#21
Since the day I found out about Kuroko Tetsuya-kun's existence, I've been pinching myself every time I wake up in the morning to see if I was still dreaming. And it hurt. Every one of them hurt.
This is definitely reality.
It has been a few days since the big reveal happened, and weirdly enough, I feel neutral all about it. Nothing spicy or popping or anything. It's almost as if I was back to how I was before, except I'm almost lifeless like a walking corpse or something.
I can't tell why but I also feel like something was missing. Like some kind of trigger for a reaction or emotion that I should be feeling about for this whole situation, I suppose.
Let's try it again.
After almost a month of searching, the guy whom I admire and respect has been sitting three seats away from me this whole time. His name is Kuroko Tetsuya, a regular player in the basketball team, and is also the one who adopted the cute puppy from the other night. But…
Even as I wrote that down, I didn't feel anything. No raised eyebrows, no slacked jaw, or even a slight bump in the heart. No emotions or whatsoever— just lingering thoughts like these ones I'm writing right now.
Weird. So weird.
This isn't Auto Pilot Mode— it only activates when my brain is too surprised by something and it needs to escape from that situation. It only lasts for about five minutes max, and as soon as I'm out of the situation, I'll be back on Normal Mitsuko Mode again.
Is it disappointment then?
Am I disappointed that Fifth Guy isn't someone I imagined him to be? But I didn't really have a specific image of Fifth Guy in my mind. He wasn't some guy who was way taller than me or someone who looked like he could lift fifty sacks of potatoes. Fifth Guy, or Kuroko Tetsuya-kun, is a little taller than me, and he doesn't look all that muscle-y. He looks pretty normal to me, if anything.
I only imagined the feeling; that he was someone I can rely on.
Maybe that's the thing I'm looking for— or, rather, waiting for to happen, because you can only confirm that expectation once you get to know the person. It's not something that happens when you meet them once.
And if he did have the towering height or the pecs of a body builder, that didn't mean he was already reliable. He needs to do something first before he does become one.
So, maybe I just need to make my own move. I need to get to know him.
I did think he seemed like a good person when I first met him. I was reminded of the gentle aura he originally had when I met him again near the gym. And besides, he was the one who adopted the cute puppy for me. I think that says plenty about him.
But I shouldn't believe in the expectations I built from the things I've only seen once. The disappointment might actually happen if I did expect him to be like some sort of saint and then he'd turn out to be the complete opposite. Like a sadist or something.
Like I said, I need to get to know him.
And by that, I need to befriend Kuroko Tetsuya.
#22
Ah, I think befriending him will turn out harder than I thought. Not just him exactly, but I mean anyone. Anyone in or even out of our school, because…
It's been more than a month since school started, but I don't have any friends yet. Not one, not any. Zero.
Seeing how I'm someone who hails from the countryside, it's hard to interact with the city folks. They're like creatures from another world— like what do they even talk about? I mean, I know they're people like me, too, but I don't know how to connect with them because there's so much around stuff happening in the city that it's hard to keep up. I guess I can use my phone just fine, surf on the net, read manga, watch anime and stuff, but there's just so much that I need to learn and absorb to feel like I'm actually one of them.
Add to the fact that I'm shy, awkward, and introverted, it's really difficult. I don't even know the basics of communication, like how does one even start a conversation? Will it be weird if one just talk to another when they're not even that close? Will it be alright for them to be casual with a complete stranger?
And I have to watch out when I speak, too, or else my dialect's going to come out by accident. It's not that I find it embarrassing— as the quote goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," so I want to adapt into the city's culture by starting out with the way people speak.
Then there's this fear from my days in middle school, too…
Ah, I wish I wasn't this much of a worrywart. But then again, how can I just go into the battle field without any fighting experience? I might get shot at out of nowhere and end up ruining my chances.
God, please hear my wish. I would very much appreciate it if you gave me the willpower to pull this off.
#23
I just want a friend, I guess. Someone I can talk to or at least someone who I can greet every the morning.
Yeah, that wouldn't be so bad.
Maybe we can hang out, too, and do other stuff that friends do. Like exchange numbers, eat lunch together, visit a café, and borrow things from each other, and so on. I've never really had anyone I can do that stuff with, so I guess I want to experience it with someone at least once.
Besides, as much as I love plants, I think it's not normal to talk to them all the time— especially if you try imagining a conversation with them, like "Good morning, Daisy-san. You're looking quite beautiful today!" "Oh, I'm doing fine, dear. I am in full bloom today, thanks to your hard work!" "You're welcome! I'm glad to be of your service!"
Ah, wouldn't it be nice if they were actually alive? I wouldn't be so conscious and distressed about being alone and friendless in school. Although I'm actually quite used to it— middle school experience and all, it would still be nice if someone was sitting beside me right now.
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"Arf!"
The sudden bark made Mitsuko drop her pencil and journal in surprise, and from a distance, a puppy came running towards her. Seeing it was the same one from the other night, her face brightened up with a smile, and she welcomed him with open arms. He then jumped right into them, and Mitsuko couldn't help but to giggle in glee as he started licking her cheeks with affection.
"Good morning, Puppy-chan," she greeted him, giving the small one a pet. "I'm so happy to see you!"
"Ah—"
Just as she heard the voice, Mitsuko stopped for a moment; she lifted her face up and saw a familiar figure approaching her. She squint her eyes a bit to get a better look— and upon recognizing the clump of blue hair; she was suddenly hit by a block of ice.
'I-It's him!'
Like a statue, Mitsuko froze from the panic surging through every nook of body. She didn't exactly expect a meeting with him this early in the morning, especially when she was just writing about him a little while ago. Not to mention that, she was also thinking about befriending this guy— she wasn't ready for the mission; there weren't even any preparations yet like practice conversations in her head, but here he was, a couple of feet away and was fast approaching.
'Oh, God, what should I do? I'm not ready yet, gosh, why now? Why—'
"Good morning, Shinomiya-san," was Kuroko's greeting, interrupting Mitsuko's train of thoughts.
She summoned every bit of her power to greet him back.
"G-Good morning, Kuroko-kun," Mitsuko replied with a stutter. 'Crap, I messed it up! What should I do next? Should I ask him why he's here early? No, I might sound overly familiar; we're not even friends yet… Maybe I— I should just ask him how his morning went? No, that's stupid! It is morning right now! I should ask for a different—'
"…-san?"
"Huh? Y-Yes?" she almost shrieked just as she snapped back to reality.
"I was wondering why you're here early today," Kuroko repeated; the tone of his voice was quiet and patient. "Are you taking care of the flowerbeds?"
"Y-Yes, I-I need to water some of them in the morning so I go to school early…" she answered, trying to be casual about her job though she kept on lowering her eyes to the puppy in her arms to calm herself down. "I have a lot of free time anyway so I, um, took this job. H-How about you…?"
"We just had basketball practice a few minutes ago," he said. "I was going to walk Nigou around here but he started running off on his own so I followed him."
'Nigou…? As in Number Two? Why would he give him such name to a cute puppy?'
In the silence that followed, Kuroko kneeled down right next to the plants, and he kept his gaze at them. Mitsuko was confused at first— wondering why he did that now— but she followed his stare. A gentle breeze passed by; the clouds hovering above provided shade for the two of them, and the fallen leaves from the trees around sailed along the wind.
Somehow, her eyes shifted towards him, and she found herself taking in the details of his face.
From his nose to his lips, Kuroko had normal features, Mitsuko thought, but his eyes told a different story. They were wide and blue, much like the sky— not the one in the middle of summer or the one before winter set in. They reminded her of when her cherry blossom tree bloomed for the first time and how everything was suddenly beautiful in her eyes. It was the first day of spring back then, and she could never forget how the clear, blue sky matched the beauty of the flowers in full bloom.
And for a moment there, Mitsuko felt at ease; almost as if she could feel something made its way between them, wrapping its arms gently around the two of them and pulling them closer and closer until they were five centimeters apart, and—
Everything would be alright, starting from this moment of silence with him.
"They're quite lovely," Kuroko said when he looked up at her with a small smile. "You did a good job on these flowers, Shinomiya-san."
To that, Mitsuko returned his smile with a bright one.
"Thank you, Kuroko-kun. I really appreciate that."
Picking up her pencil and journal for her, Kuroko stood up and offered them to her. Mitsuko then put Nigou down gently on the ground before she accepted them.
"I'll go on ahead now, Shinomiya-san," he asked. "I need to bring back Nigou to the gym. It's almost time for our class."
"I-I'll see you later, then!"
After he gave her a nod, Kuroko took Nigou with him as Mitsuko waved them goodbye, and the two disappeared into the corner of the building.
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#24
I'm so happy right now!
I didn't expect for Nigou the puppy to find me here, but then Kuroko-kun appeared, too! I was so nervous I couldn't even speak properly but he was so nice to me!
He's a good guy after all. I guess I wasn't really wrong about him. He might be quiet and all, but he's a nice guy for sure. Someone who looked at the flowers the way he did wouldn't be so bad. He even complimented them!
Maybe I can do this. If I try talking to him more, I can make progress!
Ah, I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. This never really happened to me before so I don't know if I'm even doing it right. I may have the social skills of a raccoon, but maybe, I can pull this off!
For starters, I'll try talking to him later. If I can, I'll talk to him before our classes start. Or even on lunch! Yes!
Good luck, me! You can do it!
#25
I can't approach him.
I tried— I actually got myself to stand up, start walking towards him, but I backed away instantly when I realized one fatal thing.
I didn't know what to talk about.
Reading back on my previous entry, I think I got way ahead of myself that I didn't even think of any topics for our conversation. Of course, I tried making a list of the things we could discuss like:
a) School. I thought that was pretty normal and something casual between us classmates, but wouldn't that be too boring? We'd just end up talking something about that happened to us every day, and who really cared about that kind of thing?
b) Club activities. Kuroko-kun was in the basketball team, but then again, I wasn't. I'm not even in any club! I only do the watering for the plants because I like it, but wouldn't that be boring as a conversation topic, too? I don't know if he'll even want to talk about it.
c) Basketball. Surely, he likes the sport since he plays it, while I like it enough to watch a few games or so. However, my knowledge about it is very minimal— I don't think I can talk about basketball to someone who actually plays it. I don't want to sound like an idiot and end up embarrassing myself…
Ah, I knew it. This is just impossible since we didn't really have anything in common except being in the same class.
Once again, I am in total despair. I don't think I can really do this.
God, why did you make me an awkward bean anyway? Is this a part of a grander scheme of things or something? Or did you just forget to put in Social Skills when you were mixing up my ingredients? Making at least one friend would've made this all much easier if I just had a pinch of that one vital ingredient. I'm not really asking for much; even a grain would be enough. Or even a granule or something.
I really want to be believe Kuroko-kun and I could be great friends, but seeing how I get all anxious about everything that I couldn't even think of anything, the feeling I had earlier might just go to waste.
Ah, where could I buy Social Skills when I need them?
#26
Well, the least I can do now is to enjoy this lunch I made— some Nozawana* rolls, a few deep-fried chicken, and pickled radish.
I didn't get a head-chop when my brother tasted it— he'd give me one if I did a mistake, followed by a lecture— but he didn't give me the Head Pat™ either. He said it could be better, that he'd show me how he'd cook it later, so maybe, this was okay but not enough to earn the ultimate sign of approval. I think that's good enough for me to be happy about. But…
If only I had someone to celebrate with, this would taste so much better…
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"Excuse me…"
Pausing from writing, Mitsuko looked up, and she almost dropped her jaw in pure awe.
There stood before her was a slender girl who radiated so much charm and beauty that she felt the need to cover her eyes from the blinding sight. Compared to Mitsuko's mahogany-colored hair and fossil-like eyes, this girl had the features of a typical Japanese, but her long, black hair was so silky it looked like it was woven by God Himself, her skin was so naturally flawless that Mitsuko thought she was blessed among the blessed, and she couldn't honestly believe that a pair of brown eyes could even sparkle like hers.
'I-It's a Goddess! A Goddess is here!'
A Goddess of beauty had shown herself before her, but why would a divine being speak to someone as unworthy as Mitsuko?
"You're Shinomiya Mitsuko-san, right?" the Goddess asked— 'Her voice sounds so pleasing, too!' "I'm Ootori Akemi. Can I sit here with you?"
'Even her name means beautiful! And she introduced herself so naturally! What is this?!'
A bit nervous, Mitsuko replied with an unsure, "Y-Yeah, g-go on…" and put her journal back in her bag to give space for the girl. Akemi borrowed the seat next to them and propped her chin on her palm; her eyes watching the other girl.
Unsure of what to think of from the girl's sudden appearance, Mitsuko looked down and took a bite from her food. 'W-What should I do?! I let her sit with me but… I don't know what to do!'
"Whoa, what is that? It looks good!" Akemi suddenly remarked when she noticed her lunch. "Did you make that yourself?"
Mitsuko nodded her head slightly. "Y-Yes, it's a, uh, Nozawana roll…"
"Oh, may I have some then please?
'Wha… What?!' She wanted to have a taste? Mitsuko wasn't sure about that. No one outside her family had ever tasted her food before, much less something as simple as her lunch. Sure, her brother might have given it some kind of approval, but she still wasn't that confident since not a lot of people had tasted it.
'But—' this could be a chance! No one had ever approached her like this before— even if some did, they'd only invite her to their club, but she didn't want to force herself into something she didn't want. In group projects, people only took her in because she was the odd one left. Maybe this could be a chance for her to have an actual friend in their class!
"Sure, g-go ahead," Mitsuko pushed her lunch closer towards Akemi. "I-I'm not sure if you're going to like it, though… It's my first time making it so…"
"I'm sure it'll taste good," the other reassured her with a smile. "Well, thanks for the food!"
Akemi then took a piece from the lunch box and ate it. Mitsuko kept her eyes focused on the girl for her reaction, all the while thinking 'Wow, she even looks graceful when she's eating…' until—
"Uwa, this is so delicious!" she exclaimed; her eyes twinkling much like the stars and her voice filled with nothing but amazement. "I haven't tasted anything like this before!"
Seeing how the Goddess looked so delighted with her food, Mitsuko almost cried tears of joy. This was the first time a classmate tasted her food, and on top of that, she liked it!
"T-Thank you so much!" Mitsuko gave her a relieved smile. "I'm glad you liked it!"
"No problem! It's really tasty, you know," Akemi said. "As expected of you, Shinomiya-chan."
After hearing that last sentence, her body visibly stiffened. '"As expected…?" W-What did she—'
Mitsuko let out a gasp; her eyes widening in shock. Lightning struck her happiness away, and as she realized what Akemi meant, a sense of doom dawned into her.
'She... She knows?!'
"U-Um… W-What did you mean by that, O-Ootori-san?" She asked as calmly as she could, but her voice kept on cracking.
Akemi blinked once then twice before she let out a small laugh. "Aren't you Shinomiya Kojirou's sister?"
Mitsuko dried up all at once. "H-How did you know I was his…?"
"I've read about him having a younger sibling in a magazine," Akemi said. "He was asked in an interview if you were going to go to Totsuki* but he said you weren't planning to."
'That's true,' Mitsuko thought.
That academy was on another level— she remembered seeing how her brother got so stressed whenever he'd come home to visit back then. She knew that school wasn't an ordinary one with the tough competition and the young, ambitious chefs from different parts of the world gathered in one place, and with how she was, she wasn't clearly suited for it. She would literally die in that place.
She did love cooking, but it was something she learned just so she could bond with her brother. Growing up, she didn't really spend a lot of time with him— not only because of their twelve-year age gap, but also he was rarely home. It was the only way to connect with him.
"You guys share the same last name, but I wasn't sure if you really were related to him since there wasn't any picture provided in that magazine," Akemi continued. "But now that I got a good look on you, you kind of resemble him!"
Once again, Mitsuko tensed up. 'Do I really look like that pink angry chicken…?'
"Y-You seem to know a lot about him, Ootori-san…" She tried to change the subject. She didn't want to be compared to her brother in terms of looks as Mitsuko would like to believe she didn't look as scary and smug as her brother was.
"Why, of course!" If Akemi wasn't sparkling enough before, she sparkled twice as much now. She became more radiant than a hundred suns, and Mitsuko needed a pair of sunglasses or her eyes would burn out. "We went to your brother's restaurant before, and I've been his fan since then! His food is so heavenly, and not to mention he looks incredibly handsome, too!"
'I-I don't know about the handsome part, but… Ootori-san must like cooking, then…? Should I ask her? It's okay, right?'
"D-Do you cook anything, then…?"
At the mention of cooking, Akemi the Sun Goddess lost her shine and became as darkened as the moon. In total despair, she was grayer than a stormy sky; dead as the night.
Mitsuko started panicking.
"I'm sorry, Ootori-san! I'm really sorry!" She tried to apologize for her seemingly off-handed question. "I-I shouldn't have asked!"
"No, it's alright, no need to be sorry about it," Akemi recovered a bit but was still weak from the blow. "I just can't fry an egg without turning it into coal, you know? Reality hurts."
Sweat dropped from Mitsuko's forehead. "T-That's too bad… I'm sorry about that…"
"But, maybe…"
Akemi suddenly grabbed one of Mitsuko's hands; the twinkle in her eyes was reignited.
"I still have hope!" she said; her voice filled with determination. "You can be my teacher, Shinomiya-chan!"
Mitsuko inched away a bit, surprised from the sudden turn of events.
'Me…? A teacher…?'
With her current set of socializing skills, Mitsuko thought Akemi was almost asking to catch a flying pig for her. It was impossible— she couldn't even hold a proper conversation without getting all nervous and fidgety, but teaching someone? And it was cooking even! Like she said, cooking wasn't her forte; it was merely a hobby, and she was nowhere near a professional's level.
'And what would I even teach her?!'
"It doesn't have to be difficult recipes, too! You just need to show me how you do it," Akemi persisted. "That way, I'll definitely learn how to cook!"
Looking at the girl's determination, Mitsuko couldn't help but feel bad if she rejected her. She seemed so willing to learn that it reminded her of how she first asked her brother and parents to teach her about cooking. Even though she lacked the talent, she was so persistent back then that her brother would give her lessons every time he came home. It opened up a new world to her, and there should be no reason for her to not welcome Akemi into it.
So, Mitsuko braced herself— this would probably take all of her to teach Akemi anything, but she had to do it; not only for the girl, but also for her own improvement.
Yes, it would be a growing process for the two of them.
"I'll do it," Mitsuko said; resolved and ready for the new things to come. "I'll be your teacher, Ootori-san."
Delighted after hearing her answer, Akemi took both of Mitsuko's hand into hers, saying, "Thank you so much! I'll do my best, sensei!"
'Se… Sensei…?'
"Oh and can I call you Mitsuko from now on?" she said, grinning gleefully at her. "You can call me by my first name, too!"
Mitsuko was at loss— not because she was distressed, but she, too, was beyond ecstatic she couldn't even say a word. Standing at the background, she had seen this before— this familiar scene she only used to watch from the people around her who had one of their own.
'A friend!'
Finally, Mitsuko smiled. "Sure, Akemi-san!"
"Well, you can start by telling me how you did this Nozawana roll thing! Oh, wait, I need to take notes for this…"
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#27
It's so weird having a friend. Time flies by when you have one, and you tend to forget things. I almost forgot to write an entry before bed time.
I don't think it's a bad thing, though. Forgetting things. Sometimes, it's good to forget things especially if it's a bad memory. It can be hard, though. I know because I still haven't forgotten mine. And I don't think I will.
But the memories of today are something I shouldn't forget. They've been the best ones I had in my life anyway, and I learned things more than I expected.
I made my very first friend, and her name is Ootori Akemi. She first approached me during lunch, and by some miracle of God and a conversation about food, cooking, and my brother, we became friends.
We even went to a ramen shop after our classes wherein she bought two bowls of ramen. She loves food, apparently— enough for her to not care if she gets fat. As long as she's satisfied, she's fine with it, was what she said.
I didn't expect that someone who looked like her would say that— from what I've seen, people have this natural tendency to keep that one thing that makes them beautiful so that others may not look away. They wouldn't want to lose it even if it means to sacrifice the things that they want.
In Akemi-san's case, it's her seemingly flawless image. She's beautiful beyond belief, and everything about her seems mesmerizing so people tend to believe that she can only do things that they assume to be fitting of her appearance.
But she betrays that assumption— she went and ate two bowls of ramen, and when I couldn't finish mine, she ate it, too. Then, she smiled to me, saying we should try making ramen of our own sometime. I still found her beautiful after that; even more so than before.
I guess I really don't know much about people and what to expect of them. I've never had friends before so they always surprise me. Having a friend is really fascinating.
There are more things I can say about her— things that I can only put in simple words but enough to define a beautiful complexity such as her. She's kind, cheerful, friendly, and fun to be with. Even though she seems perfect, there are things she can't do like cooking (and others I have yet to know), but she makes up for it with her determination to learn. After all, she's human just like everyone else is.
I couldn't honestly believe someone like her became my friend. It was something I never really imagined before, something I didn't think was possible until today happened. Until she and the rest of us together happened. I only wanted a friend, but I received something more than what I wished for!
Thank you for hearing my prayers, God! I'll definitely go on a shrine visit this New Year. And hopefully, I won't be by myself anymore. I'll be coming along with a friend this time!
But it's almost midnight now. I need to go bed— I still have to go to school for my babies tomorrow morning. I'll definitely greet Akemi-san when I see her, too!
Well then, good night! Mitsuko, out!
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- NOTES -
*Nozawana (野沢菜) is a Japanese leaf vegetable, often pickled. It is of the same species as the common turnip and one of a Japanese variety of mustard leaf.
*Tōtsuki Tea Ceremony and Cooking Academy (遠月茶寮料理學園 Tōtsuki Saryō Ryōri Gakuen) or Tōtsuki Culinary Academy is the main setting of the anime Shokugeki no Souma. Shinomiya Kojirou is an alumni of this academy.
- ANON REPLIES -
PandaQueen - Mitsuko might be a smart lass but she's a bit slow on noticing things, hahaha! Anyway, good luck on your finals! :')
Nightspecs - Oh~~ you're making me blush. That's the greatest compliment to a mere writer like me, hahaha~ Thank you so much!
xXxim-batmanxXx - Thank you! Very nice username, btw.
11/07/2017 - More Mitsuko stuff, a moment with Kuroko, and a new character!
I truly hope that you guys are enjoying it so far! (Though we've only been two chapters in, haha.) This will be quite a slow-burn kind of romance between the main couple considering Mitsuko's shy and introverted nature and Kuroko's a quiet boy. But wouldn't that make things more adorable? HAHAHA, AAAAA— fluff is the third genre of this story (if you consider that a real one.)
Even so, I'll try to keep things spicy with the other things that I planned for this story. Hee-hee~ please stay tuned in for more flavorful stuff in the future! ;)
Thank you for reading! Feel free to send me a private message or post a review for any comments, questions, or even suggestions. Alerts and favorites are very much appreciated, too!
