Chapter Two: The Penguin

Disclaimer: If I owned Batman the Animated Series, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it.

Harley grabbed her bazooka, slid out of her dress, and sent the Penguin's goons at the Iceberg Lounge in flames.

However her partner, Poison Ivy, only sighed. "Subtlety was never her strong suit," she muttered disapprovingly. Then Pamela shrugged out of her elegant green gown, revealing a slim, form fitting leotard with tights. "Since our cover's blown," she said, "I might as well join the fun." Vaulting over the table, Poison Ivy somersaulted to Harley Quinn's side.

"You hold them off," she ordered. "And I'll secure the Penguin."

Harley nodded, for once completely serious. "Will do, Red. I'm going to see my Puddin' again."

Poison Ivy groaned again at Harley"s hopeless romanticism, then ran upstairs. If she knew the Penguin he'd be up there, hiding in his office surrounded by guards.

At the thought, her full lips curved into a smile. Ordinary men were simple to twist — thank goodness the Iceberg Lounge was notorious for hosting Gotham's worst villains. Batman would never think investigate this disturbance.

About to throw a vial of corrosive plant juices at the door, Poison Ivy glimpsed Penguin's portly form waddling away. She stayed her hand, smirking — it was too easy, but there was no mistaking his signature shape nor stride — and called enticingly, "Oh Penguin! Do wait a moment, I have something to tell you."

At the sound of her voice, the Penguin froze. Then he spun around, calling for his guards and bringing up his umbrella. But Poison Ivy dodged the spray of bullets; once he'd ran out of ammunition, she strutted forward and administered a single, juicy kiss on his pudgy forehead.

The Penguin immediately collapsed and Poison Ivy, hoisting him over her shoulder, dragged him down the stairs. "Harley!" she called. "It's time to go."

Below her, Harley Quinn stopped tossing laughing-gas grenades at the guards long enough to shout in reply, "On it, Red!" She cartwheeled out the front doors, deftly shooting the last two guardsmen as she left. Sliding into the hot-pink car, Harley revved the engine and cleared a space for the Penguin.

With a grunt, Poison Ivy dumped the Penguin in the back seat. Then she hopped in and yelled, "Let's go. Drive, Harls, drive!"

With a grin Harley did so, and the two of them sped off into the night, the unconscious Penguin lying in the back seat. Their mission had been a success, and hopefully so would the interrogation.

…...

Poison Ivy sighed, then said patiently in her sultry voice, "Penguin, please tell us where the Joker has gone."

"Honest! Honest to God! I don't know!" the Penguin protested. "Believe me, if I did I would tell you!"

Harley frowned. "I think he's lying, Red." She fingered her bazooka speculatively. "Shall I make him talk?"

"No, Harls," Poison Ivy replied. "I think that we should give him one more chance to rediscover his priorities…." she trailed off menacingly.

Penguin cowered in his seat. "Please, I don't know!"

"Such a shame, such a shame," Poison Ivy drawled. "Well, Harley—"

"Wait!" the Penguin interrupted desperately. "Wait!"

"Oh, he's only playing for time, Red. He hasn't got any real info." Harley said, disgusted.

"I assure you, Miss Quinn, that I do in fact have information." The Penguin seemed to have regained his composure. "I have a contact in South America —"

"Get to the point already!" Harley snapped.

The Penguin struggled against his bonds, but was unable to shoot Harley 'the bird' like he wanted. So he settled for a filthy look before continuing, "As I was saying, this contact helped the Joker escape Gotham. He would know where the clown went. I believe this source is currently in Oaxaca, Mexico. Would you like me to arrange a rendezvous?"

"Oooooooh, please do," Poison Ivy said. "Oaxaca sounds like a fascinating place to go gathering rare plant species."

Harley, on the other hand, simply looked dejected. "I'm not going to be able to play my April Fools joke on Mr. J, am I?"

Poison Ivy sighed. "No, Harls," she responded. "But perhaps you can do a belated prank."

"Fine," Harley pouted. Then she brightened with determination. "Let's go to this whoa-hacka place Red. I am agonna find my puddin' if it's the last thing I do."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Well, there's another chapter. I have to say, these silly, short fics are tons of fun to write. Plus, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are a dynamic duo — their interactions are so lighthearted and fun! :D