...Who Needs Enemies?
Saiyuki AU
39/85
T+

If he had to sum up his life in two words it'd be this: it sucked.

It could have been worse, he groused, he could have been like that poor sap by the window. When they'd first brought him here from Family Services, and what a joke that place had been, he'd already figured out not only was the system broken, it should have been turned into scrap and left to rot in some abandoned waste dump. He was as angry as anyone else in the orphanage, just maybe more forceful in showing it to the wide-eyed, love-starved waifs that had crowded close trying to touch him. He shuddered at the thought of all those grasping, reaching hands.

Yes, that was definitely one of the worst moments of his short life. Standing by the sakura tree he watched the Sisters try and get the older kids into some semblance of a cleaning crew. Not having to participate was one of the perks of still being under the age limit for child labor laws, he guessed. All he had to do was keep his bunk tidy and he was fine. Heck, he'd practically taken care of himself the last two years, making a stupid bed was nothing.

He felt the tingling sensation on the back of his neck again and spun, amethyst eyes flashing in the summer sun as he tried to find the source of his unease. He'd been here a week and someone was already stalking him, great. He couldn't find the source though, whoever it was had to be a master at hide-and-seek, but it still felt weird knowing he was being watched. He wasn't creeped out, he knew what that sensation felt like and this wasn't it. It was more like…like he was being studied abstractedly, like watching a butterfly dip in and out of the flowers. There was no malice, no lust, no friendship, just a bemused sort of feeling that he couldn't shake no matter where he went in the yard.

But it was only out here that he felt it. When he went back inside the feeling wore off. He had thought at first that meant someone on the outside was watching him, but when he looked there was no one. The orphanage was set at the end of a small neighborhood, the only building on their street, and surrounded by a large grassy field and a few withered apple trees. There was no where for someone to hide. So where was he?

It was definitely a guy though, he knew that much. Girls cooed and petted and cried and he couldn't stand their sniveling in the least. At the best they would leave him alone, at the worst they'd try and 'mother' him. Like he needed one of those after his own had tried to….

No. He wasn't going to think about that. He stared up into the pale green leaves overhead as they bobbed and fluttered in the breeze, his eyes slipping shut as the combination of warm sun and cool wind calmed his nerves, soothing him into a light doze. He leaned back against the rough bark and sighed wearily, just wishing he could disappear into the wood and be done with this all. He was over being looked after all the time.

NOOOO!

The scream shook him awake. He jerked, hands clutching the bark as he tumbled to his knees and glanced around swiftly.

Nothing. There was nothing. The kids were laughing, the Sisters holding the ends of jump ropes and pushing them on the tire swings. Everything was as it should be. But that wasn't a dream. He hadn't imagined the terror in that sharp cry, the desperation and panic. Something moved on the peripheral of his vision as he turned quickly: a shadow behind the kitchen window. It could be the watcher or it could be Yue the head cook; he wasn't sure, but he was going to find out.

He took the stairs up the back walk two at a time, his legs straining to reach the next one as he sucked in ragged breaths through his nose and out his mouth. He wasn't the best at sports, but he wasn't some tubby little kid either. Mainly he had never felt the need to over exert himself for anyone but himself. Slamming open the kitchen door he stumbled, doubling over with one hand on his knee he wheezed, sweat dripping into his eyes and speckling the terracotta floor tiles with their wetness.

Yue glanced up from her baking rack.

"Genjo! You should know better than to run around inside!"

He brushed off her rebuke with a sneer, "Where is he?" he demanded, finally getting his air back.

"Who?" the older nun looked confused for a moment. Straightening up, she wiped the back of her hand across her forehead leaving a pale smear of flour across the hood of her habit.

"The boy by the window! There was someone there just now, wasn't there?"

"Boy? Oh, you mean Goku? I don't think I've seen him today actually. Why, what's he done now?"

"'Now'?"

She sighed exasperated as she reached for a knife from the countertop and a loaf of cooled bread. "That boy, he just sits there most days, quiet as can be and then bam, before you know it there's a broken vase or a fist sized hole in the wall six feet in the air." She shook her head in bewilderment. "At this rate it's no wonder he keeps getting moved around between homes. Just last week Sister Lin found him sleeping in the sakura tree. He'd been there for a week straight and hadn't even bathed! How does one get to be his age and not know that's asking to get sick?"

He sat down at the kitchen's work table and tore little chunks of bread off the buttered slice she handed him thinking. "Why did he do that?"

"Who knows, he won't talk to anyone. I don't think I've ever heard him speaking now that I think about it."

"How do you know his name then?"

The Sister blinked a couple of times in thoughtful concentration, her brows furrowing slightly, "You know, I don't know. Mother Superior must have said it when she brought him here."

He gaped at that piece of information. He'd only met the imposing woman once, as she never came out of her office on the top floor, but what he remembered left him trembling; she was one scary old hag when she wanted to be. "Mother Superior did?"

"Yes, now that I think about it one day she just appeared before supper and said 'This is Goku, he needs to eat something.' Then she turned and walked away." She laughed nervously, "I guess that's why he's always in here; it's the only place he knows. I'm not ever sure if he has a room. No, no I'm sure he does. All of you do after all." She waved dismissively at the thought.

Hopping down from the stool he licked his fingers one last time before brushing the remaining crumbs on his shorts. He wasn't sure if this Goku was the one he'd felt staring or not, but he most assuredly was interesting and one thing he hated was being bored.

He walked around the old building for an hour looking for the kid. Thinking back on it, he wasn't really sure what he looked like. He ducked into a corner and crouched down, thinking hard about the last time he'd been in the kitchen where he might have seen him.

Yesterday? No, he'd eaten lunch outside by the koi pond that day. Tuesday? No, no, Sister Angela and the toddlers were making papier-mâché in there that day. Could it have been…? He frowned; it must have been his first day when Sister Carmen, a Haitian nun on loan, had brought him in from the courts. He scrunched up his nose, chin in his palm as he squatted and tried to remember.

There had been something shinny…a bracelet. Yes! He remembered now, a small boy, with shaggy brown hair that hung limply down the center of his back like a tattered cloak. He'd been curled up on a stool by the window, just staring at the sakura tree. His lips moved, but from where he was standing he couldn't hear anything. He kept spinning the bracelet on his wrist, the copper band left red and green welts along the honey skin like a brand. He hadn't seen his eyes, or even much of his face, but he remembered the feel of him, the look of him as he sat there rocking on his tailbone slightly. He looked broken.

A flash of white and beige slipped past his hiding hole. He staggered to his feet, trying to find it again in the sudden crush of children coming in from the playground. There! Long brown hair flowed past a bunch of girls as he stood; vainly fighting to push through the crowd, but it was no use. In a matter of moments he was gone. When he finally got to the front door and stared out into the yard, he couldn't find the boy. Not even in the sakura tree.

He sighed, brushed his long bangs out of his face and stared up into the dappled light.

"Where are you?"

His breath was stolen by a swift breeze tinged with rain. A storm was brewing on the horizon. He kicked at a loose stone and snarled-he hated the rain.

Standing at the back of the chapel for mass was a pain. Personally, he didn't believe in a single all powerful God. A bunch of jerks thinking they were gods? That he could believe in. He sighed as the Sisters finished Ave Maria and glanced around the room, eyes alighting on the edge of the rectory door. There, about waist high were four small, dirty fingers. He bit back an exclamation and watched as first a lock of hair, and then a softly curved ear poked around the corner. They were slowly followed by a sunken cheek and cold golden eyes.

"Goku," he whispered, trying to figure out what about the boy drew him so. He wanted to go over there and find out if he'd been watching him, but Sister Carmen was standing just a few paces away and dearly loved her ruler, so he stayed put. He watched as Goku turned his head from side to side, looking for something, someone.

His gaze sifted over him and never paused. He'd thought for sure the boy was looking for him, but there was nothing, no recognition or interest. It was like he was blind, but that couldn't be the case, because he ducked back around the corner when Sister Lin looked over towards the door. He decided then and there that this was the day he finally cornered the brat. He'd slip out from his chore group and head for the kitchens, if he wasn't there, he'd try the sakura tree. One of them had to work.

Getting passed the Sisters wasn't too difficult when you 'accidentally' tripped the loudest crybaby in the group. Madi tripped over the end of the pew and went sprawling, her hymnal and bible clattered to the floor nosily only to be drowned out by her boisterous cries. She hadn't even scrapped her knew, what the heck was she screaming for anyways? But it gave him the perfect opportunity to escape unnoticed.

He tried the kitchens first and when that turned up empty, sought out the orchard. Again nothing. As he spun on his heel and stomped back towards the building he stopped dead in his tracks. There sitting with his feet dangling over the edge of the steeple was the elusive pest. The bell tower was strictly off limits because of some structural damage taken during the last earthquake, but there he was, a little speck of blown and gold against the ivory white tower.

As he watched a tall shadow appeared behind him. Goku looked up at the figure and then climbed to his feet effortlessly, following behind the shadowy form dazedly. At the corner a tile slipped out from under his foot and sent him skidding down the roof's edge. He gasped, rushing forward to help, but the boy flung out a hand, twisted mid-air and landed in a crouch on the other side of the railing like it was nothing. He skidded to a stop as Goku stood slowly, glanced around him, and then proceeded to follow the mysterious figure into the tower. He wasn't sure what to make of it at all.

Shaking his head he went up the walkway and headed for the kitchens. He needed something for the headache that was starting to pulse behind his eyes. Part of him was desperately curious to find out more while another part warned him off with a vengeance. He wasn't sure which one to listen to this time. In the past the voice had always given him warning before something bad happened. One counselor had said it was his conscious speaking to him, and other said he had he was very astute at reading people.

He thought they were both full of crap.

Stalking into the kitchen he made for the bottom most drawer on the right hand side of the pantry. Yue thought she was being clever by hiding the painkillers with their child-proof locks here, but really, only adults ever had problems with the stupid safety lids. To prove his point he caught his nail under the edge of the lid and popped it off easily. Taking one Excedrin out of the container he replaced the pill bottle and rummaged around for a clean cup.

He was filling it with water from the tap when he felt the air change in the room. He glanced over his shoulder and almost dropped the porcelain coffee mug onto the floor. Sitting there against a backdrop of dull, gunmetal grey clouds and pattering rain was the little monkey himself.

He took a moment to pop the pill and swallow as he watched Goku watch the world. No one knew how old he was. For all he knew the kid'd been here forever, just sitting in the corner staring out the window at the sakura trees. Sometimes he saw his lips move soundlessly, like he was talking to himself. Sometimes tears slid down his face silently, sometimes he'd jerk and blink, like he'd woken up from a bad nightmare and wasn't quite sure where he was. He was almost always there, sitting still, silent, like a statue.

It pissed him off.

"Oi. Move over."

Slowly, so slowly, big amber-gold eyes turned and regarded him. There wasn't much recognition in them at first, just a dull lifelessness. He leaned down, cupped the thin cheek with his own small hand and peered into the molten depths searching for something. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew there was more going on behind those eyes; he just had to break through to him somehow.

"Wake up already," he murmured gruffly, the back of his fingers ghosted over the kid's hollow cheek, "Things are happening out here. There are people who want to meet you, places to go, things to eat. Wake up and start living; you're not dead." He paused for a moment and tried to make his voice as soft as he could so as not to startle the boy. "I'm here, so wake up."

The big eyes blinked slowly, the dullness receding. A small, compact hand reached up and trailed through his shoulder length blonde hair reverently.

"Who are you?" a small voice asked rustily.

He smiled a tight little smile and leaned even closer until his forehead rested against the other's.

"I'm Genjo and you're Goku. You awake now?"

Goku's face twitched-a semblance of a smile. "Yeah," he said softly, "Yeah I am."

"Good, come on, lunch is almost ready."

"Can I...can I come with you?"

He smirked as he hauled the kid up beside him, "Idiot, why else would I have come over here? Come on, if I miss lunch because of you, you're dead."

Goku grinned a real grin at him and clasped the offered hand tightly, "Coming!"

"Such a difference!" Sister Yue exclaimed brightly, reaching out to ruffle his hair. He groaned and swatted at the flour coated surface.

"I'm not a dog you know!" he growled out.

Goku giggled and rocked forward on the balls of his feet, grasping his arm tightly as he peered up at him through newly shorn hair. The messy brown mop was still there, but it was slightly tamed by the newly trimmed back and bangs, although they still fell into his eyes on occasion like now. Without thinking he reached out and brushed them away from bright golden eyes.

"I think it looks good on you, Genjo!" he beamed, chubby hand slipping up to clasp at the loose braid hanging over his shoulder.

"It's a bloody braid, how the heck does it look good on me? I only went along with it because you said you'd lend me your Akira manga, but this? I look like a girl." He sneered, color high in his cheeks at the way Goku was just about sparkling at him.

"I think it looks pretty, like the sun." Goku whispered reverently and really, he had no defense against him when he spoke like that.

"I'm just a person, Goku." He sighed, twining their fingers together and heading for the table. He pushed the other into a seat and then went to fetch the juice container from the refrigerator.

He felt drained; the quiet ghostlike kid he'd forced out of his shell from a year ago was nothing but a memory now. Goku bounced along as his running commentary on life from the time he woke up until he finally kicked him out of his bed at night. Even then the monkey only went to the end of the bed to climb up to his own bunk. Stupid Sisters thinking he'd stay out of the trees more often if he roomed with some one.

Not that it did much good. He still found him in the weirdest places: the trees, bell tower, and chapel were his favorite. He'd asked him once, why he went there when he was upset over something. Goku had shaken his head and smiled sadly, then stared at his shoes until he couldn't take it anymore and had sat down beside him on the bed. Goku leaned against him, his body hot and hard as he spoke in stuttering sentences.

"I can't remember…before."

"Before?"

"Before here, before…anywhere. I like those places, they make me feel safe. I keep thinking, if I'm there, maybe I'll remember. But I don't. It hurts so much. I feel like," Goku clawed at his chest until he wrapped his arms around him and held his hands firmly in his own, his breathing rough and pained, "I feel like I'm dying inside. There's this great big hole and I can't fill it up. People help, food helps, but nothing makes it go away." He sobbed brokenly against his chest and all he could do was frown.

It scared him when Goku got like this, when he fell back into his old habits and sat for hours on end just watching. He much preferred the crazy over excited, childlike Goku to the frighteningly adult Goku that sometimes showed itself when he went cold. Running his fingers through Goku's hair he pulled him tight against his chest.

"I don't know how to make it go away, but…I'm here-if you ever need anything. Right here, Goku and I'll always be here." Goku looked up at him, confusion and weary hope in his eyes as his voice cracked.

"Promise?"

He swallowed hard, he hated promises, as they never lasted. You couldn't trust people, especially not adults, but Goku wasn't an adult he was…well, he was Goku and that seemed to make it alright. He caught Goku's right hand in his and joined their pinkies together.

"Promise." He whispered and did something he never would have done in public, all because it was Goku sitting beside him.

He smiled.

~fin.