"Listen!" Private Goomp said as the trio huddled in a nearby corner. "This is a BIG battle! If we win, we might get promoted again!"

"Ah, you're right!" Corporal Paraplonk agreed. "Maybe we'll even get a raise this time!"

"Huh…you both do have a point," Sergeant Guy murmured. "But we've got to win…especially since we messed up so badly last time…"

All three of them winced. When Bowser had found out they had switched allegiances and had started working for Fawful, he had punished them quite soundly for their betrayal. They weren't looking forward to their next punishment if they screwed up again.

"Alright, I've got a plan!" said Private Goomp.

"Nonono, that's too obvious!" contradicted Corporal Paraplonk.

"Well, whaddaya have in mind, then?!" asked Sergeant Guy, annoyed.

"How about this?"

"No, that sucks!"

"My plan's the best!"

"Are you kidding? That's the worst I've heard!"

"What about this strategy?"

"A Goomba could do better!"

"I AM a Goomba, idiot!"

"Oh, you don't say?"

"I'm hungry!"

"Argh!"


Several hours later…

"Alright, we've got a plan!" Private Goomp exclaimed, as the trio rejoined the brothers. "Ready to – HEY!"

During their "strategy meeting," Mario and Dreamy Luigi had decided to entertain themselves by playing cards, attempting to break down the pink pipe barrier, playing charades, practicing their Luiginary Attacks, eating the lunch that Dreamy Broque Madame had given them, playing charades again, and napping. Currently, Mario was dusting off his clothes, looking extremely passive, while Dreamy Luigi was kneeling down and doodling in the sand, bored out of his mind.

"HEY! Is he DOODLING?!"

"That's not nice! We're ready for you!"

Immediately, both parties took their fight stances, and the battle was officially underway. Dreamy Luigi fused into Mario, giving him a power boost, while the Elite Trio gathered their forces…or at least Private Goomp did.

"GOOMBAS! FORMATION!" Suddenly, out of nowhere, a horde of Goombas flooded the area, some surrounding Private Goomp, and others in the background. Mario blinked again.

"How the heck did you get that many Goombas?"

"Ha! Shocked, aren't we? Well too bad for you!" yelled Private Goomp, jumping up and down in glee. "I'll tell you how I got all of these Goombas!"

And he went into a long winded story of how his Goomba army formed. Corporal Paraplonk facepalmed, while Sergeant Guy simply hung his head.

"He's going to be the end of us…"

Mario couldn't help but laugh at this bizarre scene. Now all of the Goombas had fallen asleep at Private Goomp's ramblings. "If this is your 'strategy' for a battle," he giggled, "then this'll be way too easy – OUCH!" He felt a sharp stabbing pain in his side, then realized that his brother had poked him from inside. "What?" he whispered.

"Bro, this isn't the time to gloat!" Dreamy Luigi whispered back. "Use this time to attack!"

"Ahhhh…good point." With that, Mario silently retreated, summoned the Luiginary Hammer they had just practiced with, gathered up hundreds of Luiginoids while maintaining his balance, tiptoed forward, and swung the hammer down on an unsuspecting Private Goomp.

"And then I was like, 'the grass is greener on the other Goomba!' and then I – OWWWWWW! MY HEAD!" The hammer struck Private Goomp right on the noggin, while the shockwave from the hammer and the remaining Luiginoids hit the surrounding Goombas and Sergeant Guy. Private Goomp collapsed on the ground, clearly knocked out. Sergeant Guy and Corporal Paraplonk exchanged exasperated looks, apparently deciding on whether or not they should help their fallen comrade.

"Should we?"

"…Yeah, we should. Even though he's an idiot." And, to Mario's surprise, Sergeant Guy struck the unconscious Goomba with his baton, which revived him.

"Eh? I'm still alive?" When Corporal Paraplonk gave him a look, Private Goomp burst into fits of laughter. "HAHAHA! See that, buddy?!" he gloated, right in front of Mario, who gritted his teeth in anger. "It's called TEAMWORK!"

"Goomp, shut up!" Corporal Paraplonk warned.

"You can laugh at our strategy, go ahead!" Private Goomp continued. "Because it's a failsafe! Unless you KO all three of us at once, we can't lose!"

There was a very long silence. Corporal Paraplonk facepalmed again, but Sergeant Guy took matters into his own hands. Annoyed that the Goomba had just revealed their strategy to the Mario Bros, he somersaulted forward and knocked the tattletale high into the sky.

Private Goomp came back a bit later.

"Sorry…I may have said a bit too much."