Chapter 2

I started my car, a bright orange Lamborghini Aventador. Its not my choice because of all the attention I get but its my baby . I never used to be interested in cars but I had a lot of time and this was a gift. I threw a fit when I got it and tried as hard as I could to give it back but my admirer wouldn't have any of it. I remember it sitting at the bottom of my driveway with a large red bow on the hood. It didn't surprise me that Alec was standing there with a hopeful smile on his face and a proud posture. Most women try to get his attention by flaunting themselves at him but he has always had his eye on me. Alec has been adamant to get my attention for two years now and every time I refuse to go out with him he goes off to plan his next move to get me. None have worked so far but I always get expensive gifts and I have learnt to accept them. It's not like he can't afford it.

I didn't need to tell anybody I was leaving because no one cared in this little town even though many tried to become my friend or boyfriend no one succeeded. I travelled for about 6 months after I left mystic falls, going on a road trip to think over my plans. There weren't that many of them and honestly all of them had one goal don't get attached to anybody or let myself care for them because they will get hurt. I know it's selfish for me to make this decision but it for their best. I guess that's how I will spend the rest of my dead life running away from anyone that shows interest in me. I never had any feeling towards Alec because me love has all been captured by Stefan.

I had to stop myself from thinking about him once again because I had to look like I had switched it off even though I'm a bubbly mess of emotions under a hard mask of protection. I floored it down the empty highway, I want to get there and leave as fast as possible. When I get there I will have to make sure that they think that I turned it all off as it will be safer for them. I have to remind myself because I can't let them figure it out. I hope they don't come up with some sort of plan because knowing me I would probably fall for it and they would be in danger once again. My phone buzzed showing a text message from my assistant asking to approve some meeting times for next week. The more work I get the happier I am having less time to think and drink. Damon would be proud of my bar little bar at home.

Home. I don't really have a home because my home is where the people I love are. That means that it is Mystic Falls which it can't be as I left everyone behind. Where I live now it's a shell of what a home should feel. But it doesn't because Mystic Falls will forever be my true home. I still own our old house but it is empty of life. I couldn't bring myself to sell it. It was my and Jeremy's childhood home. My parents lived there and so did my aunt Jenna and her boyfriend the history teacher and hunter Alaric Saltzman. So many people should still be alive but they aren't and every day I hope it was just a bad dream when I wake up but it turns out its my reality. I will always be the cause of their death. Sometimes I have to give myself a peptalk so I can get out of bed and go through a normal day.

The guilt I feel is unimaginable but that is the least I should have. Many would have turned it all off by now to make their life easier for themselves. I won't do that because it's a daily reminder of my existence and the cost of what I the people around me paid to keep me alive. Now I will have all eternity to keep myself alive. I have thought of suicide and to drink human blood so I would give myself over to my dark side. But I don't deserve to enjoy my life even though my parents would want me to, I'm the reason I am dead. I've had to slow down as I can hear a cop car not too far away. I don't really want to pay and I don't use my ability to compel. That is one of the perks of being a vampire. Why should I once again make my life easier?