Due to popular demand, here is Natsume's Point of View of the story. Don't hate him, people. There's always a reason behind every deed. I understand that most of you wanted me to kill him or something like that, anyway. ENJOY!
I enjoyed writing this with the help of Winter Sonata's theme: From The Beginning Until Now by Ryu.
It is when you know you've betrayed the one you love, and then you feel as though you need her more than anything else.
After what seems like six years, not having her beside me – let's just say, it made me feel empty inside. I was angry, yes at how my son had turned out but was it her fault? Was it right to put every blame onto my now no-longer wife? I would probably make it to the kind of guy that doesn't take care of his own family but instead, run away from his responsibility and the harsh reality.
I was mad when I found out Youchi was deaf and mute. I couldn't accept that. I wanted a perfect family. A man in love with his beautiful wife and both their love together produce another beautiful being. Was it a lot to ask for? Well, in truth, it does seem impossible to achieve considering my position now. I lost my wife because I couldn't accept the reality of our child. I lost the one I had loved for so many years and now, there is no turning back time.
I should never have lashed out at her regarding the disability of our son. I should never have said that it was her family that caused the disability. It hurt her, I knew that, but my ego was way too big and too huge to bear that I had to put the blame on someone and it only made sense when the blame was put upon her. Everything passed so fast after that – I wasn't thinking straight. I got to the lawyer to request for a divorce, breaking ties with both my love and our son.
When I got home after a month of avoiding the both of them, meaning to hand over the divorce contract and to take my leave from the house for good - forever, I saw her there, sitting with Youchi on a mat while he played with his toys. Her face devoid from real happiness but instead a fake smile was plastered on her lips so her son wouldn't feel sad. It had been proven before that kids can sense emotions the strongest. I thought to myself then, would I be happy if I was there playing with them on the mat like a happy family? The answer then was – no.
I felt no warmth or love for my wife when I saw her sad face then. I knew it was my fault that she was feeling that way. I didn't want an apology, I didn't want sympathy but all I wanted was to have my son have his voice and for him to be able to hear! But soon, I found living without her was painful. After I left the house, I rented an apartment near my working place. Going back to an empty apartment and only greeted by silence was painful. I wanted my wife back. There was no warm body to sleep beside me every night and to greet me with a kiss early in the morning. Nobody to wait for me as I return from work, and no one to embrace me after a tired day at work and to have a happy meal with him. 'You don't realize how much somebody means to you until they're gone'.
I went back to the house after six months only to find the house empty with nobody living there any longer. The gate was rusted, long grass full of weeds, wilted flowers, dirty pond and a home for pest. When I went into the house, I found that the door was left unlock and the key that belonged to my wife was left at the basket where we would usually put our house keys. Our pictures still lay there on the tables – dusty, and I knew then that my wife had left the house with our child. Left her memory of me, left her memory of us, it saddens me.
I was afraid to step into our bedroom, afraid that she might still be in the house, but it saddens me more to be greeted by nothing but dust. The bed looks as though it was never touched, the makeup kit she used to use was left there and the clothes and other apparels I got for her while we were together were left in the cupboard. Everything that would remind her of our relationship – she left it alone in the house which she abandoned. Might as well have burned the house down, I thought to myself.
Our son would be seven this year, but all these years, I had never wished him Happy Birthday nor have I ever bought him a gift like a father should. I didn't know what he likes and what he doesn't. I don't know where he's schooling and who his friends are. I don't even know where he's living with his mother. It was as if, I was never his father in the first place but some stranger that is somehow related to him by blood. It hurts. Did his wife feel this way when he left her?
Reminiscing this now is futile. Nothing can change the past. I could only hope for a better future. But why does God want to play with me? Why did He show me this sight right in front of my eyes: My wife one hand clasped around a small child - our son - and the other holding onto the hand of another man in a loving gesture? Could it be that she had found another man to replace me in her heart? Was it too late for me to earn back her love? Is six years, really that long?
MountainHive
