12/23/01 HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! Oh my Tallest, I got more fic!!! Sorry for the
insane length of time this has taken. The chapter after was giving me the
most amazing difficulty. And yes, I'll admit it, I was reading 'Fellowship
of the Ring' when I should've been writing. I couldn't help it! Greater
people than I have been tempted by the One Ring. Anyone who hasn't seen
that movie yet...what are you waiting for?!!! It kicks so much ass it's not
even funny. I'll probably see it again before it leaves theaters, but I'm
definitely reading the series. I can NOT wait till next Christmas for a
continuation of that cliffhanger.
Anyhoo, anyone interested might wanna check out my little bloggy-thing at http://invadertat.diaryland.com. In it I talk about when I'm updating, review movies and stuff, and scream about all the new Invader Zim merchandise at Hot Topic (THEY'VE GOT BEANIE HATS!!!! WITH ZIM!!!! MUST BUY!!!!!). So if you wanna know about upcoming fics and such, drop on by. I'd love visitors!! And if my egotistical Irken alter-ego shows up, just ignore her.
Anyway, I think I'll dedicate this chapter to my bestest friend TD, as it was his idea to do this POV, and to Lacey, because she's such a fangirl ^_~. And to everyone reading, for that matter. I can't believe the reviews are still coming in, you people make me feel so loved!!!! happy sobs THANK YOU!!! Just think of this as my Christmas gift to you all...or holiday of your choice, heh ^_^. Hope you guys enjoy! Bring the pain!!!
Disclaimer (Don'tcha love these?): Invader Zim belongs to the Almighty Thinnest Jhonen Vasquez, and his army of doom-sporks, and the sentient dust- bunnies at Nickelodeon. Aw, aren't they cute? I do this only out of the deepest respect for the characters and the great, great mind that created them. I mean it. Vasquez, if you're reading...damn you're a genius.
Oh, Dev and Zey, and any other characters NOT from Invader Zim, are mine. If Vasquez wanted to use them he could, but you guys aren't Vasquez, so ask first, please.
Any reviews you give to me will pleeeee-ase Pustulio! Flames will be treated with the same loving care you would expect from Nny, and any survivors will be fed to my pet Velociraptor.
___________
Spectre
___________
-You won't ever amount to much
You won't be anyone
Now tell me what you were thinking of
How could you think you would be enough
It's not that you have stayed too long
And it's not that you've done something wrong
It's not your fault
That you embarass us all-
-'Hand Me Down', Wallflowers
-We'd let you leave,
But no one else wants you
Your ransom was not made,
Now you don't have to stand up tall,
But now baby you must stand up-
-'Witness', Wallflowers
-Chapter Two: Purple -Contempt-
"Refresh my memory. Why did we come to this stinking backwater planet in the first place?" Red is bored. He lays back in his command chair, trying to balance a slender pen on the tip of one equally slender finger. Images of said backwater planet cross the main viewscreen, and he ignores them. I swear, if it doesn't involve eating or fighting, he could care less.
"I've told you a hundred times already."
"I wasn't listening." His eyes never leave the pen. It topples off his finger for the fourth time in as many minutes, and he catches it effortlessly and starts all over again.
"And what assurance do I have that you'll be listening this time?" I snap as I cross my arms.
He curses softly under his breath as the pen falls again. "I probably won't be."
Oh, for the love of...
I bury my face in my hands, and rub my forehead. I feel a headache coming on. Of course, that's customary. The day Red's attitude doesn't give me a headache will be the day Irk has one less Tallest.
"We are here for two reasons. First, to take care of this miserable race before it becomes a threat."
He barks a laugh, and the pen falls again. "You're joking, right?"
"Weren't you watching the footage Zim sent back? Wait, never mind, of course you weren't. These earthenoids may be pathetic, and stinking, and ugly, and ridiculously stupid, and-"
"Yeah yeah, get to the point!" he growls as the pen falls again. I glare at him, but he's not looking and doesn't notice.
"I was about to before you interrupted me. Despite their many...MANY flaws, these people seem to be adaptable. With Zim's base at their disposal, and given enough time, they might be able to develop ships, and weapons. And while they'll be pathetically outmatched by our... superiorness, they'll still be more of a nuisance than they are now. And of course there's alway the chance that one of the more advanced races in the universe will see that we let the earthenoids live, and will get into their empty heads the idea that they might be able to stand up to our great might, and-"
He curses again as that damned pen falls. I think my eyelid is starting to twitch. He turns when he notices I've stopped talking.
"So what's the second reason?" What, he's actually listening now? Miracle of miracles.
"The second reason is, of course, that most valid and noble reason of all. Revenge."
He's back to his little balancing act, but is apparently still paying some attention. "Revenge? For what?"
"For a direct strike against the great and powerful Irken Empire, of course. They dared to attack and capture an Irken soldier, and so deserve immediate and mostly painful death."
Another laugh jumps from his throat, this one tinged with disbelief. "You mean ZIM?! Come on! He wasn't a soldier. He was barely even an Irken." He snorts, disgust crossing his face. "No proper Irken is that short."
"It doesn't matter."
"But Zim was an embarassment! We WANTED him to end up like that!"
"...Do you want to blow the stinking place up or not?"
"Oh, when you put it that way..." he shrugs and goes back to his little game, balancing that pen...that awful, awful pen. I'm playing with the idea of ripping that pen out of his hands and jabbing it into one of his vital organs when he looks up at me.
"You want somethin' to eat?" As soon as he says it I'm hungry. It's like one of the great rules of the cosmos or something, the minute someone asks if you want to eat, you will, even if you weren't thinking about it mere seconds ago.
"Yeah, but I don't know what. I feel like a..."
"Cheese sandwich!" he cries.
Mm...cheese..."But I don't want a sandwich. I want...I want..." Eureka..."Nachos!"
He hits the com button on his chair to make the order, but frowns at me over his shoulder. "Nachos? Over a cheese sandwich? What's wrong with you?"
If I never suspected his intelligence before, I do now. "What's wrong with you? Nachos are the penultimate food group! They're the universe's best snack food! There is no greater food than nachos!"
"You're crazy. A good cheese sandwich beats your nachos any day. With their runny melted cheese, and that hideous smell...not to mention they'll kill you eventually." He nods sagely, as if he actually cared about the health value of his food. "Yep. Stinky gooey doom, that's what they are."
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Oooh, food!" I grab a tray from the short soldier that just entered the bridge. A plain cheese sandwich sits beside a box of steaming nachos. Aah, the sweet sweet stink of processed cheese. Red grabs his sandwich and I take a huge gulp of my Glorp soda before diving into the nachos. I'm in cheesy heaven.
"Hey. Give me a nacho." I don't even look up, merely roll my eyes as I pass the chip over. We go through this almost every day. I lick the dripping cheese off my fingers and continue eating, and ignore it when Red starts to reach over every few minutes to snatch another chip off the pile.
After a while of food-induced silence, broken only by the beeps of consoles and the swish of the crew's uniforms as they work, Red starts to snicker. It's the kind of snicker that says he's just thought of something hilarious, and if I don't ask him now he'll keep snickering until I break down or he breaks down and tells me. I sigh, resigned to my asking fate. "What's so funny?"
"Did you see the look on Zim's face when I did that whole 'die for your leaders' bit?"
I can't help but laugh at that. "His jaw nearly hit the floor! But he was sure pissed. I didn't even know the shrimp had it in him. That glare he sent you could've fried the fur off a Slaughtering Rat Person."
"He was glaring at you."
"He was glaring at you!"
"No, you!"
"You!"
"You!
"YOU!"
"Whatever." He turns away in a slight huff, starts to cross his arms, then settles for grabbing his cup and taking a furious sip. A slurping noise escapes the straw as he reaches the last of his drink, and the sound echoes through the bridge.
"So when do we get to rain some doom down upon this spinning ball of filth?"
I push a button on my chair and a holographic timer pops up and hovers over the arm, counting down the minutes till the planet's death. "They've got ten hours."
He leans back in his chair again, juts out his lower lip. "Why did we even give them a deadline anyway? It's a waste of time."
"We had to give them a chance to surrender."
"Why?" Oh Irk. He's picked up that damned pen again. Must...find something...to distract him!
"Because it's so much fun to catch 'em off guard. Let them think we'll grant them mercy, get all relieved and happy, THEN blow the stinking planet up!" He considers this for a moment, finger tapping against his chin, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
"I knew there was a reason I kept you around. So, when can we get out the confetti and streamers?"
_____
'Hand Me Down' and 'Witness', written by Jakob Dylan. Copyright Jumbo Brothers Music/ASCAP. Performed by The Wallflowers. Album, Breach. Most of this CD makes me think of Zim, and with quotes like those you can see why. This album is absolutely exquisite, one of my all time favorites, so soothing even in the midst of hyperness ^_^. If you've heard 'Sleepwalker' on the radio you've had a sampling. I urge everyone to go, buy this CD!!! Or at least rent it from your local library or something.
Anyhoo, anyone interested might wanna check out my little bloggy-thing at http://invadertat.diaryland.com. In it I talk about when I'm updating, review movies and stuff, and scream about all the new Invader Zim merchandise at Hot Topic (THEY'VE GOT BEANIE HATS!!!! WITH ZIM!!!! MUST BUY!!!!!). So if you wanna know about upcoming fics and such, drop on by. I'd love visitors!! And if my egotistical Irken alter-ego shows up, just ignore her.
Anyway, I think I'll dedicate this chapter to my bestest friend TD, as it was his idea to do this POV, and to Lacey, because she's such a fangirl ^_~. And to everyone reading, for that matter. I can't believe the reviews are still coming in, you people make me feel so loved!!!! happy sobs THANK YOU!!! Just think of this as my Christmas gift to you all...or holiday of your choice, heh ^_^. Hope you guys enjoy! Bring the pain!!!
Disclaimer (Don'tcha love these?): Invader Zim belongs to the Almighty Thinnest Jhonen Vasquez, and his army of doom-sporks, and the sentient dust- bunnies at Nickelodeon. Aw, aren't they cute? I do this only out of the deepest respect for the characters and the great, great mind that created them. I mean it. Vasquez, if you're reading...damn you're a genius.
Oh, Dev and Zey, and any other characters NOT from Invader Zim, are mine. If Vasquez wanted to use them he could, but you guys aren't Vasquez, so ask first, please.
Any reviews you give to me will pleeeee-ase Pustulio! Flames will be treated with the same loving care you would expect from Nny, and any survivors will be fed to my pet Velociraptor.
___________
Spectre
___________
-You won't ever amount to much
You won't be anyone
Now tell me what you were thinking of
How could you think you would be enough
It's not that you have stayed too long
And it's not that you've done something wrong
It's not your fault
That you embarass us all-
-'Hand Me Down', Wallflowers
-We'd let you leave,
But no one else wants you
Your ransom was not made,
Now you don't have to stand up tall,
But now baby you must stand up-
-'Witness', Wallflowers
-Chapter Two: Purple -Contempt-
"Refresh my memory. Why did we come to this stinking backwater planet in the first place?" Red is bored. He lays back in his command chair, trying to balance a slender pen on the tip of one equally slender finger. Images of said backwater planet cross the main viewscreen, and he ignores them. I swear, if it doesn't involve eating or fighting, he could care less.
"I've told you a hundred times already."
"I wasn't listening." His eyes never leave the pen. It topples off his finger for the fourth time in as many minutes, and he catches it effortlessly and starts all over again.
"And what assurance do I have that you'll be listening this time?" I snap as I cross my arms.
He curses softly under his breath as the pen falls again. "I probably won't be."
Oh, for the love of...
I bury my face in my hands, and rub my forehead. I feel a headache coming on. Of course, that's customary. The day Red's attitude doesn't give me a headache will be the day Irk has one less Tallest.
"We are here for two reasons. First, to take care of this miserable race before it becomes a threat."
He barks a laugh, and the pen falls again. "You're joking, right?"
"Weren't you watching the footage Zim sent back? Wait, never mind, of course you weren't. These earthenoids may be pathetic, and stinking, and ugly, and ridiculously stupid, and-"
"Yeah yeah, get to the point!" he growls as the pen falls again. I glare at him, but he's not looking and doesn't notice.
"I was about to before you interrupted me. Despite their many...MANY flaws, these people seem to be adaptable. With Zim's base at their disposal, and given enough time, they might be able to develop ships, and weapons. And while they'll be pathetically outmatched by our... superiorness, they'll still be more of a nuisance than they are now. And of course there's alway the chance that one of the more advanced races in the universe will see that we let the earthenoids live, and will get into their empty heads the idea that they might be able to stand up to our great might, and-"
He curses again as that damned pen falls. I think my eyelid is starting to twitch. He turns when he notices I've stopped talking.
"So what's the second reason?" What, he's actually listening now? Miracle of miracles.
"The second reason is, of course, that most valid and noble reason of all. Revenge."
He's back to his little balancing act, but is apparently still paying some attention. "Revenge? For what?"
"For a direct strike against the great and powerful Irken Empire, of course. They dared to attack and capture an Irken soldier, and so deserve immediate and mostly painful death."
Another laugh jumps from his throat, this one tinged with disbelief. "You mean ZIM?! Come on! He wasn't a soldier. He was barely even an Irken." He snorts, disgust crossing his face. "No proper Irken is that short."
"It doesn't matter."
"But Zim was an embarassment! We WANTED him to end up like that!"
"...Do you want to blow the stinking place up or not?"
"Oh, when you put it that way..." he shrugs and goes back to his little game, balancing that pen...that awful, awful pen. I'm playing with the idea of ripping that pen out of his hands and jabbing it into one of his vital organs when he looks up at me.
"You want somethin' to eat?" As soon as he says it I'm hungry. It's like one of the great rules of the cosmos or something, the minute someone asks if you want to eat, you will, even if you weren't thinking about it mere seconds ago.
"Yeah, but I don't know what. I feel like a..."
"Cheese sandwich!" he cries.
Mm...cheese..."But I don't want a sandwich. I want...I want..." Eureka..."Nachos!"
He hits the com button on his chair to make the order, but frowns at me over his shoulder. "Nachos? Over a cheese sandwich? What's wrong with you?"
If I never suspected his intelligence before, I do now. "What's wrong with you? Nachos are the penultimate food group! They're the universe's best snack food! There is no greater food than nachos!"
"You're crazy. A good cheese sandwich beats your nachos any day. With their runny melted cheese, and that hideous smell...not to mention they'll kill you eventually." He nods sagely, as if he actually cared about the health value of his food. "Yep. Stinky gooey doom, that's what they are."
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Oooh, food!" I grab a tray from the short soldier that just entered the bridge. A plain cheese sandwich sits beside a box of steaming nachos. Aah, the sweet sweet stink of processed cheese. Red grabs his sandwich and I take a huge gulp of my Glorp soda before diving into the nachos. I'm in cheesy heaven.
"Hey. Give me a nacho." I don't even look up, merely roll my eyes as I pass the chip over. We go through this almost every day. I lick the dripping cheese off my fingers and continue eating, and ignore it when Red starts to reach over every few minutes to snatch another chip off the pile.
After a while of food-induced silence, broken only by the beeps of consoles and the swish of the crew's uniforms as they work, Red starts to snicker. It's the kind of snicker that says he's just thought of something hilarious, and if I don't ask him now he'll keep snickering until I break down or he breaks down and tells me. I sigh, resigned to my asking fate. "What's so funny?"
"Did you see the look on Zim's face when I did that whole 'die for your leaders' bit?"
I can't help but laugh at that. "His jaw nearly hit the floor! But he was sure pissed. I didn't even know the shrimp had it in him. That glare he sent you could've fried the fur off a Slaughtering Rat Person."
"He was glaring at you."
"He was glaring at you!"
"No, you!"
"You!"
"You!
"YOU!"
"Whatever." He turns away in a slight huff, starts to cross his arms, then settles for grabbing his cup and taking a furious sip. A slurping noise escapes the straw as he reaches the last of his drink, and the sound echoes through the bridge.
"So when do we get to rain some doom down upon this spinning ball of filth?"
I push a button on my chair and a holographic timer pops up and hovers over the arm, counting down the minutes till the planet's death. "They've got ten hours."
He leans back in his chair again, juts out his lower lip. "Why did we even give them a deadline anyway? It's a waste of time."
"We had to give them a chance to surrender."
"Why?" Oh Irk. He's picked up that damned pen again. Must...find something...to distract him!
"Because it's so much fun to catch 'em off guard. Let them think we'll grant them mercy, get all relieved and happy, THEN blow the stinking planet up!" He considers this for a moment, finger tapping against his chin, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
"I knew there was a reason I kept you around. So, when can we get out the confetti and streamers?"
_____
'Hand Me Down' and 'Witness', written by Jakob Dylan. Copyright Jumbo Brothers Music/ASCAP. Performed by The Wallflowers. Album, Breach. Most of this CD makes me think of Zim, and with quotes like those you can see why. This album is absolutely exquisite, one of my all time favorites, so soothing even in the midst of hyperness ^_^. If you've heard 'Sleepwalker' on the radio you've had a sampling. I urge everyone to go, buy this CD!!! Or at least rent it from your local library or something.
