ENGLISH FAUX-ELVISH


The simplest and most convenient of all the Faux-Elvish dialects, English Faux-Elvish is a good starting point for beginners learning this language. English Faux-Elvish is in fact, a mix of English and random bits of Elvish. And by random, I mean random. Seriously, just pick out any Elvish word out of The Lord of the Rings and smack it in your sentence. There you have it! English Faux-Elvish. It is perfect for ad lib. presentations at school and bullshitting your way through Middle Earth, should you magically appear in it.

Still confused on how to construct proper English Faux-Elvish sentences? Never fear, here is a simple step-by-step on how to do it convincingly.

Step 1) Write your desired sentence out in English:

eg. Watch this here sentence.

Step 2) Next, pick out, off the top of your head, random Elvish words that you may have picked up from reading or watching The Lord of the Rings. Insert them randomly in your sentence. Studies show that the words mellon, galadriel, ada, imladris, estel, and the suffixes -wyn and -thiel work best.

eg. Watchwyn this imladris mellon herethiel sentence estel ada galadriel.

Step 3) To go the extra mile, add in the occasional O or aie in your sentence. This will make it all the more convincing.

eg. O watchwyn this imladris mellon herethiel aie sentence estel ada galadriel.

Step 4) This final step is to try pronouncing your sentence. It doesn't really matter how you pronounce it. Just try to make it really breathy and drawn out, and put on a French accent.

Once you've completed all the steps, congratulations! You've mastered the Faux-Elvish dialect of English Faux-Elvish!

Goodeth Luckwyn!