"I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh, so you don't see me cry,

I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me – I'm going to smile." ~Anonymous


Lunaria


"You did what?" Peeta demanded. I knew he was looking at me, but I couldn't meet his eyes. "I'd thought that you'd promised me you'd stop doing this!"

"But I can't just stand by, perfectly fine, while everyone else—"

"It's suicide!" he yelled. "Lunaria, look at me." His strong fingers touched my face as he scooted closer to me. His blue eyes were sad. Sad and scared. Scared for me.

"What do you expect me to do, Peeta?" I asked, knowing there was nothing I could do to change my actions. Even if I could, I knew, as did he, that I would keep them the same.

"Signing up for tesserae…just to feed other families?" He sighed, resting his head on the top of mine. "I know you have a big heart, but you're going to get yourself killed."

"What makes you so sure I'd die?"

"You're the closest thing Haymitch has got to family. I don't know the guy, but you know the Capitol would do anything to make the Victors' lives hell…and once they found out you matter to him, you'd be the one to die the most horrible death."

A shiver ran down my spine as he voiced what we all knew was true. But I couldn't help it! It killed me to see all the little kids, so scared and dying from starvation while I was as well off as you could get. While I couldn't give them money, I would buy food and drop them off at different houses, even though it was just a little bit here and there so I wouldn't be caught. Signing up for tesserae was just another way I could give some of the families things they needed without them having to worry too much about their own children.

"There's plenty of others whose names are in there as much as mine. I've made it for years now…what's the chance of me being picked today?"

"The odds are never in any of our favors," Peeta muttered darkly.

"We haven't been picked yet, so I'd say we've been doing pretty good," I said, leaning against him as we heard the obnoxiously loud Capitol people roaming the streets, getting everything ready for the cameras.

"This is the place," Peeta said quietly, eyes glazed over from some past memory.

"What d'you mean?" I asked, confused.

"This is where I helped her, when I finally had the guts to show myself to her." I didn't say anything, knowing immediately who he was talking about as I looked up at the apple tree that was casting shade over us. He never made it through a day without mentioning her.

Katniss Everdeen was the one who usually occupied his every thought. There was no competing with that…he'd loved the girl ever since she'd sang all those years ago. I couldn't say exactly if I was jealous or not, but I was worried. She'd never said a word to him, and she was always so high and mighty. Sure, she had her problems, but so did everyone else. I was just worried for Peeta. Sooner or later, Katniss Everdeen was going to break his heart.

Before the silence became unbearable, I stood up and held my hand out to him, grinning. "Wanna have some fun before we see if we die or not?"

"Not funny, Ari," he said, laughing when I made a face at him. But he still took my hand, letting me lead him down an alleyway. "What act are you going to put on this time?" he asked eventually.

I grinned mischievously, glancing over my shoulder at him. Every year, just to make the Reaping a bit more bearable for me, I'd go give the Capitol people a hard time, each year in a different way and on a different person.

"What about taking on the family role of being drunk? Sound good?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Haymitch would love that, if he caught wind."

"Ah, he'd be proud," I said dismissively as we came into view of the bustling streets. "Now shut-up and cover for me." I tugged part of my hair out of the bun it was in, so I'd look even worse, and took off one shoe, handing it to Peeta who took it with a smile tugging at his lips.

Moving out of the shadows and into the bright sunshine, I began to stagger, not paying attention to who I would run into. Muttering slurred words under my breath, I glanced up at the sun and stumbled into someone. Someone who decided to shriek in my ear.

I looked up and saw that it wasn't just any Capitol person…it was Effie Trinket. Ha! Even better.

"Goodness! What is this?" she asked in her ridiculous, high-pitched voice, trying to take a step away from me. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and touched her curly pink wig.

"This's the brightest…pinkest color a hair I evah did seen," I slurred, sniffing it.

The woman shuddered and this time I let her step away from me. "You're filthy," she said in a disdainful voice, right as I swayed and fell to the ground, as if I had lost my balance when she'd moved away.

"Yer shiny," I said, laughing shrilly. My laugher became my real one when she sniffed at me and walked—or was it waddling?—away as fast as she could on her absurd shoes.

Shaking my head, I rolled to my knees and got to my feet, giving a thumbs up to Peeta, who was hiding in the shadows as he tried to contain his laughter. Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I began to skip circles around Capitol people, bumping into them and causing them to be disoriented before I finally made my way back to Peeta. Right as I was about to step in the shadows, though, I collided with something big and fell back, landing on my butt.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head as I looked up at the person I'd run into, only to see him looking down at me with a mixed expression of anger and…well, anger.

"What are you doing?" Gale Hawthorn asked, looking me over. I'm sure I was the best sight he'd see that day…or not. What a way to introduce myself to the attractive older boy. Way to go, Lunaria. Points for you!

"I, um, was having a bit of fun," I said, not taking my eyes off his dark ones.

"Fun," he said, like the word left a sour taste in his mouth. "How can you even think of that in a time like this? There's no room for fun in this world."

"Even dark times have their shades of light," I snapped back, taking note of the game bag slung over his shoulder. "Whether it's from terrorizing the Capitol people by acting like you're three years old again, or sneaking out into the woods to hunt, it's still your one bright spot you can count on."

His eyes grew colder as he glared at me. "That's different. I hunt to keep myself and my family alive."

"That's a hard task, keeping others alive," I said softly, "and it's not always possible to ensure your own safety in the midst of it."

"How would you know anything of it?" he growled at me. "You live a sheltered life." And, without waiting for a response, he walked away. Peeta jogged forward, holding a hand out to help me up.

"What was that all about?" he asked, watching Gale's retreating back.

"Oh, nothing," I said as I brushed my clothes off. "We just had different opinions, that's all."


"Hide," Uncle Haymitch hissed, closing all the shutters. "I can't lose you out there, Zinnia."

I sighed, walking over to him, taking his hands. I knew he was back in the past again with Zinnia, his dead girlfriend and my cousin I'd never met, the one that I resembled so much I could be her twin.

"It won't be me," I whispered to him, wiping his hair out of his agony-filled eyes. "You won't lose me, I promise." He seemed to relax, pulling me into a rough embrace.

"I didn't mean for her to die," he croaked out in his parched voice.

"I know," I said gently, "and so does she." We stood there, quiet for a few minutes, before I knew that we had to go. I pulled away, gesturing at him. "You need to go freshen up a bit, Uncle Haymitch. Gotta look pretty for those cameras."

He grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor, taking a long swig. "Stay."

"You know I can't. I'll see you out there…but only from the crowd, not the stage." Without another word, I left, not wanting to make this year's Reaping harder for him, like it was every year. There was nothing I could do to help him stop reliving the haunting memories of his past…the memories of the Games, his family, and his lover, Zinnia. I knew it was painful for him to just look at me, since I was so much like her…but if I ever left, if he'd never see me again…it'd just be worse for him. He'd go over the edge and never come back.

Some people said that he was useless, nothing but a violent drunk who spent all his days holed up in his house with a bottle in each hand, never able to keep a tribute alive. But they didn't know the truth. No one had ever seen the other side to him. They were all too scared and already had their minds made up. It made me both sad and angry, but I knew that, even if there were others who could see past his flaws, Uncle Haymitch wouldn't want them anywhere near him.

As I came nearer and nearer to the check in, the air became more and more unbearable. The terror and desperation on the kids' faces mixed with the agony of the watching parents, family, and older friends…it was enough to push anyone over the edge. If some little kid, this being their first year, was picked… I shuddered, unable to think of the outcome.

"Finger," said a female with the ever-present Capitol accent that lurked around the streets for the Reaping. As I handed her my finger, someone bumped into my shoulder. I turned my head to see Peeta standing at my side.

"You okay?" he asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have a feeling I'll be seeing plenty once the Games start," I replied, watching as my finger, followed by his, was pricked, matching our identities.

"But at least you'll still be alive to see them," he said in a low voice as we stepped away from the table. I took his hand, holding on like it was my lifeline.

"I'd rather see them as people, not horrifying memories." I looked into his eyes. "Stay safe, Peeta. I can't lose you."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey, how could you? My name's barely in there. It's you I'm worried about, Lunaria."

"Don't," I said, giving his hand a squeeze as we moved into the section roped off for the sixteen year olds.

"It's hard not to," he muttered.

We tried not to notice everything around us, but it was so tight and full, practically bursting at the seams, that it was hard not to look at the other kids. They were all clinging to each other, some sobbing while others were trying to be strong and keep it together for their friends or siblings, or, most likely, both. Peeta put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him as some of our friends made their way over to us, exchanging quiet hellos before falling silent, minds preoccupied.

It only took a few more minutes before the place was filled with all eight thousand citizens of District Twelve, all of whom were now facing the stage as Effie Trinket pranced into view. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone shake their head in irritation, and when I turned slightly to look, I saw Katniss was a few people away from me, eyes straight ahead, indifferent as ever. I was glad Peeta didn't notice.

Turning back to the stage, I noticed that Uncle Haymitch still wasn't there, but nobody else seemed to notice. That, or they didn't really care. The mayor began to speak, but I tuned him out, looking behind me at some of the twelve year olds. I really hoped all of them would be safe this year. There was nothing worse than one of the little kids being reaped in their first year…heading off to the slaughter.

My attention flew back to the stage when I heard Uncle Haymitch's voice yelling strangled words, and I saw that his condition was worse than when I'd left him. He was even more drunk now, something which I'd known he'd be. When he hugged Effie Trinket, much like I had only a half hour or so ago, Peeta and I laughed under our breaths.

"There's the family resemblance or trait or whatever. If she can't figure that out, it proves all Capitol people are complete and total airheads," I whispered to him, to which he shot me a look before smiling slightly.

"Let's not talk about that here," he said in a low voice. I nodded, giving him an apologetic smile, before we returned our attention back to the stage.

Personality terribly bubbly and voice absolutely way too bright, considering the circumstances, Effie Trinket trilled out, "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!" She grinned at all of our "happy and smiling faces" looking up at her before she continued.

"It is such a great honor to be here, and I know that you all feel that same way! Your expressions tell me everything, ladies and gentlemen, and I, too, am eager for the real fun to begin! So let's not waste more precious time, shall we?"

"Where the hell is her head at?" I asked Peeta.

"You know them," he said dryly, "always seeing the real world through rose-colored glasses."

"There's no better way to put it," I agreed as Effie Trinket pranced across the stage to the bowl with the girls' names in it, saying with a huge smile plastered on her face,

"Ladies first!" Peeta pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms protectively around me as if that would hide me from the world as she reached her hand in the bowl, taking her time and being dramatic as she "searched" for the "right" slip of paper. Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably only a couple seconds in reality, she pulled out a name and moved back to the podium, looking up at all of us before she unfolded the slip.

"Primrose Everdeen," she called in a loud, clear voice, beaming at any girl she laid eyes on, wondering who the "lucky" girl was.

I felt Peeta stiffen and everyone became deathly silent as all eyes turned towards the twelve-year old section. A deep pang of sadness ran through me as I watched the little blonde girl step out in the open, completely vulnerable, heading straight for her death. I wanted to do something about it, not wanting to see any little kid be murdered, but I knew this wasn't my place. And I wasn't thinking about me. If I did something about this, I'd put more people through hell than those who I would save for one other year.

So I stood by and watched as she slowly walked past us, trying to be strong, just like her sister, her head held eyes, hands clenched at her sides. It was then when all hell broke loose.

"Prim!" Katniss screamed in a pained voice. "Prim!" she yelled again as she made her way through the crowd, running to grab her little sister, putting herself between Prim and the stage, between her sure death.

"I volunteer!" she said in a loud, surprisingly strong voice. "I volunteer as tribute!" A ripple of confusion surged through the crowd, and everyone exchanged looks with one another, wondering how the prospect of volunteering actually worked. I chanced a glance at Peeta, who was staring straight at Katniss, a pained look in his eyes. There was nothing I could do to comfort him, to ensure him nothing would happen to her, because there was no way for me to know, or even guess. So I stayed silent as Prim was dragged away kicking and screaming from Katniss by Gale, who looked destroyed and furious all at once.

"…want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" Effie Trinket was saying to Katniss, who had taken her spot next to her. No one clapped, or even spoke a word. In fact, I think I was the first one to move, overcome with a sudden urge to show that, even though I wasn't sure I liked her, that I felt for her and the position she was in. I touched the three middle fingers of my left hand to my lips and held it out to her, holding her gaze when she met my eyes. She looked away when everyone else followed suit, like they had been thawed out from a deep freeze.

The moment couldn't have gotten any better…until Uncle Haymitch decided it was time for him to finally speak up. Several different emotions ran through me as he complimented her in his drunken attitude. Jealousy, hurt, pride, sadness, and several others. But they all were quickly replaced with embarrassment when he toppled off the stage while yelling at the cameras, knocking himself out. I gazed down at the ground, shaking my head as I hid it in Peeta's arm. I had to get him off the liquor.

"What an exciting day!" Effie Trinket said quickly, trying to get all the attention back on her. "But more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!" She quickly walked over and grabbed a slip out and all but ran back to the podium, reading the name out immediately.

"Peeta Mellark."

My world stopped and my heart broke when her words reached my ears, playing over and over again like a song that was meant to haunt my dreams. I was frozen, and so was Peeta, as fear slowly overtook shock for both of us.

"No," I whispered.

He started to pull away.

"Peeta, no!" I said, louder this time, clinging to him. "You can't—"

"Ari, let go. Please." His eyes bore into mine, begging.

"You can't leave! You can't!" I yelled as someone took me by the arm, holding me back so he could escape my grasp. "Peeta!" He turned his back on me and began the long trek up the stage as I fought whoever was holding on to me. They let me go, but by then it was too late. There was nothing I could do.

My head spinning and my body going numb, I dropped to my knees, seeing nothing, hearing nothing but his name being called over and over again. This couldn't be happening…his name was barely in there! He should've been one of the safest males out there… I wrapped my arms around myself, anger surfacing in my despair. There was nothing, nothing, I could do to help him.

As people started to slowly file out, I got to my feet, ignoring stares and sympathetic looks I was getting as I made my way to the empty stage, noting that the camera crews had left the tops of the buildings, knowing that meant I was as alone as you could get in this town.

I crouched down beside Uncle Haymitch's sprawled figure on the ground, knowing I didn't have much time. "Uncle Haymitch," I said. When he didn't respond, I shook his shoulders, slapping his face, saying louder, "Haymitch! Wake up!"

His eyes slowly opened and gazed at me. "Whah…?" he slurred out.

"I need you to focus. Focus on me and listen. Are you listening?" I asked, shaking his shoulders.

He sat up. "I'm listening, already! What's your problem, Zinnia?"

"No. I'm Lunaria. Listen to me Uncle Haymitch," I said, softening my tone some. "Remember the Reaping? Before you toppled off the stage, that is."

"I fell off the stage?" he repeated, not blinking.

"Yes, yelling insults at the cameras. That's not the point though. Peeta was Reaped for the boys."

He blinked, not comprehending. "Peeta."

"Yes, Peeta Mellark! My best friend! You've heard about him!" He still didn't show any form of recognition. I sighed, exasperated, knowing my time was almost up. "I don't care if you remember me talking about him or not. I need you to do your best to keep him alive."

"I—"

"Promise me!"I demanded, holding his gaze, which was still sharp, despite the alcohol.

"I promise I'll do what I can. But you know as well as I do that he's a dead man," he said eventually. Not saying another word, I got to my feet and took off running for the Justice Building, coming to a stop beside Peeta's mom, dad, and brothers. I couldn't even look at the one who could've volunteered in Peeta's place. Lots of family didn't volunteer for their siblings. What happened today was a rare thing, and it wasn't likely to ever happen again.

"Lunaria," Peeta's dad said, pulling me into a quick embrace while his wife just looked at me. Peeta's mom had never really liked me all that much, but why, I'd never found out.

"I don't know why you bothered to come," she said in a haughty voice.

"Because he's my friend," I said in a voice that suggested she drop the subject.

"He's dead. Already, he's dead," she said as a Peacekeeper came to take the first visitor to Peeta.

Peeta's dad pushed me forward. "You go first," he said quietly. Glancing over my shoulder, I mouthed thank-you to him as the Peacekeeper took my arm and led me to a room, opening the door so I could step inside.

Peeta was at a window, his broad shoulders hunched over as he looked out, unseeing. The weight of the world pressed down on me as the door was closed, and I launched myself at him, hating that I burst into tears.

He wrapped his arms around me, but he didn't say anything. And neither did I. Really, what could we say? What was there to say? It would be too painful to discuss anything, now. But I had to let him know I wasn't giving up on him.

"You're going to give them a force to reckon with," I said in a surprisingly strong voice. "You're not an easy target, and you're not completely defenseless."

"Lunaria…please. Just…don't."

"No, listen to me. You can, I know you can! Don't give up!" I gazed into his clouded blue eyes. "Forget anything you feel for Katniss Everdeen. She doesn't matter anymore, okay? You matter, and you need to come home."

He looked pained. "I'm not sure—"

"Don't leave me here alone."

"I'll never leave you alone," he replied automatically.

Fresh tears spilled from my eyes. "Then promise you'll give it you're all to come back to me."

"Only if you sing to me."

"Peeta!"

"I promise I'll try." Hugging him tighter, I ran through a list of songs in my head, selecting one that sounded strangely appropriate.

"'Run, run, run away…buy yourself another day. A cold wind's whisperin' secrets in your ear, so low only you can hear.

"'Run, run, run and hide…somewhere no one else can find. Tall trees bend and lean, pointing where to go…

"'Don't you fret my dear…it'll all be over soon. I'll be waiting here…for you.

"'Run fast as you can, where no one has to understand. Fly high across the sky from here to kingdom come and fall back down to where you're from… '"

I heard footsteps outside in the hall, and I knew our time was up. Despair overwhelming me, I lifted my head and kissed him quickly, surprising us both. The door opened and I hugged him one last time, trying to savor every second of it.

"Stay safe, Ari," he whispered as I stepped away.

"Only if you do."

He took a step toward me as the Peacekeeper grabbed my arm. "No! If I die don't—"

I never heard what he was going to say, because I was dragged out of the room, the door slamming shut behind me. Maybe that was a good thing, because I couldn't make promises to him that I knew I'd never be able to keep.

One of the lyrics kept running through my head as I made my way outside, dead to the world.

'Don't you fret my dear…it'll all be over soon. I'll be waiting here…for you.'


A/N: Well, there's not really much to say on this chapter because I gave you guys two things to read. Soo...just one question. How do you like the OC? Yeah, I can understand if it's too early for you to tell just yet. But let me know!

Oh and so now you guys see what I mentioned in my last A/N. It was never mentioned that Haymitch had a lover at one point, so it's up to my imagination, right? Besides, I think at least that it makes it more interesting. Ah well. It keeps me entertained getting to see Haymitch in a new light. But don't worry. He won't be too out of character, and he won't at all except for when he talks to Lunaria or her memories of him. Hope that's okay.

Haha so R&R guys! Thanks for reading!

Nike