Gremlin the Pugly

Gail had no idea how she'd gotten to this point, but she blamed Holly for it. There was no other explanation for how she went from cold bitch from hell to people dumping stupid dogs on her. A dog! And not even a badass breed like a Rottweiler or a Doberman, but one of those tiny, ugly little beasts that prissy socialites carried around in their purses or something.

["He's a pug, Gail," Holly had explained, cheerfully ignoring the blonde's baleful glare. "It's not a 'prissy' breed at all, certainly not yappy. You're not going to lose badass points for looking after him for a couple of days until we find him a home."

"But why me? I'm injured! I don't like dogs!" Gail pouted – she wasn't above emotional blackmail, after all. After sustaining a bad sprain on her ankle chasing while a suspect, she'd wanted a little TLC, not a stupid dog.

"Because you have the weekend off and I leave for the conference in Vancouver in two hours."

"What about-"

"And all your friends are cops, none of them have the time to look after him," Holly pointed out reasonably. "Look at him, honey, he's injured too," she motioned to his bandaged front paw.

On cue, the little interloper let out a pathetic whine. Gail narrowed her eyes, not buying the woe-is-me act for a second. Those watery brown eyes were way too cunning.

"Come on, baby, it's just for a few days," Holly cajoled. "I'll make it worth your while," she added with a seductive smirk that sent a shiver down Gail's spine.

Damn it, she was sold.

"Fine," Gail huffed.]

So now she was saddled with the ugly little thing, whom she'd aptly named Gremlin, much to Holly's chagrin. If the little beast was going to be forced on her, she'd damn well name him whatever she wanted. Plus, the name was a perfect fit, especially after the disastrous attempt at a bath and his tendency to eat and destroy everything in sight.

Okay, so he only destroyed her Xbox's controller, but that shit was expensive!

"Let's lay some ground rules, shall we?" She started, picking up the destructive little pooch and holding him at eye level. "I don't like you, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, so it's in our best interests to make this as painless as possible, right?"

Gremlin whined, attempting to lick at her nose. Making a disgusted face, Gail held him at arm's length.

"Yeah, no, that's one! No licking! No licking, no drooling, no chewing, no destroying, no parking your germ-infested little butt on my furniture and absolutely, no way, no how, are you sleeping in my bed, got it?" Gail laid down the rules, making sure to keep eye contact with small dog. You had to show who's boss with these beasts, right?

Gremlin, naturally, took to the rules like a fish took to competitive ice skating. Gail spent the entire day chasing after the little dog – or wobbling after him, rather – as it wreaked havoc in the apartment she shared with Holly, who after all of this was going to sleep on the couch forever. For a week. Maybe.

"Off the couch!"

"Give me that shoe!"

"Hey, come back here, damn it!"

Steven, the stupid jerk-face, had been no help at all. Play with him, he said. Try to bond, he said. As if! Gail Peck did not do sappy bonding crap, certainly not with an ugly mutt. All the ridiculous little thing did was make a mess and eat. She couldn't even have her Chinese in peace without Gremlin whining, begging for scraps.

All right, so she'd probably beg for scraps too if all she had to eat was that disgusting-smelling excuse for dog food Holly bought for him.

"Fine, here," Gail growled, feeding him a piece of meat from her chow mien. "Stop being so undignified. Pecks don't beg, you know? You're a Peck, at least temporarily, so show some self-respect."

Gremlin looked at her with big brown eyes, pink tongue lolling out as he panted happily.

"Yeah, I'm sure you know a lot about poise and elegance," Gail rolled her eyes. "Elaine would have a field day with you," she snorted. "That would be a meeting to remember, I'm sure. Maybe I'll bring you to the next family dinner."

At the word 'dinner', Gremlin perked up, raising himself on his forelegs to place his front paws against Gail's knees.

"Hungry little beast," Gail huffed, but fed him another piece of meat.

Somehow Gail ended up feeding Gremlin most of the meat on the take-out container, but at least she got him to stop whining. Progress, right? She even managed to walk him without triggering the Apocalypse, which lulled Gail into a false sense of security.

The next hurdle came when she tried to watch TV. After zapping through a few channels, Gail settled on something with lots of shooting and explosions. Not twenty seconds in, the whining started again.

"What?"

More whining. Gritting her teeth, Gail tried to focus on the movie. A nice, high-speed chase was just what the doctor ordered. For a couple of minutes, it worked. Then Gremlin decided on a new tactic and jumped on the couch.

"No!" Gail snapped, trying to push him off to no avail. The pooch was practically on her lap. "Get down, you stubborn… little…"

Whining and more whining. Gail picked him up and set him on the floor, only to have him jump right back. Rinse and repeat. This went on for nearly five minutes.

"Goddamn it, what? You don't like the movie or what?"

That got her a bark. Gail paused, shooting him an incredulous look.

"Seriously?" Gail glared.

Gremlin barked. Groaning, Gail decided to give it a try. She just wanted some peace and quiet. Grabbing the remote, she changed channels.

The X-Factor – whine.

The Kardashians – whine.

Some weird reality with women in funky dresses yelling at each other – whine.

The Animal Planet – silence.

"What?" Gail's eyebrows almost hit her hairline as she looked between the TV and the now happy and quiet pooch. "Really? You want to watch a documentary about whales?"

In lieu of an answer, Gremlin laid down next to Gail, resting his head on her thigh. Gail's eyebrow twitched and she thought about pushing him off the couch again. In the end, decided the blessed silence was worth a stupid documentary and a little, ugh, drool on her sweatpants.

"I hate you."