"Naruto!" Iruka's voice echoes through the hall so loudly he almost doesn't hear the quiet giggle around the corner. But he is wired into Naruto, has a radar tuned in just to him, and can hear the little troublemaker even when the little nuisance thinks he's being quiet.
He glares at the bright orange graffitti coloring every inch of his walls and the animals must have helped him, those bastards. Millions of tiny thumb-sized pictures were everywhere. How could someone so small leave a mess so big?
The giggle turns into full on cackling, and the whiskered boy is now outside, the bark of a dog following the screech of his son. Naruto was probably riding on Jiraiya's head again, and the dog was probably laughing at Iruka. Not that he understood dog, that is. It just always seemed like Jiraiya was silently cracking jokes about him all the time.
Iruka sighed at his ruined walls, unable to stop the fond smile from making it's way across his face.
Then Naruto comes whizzing past him, riding on Jiraiya just as he thought, Gamabunta in the lead (and probably being chased.) Iruka's legs now have a long, orange streak across them.
"This is the last time we're having paint in the house!" Iruka warns, looking at what used to be his nice pants. Those were his 'going into town' pants, "Now get down from there!"
"Never!" Is Naruto's replying squeak, and Iruka just proceeds to the kitchen.
Once he had ramen on the stove, Naruto would settle down.
"-and they lived happily ever after."
Iruka ends the story with a happy sigh, father and son both wishing for a happily ever after with someone that was picture-book worthy. But they had each other, Iruka thought, looking fondly at his son. That was enough for him.
"Iruka?" Naruto asked, curled up in his father's hand, looking down at the large book in Iruka's lap. Jiraiya and Gamabunta were curled up by Iruka's feet, dozing off now that the story was over.
"Yes, Naruto?"
"Do you think I'll ever woo a princess?" Iruka smiles and ruffles Naruto's hair with his index finger.
"Well, you're a handsome boy." Iruka supplied.
"Well I know that." Naruto grinned before leaping off of Iruka's hand to stomp on the prince and squint at the fairy princess on the page, "But when things like that happen, the two of them are about the same size, right? And there's no one I know my size."
Naruto looks up at his father with those big blue eyes and Iruka fought the urge to hug him. Maybe if Iruka had planted him in a bigger pot the boy would've grown to be a normal size and Iruka wouldn't have to fear for his son's life whenever he touched him.
"Their boobs will suffocate me!" Naruto exclaims, his eyes widening with fear.
Iruka resists the urge to laugh at his son.
"Well who knows what's out there, really. Maybe there's a whole other world that I'm too big to notice. After all, you're here, right?"
"Right..." Naruto is unconvinced.
"Now let's get ready for bed. Get your sleeping cap, and I'll set up the bath for you, okay?"
"Okay!"
At that moment, unbeknownst to the happy family, a swarm of fairies were making their rounds, the leaves changing color as they passed.
"Ah, fall." Kankuro sighed, leaning back in his chariot and grinning at his sister, "Am I right?"
Temari waved the large fan that towered over even her strong frame and a gust of wind followed, dancing in the air and rustling the leaves. "You don't have a point to make, dumbass." She snapped, "What are you even doing right now? What use are you?"
"Hey, hey, hey, fall is your deal. Mine is the springtime, okay? Gaara is summer, and then winter's our vacation time. It's a system that works."
"Whatever. How's Gaara doing?"
"The same. Bored as hell with everything."
"Look at him," Temari comments, "Riding around on a bumblebee and he still looks like a statue."
"Hah, look at Uchiha. Always trying to look cooler than Gaara. Gaara invented stoicism."
"Well Sasuke's the one with the fanclub."
"Gaara has a fanclub, too. We all do, right?"
"Gaara, yes. You, no."
"Bitch." Kankuro mumbles.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
She whacked him with the fan regardless.
Temari was a Queen, not an idiot.
A/N: To people who thought Sasuke was going to be the fairy prince... I apologize.
But! The story isn't over yet, and I only have a vague idea where I'm going with this.
