Jarem still sits in his divine room. Though he is not on the floor anymore. He is up in the chandelier. His hand puppets insisted. . . . harshly. The chandelier swings dauntingly in back and forth. It might break. The hand puppets don't think about those kind of danger. But Jarem does. Jarems eyes are wide as his clings to the chandelier. Ironically he is clinging with his hand puppets. This must be one of Santa claws's plots against his soul. The Lady pictures still stare. Now all their eyes look up toward him. He has a feeling the ladys will continue to stare until he leaves. Will he ever leave? he hopes so. They are eerily quiet lately . . . too quiet. Jarem likes a hefty conversation but they will not speak to him anymore. Stubborn pictures. Now he just wants to get down from the ever swinging chandelier. Swing. Swing. Swing. Swingety Swing . . . . . Snap. . . .Oh Munches! The Ladys reach out their hands as the chandelier , along with Jarem and his hand puppets, crash to the floor.
Lara Can hear justice on the other side of the cave wall. Obvously some wacko is over there. Good thing she doesn't have a book. She couldn't read with all the racket. She wishes she had a racket though . . . then she could maybe find a way to beat him with it. She would love to find a relic or two. She's looked. But the Great Grottoes is too small to be hiding anything good. . . wait a minute. What is that? It's high up on the wall. The wall with the wacko behind it. Is it a relic? She jumps to reach it. She misses. She throws her pick axe at it. It tears a peice of it off. Lara picks the peice up. Its a cloth material. She lunges for it. Her finger tips brush the edge of it. It's stuck in the wall. She leaps one last time, graps it tightly. She hangs from it. It's almost as if someone is pulling the other end! Suddenly it tugs out. She lands hard on her butt and stares at the object in her hand. She's disapponted. . . . It's not a book.
It seems water may be able to flow through walls, but Hercules cannot. He's certainly passed some time attempting such impossibilities. Hercules' hair is stiff with salt. The fountain sprays everywhere, and Hercules face is no exception. The fountain is as big as Herc. Herc pushes on it with all his Herc strength. It mocks him by not budging. There is one thing Herc has not tried. Herc climbs up the fountain and sits his Herc butt on top. He blocks the water. The water can't get past the legendary Hercules butt. The fountain begins to shake and rumble. Hercules is satisfied with this. Herc feels water building up. He supposes there are two ways this could go. An exploding fountain. Or a splattered Herc on the ceiling.
*Rumble gurgle* *Gurgle gurgle Gag* Iolaus wishes that were the sound of the annoying glowing old Orestes keeling over and dieing. . . . but it isn't. That sound is Iolaus's stomache. Iolaus is so hungry he could eat . . . he could eat . . . well he could eat a glowing Orestes! But he won't. Probably toxic or something. It's the glow. Iolaus searches for crumbs in the Royal sanctuary of aged illumination. He finds some black crusty stuff. He can't bring himself to even lick it. But he can almost bring himself to shove it down Orested throat. Yadda this YAdda THAT! ARGG- . . . Wait is that clover? in the corner there? see it? Iolaus sees it. Iolaus is going to get it!
Ares interrogates his prisoner. His prisoner is Tri. He got tired of her appearing in every room and staring endlessly. He knows he looks amazing but she was just being rude about it. So he hung Tri by her wispy dress over a cavern drop off. But that was only the first. She was still roaming the other two rooms. He brilliantly confined them also. He stuck the second Tri in a bone cage he managed to stumble upon. . . . literally . . . but don't ask because he isn't going to tell you about it. He then used his belt to shackle the third to a rock. Tri is like a zombie , you've gotta push her everywhere. She won't take her eyes of you either. He just finished interrogating the second. He turns and the third is staring into his face. He jumps back, though he wont admit it. . . She holds his belt up expressionless. He growls. He wants that back and he wants it back NOW.
Drol leads his imaginary men into battle! Iolaus II plows down the whooping hills on his make believe horse with his make believe sword waving in the wind. Filella washes her imaginary masters clothes in an all too real river. Doesn't Iolaus II realize he is utterly alone? and he's waving his puppet stick? and hes washing his own clothes? doesn't he realize he's naky? NO he doesn't because he is confused. Everlastingly. But he never did realize that he had such a liking for clover. Mmmm yummmm. Iolaus II is suddenly angry. Someone else is eating his clover! MY CLOVER Drol yells. Drol will kill whoever dare eats HIS clover. Right after Filella washes a few more items. And the rabbit has a little snack. Munch Munch Munch. Clover is good.
Loki is merely a head now. A head in a swamp. A smelly Head. He doesn't like that fact. But it's a fact nontheless. He kicks violently hoping to smack down the idiot who dares poke him in the leg! How dare they! how undignifying this is! And is that baking bread he smells?! It's definatly not coming from the swamp. Or his own stinky self. Loki smiles smugly. His foot made contact with someones face he's sure of it! Sure felt like a face. But he isn't smiling for long. The swamp is sucking his face in now. The only good thing is that he can finish off the idiot down below.
Strife had finally noticed the obvious. Hey it's dark here! radiantly so. He pokes relentlessly at the leg which dangles. Oh now the leg is kicking!Both the legs are kicking! Maybe he should zap them. Or hang on them. He bets the legs wouldn't like that too much! Strife approaches. The leg kicks out and Smacks Srifes Butt. Strife sprawls onto the ground. He's annoyed at the legs! what would his uncle do to the legs? ZAP THE LEGS. Strife prepares to zap the legs with all hes got! Which isn't that much. . . Too bad he hasn't noticed the obvious exit right next to him. The Exit out of the Mountains of the Radiant Darkness. Its closing ITs ITS . . . it's gone. Too bad.
There is a Shimmering gold object in the middle of the Glittering Hall. It is moving furiously back and forth. It is Dahak. His robe, once black, is now so sparkling gold it is blinding. To mortals that is. He thought about throwing his robe out! but where would he throw it? into more glitter! He could bury a town in all this glitter! He would burn his robe, but then the glitter will be on his bare skin and his furiosity won't be able to be contained. The world is not ready for that. The world is not ready for the GLITTERING DAHAK! HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE KNOWN BY THAT NAME! The Glittering hall Explodes in a shimmering shower of Sparkles.
This park is too peaceful now that Snake has stopped throwing every weapon he has at it. The old grandmas walk by and never notice him throwing his six grenades at that bird nest there, or him setting up his land mine under the park bench here. NO they just walk their chihuahuas on by without a care. Snake has stopped careing he realized they act like him and his weapons dont exist he started doing whatever he felt like. Note the activitys above . . . He army crawls up to the park fountain. He army crawls around it. He army crawls ten feet from it. He army crawls into it. He cannot escape! But he's snake. He'll find a way. Why is the fountain shaking?
Lone Rangers voice is worn out from shouting justice to the other side of the wall. He hopes Lara got the message after 5 straight hours. . .Nonstop. . .But the revelation keeps coming. It surges through him giving him voice to one last yell of justice. He whips off his hat, Yells JUSTICE! with all his might, And throws his hat through the air. Oops it seems his hat has lodged in the wall. He reaches up and tries to pull it out. Wow this is one stuck hat! Almost as if someone is pulling back . . . In the name of justice he lets go. His hat disappears through the wall. . . eh . . . he'll get a new one.
Tontos room is almost full. Full of water. The pond will reach the ceiling very very soon. He doesn't notice his almost full pond. He's too busy watching one very hefty ripple of justice move across the water. That was the biggest one yet. The water from the walls is still coming strong. But there is a rumble. The water stops coming. The pond was about to drown him. Only his bird was above. . . do not anger the bird. The water is draining out. draining away for good. Tonto is wet, but his bird is very dry. It is not a pond anymore. Not that he ever noticed it. Where did all that water go? He silently feeds his bird some birdseed.
Jack never got any rum . . . He is till hog tied on the statue. The statue is now moving though. All the Amazons have picked it up and are charging something. Some big gate thing. He hopes there is rum in there. Then this might be worth it. . . Might be. The Amazons wave their torches around. Mighty close to his face if you ask him. They ram the Statue with him on it through the big gate thing. And charge at some spec in the non too far distance. But they stop. They turn. There is a flood of pond water racing through the gate after them. That is not a good thing. Savvy?
Macgyver has his meager fistfull of sand aimed and ready. The door burst open. And what? A bunch of women? Is that what this is about? Wait . . . these women are not stopping. . . and they have a big statue with a uhh. . . another women maybe? hog tied to it. Mac drops his sand when he realizes whats behind them. They seem to have realized it too. Mac doesn't think the sand will save him now. Not that it would of done much in the first place. He knows better then that mind you. Him and his sturdy little mullet will be ready for this.
Balder has run into dinosaurs, broken bridges, lava pits, spikes, and chainsaw weilding hags. At every turn there is something lurking! This is no place for a god of healing. Or is it? What is that awful smell! He leans next to a slimy wall. Ugh he must berid of that disgusting swamp smell! He sends his aura of baking bread through a teeny crack in the wall. Atleast he can fix one thing while he's here. Hopefully noone is stuck in that swamp on the other side. He'd feel bad for them. They would smell just plain awful. poor soul. . . Now about that Hag with the chainsaw behind him. Yes he knew she was there. He might not be able to heal his way out of this one.
GO BACK FOR MY HAMMER YOU UPSTART MUTATED GOOD FOR NOTHING FREAK OF NATURE HORSE! They had been prancing on the rainbow, jumping over the moon, and riding the tea cups for hours! And just when he managed to get near his hammer once again. . . . THAT GODFORSAKEN LEAP! And you think it couldn't get worse? Well i'll tell you it got worse once the Gold glitter started raining down upon the land covering everything within sight, Including Thor, the unicorn, AND HIS HAMMER. It Certainly was a whole heck of a lot WORSE. He hopes the unicorn is blinded. . . so he can sneak a grab at his hammer. . . just one little grab . . . ohh there it is! He reaches, it lifts up. . . Thor hasn't even touched it yet! Some gold shimmering monster is making off with his hammer! HIS HAMMER! He kicks the unicorns sides furiously. The unicorn starts grazing right next to where his hammer was. NOW YOU DECIDE TO STAND STILL! ARGHH *Cough cough Choke* He thinks he swallowed some glitter. . .
