Chapter 2

Author's note

Hey it's Olivia. Hope you liked my first chapter because here's the second. Enjoy!! Sorry it took so long to write, I couldn't think of anything.

Carlisle's POV

"What should I name her?" I thought to myself.

The family had returned from the hunting trip. I had gotten the squirrel home without anyone ever suspecting anything. I had ran to the post office and mailed it home. It arrived a week later.

Maybe I'll name her Roxanne. Or Annabel or Bella. Those are my three favorite names, but I had to pick one. Or I could combine them to make...Roxannabella. Yes! That was the perfect name.

"Carlisle, can I come in?" asked Bella, from behind the door.

"Just a second," I replied.

I hastily put Roxannabella in her cage that I found in the basement. It was a hamster cage that used to belong to Emmett's hamster, Bucky. Emmett had forgotten that hamsters actually have to eat. So Bucky died 5 days after we got him.

I quickly locked the hamster cage door and covered it with Rosalie's old Barbie towel. I didn't notice, but the lock on the cage door was loose.

"Come in," I said.

Bella walked in with Edward by her side.

"Do you want to come downstairs and watch the Tigers game with us?"Edward asked.

"Um..sure. Who are they playing?"

"The Yankees, they'll probably lose," she replied.

We headed downstairs to watch the game. It just started. Verlander had already struck one batter out. By the 5th inning the Tigers were down by one and Inge was up to bat, the bases were loaded. He hit a grand slam!

The family whooped and hollered like crazy.

"Your gonna need some ice, 'cause you got burned!" Emmett yelled excitingly.

"OWNAGE!!!" Shouted Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Bella.

"Something ran across my leg," Rosalie cried.

"Relax, it's probably nothing. Ohh..look, it was just a squirrel!" Emmett exclaimed and started walking towards it.

"Hey, I want it," Jasper yelled.

"I saw it first," yelled Emmett.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Jasper asked.

"Definitely, your going down, loser!" taunted Emmett.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!!!" they both cried in unison.

Jasper held up what he had chosen, paper. Emmett showed his, a rock with his thumb up.

"ha ha ha, I won. Who's the loser now," Jasper bragged.

"what are you talking about I clearly won," Emmett replied, angrily.

"i chose paper, you chose rock. Paper covers rock,"Jasper groaned.

"I didn't put rock, I put bomb. Bomb beats everything. Everybody knows that, well I guess not every body," said Emmett, proudly.

"Oh, that's cold," gasped Alice.

"I just got burned, but I couldn't possibly get any hotter," said Jasper, "besides, there's no bomb in rock, paper, scissors."

"Oh, you know I won. Just give me the squirrel," Emmett shouted at the top of his incredibly powerful lungs.

He turned to reach for it but, it was gone. He soon saw it in my protective arms. I was holding Roxannabella very close to him.

"Please, tell Jasper that I won," said Emmett.

"No!! Neither of you can eat Roxannabella. She's mine!!!" I said angrily.

"Hey, I saw it first and you know it," Emmett made a lunge towards th squirrel.

I was to fast. I used my white-belt karate skills to kick Emmett across the room with a mighty "HAI-YA!!." Emmett hit the wall on the other side of the room. Looking dazed he got up and looked at me.

"Fine have the dang squirrel," Emmett said in a voice that reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite.

"I would never eat her. She is my love and I will protect her with my life," I replied.

The group looked at me stunned. Each one with their mouths ajar.

"Oh My God," they all said slowly in unison.

"PLOOOOFF," there was a large farting sound.

It was a loud as a trumpet. Within seconds they were all coughing and gagging on the disgusting scent. It smelled worse than when someone left milk in their locker for a month. The Cullen's quickly evacuated the house.

When they were all outside Esme said:

"What do you mean she's your love?" she asked, sounding appalled.

"I have fallen in love with her and nothing could tear us apart. I need her more than a tire needs air, more than Sponge bob needs Patrick, and more than Edward needs to take a shower," I replied dreamily.

"Wha..I mean... Wha...What are you saying? Are you going insane? Do you need doctor or something?" she said, unbelievingly.

"No, I'm fine. I'm discovering the mystery of love for the first time. I feel wonderful,"

I said.

"I don't understand, you'd rather have a squirrel than...me," she said, holding back sob.

"Yes. I have found my soul mate...and it's not you, no offense," I said.

Esme charged out of the yard and into the stinky house. Alice, Rosalie, Renesmee, and Bella followed. They each gave me the evil eye as they passed. Jasper, Emmett, and Edward followed each purposely hitting my shoulder as they passed.

"What a jerk," I heard Edward mumble to Jasper.

Then they were gone and I was left all alone with Roxannabella, my beloved squirrel.

"PLOOOFF," another atomic fart by Roxannabella.

I was left all alone with Roxannabella the farting squirrel.