A/N: Uhm…wow…I am absolutely humbled by the overwhelming response to this story, 40 reviews since I posted, I don't know what to say except thank you for the kind words and encouragement. I'm glad it touched you as it has me and I can only hope to do it justice. I will absolutely continue this story. As I've said, it won't be long but it will hopefully be worth it.

Two days had passed since the shooting and Maura had not left Jane's side for any of those two days, chronicling what had happened between them, it helped her to write their story down. The circumstances they had met over were comical at best.

Smiling, she looked at Jane's peaceful countenance and remembered the sass and attitude of their first meeting when a hooker/undercover officer named Jane Rizzoli had first met Maura Isles. Oh what a meeting that was. Maura had been so concerned about the poor working woman who couldn't pay for her coffee with Stanley that she had offered her some money, only to be turned down, rather rudely by Jane. With no ID how was Maura to know she was a cop? Even then Jane had expected some clairvoyance from her.

Sighing deeply she looked out the window, it was a beautiful day. The kind of day they would normally have gone for a run or just sat at a park bench watching Joe Friday run around, but not today.

Looking down at her journal she opened it up and touched the pages, their life was here. How they met, how they had become colleagues and then friends, how their friendship had flourished beyond any friendship either of them had ever had. They were opposites in every sense and yet they complimented each other, Yin and Yang, endless.

Maura had come to suspect her feelings for Jane after the murder outside Merch. Watching her meet all those women had given rise to feelings she had been unsure of, and she had dismissed them as part of being caught in the moment. The flair of jealousy when Jane had brought her own neck to be swabbed for DNA, had made her angry, not at Jane, but at herself, for feeling anything but friendship. She didn't want to scare Jane away and she knew Jane wasn't into women. It was the shooting at the precinct that had solidified what she felt for Jane. She knew in the instant that Jane pulled the trigger that she couldn't live without her. She loved her; Maura Isles loved her best friend Jane Rizzoli, and never said a word. True their playful banter with each other became more frequent but Maura knew she couldn't act on it. Her one same-sex sexual encounter in Europe had been an eye opening experience and she knew that being with Jane, loving her in every way would be even more so. But she stayed silent, waiting.

Wiping away a tear that had escaped, she pulled out Jane's letter again. She had told Korsak that Jane said she loved her but it was so much more than that, so much. Pulling the letter out of the blood stained envelope she kissed it gently before reading it again. Jane who usually put her foot in her mouth when they talked was positively eloquent in her letter.

Dear Maura

I don't know what to say to you right now, the look on your face when you yelled at me broke my heart. I actually felt it break as I realized the pain my actions had caused you. I never ever thought I would be the cause of pain for you. Laughter, frustration, joy, love, those are the things I want to be the cause of, never pain or anger or sorrow.

Laughter because of the dumb stuff I do that makes you laugh at me all the time. Your eyes laugh even when you don't laugh out loud. I love that, that twinkle you get as you try to keep a straight face but inside you're laughing. I know you, I see you and I know who you are.

Frustration when I act like I don't know what you're talking about when you start reciting the google or encyclopedic definition of something we're talking about, when I really do. Remember, Tommy's not the only Rizzoli with a beautiful mind. I just like to hear you talk, anytime, about anything. It's like music to me Maura. I hear your voice and I'm home.

Joy when I know you've been working late and your face lights up when I bring you your favorite latte. The joy in your face when I agreed to do that marathon with you, and yoga, and pilates and the mudbath at the spa. You may not have figured it out yet, but I would do anything for you, anything at all to bring you joy.

Love. We've never really discussed love have we Maura? We've said we love being best friends or LLBFFs if you will, since you came up with that, but love….gah!

I can't believe I'm writing this but wow, the L word (no pun intended) I know old joke still, I can't say it any more simply than this, so here goes.

I love you Maura Isles, with all that I am and ever will be. I love you.

There I said it, whew…

Confession time. I've had strong feelings for you for some time, but I was scared and unsure. Yes big bad Detective Rizzoli was scared of what she might be feeling for another woman. I wasn't sure what it was for sure that I felt blossoming, so I put those feelings aside somewhat. It all came to bear though when Doyle kidnapped you. God I was frantic Maura, thinking I might never see you or hear you again. When he called I would have given anything to get you back, I would have lain down my life for you Maura with no regret except for one. Never telling you how I felt about you. Never telling you that I had fallen in love with you.

After the shooting at the precinct, things changed between us. I know I scared a lot of people, hell to be honest I scared the hell out of myself, but all I could think about were you and Frankie that day. When I took that shot Maura, it was you I was thinking about, you I regretted leaving, you who would be alone. But I had to and I've never told you how sorry I was for putting you through all that. I know you were the first one there Maura I heard you, and if I had died then, I would've died happy knowing yours was the last voice I heard. We've been closer since then and still I couldn't bring myself to tell you how I felt. I chickened out on so many occasions Maura I figured there would always be time. I've teased you…you've teased back but I never knew if you felt what I felt. I hoped you did and I hoped to one day tell you the truth. In my mind I had it all planned out. We would be at your place after a difficult case and somehow, I would find a way to touch you, to make you look me in the eyes. You would smile because its what you do when I look at you and I would finally have the courage to say three little words.

Instead, what have I done? I've made you hate me, the look in your eyes that day told me so much, the sound of your voice as you screamed at me. All of the things I never wanted to cause you, I did, with one act. I'm sorry Maura, so sorry that I caused you pain. I would take that on myself to spare you that. I betrayed your trust by telling someone I thought would keep mine. I know that and I can't tell you how sorry I am Maura.

When I started writing this letter I was just going to say that I was sorry and that I loved you but somewhere it took on a life of its own. I needed to talk to you without putting my foot in it. You just…God you make me so crazy sometimes that I say the wrong thing and immediately know I did, but the damage is done. Writing this way, I can put what I feel on paper and hopefully for once express myself the way you deserve. I hope one day you let me give you this letter. I hope one day we can at least be friends again. I won't love again Maura because loving you and losing you hurt too much this time around and I wasn't even able to voice it. I should probably take that part out but right now I'm just letting the words flow from my broken heart.

Only you can mend it Maura. Only you can make it beat again. Only you can make it whole again. I'll be sorry about the pain I caused you till the day I die Maura I just hope that one day you let me tell you that I love you. Because guess what?

I do so very much, love you.

Yours forever,

Jane

Maura wiped the tears slowly streaming down her face as she reread the letter for what was probably the thirtieth time. She could almost hear Jane's voice reciting the letter in her head. Closing her eyes she sighed deeply and opened them again as the sounds and the reality of where she was broke through her calm. Putting the letter back in its envelope, she put it inside her journal and laid it down as she stood up. Looking at the time she knew Angela would be in soon and she wanted her moment with Jane again. Several times a day she would talk directly to Jane. Her own letter as it were, hoping, praying that Jane would hear her.

The doctors had said it was a miracle she was even alive given the location of the bullet and that she had stopped breathing at the scene. But the bullet had in fact been removed successfully once they realized that it hadn't penetrated her brain, but the resulting trauma and swelling had them concerned. Putting her in a medically induced coma was supposed to help since it slowed brain activity, but Maura knew Jane could hear her. There were documented instances of coma patients hearing their loved ones. The next twenty-four hours she knew would be the most critical.

Slowly as she had for the past two days, Maura spoke to her, telling her she had read the letter, telling her how sorry she was that she let pride get in the way of forgiveness. She told Jane how she had forgiven the act as soon as she saw the wounded look on her face but she couldn't face her. She was hurt, betrayed and she loved her as well, but she couldn't go through something like that again, so she chose to end their friendship, cut her off. Maura told her how she would replay the messages Jane left just to hear her voice and how she knew Jane was drinking heavily but her pride, her stupid wounded pride wouldn't let her bend until that morning two days ago. Against her better judgment she agreed to meet her. Her mind had told her no, but her heart had insisted on yes. So she went.

Maura cried as she remembered that moment. The sound of the gunshots echoed in her ears even now and she stopped and leaned close to Jane to whisper, "I love you too."

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