Yosh! I am back! And yes, the forbidden zone is the Women's Bathroom (echo echo)!! I asked one of my friends about that, and she said the two forbidden zones she could think of were the women's bathroom and Victoria's Secret… so, yeah. It was the bathroom. I also introduce my FMA alter ego, Melody! She's Roy's little 15 year old sister (pretty much like him; black hair that's in a pony tail most of the time, black eyes, Flame Alchemist). She's a state alchemist, but she's also Lieutenant Colonel. She's a child prodigy! Therefore, she does the evil paperwork! AAAHH! She's best friends with Riza and has a fox named September. She's nice and caring, but can be mean when the occasion comes. Also, I'm putting my friend's alter ego in. Her name's Kaminari Havoc (Havoc's 18 year old sister). She's an alchemist, I don't know what she does, but she loves Roy and Black Hayate. She's also Melody's friend. GASP! I've been struck by inspiration!!! A little thing called… SHAVING HAIR!! AND ROY SPAZZING!!!!!

Roy: I am Colonel Mustang. I don't spazz.

MattsyKun: (rather demonically) you'll spazz when I want you to spazz!

Roy: (squeaks and hides) help me!

Standard Disclaimer Applies- I own only Melody. Kaminari belongs to my friend.

Roy walked grudgingly into the bathroom. It smelt like lavender and had light blue colored wallpaper. This bathroom was set up like a nice locker room. There was a nice sink with a basket of flowers in it. A row of lockers was on one wall. Roy could read the name tags on them, going in this order:

Lt. Riza Hawkeye

Sheska

Lt. Colonel Melody Mustang

2nd Lt. Maria Ross

Kaminari Havoc

Empty Locker

Empty Locker

"Um… Lieutenant?" Roy ventured. Riza went to Melody's locker and opened it, even though they were combination locks. She reached inside and pulled out a bottle of shampoo.

"Go wash your hair with this," Riza said, giving him a towel, "I'll be back in five minutes."

As Riza went back to her office, she saw Kaminari and Melody walking towards the woman's bathroom.

Where Roy was.

Naked.

Maruhadaka. (Nude, utterly stark naked, wearing only one's birthday suit. That's what my JquickTrans program says.)

"WAIT!" Riza yelled, running as fast as she could back down the hallway. Too late. Kaminari opened the door on a Roy wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. The sight was too much for Kaminari. "Roy no Hadaka!" she whispered. A nosebleed followed, and then she crumpled to the ground. Riza sweatdropped and begged Melody not to tell anyone what happened.

"If the higher ups find out, we'll all get demoted!" Riza hissed. Melody gestured at Kaminari. "What about her?"

"Take her to your office, and if anyone asked, she passed out from heat exhaustion." Riza said, "And if you tell anyone, I will kill you." Riza growled, frightening the younger Mustang. She nodded frantically, picked up her friend, and ran back to her office.

"Are you dressed, sir?" Riza said, although the little part of her brain labeled Impure Thoughts wanted to see him nude. (Every man has an inner perv [unless they're a perv already, and every woman has that little part of their brain with a giant label that says Impure Thoughts. Don't deny it.)

"Yeah."

Riza walked in and shut the door just as Fuery and Falman walked past.

"Are you okay, Lieutenant?" Fuery asked. A soft yes floated through the closed door. The two men outside looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to work.

Roy was indeed dressed (slightly to Riza's dismay), wearing a t-shirt and shorts that was in one of the spare locker. "You just never know." Roy had told Melody, who had sweatdropped and went back to proofreading the paperwork. Riza dried off Roy's hair using the blow dryer in Melody's locker. His hair was right back in the position that it was in before. Riza briefly ran her fingers through Roy's hair before taking the bottle with green liquid and pouring some into her hand.

"This might sting a little…" Riza said. Roy snorted.

"I can take it." After all, he was the hero of the Ishval War.

Two seconds later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone looked up from their work, wondering where the screaming was coming from. They didn't notice the lack of Mustang or Hawkeye, so they went back to work.

"It burns!" Roy whimpered as Riza rubbed the green liquid into his hair.

"Just deal with it, sir." Riza said. Roy howled again as she poured more onto his hair.

"Now go wash it out again."

"Why did you ask if I was dressed then?" Roy said angrily. Riza had to refrain from taking her gun out. She opened the door and stuck her head out to make sure the coast was clear.

"Just do it. I'll be back."

Roy grumbled and got back into the shower as Riza left.

Meanwhile Major Armstrong was looking for Roy. He had a stack of paperwork with him.

"Hello, Lieutenant. Have you seen the Colonel?" Armstrong asked. A fleeting feeling of fear shot through her body (kind of like the thrill of sneaking around a house and trying not to get caught).

"N-No, Major Armstrong, I haven't. Have you tried his office?" Riza said, hoping her face wasn't showing anything. Apparently it wasn't because Armstrong said he hadn't tried there and went on his merry little way.

A couple of minutes later Riza went back to the bathroom (on the excuse of the nasty-ass coffee).

"Are you done?"

Roy nodded. His hair was now like it normally was. He grinned.

"Thanks, Lieutenant, I owe you one." Roy said cheerfully.

Then his hair sprang back up.

"(in one zillion size font) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"What's going on?" Melody asked. She had come into the bathroom to see how Roy was doing.

"It won't go away!" Roy sobbed, collapsing onto the ground. A depression cloud hung over his head.

"Well… there is one other way to get rid of bed head, but you won't like it…" Melody said. Roy looked at his little sister.

"I'm desparate. I'll try anything!"

"You could shave your head…" Melody said, flinching.

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Roy said spazzing.

Poor Roy. I couldn't help it. My friend suggested that I shave his head. I'm sorry, Mustang-kun.

Roy: You had better be. (Pouts)

Read and Review, peoples! And give me suggestions on how to rid one of bead head!