Hello, dear readers! My regular workload is unusually high at the moment, and will remain so for the next six months, therefore updates will not be extremely frequent. My sincerest apologies. On that note, I really want to mention how happy I am with the response to the previous chapter. You guys are honestly so sweet you give me type II diabetes. Also, yes, I am the queen of unnecessary metaphors, but you didn't want to know that, did you? Let's continue on with the story! Also, one last thing before I leave you to your reading, I'd like to know if you want me to reply to your reviews in the next author's note. Some writers do so, some don't, but whether I do so or not is up to you. So leave a postscript if you desire a certain riposte. And that's all for now! See you on the other side, my people! Mwah. x
Plagg was a very laidback cat, don't get him wrong. However, certain situations called for a little bit of panicking. Not to say that he was panicking right that instant, don't be presumptuous.
Marinette still looked very confused. She hadn't stopped looking confused since that unoriginal akuma had shot her while defenseless. She didn't remember who he was, and that meant that he wouldn't be getting the cheese in her purse any time soon. God, the things he did for Tikki.
Suddenly, he squeaked as the hand holding him tightened into a slight fist. Marinette brought him up to eye level in an eerie reminder of a couple confusion-free minutes ago, and slowly raised an eyebrow. Morgana help him. He prayed to the lords of cheese that she may mistake him for a plush toy or-
"You're a kwami."
Wait, what?
She knew what he was. She didn't know who he was. Now, what was he supposed to do? Plagg was a cool cat. He was great at thinking on his feet. But before he could conjure up a plan, she spoke.
"You're Chat Noir's kwami."
…was déjà vu a thing now? He wondered, not for the first time, what exactly the Befuddler did. Wait. The Befuddler. Ah, the akuma had just confused Ladybug, not given her amnesia. Thank God. He had almost panicked, but thankfully saved himself the exertion, because there wasn't any camembert to cure his exhaustion if he'd had to exert himself.
Now to look for Tikki.
Adrien was stumped. The wheel of camembert had been sitting on his desk for the past hour, the runniness increasing worryingly by the minute. He was pretty sure the whole city could smell the stench by now. He half expected Nathalie to come rushing in and berate him for ruining the Agreste image by sending stench into the world, one camembert wheel at a time. Maybe she'd even kick him off model roster if she thought he had body odour. Wait, that could actually be a good idea. Maybe he was onto something. Unless…he was stopped from going to school ever again because if some paparazzi were to die of his alleged body odour, he'd ruin the Agreste family image and his father would be sent to jail and-
Gah. He was definitely getting ahead of himself. Where on earth was Plagg? There was no whining, no slurping, and no cackling. He didn't know what to do with this undeserved bout of silence.
Then a scream rang out through the air. If Adrien still had his faux leather cat ears on, they'd have been perked up to the heavens. There was an akuma, and his kwami apparently wasn't hungry after a long, stressful day of sleeping in his shirt pocket. And if his kwami wasn't hungry, then he probably wasn't here in the first place. Adrien groaned exasperatedly, then rose up to empty out his bag.
Pens and papers tumbled out. A love letter to Ladybug tumbled out. His scarf from his father tumbled out. A fake pair of cat years he'd gotten three years ago from a Chat Noir themed fair stall tumbled out. All perfectly normal things to keep inside a tuition bag. And then a tomato tumbled out.
…he didn't keep tomatoes in his bag. What was that doing here? He carefully lifted up the tomato so that it wouldn't combust all over his white carpeting and ruin the Agreste name of keeping their whites clean.
It wasn't a tomato.
It had spots on it. Black little polka dotted tomato? Did those even exist?
He was pondering upon this anomaly when the tomato opened its eyes. Did tomatoes have eyes?
Wait, no, this looked like a kwami. Was there a tomato kwami? What was the power of the tomato kwami? It must be particularly acidic towards wrongdoers. He mentally giggled and high fived himself. He was so good at this humour shindig.
…maybe it was the ladybug kwami? Tomato kwamis were absolutely impractical. The little fairy in his hand had frozen up, clearly pretending to be a plush toy.
Idiot kwami. She had opened her eyes right in front of him. He wasn't oblivious. At all. And he righteously felt that the kwami should have known that.
He brought up Tikki to face level. "Hey, are you Ladybug's kwami?"
Plagg was so done. The Befuddler was the most confusing akuma he'd ever had to deal with. It seemed that he'd hit himself with one of his rays, what with the completely random targets he was shooting at.
Once Marinette was safely informed of his biodata, they'd tucked into an alleyway to better analyze the complex situation occurring in Paris' streets. In that short span of time, he'd seen the Befuddler shoot at a parking ticket, a no parking sign, a don't litter sign, a windshield, and a random pair of stilettos. The parking ticket had changed into a lottery ticket, the no parking sign had become a let's partayyy advertisement, the windshield a math textbook and littering sign was now a thesis on the importance of park benches. The stilettos, however, remained as sparkly as ever.
Marinette could empathize though. There was nothing logical about walking on stilts to look sophisticated, so the Befuddler had probably thought that it would be sadistic enough to leave them as they were. Other than that unnecessary bout of empathy, Plagg couldn't understand how the akuma planned to draw out Ladybug and Chat Noir. He wasn't exactly doing…anything.
On second thoughts, why were the people screaming?
Plagg scowled in annoyance as he watched a man run past yowling like a wounded kitten. What, exactly, did he think was going to happen to him?
He didn't have time for this stupidity. He could have been eating camembert right now. But he had to deal with this pesky akuma.
The sooner they dealt with this, the sooner the SS Adrinette could sail. He turned to Marinette, flying up to her ear to whisper.
Smiling evilly, he started. "Okay, so here's the plan."
"Hi, I'm Tikki."
Adrien sprang back in surprise as the tomato talked. He knew it! He knew that it had been Ladybug's kwami. He was so clever.
His smile drooped. If Tikki was here, that meant that Plagg was with Ladybug. He would never get Plagg back, because then Ladybug would have his head for trying to figure out her identity. Damn it.
Tikki flew up to him suddenly and rubbed one of stubby hands against his cheek in some semblance of a sisterly caress. "What's wrong, Adrien?"
He couldn't deal with this niceness.
"You're here. I can't get Plagg back because I don't know who Ladybug is. There is an akuma outside. What am I going to do?"
Tikki smiled slightly. The plan was coming along beautifully.
"Ah, Adrien, it's okay. Desperate times call for desperate measures, yes? I'm forbidden by kwami law to tell you my holder's identity, but I can guide you to her through hints."
Adrien didn't look like he was breathing.
Tikki grinned slightly. "Are you okay, Adrien?"
He nodded his head energetically, a slightly unhinged expression stealing across his features for a moment. Tikki wondered if his head would fall off.
This plan was difficult, but she had an inkling that it would work this time. The ship would have sailed long ago, had it not been for kwami law, an old scrap of paper that Plagg had torn out of his Master's diary a couple centuries ago. They'd spent a couple nights giggling over what rules to put in there.
Kwami law was a matter of honour now.
...And I finally got around to writing another chapter. Yay for me, babyy! :D
My friend thought I wouldn't get around to doing this for another couple years, and she speaks from experience, but I'm glad this worked out. I'm sorry that the chapter is slightly shorter than the last one, but I felt like this was a good note to end the chapter on, and if I'd stretched it out any further, it'd just be bad writing that I would end up deleting from the story anyway. Long author's note aside, some of you asked me about what's going on on the Agreste turf, so hopefully you liked this a little? Review and Follow and Favourite if you liked it, as always. I'll see you in another life, my beauties. Toodles! ^-^
