Moi-Moi: Welcome, everyone to my newest fan fiction! I'm happy to report that this story kept me up for the better half of last night… I'm sooooooo sleepy….
Violet: Hi…
Moi-Moi: This may seem ridiculous, but here's my newest helper person! Violet is the AnnouncerPeoples eldest daughter. I'm paying her by the hour, so let's get started!
Violet: This sucks (bleep). What, I can't say (bleep)?
Moi-Moi: Sorry, but no. Some viewers think that the obscene language is a little too much. There was a whole lawsuit and everything. The point is we can't say: (bleep), (bleep), (bleep), (bleep), (bleep), nor (bleep).
Violet: What about (bleep)?
Moi-Moi: Nope. They just censored you. ..
Violet: Wow…
Moi-Moi: I know. Kids can watch the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet, but they can't hear (bleep).
Violet: So, they can watch two animals (bleep)ing but, not hear someone call it (bleep)ing?
Moi-Moi: They call it the Discovery Channel for a reason….
~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J~~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J~~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J
"Inuyasha!"
The cry rang out throughout the castle. A seventeen-year-old hanyou ran down a hall and out a window. He had just pulled the ultimate prank on his elder brother, Sesshoumaru.
The hanyou ran down the garden's path, getting his pants' legs dirty with mud. He kept running until he run into a wall. He fell onto his (bleep) and-
Moi-Moi: Wait, you're censoring my fics, too? Not coolio, dude…not coolio…
-looked up at the wall that came out thin air. A very upsetSesshoumaru stood in front of him with black, ink markings on his face and purple hair. Sesshoumaru looked ready to kill. Inuyasha gulped and crawled away slowly on his back. Sesshoumaru followed him and a low growl came from his throat.
Sesshoumaru grabbed his younger brother by his shirt collar in less than a second.
"Mom! Dad! Help!" Inuyasha yelled at the top of his lungs. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened and he looked to where the sound of thudding footsteps came from. He looked at a smirking Inuyasha.
"Sesshoumaru. Put your brother down, now," Inutaisho said. The dog father looked at his eldest son sternly. Sesshoumaru bowed his head and dropped Inuyasha onto his backside. Izayoi came from behind Inutaisho and ran to Inuyasha. She checked him over for injuries.
"Come here," Inutaisho ordered. Sesshoumaru walked over to his father. "Care to explain why you looked as if you were going to kill your brother."
"Look what he did! My face and hair! I'm black and purple!" Sesshoumaru yelled.
"It was an accident! I had the dye and ink in one hand and your laundry in the other. I just was going to do you a favor of taking the clothes to the laundry room! But, I tripped on your rug and the dye and ink went flying! I thought you wouldn't be mad if I had saved your precious clothes," Inuyasha finished somberly. Izayoi hugged him.
"See? He was just trying to help. You almost broke his arm for helping, Sesshoumaru. As your punishment for picking on your brother I expect you to clean up the mess and I'm revoking your reading privileges for a month," Inutaisho said. Sesshoumaru blanched. Izayoi led Inuyasha back inside and Inutaisho stayed with Sesshoumaru.
"You should be more like your brother. Why can't you leave him alone?" Inutaisho said, walking away. Sesshoumaru looked up at the balcony above. Inuyasha was standing overhead with a large bucket. He tipped it over slowly and brown goo slicked out. It landed on Sesshoumaru and the Inu Youkai wiped off his face and sniffed his hand. The brown liquid stunk like dirty socks and ten skunks' (bleep).
~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~
Inuyasha plopped onto his and laughed a loud victorious laugh. His best friend, Miroku, was laughing with him. The two lived to make Sesshoumaru's life miserable.
"Did you see his face?" Miroku asked.
Another round of laughter sounded out. "He's such an idiot!"
A foul smell wavered into the room from beyond the closed door. Both boys chocked on the smell. Then, the bedroom door opened and a brown Sesshoumaru stood in the doorway. He was smiling.
"Oh, you two are so very funny! Come over here and let me give your two a hug," Sesshoumaru smirked and walked into the room. He tracked brown sludge on the floors.
"Sesshoumaru, stay back!" Inuyasha said.
"Or, what? You'll call Mother. All I want to do is hug you. Come here little brother! Show me you love me!"
A scream was heard…
~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J~~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J~~HEAD~~SHOULDERS~~KNEES~~AND~~TOES~~J
"Kagome!"
The fifteen-year-old pulled another pillow and covered her head with it. Why couldn't her mother be quiet in the morning?
"Kagome Higurashi! Get up right now!" her mother, Ai yelled.
Kagome groaned. Why couldn't they see she wasn't a morning person?
"Get up! Get up! Get up! We have things to do today!" Sango yelled, jumping on Kagome's sleeping form. Kagome was startled and fell out of the bed. From her place on the floor, she glared up at Sango. Kagome sighed eventually and passed a hand through her curly/wavy black hair. She stood in her white night gown and went over to get a brush. Sango beat her to it and swiped the brush from the table. Kagome sat in the chair in front of her vanity and Sango began brushing her hair.
"Where are we going?" Kagome asked.
"You know today is the day you get shipped of to the North. You get to meet your latest suitor today," Sango said with a teasing undertone. She knew how Kagome hated the many suitors her father always matched her up with. She was fifteen! Marriage was the last thing on her mind…
"Let's hope he's the last," Kikyou said from the doorway. She walked into the room, book in hand. Kikyou was Kagome and Sango's elder sister. She was nineteen and had long dark brown hair. Sango gave Kikyou the brush and went off to Kagome's closet to pick out something Kagome would like before her mother had a chance to pick the frilliest, pinkest dress in there.
Kikyou passed the brush through her sister's hair. "You know you're going to have to choose someone eventually or Father will just marry you off."
"I'm fifteen. When I'm ready to settle down, I will. Besides, why isn't everyone pressuring Sango to get married?" Kagome complained.
"Because I'm the adopted daughter, not the blood child. I can marry when I want and to whom I want," Sango said, coming out of the closet with a navy blue dress with spaghetti straps and a white sash around the mid-section. Kagome smiled and nodded her head. Sango smiled and laid it out onto the bed.
"It doesn't matter with Sango. No offense," Kikyou said. Sango shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, Mother and Father want to find me a husband as well."
"Yes, that makes me feel so much better," Kagome said and rested her chin on her right palm. A strand of hair fell in her face and she blew it back into place.
~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~EYES~~AND~~EARS~~AND~~MOUTH~~AND~~NOSE~~
Inuyasha lay on his bed. Miroku was leaning back in a chair. It was a wonder how he hadn't fallen, yet.
"It's boring with Sesshy on lockdown," Miroku said.
"Yep. I miss Fluffy. It's so dull," Inuyasha sighed.
"Wanna put eggs in the cook's underwear?" Miroku asked.
"We did that yesterday. How about shrinking the maid's clothes to make them think they're getting fat?" Inuyasha offered.
"Not that I don't love their tighter clothes, but we did that last week. Let's face it- we need new material," Miroku said.
A knock came on the door. Izayoi stuck her head into the boy's room. She smiled at them and sat on the bed next to Inuyasha.
"Guess what boys? Inutaisho decided to let us get out of the castle for the day. So, you two get changed. We're leaving in an hour."
"Where are you going?" Miroku asked.
"Miroku, I've already told you that you're family here. You're coming, too. We're going to the Eastern Lands, the North, maybe the South," Izayoi said.
"In one day?" Inuyasha asked.
"No, three," Izayoi said, taking a brush from Inuyasha's bedside table. She put it to his hair and he jumped away.
"Mom. You know I hate that thing. Every time someone brushes my hair, I end up looking like a girl. Or worse, Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha said holding his silver hair. Izayoi smiled at him and put the brush down onto his bed.
"Whatever you say, Dear. Just make sure you two are out of this room and in that carriage in one hour," Izayoi said. The woman left the room and the boys looked at each other and smiled. Road trip!
LATERS…
"Are we there yet?" Inuyasha asked. They had been traveling for about five hours. The better half of it was a race between father and son.
"You wanna go and wallow in your defeat, son?" Inutaisho asked.
"Hey! You only won because the sun was in my eyes! There is no way you're faster than me. You're all old and worn out, old man," Inuyasha said. When his father shook hi head and smiled, Inuyasha growled and went back to staring out the window. This road trip sounded better five hours ago…
"Look a castle!" Izayoi announced. Inuyasha gave it a side-glance. It was okay, but it reeked of humans. They were coming closer to its gates. He remained staring out of the window and plotting ways to ruin Sesshoumaru's day when he got off probation…
"Kagome! You're going to be late, again!"
"I'm going!"
He heard what sounded like a mother and daughter yelling. He guessed the daughter was one of those spoiled, rich, princesses that-
The castle door opened and a girl walked out. She had on a navy blue and white dress. Her brown hair was up in a bun with chopsticks holding it up. She was hurrying down some stairs and holding her dress up. He guessed she was trying not to fall.
"Kagome! Let me fix you makeup before you go!" a woman yelled from the top of the steps.
The girl, Kagome, turned back to the woman, "Mother, please!"
She began walking again and Inuyasha was having a hard time looking away. She must have heard the carriage and looked up. She locked eyes with him and they froze. After a while, she blushed and continued walking, but this time slower. Probably trying harder not to fall… She must be clumsy then.
She opened the carriage door and peeked at him again. She smiled faintly before going inside. When she closed the door, Inuyasha sat back in his seat.
"Something wrong, Inuyasha? Your heart sounds irregular," Inutaisho said.
He looked over to his family and shook his head, "No, Dad. I'm…fine."
Izayoi smiled. She saw him staring at the girl. She was a beautiful one, too. Izayoi squealed with joy in her mind. She would have to find out the name of that girl. Her baby's first crush… Izayoi hummed the tune for "Here Comes the Bride" to herself. Inutaisho raised an eyebrow. She only smiled in return.
Violet: Well, there we go. Looks like our favorite couple has "met" and had an instant connection! What will happen-(bleep) - next? Damn, it! I can say damn, but not (bleep). This is (bleep)! Why can't you ease off that stupid censor button for one (bleep)ing second? (Bleep), it!
{Please stand by. We will return your programming shortly…}
