Uhh..Warning. This chapter has mild language. Just thought you might like to know. And it's going to be crazy. Really crazy.
Chapter Two: The Temple of Martel
"Hey, hey, guys!" Colette said.
"Yeah?" Lloyd and Genis both asked at the same time.
"Wanna heara joke?" Colette asked.
"Hells yeah!" they both said.
"The pastor is DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Colette fell to the ground and began to laugh maniacally. Neither Lloyd or Genis laughed, because they weren't evil people like Colette.
"I LIKEZ PEANUT BUTTER!" Genis said, and began to eat peanut butter. Like a lot of it. He shoveled it down by the truckload into his mouth. "Peanut butter says Lloyd and Colette will meet their untimely demies..all hail the peanut butter."
"What the hell is he talking about?" Lloyd said. Being the bored weirdo he is, Lloyd pulled at a Sudoku book and began to do it.
"Lloyd, the peanut butter says you're doing it wrong!" Genis said, while holding his jar of peanut butter like it was the Holy Grail.
"Why is that?" Lloyd said, slightly annoyed as he continued to scribble in his sudoku book.
"Because you're supposed to write numbers, not letters," Genis said. "The peanut butter says you are a dumbass."
"I'LL KILL THE PEANUT BUTTER!" Lloyd screamed and yanked the jar out of Genis's hands. He smashed it against the ground and began to stomp on it like some kind of maniac. "YEAAAAA! YEAAA! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW FOO'? CAN'T TOUCH THIS! BA NA NA NA BAAAAAAAAH NAH CAN'T TOUCH THIS F(BEEP) YEAH!" He made a very rude gesture with both of his hands at Genis.
Genis began to cry. "WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!" He jumped off a cliff and committed suicide. Man, that kid had some personal problems. But then again, Lloyd did go overboard.
"Alright, now that the brat is out of the way, let's go up there to see what is goin' on," Colette said. As they walked up to the temple, she made sure to kick several puppies along the way, piledrive innocent pedestrians, and of course, jaywalk on every street.
As they neared the temple, Lloyd began to complain. "This freakin' walk is taking forever." He angrily flipped off some random guy that was walking by. The guy hid his head into the newspaper, and began to sob as he ran home.
"Hey, don't act like you're the only one with problems," Colette groaned. "I'm missing High School Musical tonight!" She began to cry softly.
"SCREW that movie!" Lloyd screamed, and got really angry. "I HATE IT! With all the stupid dancing and singing and all of that crap! I HATE it!"
"FINE! You know what?" Colette said as she put on her costume. She began to dance and sang, 'Getcha Head in The Game'.
"NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't stand this song!" Lloyd screamed as he jumped off another conveniently placed cliff and committed suicide.
"Oh yeah! Alright! I'm da best!" Colette said as she reached the Martel Temple.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey there.." Botta said. "Sup dude?"
"What?" Colette asked, very confused.
"Oh shoot, you're not Yuan!" Botta cursed under his breath. "Chosen, you will die now!"
"But WHY!" Colette asked.
"We do not want the Towerof Salvation to get refurnished! We like the wallpaper the way it IS, thank you very much!" Botta said angrily as the other Renegades agreed saying stuff like 'Yeah Botta', or 'Fight the power!' and other lame hippie phrases.
A mysterious tall dude with messy auburn hair came up dragging Lloyd and Genis. "Chosen," was all he said.
"LLOYD! GENIS! YOU SAVED THEM! How!" Colette inquired in wonder.
"Silly Chosen," Kratos said. "I always save people from their cheesy death situations."
"Oh yeah," Colette remembered. "Like on the way to fight Yggdrasill-"
"Shut up, stupid girl," Kratos said. "The readers shall not know this yet!"
"Oh yeah," Colette remembered. Dejavu.
"Enough of nearly letting the readers in on untold secrets!" Botta screamed. "Now we fight! And by we, I mean this freakishly large guy with a huge deadly mace!" He sat down and pulled out several dozen boxes of Krispy Kreme, and put on a Number 1 finger which said 'Go Renegades!'.
End Chapter Two
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