A/N: A short ficlet about Wish Hook reaching to rum for comfort after losing the only thing that mattered to him - his daughter. Angst per the day's theme.
Don't Let Me R[u]member
It seemed like rum was the only lasting relationship in his life. He'd first had a taste when he was at a young age–he'd grown up on a ship where booze was more treasured than food after all–and he'd quickly fell in love with it. Since then he'd had no qualms about indulging himself. He often got drunk in search of escape from the miserable reality he lived in. And in the rare moments when he was happy, he used rum to celebrate that happiness, many times causing himself to end up without any memory of it instead, the entire evening wiped away from his head and replaced by the pain of the hangover. But one thing didn't change. Rum was always there when he needed it and he reached for it quite often.
It was different now though. He could no longer get drunk. Because he was in a constant alcohol-induced haze. The moment he felt his mind clearing in the slightest, he just reached for the bottle of rum that was always nearby. He did not give a bloody damn about the damage it could do. The worst had already happened. The poison in his heart kept him from getting anywhere near his daughter. The only thing rum could do was ease his suffering.
Because it hurt like hell. He'd lost his brother, his hand and the woman he loved, and yet, none of that could compare to losing Alice. When he was able to form thoughts, they immediately took him to the tower where his starfish was trapped. She was missing on life, and he was missing on her life. He wouldn't witness her transformation into a beautiful woman. He wouldn't see her go on adventures and fall in love. And the worst thing was that he didn't know if she'd even get to do all of that because he'd failed her. He hadn't kept his promise. He hadn't freed her from the tower. It was his fault she was in there. He'd doomed her to a life of solitude and suffering. And for what? To protect his precious honor.
He had no honor left. He weakened his own mind as his body aged mercilessly and he turned into an old drunk. He drank until he forgot everything – even Alice's face which was a painful reminder that he'd failed her. Because even if he could see her now, she'd be changed, grown up and looking nothing like he remembered. And the thought that he'd already missed so much of her life and he'd keep missing it without being able to do anything about it made him want to throw himself in the sea. So he kept finding his way to the bottom of a bottle after bottle, drowning out any thought that could reopen the wound that losing Alice had left on his heart. It had broken him in a way that nothing else had managed to. He could no longer find it in himself to fight. He could only fall apart.
