Wow, shameshameshame on me! I haven't posted ANYTHING in quite a while! Well, after a fight over a pair of sunglasses with my cousin, I got an idea for a continuation ofmy random Turk story! Yes, I know I should be working on my last chapter of the ongoing fic, people are actually telling me to update ;; Sorry, I'm about, uh... one sixth of my way through it? Heh, people are gonna hate me now. Anywhoo, more randomness from Reno and Rude, my favourite Turks!
Disclaimer: If I owned Reno and Rude, would this fiction be rated the way it is? Didn't think so.
Reno sat down at his desk and slumped down onto the wooden surface, holding his throbbing head. It felt like someone was smashing his skull with a sledgehammer. His bloodshot eyes were closed tightly in a wince of pain, and his messy red hair fell over his hands as they ran over his aching head. God, he would never drink like that again- or until the next time he goes to the bar.
It was a few days after he and Rude returned from the mission in Gongaga Village, and since it was raining once again, they had decided to catch up on paperwork. Okay, Rude would be doing paperwork, Reno would spend the day complaining about his hangover. Reno looked at the clock hung above the door, and it read 10:37. The redhead groaned and folded his arms on the table, and hid his face in them. He could swear that damn minute hand was going backwards.
Rude sat across the room from the suffering man, pen scribbling away at the assortment of papers scattered across his desk. Rude knew the importance of paperwork, even if he hated it as much as the next person. He, unlike Reno, didn't crumple the papers up and play 21 with the trash bin, or set them on fire, or fold them into airplanes and throw them across the room. It was obvious Rude was the more mature one of the two. He only drank a fraction of what his best friend did, and we woke up with a minor headache that was dulled down easily by a couple painkillers. Reno, on the other hand, looked like he needed morphine pills in a pez dispenser.
Rude was continuing on with paperwork, and Reno was… well, half asleep, when Tseng walked into the room, a couple folders with, you guessed it, more paperwork in them. The Turk leader looked at Reno and shook his head. "Drinking again, Reno?" He asked in a slightly stern, pre-lecture voice. The man groaned.
"Don't yell- headache." he mumbled, managing to look up at his boss.
The wutaian man shook his head again. "Well, are you alright?" He may be a bit stern, but Tseng did have concern for his Turks' health.
Reno looked up at him with bloodshot green eyes. The light stung them, and he had to close them again. "I've consumed enough alcohol to make me forget what my last name is, and I woke up in my bathtub." he responded almost painfully, rubbing his sore back. Have you ever woken up in a bathtub? It hurts like a bitch, especially if the big silver tap thing was jabbing your shoulder blade while you slept.
Rude laughed a little and looked up from his work. He looked at his friend through the dark lenses of his sunglasses. Why doesn't he take those damn glasses off once in a while? Who cares, he looks cool with them. "Please tell me you were clothed?"
"Partially." Reno responded, causing Rude to laugh again and Tseng to smack his forehead with his palm. He couldn't believe some of the stories he heard from Reno, he would surely get himself killed one day.
"I can't believe you got so drunk you woke up in the bathtub, Reno, and when you have work the next day, too." Tseng mumbled. Reno sensed a lecture about drinking coming on.
Rude shrugged. "It's not the first time it happened to him." He then turned to his friend. "Remember that time you woke up in the dryer? That had to be worse."
Reno nodded. "That wasn't even in my apartment building." He sat up a little and brought a hand to his face. "I always say: It's not a good time unless you wake up saying 'Who are you, and why are my pants on the ceiling fan?'" He said in a matter-of-factly voice.
"Said the virgin." Rude snickered. Reno half glared at him through his throbbing headache.
"Stuff it!"
Tseng looked from Reno, to Rude, and back to Reno again He sighed and placed the folders on Rude's desk. He knew with Rude, the papers would get done, instead of crumpled, burned, or shredded like if Reno were to have them. "You two need help…" he told them before walking out of the room. Reno was still glaring at Rude, but then looked confused. "How did you know I was a virgin?"
Rude smiled and shrugged. "I guessed., seeing as you're not a real hit with the ladies-" He was cut off by a little box of paperclips being hurled at his head. The bald man yelped and ducked, almost falling out of his chair.
"Take that back!" Reno yelled, immediately wincing in pain at the volume of his shout. He then slumped back down, rubbing his temples in a futile attempt ease away the headache.
Rude sat up and chucked the box back at his partner. "Bite me." he growled, seemingly not too impressed with being bombed with office supplies. Reno looked at him, not even moving as the box whizzed by his head. Rude shook his head and pulled his rolling chair back up to his desk and picked up his pen again. "How about you do some work for once, Reno?" he suggested to the sore man. It wouldn't kill him to at least try to accomplish one piece of paperwork. The last time Reno had put pen to paper in a productive manner was so long ago not even he remembered. Well, of coarse he couldn't remember now, he couldn't remember the contents of his last meal, even if he did re-taste it merely an hour ago.
Reno looked like he was about to say something, but he just sat up. He rolled his chair out from behind the desk, facing backwards and pushing with his feet. He made his way across the room and over to Rude's desk. He twirled around the chair so he was facing the bald man. Rude looked up at him from behind his sunglasses, and Reno gave him one of those 'I'm-gonna-make-today-hell-for-you' grins. His headache magically seemed to be fading. The redhead reached over and snatched Rude's sunglasses.
"How about… I don't?" the smaller man laughed before pushing on the desk and speeding away on his rolling chair. Oh, he was in for it now.
Rude stood up, giving Reno a glare. Those were his $300 custom-friggin'-made sunglasses! And if you know Rude, you know you DON'T mess with the shades. Most people fuss about their hair, Rude is the same- except with his bad-ass custom eyewear. "Give those back." he warned, walking around his desk and over to Reno.
Reno just grinned again and kicked away on his chair, colliding with the wall. "Now, why would I want to do that?" he said innocently. Rude's narrowed blue eyes gave him a look that just promised a slow, painful demise. He walked closer, almost cornering the smaller man.
"Because if you don't I'll shove that chair up your-"
"Wow, they called you Rude for a reason, eh?" Reno said with a laugh, tossing the expensive shades in the air and catching them. Rude lunged and grabbed him, pulling him into a headlock. They stumbled into the middle of the room, and started an epic battle for the sunglasses. Whatever happened to Reno's migraine? Hell if I know.
Now, Rude, being much stronger and with no hair for Reno to pull on, won the fight easily. He snatched his sunglasses back, which were now a little more than slightly damaged. One of the lenses was broken, and the frame was snapped in six places. "You're paying for this!" He said, sitting on the floor and examining the fight's one casualty.
Reno sat up, since he had been thrown to the carpeted ground like he weighed nothing. He probably does weigh nothing, have you seen how skinny that guy is? Whew, give him a sandwich or something! Sorry, back to the story-
"There's no way in hell I'm paying for those!" He hissed, rubbing his bruising arm. His hair was now a complete mess, much worse than before. His blue blazer was half off-How did that happen? I'll leave that one to the fangirls- and his left shoe was across the room. He suddenly looked very shocked and pointed to behind Rude. "Why's there a stripper on your desk?"
Rude raised an eyebrow, and being a typical guy, turned to look at his desk. When he saw no such thing there, he was confused. "Reno, are you ins- " He was just off by a wave of electricity going through his body, courtesy of Reno. He fell down in a half-smouldering heap on the floor. Reno stood up with his electro-rod in one hand, laughing hysterically.
"God… I hate you." Rude coughed, looking up at the giddy redhead.
"And I love you too." Reno responded once he stopped laughing, twirling his weapon like a baton. He still had that grin on his face. "Bitch." Hewas about to go back to his desk to resume doing absolutely nothing, but as he glanced out the doorhe sawElena standing in the doorway, blinking at them in a shocked trance. Who knows how long she was there, possibly five, ten minutes? In her hands she held stacks of paperwork designated to the two, but maybe it was safer if she do it by herself.
She looked from Rude, who was twitching slightly from the electric shock, to Reno, who was looking quite proud of himself. She then shook her head. "Why can't we have just one quiet, productive day like normal companies?" she asked out loud before slowly walking away.
There you go, people! I know, I need to get working on other things, and I need to get a life, but meh. I am more of an impulsive writer. Sorry if Rude seems a little OOC, I just think hewould talkmore when he's around co-workers and friends.
Oh, and now, I'm going to do whatI see peopleoften doin other fics- reply to the reviews I have recieved!
The Tiramisu Of Impending Doom: Thank you, I'm glad someone found it at leastslightly amusing!
Cueball: Well, here is another chapter for you! Glad you liked the first one.
Trigun0gt1844vv0: Rude says he'll do it for 600 gil and a six pack of beer.
k i y a r a: Thank you very much! I think I know what you mean, and I'll try to keep it in mind next time I write something ((I saw your review just after I wrote this, so you may not see much change here)) Thank you for the lengthy and helpful review, and I'm really glad you liked that one quote, I was afraid people would hate it!
