Dean's POV


Whats wrong with me? I'm so confused. It all started with a dream. Then all these feelings came. I don't want all these feelings to be here. Its just getting worse. I need to stop them.

Its not right. He's an angel for pete's sake. I shouldn't have any of these feelings for him. I don't like men. Hell i run after anything that's wearing a skirt but I'm having these weird

feelings that I can't control. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want him to leave me but that's what is going to happen when he knows that I have unnatural feelings for him.

I'm so scared I'm going to lose him. But it is going to happen so why wait any longer why not get it over with. That's why I'm so ugly to him I just want him to leave already. I'm

breaking a little ever time I see him. It's only a matter of time before I break I just hope nobody is going to be there to see it happen. I know me and Can have a bond stronger than

anything I have ever felt. Ever since I found his hand print on my arm we've been connected. Hell maybe I have been feeling these feelings all this time and not known until that

dream. I feel like I am going to break into tears ever time something doesn't go right. but I will keep it bottled up inside because nobody cares to listen. I'm just so disgusted with myself. I just need him to leave already so I don't break. One thing I do know is that I can't talk to Cash is already asking me questions. Maybe I need to be uglier to him to

make him leave. I don't know. I'm so tired. I'm tired of this life, of these feelings. I'm tired of always keeping Sam floating. I'm drowning and nobody knows it but me. why should I

care that the end of the world is coming? I shouldn't because I already made reservations to spend the rest of my life in hell alone being tortured over and over again. So why

should I care if the world ends. But hear I am trying to save it. Trying to win a never ending battle. I guess I'm just doing it for Cash now. Cash has been risking his life for us all this

time to save the world for me. I need to return the favor and save it for myself now too or at least for him. I don't know what to do. I think I might be falling for him.