the sea. She rubbed it between her fingers, then smiled and gave it a little pat, just above the heart.

He was all too aware of his proximity to her now, as he was examined under her careful gaze. If she tilted her head up just a fraction more, their lips would only be inches apart.

He leaned away from her touch. Cleared his throat.

"Have I got your approval, then?"

She blushed a little at his words, her pink-tinged skin nearly matching the color of her tail.

"Maybe," she teased, her tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth. "Really though, Doctor. You look…better. I like the outfit, it suits you."

He couldn't help but smile and let out a pleased hum. She rolled her eyes at his smug response.

"You're supposed to say thank you," she said, but she was smiling nonetheless. "You think you're so impressive."

"I am so impressive."

"I supposed," she shrugged. She leaned backwards, stretching out over the surface of the rock. Her hands linked behind her head, a tiny cushion against the hard surface. She closed her eyes.

It was like a painting, he thought, as her tail shimmered in the sunlight. Her hair spilled onto the seaweed in golden waves.

He realized after a moment that he was staring. He shifted uncomfortably. Averted his eyes.

"So," he said, watching the water. "How's life down in the deep blue sea?"

"Hasn't changed much, really," Rose sighed. "Dark and wet. Not very exciting, down there."

"No?"

"I did go exploring a bit, though. Found a sunken ship a few weeks ago, dragged Mickey along with me. But it was mostly empty, and I got an earful from Mum for days afterward."

He looked back at her, hesitating before he moved to stretch out beside her. He leaned back on his elbows so he could still watch the subtle movement of the waves. She opened her eyes as he shifted, and smiled when she saw what he was doing. She picked herself up and leaned on her own arms beside him.

"You, though," she said. "I bet you've had all sorts of exciting adventures, up in the stars."

"Been a few places."

"Tell me about them. I could do for a nice story."

"Bounced around the neighboring solar system for a bit. There's a planet called Woman Wept. It's rather famous, because of the frozen waters. Something happened to the sun – all the heat sucked out of the atmosphere. And the entire planet froze over in an instant."

"Even the ocean?" she asked, and he knew from the distant look in her eyes that she was imagining. "Wow. That must be gorgeous."

"It is. That's why I went. Also stopped an alien invasion on the planet Ionamo."

"What, really?"

"Yeah. They've famous mountain ranges there, hundreds of miles high, and they stretch out for miles. I just went to appreciate the view, but I got caught up in events, you know," he said. "There were these people from a nearby planet that crash landed, caused a bit of panic."

"But you helped them?"

"Yep. All settled. I was able to reason with everyone."

She hesitated before she asked her next question.

"On your own?"

He glanced down at her and swallowed.

"Yeah. On my own."

"All this time, you've been alone?" she asked, her brow furrowing. "This whole year?"

"Year?" he repeated. "What do you mean, year?"

"The last time I saw you was almost a year ago, Doctor."

"A year ago," he repeated incredulously, thinking back to when he set the TARDIS coordinates. "But I – well. Twelve months, twelve weeks. Same difference, I suppose."

Rose gave him a strange look.

"What are you on about?"

"It's only been twelve weeks, for me," he told her, and she shook her head.

"But – I don't – how does that even work, then?"

"Did I never mention? My ship. My spaceship. It also travels in time."

"You're pulling my tail," she said, laughing with disbelief. "You can travel through time? Oh, don't even answer that. Of course you can."

He delighted in the sound of her laughter, unable to help his wide grin. When Rose fell quiet again, she sighed and sat up straight. Taking his cues from her, he did too. She shifted closer to him, leaned into his side, just a bit. He let her.

"That sounds amazing," she said. "Travelling through space and time."

"It is."

"Not if you're alone," she said firmly, fixing an intense glare in his direction.

He wants to smile at her fiery insistence, and tell her to just come along, then, and he won't be alone anymore. He wants to show her – give her proof of everything he said. Show her the high, frozen waves of Woman Wept, watch her breathless laughter puff through the cold air. Take her to see Cyllia, because a lousy bouquet was no match for the expansive gardens they had come from, and he already knows how excited she would be, and how she would say yes, if she could.

But she couldn't. And all he had to offer were secondhand stories and flowers that would wilt.

And he didn't deserve her, anyway.

"I don't need anyone," he said instead, but he couldn't quite meet her eyes, and he was sure she knew he was lying.

"Then why did you come back here?"

He didn't have an answer for her.

"I told you when we met," she said. "No one should be alone."

"And I told you when we met that you don't really know me."

He clenched his jaw and looked away from her sharply, out over the ocean. For some irrational reason, this wonderful, pink and yellow mermaid was showing him unending kindness and compassion. And he was sitting there, letting her do it. Like a selfish fool.

She leaned away from him, seeming to understand that he wanted space. The cold sea breeze drifted between them.

"I'd like to know you," she said. "Don't think I haven't noticed that I've been doing most of the talking, here. You haven't told me anything about you, other than the fact that you're on your own."

He stayed quiet. Waited for her to continue.

"I know you're from a different planet, and that you like to travel. An alien, that's what the humans call you, isn't it?"

He looked back at her and nodded. She was watching him carefully, her brow furrowed, more curious than anything else. She paused, and he watched her consider her next words.

"And I know that you're lonely," she said. "I know that you're hurting. You've lost your people."

"Thanks for the reminder." He looked away from her again and clenched his hands into fists against his thighs. His throat felt like it was closing up.

"Doctor," she said softly, "you can't hide behind your grief forever. You can't let that sadness and loss define you."

He said nothing.

"I lost my dad, when I was young. He was hit by a fisherman's boat, and he died. And he was all alone. So I know. I understand what it's like to lose your family. No one should have to experience that."

He realized, while she was speaking, that his hands had started shaking. He took a deep breath, his eyes screwed shut.

"It was my fault," he said. "All my fault. If you knew – if you knew what I'd done, Rose…"

"Doctor, doing a terrible thing doesn't make you a terrible person."

"It was awful. The war. It was going to destroy everything, the whole universe. And I – I ended it."

It was her turn to stay quiet. He couldn't look at her as he spoke.

"It was me," he choked out. "I killed them, Rose. I killed them all."

He heard her breath catch in her throat, and a tense silence settled over them. He buried his face in his hands, exhausted.

She would run, now. Dive back into the ocean and swim away as fast as she could. He should never have come back here.

"Oh, Doctor," she said. Her voice was thick. When he opened his eyes, he realized she was crying. "I'm so sorry."

"What?"

He watched her with increasing disbelief as she reached up to cup his face in her hands. He leaned into her touch, though he knew he shouldn't.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'm so sorry you had to do that."

"I've just told you I destroyed my own people."

She shook her head.

"It sounds to me like you're a good man who was forced to make an impossible decision."

"And my choice killed billions of people, Rose. All of them, gone. With the press of a button. I did that."

"But how many people did you save, Doctor?"

He stopped. Stared. She was still touching his face, and his hands moved up to cover hers.

"I…"

"You did it to protect us. The rest of us. And I'm so sorry that you had to give up your home to do that."

"How?" he asked, the question barely more than a whisper. "How are you not…afraid of me? Disgusted? Horrified?"

"You're not a bad man, Doctor. I've known bad people, and you're not one of them. A bad man would never have come back, or given me flowers, or told me stories. Okay?"

"I…okay," he said, and she smiled, seemingly satisfied with his answer. She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, the same way she had all those weeks ago, and his hearts stuttered in his chest.

He reached for her hand then, and she entwined their fingers.

"Will you tell me more? About the planets you visited?" she asked, looking out over the water. He smiled. Nodded. Squeezed her hand, hoping she knew how grateful he was that she was there with him.

He stayed with her until sunset.