I know it took forever to update this thing, but here it finally is. XD Some crack pairings (with some canon), and a cameo by my OC Philippines character (don't worry... she'll ONLY have cameos. I just needed another female to balance out all the male-ness going around).
Repotalia!: The Genetic Crack Opera
Chapter 1—"Genetic Repo Man"
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan! Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
It was the call. The warning. Someone was going to die by the hands of a legal assassin, a Repo Man. Liechtenstein clutched at her heart. She didn't owe the New British Empire anything, but she was still scared all the same. She had to get underground, the only place she could be safe.
This part of London was certainly shady. Stay inconspicuous, she reminded herself, looking down. Her old, conservative dresses were long gone; now due to her living conditions, all Liechtenstein wore to fit in were fishnets and tight leather. Her makeup was heavy and her hair unkempt. The only thing she kept from her past was the purple ribbon Switzerland had given her, a nostalgic reminder that they were once as close as brother and siste.
"Hey, lil' lady. You doin' anythin' tonight?"
Liechtenstein ignored the drunken slob and walked faster.
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
She jumped. She had to get inside, underground. She needed to get her mind off things. She needed the drug.
Liechtenstein found the opening and hurried inside. Was he there? Please let him be there.
She gasped as she glanced at the familiar faces. "Big bruder!" she cried, running to her savior during the epidemic.
"Hey there," he answered calmly, taking Liechtenstein into his embrace.
Liechtenstein gazed up at him with big, green eyes, noticing he had also just returned from his duties. "Big bruder… could I have some?" she asked sweetly.
He smiled that devilish smile, the dim light reflecting off his glasses. "You have a kiss for big bruder?" he teased.
She didn't have to be told twice. Liechtenstein didn't hesitate to stand on her toes and press her lips to his. When his tongue asked for entrance, she welcomed it. She was quite used to it; it'd been happening for around seventeen years now. It was for the drug. For that high she could only acquire when she used it.
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
The announcement interrupted the heated kiss. Terrified, Liechtenstein snuggled against the warm body. She noticed the Nordics huddled around the fire, Sweden and Finland especially close. Canada huddled against France and Greece, and Cuba stood close by, huffing away on a cigar.
Taiwan and the Philippines began to stride to where Liechtenstein was.
"Kuya America!" the Philippines, who preferred to be called by her human name, Alindogan (Ali for short), cried. She and Taiwan joined the group huddle.
"I'm scared!" Taiwan pouted, burying her face in America's arm.
America snickered. "Girls, girls. We've never dealt with those limey bastards. We have nothing to fear."
"Then if it's not us they're after, then… what are they after?" asked Taiwan.
"At the moment, I'm pretty sure it's Ukraine. A rumor's been going around that her country is falling behind on their organ payments."
"Poor Ukraine!" Liechtenstein piped up, sniffling. She knew Ukraine, and Ukraine didn't deserve this fate. She was too sweet.
"That England!" Ali cried, outraged. "If he weren't so powerful, I'd—"
"Now, now, who said anything about this world being fair?" said America. "If Ukraine fell into debt and if her organs are GeneCo's, England has the right to repossess whatever he owns. It's his law."
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
"It's still not fair!" Taiwan protested. "Ukraine would never hurt a fly!"
"Big bruder…" Liechtenstein whispered. "Why do we have to live like this? The Repo Men are so scary, big bruder; I can't imagine what they're going to do to Ukraine."
"What's going to happen to her, Kuya?" asked Ali.
America chuckled. "You want to know what happens when you try to outrun a Repo Man?"
Liechtenstein, Taiwan, and Ali nodded.
A sly smile appeared on America's face. "Then do I have a story for you."
"Is it scary, big bruder?" Liechtenstein kept snuggling closer to America for warmth and protection.
"It is," said America. "But it's reality, and sometimes reality can be scary."
Liechtenstein had to admit that America had gotten quite eccentric since the epidemic.
"Tell us, tell us!" Ali and Taiwan chorused.
"Okay, okay." Amerca led the trio around=d the fire, where the Nordics were sitting. Every one of the Underground Resistance glanced his or her eyes toward America, who stood before him.
He began his story as if it were a nursery rhyme or a fairy tale. "Out from the night, from the mist, steps the figure. No one really knows his name for sure. He stands at six-foot-six, head and shoulders. Pray he never comes knocking at your door."
"What is this, Alfred, a kiddie story?" Denmark snickered.
"The girls wanted to know what happens when you cross a Repo Man." America shrugged. "I'm just telling it like it is."
Above them were dashing footsteps and bangs of fists on doors. "Please!" a voice cried, obviously female. "Someone, help me! Let me in!"
Liechtenstein gasped. "Is that—"
America nodded before continuing. "Say that you once bought a heart or new corneas, but somehow never managed to square away your debts. He won't bother to write or to phone you; he'll just rip the still-beating heart from your chest!"
Taiwana and Ali gulped.
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
"Someone help me! Anyone! Please!"
"Now you could run. You could hide, you could try to. But he always has a way of finding you. He will come at your weakest hour, when no one is around who might rescue you."
"Big bruder, we have to help her!" Liechtenstein cried, tears welling in her eyes.
"And start a war with the New British Empire? That's suicidal!" Iceland retorted. "Our armies are not as strong as they once were, and not to mention we don't have the financial backing to get involved in battle."
"What does that have to do with Ukraine?" said Ali. "I say we hide her here."
"Technically, she belongs to the New British Empire," Finland explained. "It was in her contract when she received surgery. If we steal British property, there's no doubt England's wrath will be fierce."
"And besides, even if we engaged in a war, let's not forget little Liechtenstein doesn't even have an army," Cuba piped up.
"Hate to break it to you, Ali, but these three have a point. If we engaged in war with the New British Empire, we're sure to lose," said America solemnly. "And sadly, Ukraine just isn't worth it."
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan! Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
"No, no… Please, don't—" There was a blood-curdling scream that was cut off by a gurgling noise. Liechtenstein began to cry.
"An'th'r c'mrade l'st t'the Brit'sh 'Mp're," Sweden sighed.
There was silence until America decided to finish his tale. "And none of us are free from this horror, for many years ago we all in debt. New body parts were needed to perfect our image, and until our debts are cleared, we will in fear of the—"
"Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan! Reeeeeeepo Maaaaaaan!"
"Big bruder!" Liechtenstein leapt from her seat and into America's arms. "Please," she said, muffled against his chest. "I-I need the drug. I know it's for surgery, but it helps me forget, too…"
America gently lifted Liechtenstein's chin and smiled. "I'll give you a hit if you give me another kiss."
Liechtenstein immediately complied.
Well, is this OOC or what? XD But that's why it's called The Genetic CRACK Opera.
Next chapter: "Things You See in a Graveyard." England calls in his subordinates for a chat. We see the Italy brothers are certainly silent.
