Chapter 2
The Doctor was in bed and Ace was sitting beside him, her chair up close to his bed as she kept a tight hold on his hand.
"I feel as if the last couple of hours have gone by too quickly."
He looked up at her as he rested against his pillows.
"Time has a way of doing that when you're having fun."
"That's not funny." Ace replied.
"I know," he replied with a sigh, "I wish it was, though."
And then pain registered on his face, and Ace swore she felt it too as the needle bit into a vein in his arm and Carla began to draw some blood.
"Are you okay?"
Ace sounded scared, and it showed in her eyes too, and that worried him greatly.
"It's only a blood sample. It stings. I can live with that."
Ace said nothing in reply as she kept a firm grip on his hand.
Carla drew out the needle and cleaned the puncture and gave it a short burst of sealing spray. The Doctor felt a slight burning sensation, but sealing a needle mark was not as painful as sealing his larger wounds.
"I need this blood sample to compare to later ones after the treatment has begun," Carla told him, "You need to get used to this – I'll have to take blood from you every forty-eight hours."
She left the room with the sample and Ace looked intently at him.
"Does it still hurt?"
"No!" he exclaimed, "I won't know what real pain is until she starts the anti toxin. Please stop this."
"Stop what?"
The look in his eyes intensified.
"Stop worrying about me, just stop it. I have enough to handle without worrying about your emotional stability. If you're hurting, so am I. I don't need to take that on. I don't need extra pain. If you can't cope, you shouldn't be here."
His words had stunned her.
"Professor, are you saying you want me to go?"
"No, I'm just saying I want you to cope with as much as you can handle, and no more. I can't bear to watch you weep, Ace."
She nodded slowly.
"I get what you mean. And I will be okay, I promise."
Then Carla returned and Ace felt a creeping sense of fear spreading slowly through her bones as she watched her begin to set up the formula via an intravenous line.
"So this is it?" he asked her.
Dr Bailey turned his arm over and ran a finger across skin bruised with needle marks left from previous blood tests as she sought out the right vein.
"Yes, this is the first part of the treatment. You'll have the first three drugs slowly introduced over the next forty-eight hours, after that we can begin the rest of the treatment. That's when it gets worse. You'll feel a mild burning sensation as the IV gets going, and then the pain will increase. I've added a sedative to help you sleep for a couple of hours, it's the best I can do for now – hold still."
The Doctor drew in a sharp breath as the needles hollow point pierced his flesh and entered a vein.
Ace swore every line on the Doctor's face had just deepened as pain registered on his face, and she swept a hand over his hair and kissed his cheek.
"It's going to be okay," she said softly, and then she got up and walked over to the window, turning her back as she wiped away tears she didn't want him to see.
Carla had finished setting up the line. The formula was slowly feeding into his bloodstream now, along with a sedative that made his eyes grow blinked as the room turned blurred and as his mind drifted, he wondered why he felt a creeping pain start to spread as if fire had just entered his bloodstream.
"It hurts…" he murmured, "Turn it off, Carla…. make it stop, please…I think I just changed my mind…I hate pain."
"It's the anti toxin," she reminded him, "I can't make it stop, you won't survive without it."
He focused on her face and smiled as she came into misty focus, and he thought how pretty she was with her soft features framed by her dark hair.
He recalled they had kissed once.
He wanted to kiss her again.
It was a thought that had crossed his mind before, but now he could see it clearly in his mind, the image of him holding her and their lips touching, and he knew the drugs were not helping his efforts to not think of her in that way, but he was floating just above a river of fire and she was holding him there, just out of reach of the flames.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"What for?" she asked.
"For not giving up. For keeping me alive…"
"Don't thank me yet, Doctor," she told him, "You've got a hard fight ahead of you."
He gave a sigh.
"I know that. Just wake me up when it's over."
Then his eyes grew heavy once more and he slipped into a heavy sleep.
Ace had turned back to his bedside, and she took hold of his hand once more, even though he had now slipped into a drug induced slumber.
"Do you think he meant that? He said he wanted you to stop."
"It's just the medication," Carla replied, "It's making him ramble. I can't keep him sedated for long, this is just to keep him rested and save his strength."
And then she began to take wires from the machinery beside the bed and hook him up to monitors.
Ace watched as he slept on, breathing deeply, oblivious to the powerful medication that was being fed into his body.
"When he wakes, he will be in a considerable discomfort," Carla told her as she switched on the final monitor, "Expect him to be shivering, feeling cold – probably sick, too. The main problem will be the pain. He's going to feel that deeply for the next couple of days. But once the dose is completed and line comes out, he will start to feel stronger."
"So he will be over the worst of it?"
Ace had sounded desperate for that promise, and Carla gave a sigh as she shook her head.
"I did briefly cover this with both of you before – no Ace, he then has to undergo two weeks of intravenous treatment to deliver the rest of the formula. It's going to make him very ill. He's going to be vomiting, losing weight, there's a risk of a strain on his hearts – it's going to be very tough. I'm pumping his body with poison to destroy a poison. He might also develop skin irritation, I'm hoping the anti toxin will start to reduce the poison by then, so the wounds and the skin problems will be able to heal. If he can get his ability to heal back, that's a huge step forward, and then I can take the implants out. The aim is to get the toxin levels down below thirty percent, and then he can get on with life and be free of pain and all the other problems – until the levels rise again. I don't know how long that will take, it could be a month or it could be a year. There's no way of knowing in advance."
"And then what?" Ace asked quietly.
"And then he has to do this all over gain to buy some more time," Carla replied, "Those electrical implants won't last much longer, they will fail soon. This treatment is his only hope in absence of an antidote."
Ace looked down at her Professor and her eyes stung with tears. She remembered he didn't want her to cry and managed to hold it back.
"How long will he be asleep?"
"At least a couple of hours. Expect him to be a bit hazy when he wakes – that's the drugs. He's going to be a bit cloudy in his thinking until this treatment is over."
Ace nodded.
"I'm not surprised," she said, and she reached out and gently ran her fingers through his hair, stroking the soft dark curls at the back of his neck as he slept on.
"He looks so peaceful. I wish he didn't have to suffer when he wakes up."
Her gaze was focussed on the Doctor as she continued to use every ounce of determination not to cry.
"But you can give him something for the pain once you know its working, right?"
"Yes," Carla replied, "As soon as I know it's working like it should I can start adding pain relief to the formula and that will make a huge difference to him."
Ace was still looking intently at him as she stroked his hair.
"That's good, I want him to stop hurting, I think that's the hardest part for me," she said quietly, "I love him. I don't want him to be in so much pain. I'd change places with him if I could, I'd spare him all of this."
Her voice sounded broken with grief.
"He's going to need a lot of help," Carla said gently, "He's going to be very weak. And expect him to sleep a lot, even when the treatment is over. And the second infusion of formula might make some of his hair fall out. It may or may not be noticeable. You might want to cut it for him before the second treatment, you will need to talk to him about that, see how he feels. And when he's well enough to leave he will still need your support. I'll have to teach you how to take blood for him and measure the toxin levels… Ace, did you hear what I said?"
She didn't look up at Carla as her eyes stung with tears that almost blinded her. She was still stroking his hair.
"I heard you…"
Then she got up and leaned over him, kissing his cheek as she whispered something to him that Carla didn't catch.
Then she blinked furiously, holding back her tears.
"I'll be back soon…I need some air…"
As she hurried from the room, Carla looked down at the sleeping Timelord and hoped Ace would be able to hold herself together, because soon the Doctor would need her - and she would be no support at all if she couldn't stay strong…
Lexi Dixon was relaxing in her private apartment across the other side of the first floor when she hear a beep from the communication device.
She smiled and rolled over without spilling her afternoon glass of wine and grabbed the remote control, eagerly switching on the screen as she sat on her bed.
"Afternoon greetings, my loved one!" said Venx, "I am cruising through deep space on autopilot."
And he smiled.
"I have a treat for you!"
She looked back at the screen excitedly.
"Do it!"
He began to remove his Sontaran uniform.
Lexi brought her hand to her mouth and bit on her knuckle.
"Do you have to take your time?"
He laughed softly.
"Patience, weak-willed human… a sight of fine Sontaran manhood awaits you!"
And then a second beep sounded.
She put down her wine glass heavily as a look of annoyance made the shine in her eyes vanish.
"Wait…I'll be two seconds…I've got another call coming in…"
She hit a button to minimise the screen and opened up a second channel.
"Yes?" she demanded sharply as she glared at a sales assistant from earth.
"This is complimentary call from Interspace Communications, do you have five minutes to take a survey regarding your rating of our network?"
"No!" she snapped, and switched off the channel sharply, then swore under her breath as she bumped her elbow against the bedside table and sent the wine glass toppling.
"I won't be a minute!" she called out, and left the screen on minimise as she got off the bed and grabbed a tissue to mop up the spill, then she snatched up the glass and hurried from the room, went into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
"Bloody hell!" she said loudly, seeing the empty space and recalling she had thrown away the finished wine bottle.
"Staff kitchen!" she then exclaimed, and dashed with the glass in her hand from her apartment, hit the call button and got into the lift.
Ace had hurried from the Doctor's room and broke into a run as she reached the corridor.
As she ran she sobbed, letting out so much pain it seemed as if she would never be able to stop weeping.
And then she was through the doors and out of the sick bay, running on down to the other end of the corridor, and straight through an open doorway.
It was then she finally came to a stop, drawing in a heavy breath as she wiped her reddened eyes.
Ace looked around and found herself in a smartly furnished apartment.
"Hello?" she said, walking through the front room and into a hallway.
"Hurry up!" called a male voice, "This is urgent!"
She frowned.
"Urgent?" she wondered, and then she recalled Lexi Dixon had claimed to be alone, and wondered who had just replied to her question. Her concern still rested with the Doctor, but she reasoned he would have investigated, and decided in his absence to save him the trouble.
She walked on down the hallway, heading for the room at the end where a bedroom door was ajar.
"Hello?" she called out again.
"I'm still here!" he exclaimed, "Hurry! This is rather spectacular!"
Ace had reached the door.
She placed her hand against it and pushed it open. A light was blinking on a darkened communications screen across the other side of the room. The system had a huge screen that dominated most of one wall, and a remote control was left in the middle of a double bed on top of neatly folded silken sheets.
"Hurry up!" the voice urged again, "I can't wait much longer!"
Ace reached for the remote control.
She saw the screen had been minimised, and hit a button to open it up.
The picture came through at once.
Ace stared at the screen.
Her jaw dropped around the same time the remote control hit the soft-carpeted floor.
"Behold the sight of your dreams!" exclaimed a naked Sontaran, "Feast your eyes on my fine Sontaran manhood – see how keenly it rises for you!"
And he grabbed his Sontaran manhood and waved it at the screen while smiling as excitement sparkled in his eyes.
Ace was still staring.
"Urgh!" she exclaimed in disgust, switching her gaze sharply back to his face.
Then the Sontaran blinked, and then his jaw dropped too.
"You are not my revolting human!" he snapped, "What have you done with Lexi?"
"Lexi?" Ace echoed, staring firmly at his face only as he grabbed his clothing and covered himself, "You and Lexi –"
"What are you doing in my bedroom?"
Ace turned sharply to see Lexi Dixon standing in the doorway glaring at her, a wine glass in one hand and a bottle in the other.
"I just walked in and…"
Lexi set the bottle and the glass down on a small table next to the door and walked into the room with anger glittering in her eyes.
"You wait there!" she said, jabbing an accusing finger at Ace, and then she turned back to the screen.
"I'm so sorry," she said, "She's one of the travellers! I have no idea how she got in!"
"I shall put my clothing back on," he told her angrily, "We shall discuss this later, my love!"
And then the screen fell dark.
Lexi turned back to Ace.
"You just ruined my whole afternoon!"
Ace stared at her.
"I ruined yours? I just saw a naked Sontaran and he waved his bits at me!"
Lexi's eyes narrowed.
"And you can keep your eyes off my gorgeous Sontaran!" she said fiercely, "He's all mine!"
"And you can keep him!" Ace exclaimed, "Really, you're welcome to him… and I'm married… happily, to the Doctor. And… I can't get the memory of that naked Sontaran out of my head – and not for the reason you think. That was the most horrible sight I've ever seen! Thanks a lot…. a Sontaran? A Sontaran that waves his…Oh no, that's too weird…"
Lexi's anger began to fade.
"Oh I see… you're one of those narrow minded people against inter-species relationships, are you?"
Ace stared at her again.
"No! But what do you want me to do, pretend I fancy him or be honest and say I think he's gross?"
"He's not gross, he's cute and special!"
Lexi had spoken defensively, and suddenly Ace found herself laughing.
"Look – it's your business. I'm not criticising your taste…I'm just saying, I've nothing against Sontarans. I just don't want to see them naked."
Lexi looked at her. Ace looked back at Lexi.
And then all hostility melted from Lexi's eyes.
"Have you been crying?"
The smile faded from her face as her thoughts turned back to the Doctor.
"My husband was poisoned by an old enemy," she told her, "He designed a toxin that was meant to kill him - but we met Clara Bailey – she's a specialist who can treat the poison. The problem is, she has to use poison to destroy poison. And I'm scared he's going to die. It's killing me, seeing him go through so much pain."
Ace was on the verge of tears again. Lexi made a decision to work on Venx, to persuade him not to kill the Doctor.
"I'm sorry about your husband," she said quietly, "I once lost someone I loved…he was killed in battle."
"Was he human?" Ace wondered.
"No, another Sontaran," she replied, but this time Ace did not want to laugh and make light of her preference as she caught a heavy shade of grief in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she told her.
"And I'm sorry the one you love is so ill. It would kill me if anything happened to Venx. Wait there, I won't be a minute."
And then Lexi left the room briefly, but returned moments later. She held up a second wine glass.
"Care to join me?" she offered, and Ace nodded, smiling as she looked at her with eyes red and sore from too much crying.
As the Doctor opened his eyes pain cut deeply through his body and he gave a groan.
"You're okay," he heard Carla say, "I know you're hurting. I'm sorry about that, but it wont hurt forever."
He felt cold and as he shivered and the ache in his body seemed to sink deep as bones.
"I want Ace…"
She took hold of his hand and he weakly clung on to her, looking at her through drugged eyes and suddenly feeling as if he never wanted to let go.
"Ace will be back soon. She's very worried about you; this is very hard on her too. She went out for a walk, she needed some air."
"I'll be okay if you stay with me…stay till she gets back."
"I won't be leaving you," she promised him, "I have to monitor you closely. And you can be sure I'll take care of you."
His vision was blurring. He blinked several times and smiled as her face came back into focus.
"If I'd met you first…" he murmured.
"Doctor?"
He closed his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.
"Forget it…I'm high…what have you put in that IV?"
"Extremely toxic drugs," she replied, "We have to fight the toxin with toxins. Fire with fire."
"Best way…" he whispered, and then he closed his eyes again and his grip on her hand slipped away.
She glanced up at the monitors and felt relieved that his vital signs were holding up well to the poison that was invading his already sick body.
Then she looked down at the Doctor and recalled what he had said to her:
If I had met you first…
She recalled the day he had kissed her, that kiss had come about because he had looked inside her mind and read her secret thoughts after asking what she would want to do if she had seconds left to live. Surviving the destruction of the Cassandra-Aurora still haunted her, and she was certain the guilt of living whilst all others perished would always remain heavy on her mind. But the thought burned bright that he had reminded her a common bond bound them:
Surviving.
She gently swept her hand over his hair and noticed he was breaking out in a cold sweat – something she had already predicted.
"I will take care of you," she said softly, "I won't let you die, Doctor…"
Ace was on her second glass of wine, sitting on a sofa in the front room of Lexi's apartment.
"…So what happened then?" Ace asked her. They had spent the past two hours talking, and Lexi had been surprisingly open about her exploits involving mainly small-scale fraud and a spell in prison.
"Then I met Venx," she said, "And the rest is history. We came up with a plan to rip off the environmental board and when this scam is over, that's the end – no more crime. Just me and Venx and a new life on a planet far away, somewhere a lot like this place, but hopefully where no one has ever heard of me. I just want a new start. No one has ever given me a real chance, I mean, loved me and cared about me – but Venx is different."
"Why is he different?" Ace asked her, "I thought all Sontarans were cloned? How can he be different to the others?"
"He was part of a clone batch that was tampered with by Rutan spies. Some of the batch was destroyed, deemed unfit to belong in the Sontaran empire. But Venx survived because he expressed a desire for a military career. He served in the army for a while and then gained permission to work as a pilot, ferrying batches of weapons to war zones. He expanded on the carrier ship business and eventually earned enough to leave and move to an independent shipping station where he had no pressure from Sontarans to fit in. He's just not warlike enough. He was created with a conscience and a deep ability to think independently and separate from the batch. When I say he's one in a million, I'm serious. He is, in every way. He comes across as typical Sontaran – until you get to know him."
"I wondered why he sounded so fond of you. I didn't think a Sontaran could feel that way about a human."
Lexi drained the last of her glass.
"Good thing he is different – he's the one for me. I could never go with a human male…they all look the same to me."
Ace looked at her in surprise.
"You think humans all look the same, and you go for a Sontaran, a cloned species?"
"I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's me. Do you want another drink?"
Ace shook her head.
"I can't. I have to get back to the Doctor, he should be waking up soon."
As she placed her glass on the table she pushed it away, setting a distance between her hand and the glass that had provided some warmth and a little strength. She had only had two glasses of wine, and she knew more would reduce her to a sobbing wreck – not that she was far off from going back to that anyway – and she wanted to be strong for the Doctor, even though she was certain she could never be strong enough to sit there and watch as he suffered, and feel no pain in her own heart.
She got up from the sofa.
"Thanks," she said, "For the wine and…everything, really. I needed to talk to someone."
Lexi got up too.
"I'll come with you," she said, "If you want some company."
"Thanks," Ace replied, "But I'll be okay. I just want to see him, I hate being away from him when he's so ill."
"I might stop by tomorrow," Lexi replied, and Ace smiled.
"It really has been nice to meet you properly."
"Makes a change for someone to say that!" Lexi exclaimed, and then Ace left the apartment, feeling warmer for the wine, but no more hopeful for the future as she headed back towards the corridor that led to the room where the Doctor lay sleeping as more poison was fed into his bloodstream.
As she reached his door, Ace hesitated.
She thought about all Carla had warned her to expect, and then she took in a deep breath, remembered it had been over two hours since she last cried, and concluded she had just set a new personal best in trying to stay strong.
Then she opened the door and went into the Doctors room.
Any kind of warmth and borrowed strength the drink had lent her vanished instantly.
"Professor?" she said in a worried tone as she hurried over to his bedside.
"He's responding exactly how I expected him to," Carla told her as she adjusted his IV line, "He's cold, shivering, keeps waking and complaining about the pain. It's to be expected. But the good news is, he's responding well to the treatment. His vital signs are strong and steady."
Ace stepped closer to the Doctor's bed. He was pale and shivering as sweat ran down his face. He drew in a slow breath and opened his eyes and looked at her for a few seconds before his vision cleared and he recognised her.
"Ace…" he whispered, "I've missed you, my darling…. come here…"
She grabbed his outstretched hand and it shuddered in her grip.
"I'm so cold, it hurts to my bones…"
Ace looked at the blankets on his bed and noticed the heating was turned up in this room, too.
"I can't warm you up," she said as she sat beside him, "It's the formula, it's making you feel cold."
"I wish I could regenerate," he said weakly as another shiver ran though his body, "I can't take much more of this."
And Ace blinked away tears as she looked up at Carla.
"You're killing him!" she tearfully, "He can't cope with much more of this! Give him something for the pain!"
Carla shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I can't give him any pain relief until I know if the dose is working. And I'm talking about the second dose. He has to stay like this tonight and all day tomorrow before I can take him off it for a short time. I told you this would be difficult for both of you."
Then she noticed the Doctor had slipped into a light sleep, and she lowered her voice as she spoke again.
"You have to stay strong for him, Ace. If you give up, he will give up too! You have to be strong, even if you feel like falling apart. I'll be back to check on him soon."
And then Carla left the room.
Ace kept a tight grip on the Doctor's hand as she watched him sleeping, and as she blinked, tears that refused to be held back ran down her face.
"I'm trying," she whispered, "I'm trying to be strong for you, Professor. But it's so difficult…I'm not sure I can do it…"
