~Chapter 2-Each Scar is a battle you have lost with yourself~
"Just try and get me, Sans!" Frisk giggled as he ran away from the skeleton.
Sans was wearing a smirk as he was chasing after the small human. "I'm gonna catch ya kiddo!"
"Yeah right!" Frisk laughed. He looked back over his shoulder, but frowned as he saw Sans was no longer chasing him.
The boy came to a stop. "Sans?" he called out with a perplexed frown. No answer. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Sa-oof!"
Frisk fell to the ground as a hooded skeleton tackled him. Sans pulled his hood down and grinned. "Told ya I'd get ya, kiddo!"
Frisk giggled as Sans tickled him before laying down in the grass beside him.
Abruptly, Frisk's grin dropped. "S-Sans...?"
Said skeleton looked at him. "Yeah, kiddo?"
Frisk's next question caught him off guard. "Do you think...do you think I'm a good person?"
Sans gave him a bemused look. "What? What're ya talkin' 'bout, kid? 'Course I think yer a good person! Yer funny, smart, kind, cheerful, sweet, selfless and you have so many other admirable aspects. What would make ya think otherwise?"
Frisk avoided his gaze as he shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think good people do bad things...?"
"good people do bad things sometimes," Sans agreed bluntly. "Most times they're by accident. Mistakes really."
Frisk felt tears burning in his warm brown eyes. "Do you think all bad things can be forgiven?"
"Depends on how bad they are."
"What if they're really bad?"
"Like?"
Frisk hesitated, then shook his head. "Let's just say somebody did something really bad to you, Papyrus and out friends. Like...that person killed them repeatedly." Sans' eyes widened. "but that person truly is a good person. It's not really them doing it. It's someone else..." he trailed off, unsure of how to explain it.
Sans looked at him for a few more moments before looking away. "...You got me there kiddo. Honestly, I dunno if it would be forgivable or not. I mean, if they're truly a good person, they wouldn't do it in the first place."
Frisk cringed. He knew that would be his answer. Dread filled his gut. Even more tears burned in his eyes.
Sans frowned, brushing his hair out of his face. "What brought this on anyway, kid?"
Tears began rolling down Frisk's cheeks, causing Sans to give an alarmed look. "Whoa kiddo, you okay?"
No I'm not. I'm so scared Sans, please help me...
"Frisk, talk to me. What's wrong?"
I don't know anymore...Everything's wrong Sans...
Sans wiped some of his tears away before hugging him and holding him on his lap. "C'mon kiddo, talk to me. I'm here."
Please don't leave...
Frisk buried his face in Sans' hoodie and sobbed softly.
I don't know what to do anymore...
"Don't leave me..." Frisk bawled, shaking. "Please don't leave me Sans..."
I'm so sorry...
Sans rubbed Frisk's back. "I would never leave ya, kid."
This is all my fault..I hate myself...
"Please don't hate me.."
I feel weak...I should've been stronger...
"I could never hate ya."
But I wasn't.
"Wanna talk 'bout it?" Sans asked quietly, ruffling Frisk's hair. Frisk shook his head, sobbing harder. "Okay. Shh...it's alright, kid. I'm here..."
"I'm... *hic* s-sorry..."
"Shh...there's nothing ta be sorry for...it's okay, shh..."
Because of my mistakes...
They stayed that way, neither bothering to escape the embrace even when Frisk's sobbing ceased, Sans still holding him tightly and stroking his hair.
You had to pay the price.
Frisk stood in front of Sans in Judgement Hall, eyes blood red. Except it wasn't truly Frisk. It was Chara, wearing her usual malevolent, cheeky smirk.
Frisk was forced to watch in the sidelines in horror. There was nothing he could do. /Chara please,/ Frisk thought to his counterpart. /Not him. Please. Don't hurt him..please don't hurt him../
Chara merely rolled her eyes apathetically. It was no use. /Shush Frisk./ She demanded. /This idiot's had his chance to back off, yet he didn't./
/You killed his brother and our friends!/
Chara giggled. /Uh...no/ She smirked manipulatively at him. /You killed his brother and your friends./
She giggled some more as Frisk looked down dejectedly in sorrow and defeat. /Now as I said, shut up./ She laughed maliciously, smirking at Sans. /You're about to see what happens when guys like him mess with people like me./
Frisk watched fearfully as they engaged in battle. There was truly absolutely nothing he could do but watch in terror. The oly thoughts rushing through his mind were how weak he had been at stopping Chara. He had failed. Now Sans and the others would pay the price.
This was all his fault. If only he had been stronger. Maybe things wouldn't be like how they are now. He would be with Sans at Grillby's, eating delicious meals and laughing at Sans' puns and attempts to get him to pay.
Frisk was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a choking sound. His eyes widened in horror the minute he realized that Chara had stabbed her knife deep in Sans' chest.
Sans spit up some more blood. He looked up at him with an absolute look of pain, hurt, angst and most importantly betrayal.
No...
"So.." Sans coughed, grin painfully forced. "That's it, huh?"
Tears filled Frisk's eyes. No No No...
Sans threw his hands up nonchalantly. "Welp. Don't say I didn't warn ya."
Sans then fell to the ground, taking his last breath in the process.
NO!
Chara's knife dropped to the ground and her eyes turned from carmine to soft brown as Frisk took control, running over to Sans. "Sans please wake up..." Frisk sobbed into his bloodied chest, clenching at his crimson stained shirt. "Don't leave me alone, please...I'm so scared...Sans wake up..." he sobbed harder. "Don't leave me too...please come back...please!"
A scream escaped Frisk's throat as he shot up in his bed, drenched in sweat. Tears were rolling down his cheeks rapidly. The petite child wiped them away with a small sniffle as he looked around at his surroundings.
He wasn't at the Judgement hall, standing in front of Sans, instead at home in his room at Toriel's. Relief and pain flooded him at the same time as he buried his face in his hands, sobbing.
/Tsk. Pathetic./ Chara thought to Frisk with a roll of her eyes. /Y'know Frisk, I've never seen a guy cry over another guy who hates him before. This is a first./
"Shut up Chara!" Frisk sniffled, wiping away his tears. "Leave me alone and get out of my head!"
"I would but I'm having too much fun." Chara giggled softly. "Sorry Frisk, but seeing your friends and that smiley trashbag go through hell...and torturing you...I'm enjoying this too much! 'Specially if it's not technically me, it's you doing it." she said with a smug grin.
Chara watched apathetically as another sob escaped Frisk. He sniffed. "whatever. It doesn't matter. Either way, you're not really wrong. Sans hates me no matter what I do, and for a valid reason too. My friends can't remember, I never do anything right, and on top of that I'm a complete waste of space because I can't find a way to end the damn loops! And I sincerely doubt you would want to, or have anything to say to object to that."
"Probably not," Chara hummed nonchalantly.
It was silent for a few minutes. "..But I do have a solution."
Frisk hesitantly looked up at her. "What's that?" he questioned suspiciously.
"Why not kill yourself?" Chara suggested; Frisk's eyes widened. "I mean, it's a win win. You won't have to go through hell anymore trying to save the monsters when you know you can't no matter how hard you try, Sans won't have to deal with you anymore, and you won't be a huge disappointment to your friends, considering it's your fault in the first place, and most of all you won't have to put up with me breathing on your neck."
Frisk narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to yell at her that it sounded ridiculous, but no sound came out and he shut it, because it wasn't. What Chara was suggesting was the simplest, easiest way.
Chara narrowed her own as she leaned closer to him. "Why do you think the kids before you died, Frisk? Because they kept on pushing theirselves to do something they couldn't do, and so they died. Just give up. It's not worth it. It's not worth risking everything. I never truly understood that about you. Willing to risk everything, including your life just for a few freaks." She paused, "..Besides, do you truly believe they love you? They don't, Frisk. It's just an act they put on to make themselves look good. They're all lies. Sans hates you, you killed his brother. You're nothing but a nuscience that makes his life complete hell. You keep on failing everyone, including your mom. What's the point of even going on? 'Cause what I'm telling you is the full on truth." She finished.
Frisk avoided her gaze, fresh tears sparkling in his eyes. She was right. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. What was he even doing here?
The child said nothing, merely turned away from Chara and laid back down.
Chara smirked softly and whispered in his ear, "Just think about it, okay?" she then disappeared into the depths of his mind.
A few hours passed without slumber. Frisk looked at the clock that read 1:05 a.m. Finally, Chara's words and his violent thoughts got the best of him, winning over logic and common sense. He sighed as he sat up. /Chara?/ he thought softly. /You awake?/
A few minutes went by, and Frisk thought she was asleep until she answered. /You called?/
/You were right Chara,/ Frisk thought dejectedly. /I'm nothing but a waste of space. What do I do?/
Chara appeared in front of him with a triumphant grin. "That's my boy," she giggled. "Okay. Listen carefully. Get out of bed and go downstairs. Mom always sleeps in her armchair, so you need to be very quiet. In the left drawer, she keeps a bunch of sharp knives. Grab one of them and come back here without getting caught."
Frsik frowned, perplexed. "But I thought I was killing myself?"
She smiled. "Gotta start from the bottom and work your way up. Trust me. Now hurry."
Frisk nodded and gradually climbed out of bed. He opened his door and crept down the stairs. The child quietly snuck past a sleeping Toriel and into the kitchen.
/Where do I look?/
/Try the left and right, bottom and top drawers. She usually always keeps them in one of those./
/Okay./ Frisk started in one of the drawers on the left. He frowned. Not in there. He went over to the other ones.
/Remember, be very quiet Frisk. Mom wakes at almost every little noise./
/I got it./ Frisk paused, /...Chara?/
/Yes Frisk?/
/You seem to know a lot about this./ He felt Chara freeze. /Have you done this before?/
/..I cut when I first fell down here,/ Chara confessed. /It was pretty frequent. I felt the same way you do right now, so I cut, and cut and cut. Mom caught me however, and I got in trouble. I'm the reason why the sharp knives were moved. Which is why it's crucial you don't get caught like I did./
Frisk nodded mutely as he continued searching. He held back a gasp, grinning when he found an extra sharp one. /I got it, Chara!/
/Nice job Frisk! Now hurry, head back to your room!/
Frisk didn't need to be told twice. He snuck by past Toriel again and was back in his room at record time.
/Remember to lock your door./
Frisk did as he was told. He went over and sat on his bed, putting the blade to his wrist. He paused hesitantly.
/What's wrong?/
/I'm a little nervous./ Frisk confessed sheepishly.
/Ah,/ Chara nodded. /I get it. Don't worry, I was scared my first time too. It's okay, just take your time./
Frisk inhaled and exhaled shakily. Slowly, he brought the blade down to his wrist and cut. He winced as a thin red line appeared and blood pooled from it, streaking his arm. /L-Like this, Chara?/
/Yes. Very good, Frisk. Go a little deeper./
Frisk nodded. He cut two more times, more deep this time. Thicker and darker blood appeared. Frisk let out a small cry of pain.
/It's alright. It takes a little while to get used to the pain. Now do your other arm./
The boy did so. Once he was done, there were six deep cuts, three on each arm.
Frisk abruptly felt sleepy. /Now what?/ he yawned.
/Now sleep. You're going to need it. But before you do so, I wanna offer you a deal./
/A...deal?/ Frisk slurred.
/Yes. If you go through with what we're doing, then I promise I won't hurt that smiley trashbag or any of your friends. However, if you break it, then I will crush you and everyone you love and drill you to the ground, and make you watch your loved ones go down first. Deal?/
Frisk swallowed gingerly. /...Deal./
Chara grinned. /Good. Now rest./
Frisk yawned again and laid down, sleep claiming him the minute his head hit the pillow.
"FRISK!"
When Frisk woke up the next morning, he felt sick. He groaned as he put a hand to his head. "Chara...?" he mumbled tiredly.
"Good morning, sunshine." Chara giggled with a grin.
"Is feeling like this the next day...normal?"
"You mean feeling like you're gonna pass out and puke at the same time?"
"Y-yeah.."
"Totally normal." Chara nodded. "Don't worry Frisk, you're doing great."
"FRISK!" The duo heard Toriel again call from downstairs.
"whoops! Mom's calling." Chara uttered before disappearing.
Frisk groaned again. When he stood, his whole world spun. Pushing back the urge to throw up due to the dizziness, he called back, "Yeah, Mom!?"
"Come down here please, my child!"
Frisk sighed softly. Why couldn't he just sleep for the rest of the day? Nevertheless, the boy pulled down his sleeves to cover the scars before exiting his room and walking downstairs.
Frisk looked at Toriel when he was halfway down. "Yes, Mom?"
Toriel turned to look at the child. "Good Morning, Frisk! You had a nice sleep, yes?"
"More or less." Frisk smiled sheepishly.
"Sans and the others are over this morning again. I just figure it's nice to have the extra company around!"
Frisk froze. He walked down a few more stairs and into the living room where he saw Alphys and Undyne smiling at him, but Sans giving him a fiery glare. He gulped and looked toward the kitchen where he saw Papyrus next to Toriel. Frisk approached him.
"..Hi, Papyrus.." he mumbled.
Said skeleton turned to face him. "GOOD MORNING, FRISK!" he greeted with his signature jovial grin. "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP ME WITH MAKING SOME MEALS?"
Frisk smiled softly. "Sure." he murmured.
"GREAT!" he handed Frisk a knife. "COULD YOU CUT THE TOMATOES FOR ME?" Frisk nodded. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Papyrus returned to what he was doing.
Frisk sighed once he saw Sans had turned his attention to Alphys and Undyne whom he was talking with. He looked back ahead and began slicing the tomatoes. He looked up at Papyrus. He sliced some more tomatoes before looking up at the skeleton again.
His eyes flickered red as violent thoughts flooded his mind. Just one stab...
Frisk's eyes turned red completely as he took his knife away from the cutting board and put it up to Papyrus. He put it closer and closer until it almost touched his back. The boy raised the knife.
However, before he could stab it through his back, Frisk took full control once again. His heart pounded as his eyes returned to his normal brown. Frisk felt his breathing quicken and his shaking hand caused his knife to clatter to the ground, grabbing everyone's, including Sans and Papyrus's attention.
"HUMAN?" Papyrus asked as he and Toriel gazed at the child with genuine concern whilst Alphys, Sans and Undyne looked confused and bewildered. "..ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK VERY PALE.."
Frisk didn't answer. Papyrus picked the knife up and tried to hand it to him. "YOU DROPPED YOUR KNIFE.."
All Frisk could see was Papyrus's blood on it. He shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. He shoved it away. "NO! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" he exclaimed.
"My child!?" Toriel exclaimed, very worried now.
"HUMAN," Papyrsus tried to hand him the knife again. "IT'S OKAY. I JUST-"
"I SAID NO!" Frisk yelled and slapped it to the ground out of Papyrus's hand.
"Fr-Frisk?" Alphys stuttered nervously.
"Kid, it's just a knife." Undyne stated.
"I DON'T CARE! JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!" Frisk exclaimed angrily.
"HUMAN, YOU'RE STARTING TO SCARE ME!" Papyrus exclaimed in return.
Frisk froze at Pap's fearful expression. He looked around at the others and felt tears streak his cheeks. "I-I'm sorry..." he swallowed. "I'm sorry...I-I have to go...!" he turned on his heel and ran upstairs.
"Fr-Frisk! W-Wait!" Alphys tried, but it was no use.
"What was that about?" Undyne questioned Sans.
"Dunno..." Sans muttered with narrowed eyes. "..But I already don't like it."
Frisk was sitting on his bed, face buried in his arms and legs pulled to his chest. /Chara!/ he thought scornfully. /I thought I told you not to get bloodthirsty, especially around the others and Papyrus!/
"Sorry," Chara hummed as she appeared in front of him and Frisk met her eyes. "I guess I just couldn't help myself. Suppose I need to work on it, huh?"
"You better." Frisk sobbed. "I don't need Sans hating me any more than he does now."
"Aw Frisk," Chara murmured and wiped away his tears. "Please don't cry. You're not very cute when you cry." She stated, cupping his cheek.
Frisk sniffled again and sighed, wiping away the rest of his tears as Chara pulled away.
"Atta boy," she giggled. "So..how're you feeling about this so far? Not gonna back out, are ya?"
"Of course not" Frisk frowned. "I can't risk the others getting hurt 'cause of me...again.."
Chara sighed, shaking her head. "Again..never will understand your selflessness." She quickly changed the subject. "Anyways, we need to continue. Now that you're at the bottom, it's time to start working your way to the top. We're talking suicide areas. Just one more night, and we'll be looking. You gotta look for somewhere nobody will guess to look, until it's too late that is."
"Will you help me?" Frisk asked.
Chara grinned. "But of course!"
