A LIE OR JUST A RIDDLE?
Chapter 2: Nygma Has a Date?!


"Woman is at once serpent and apple."

Heinrich Heine


Detective Harvey Bullock groaned as he stuffed the last bite of his burger into his mouth, leaning over the bloodied corpse in the alleyway. "Whadda we got, Nygma?"

The lanky, well-groomed crime scene analyst grinned to himself as he crouched over the body, adjusting his glasses as he more closely inspected an open wound on the deceased's neck. "Definitely looks like homicide," he nearly said with a giggle, and could almost hear the sound of Bullock's eyes rolling.

"No shit, smartass. Come on, it's gonna be dark soon. I've got places to be."

"Multiple stab wounds to the torso," he spoke, his grin remaining, "light ligature marks on the wrists, minor bruising on the arms and legs."

"Jesus, must've really pissed someone off."

"Perhaps. But the marks, Detective..." Edward Nygma carefully slid his pen under the dead man's wrist and lifted it up for Bullock to get a closer look. "He was restrained, but these marks would be much more prominent if they had been tight enough to actually restrain him. They must have been relatively loose."

"Then why the hell didn't he get away?"

"I'm afraid that's not my part of the job," he quipped happily before gesturing to the neck wound, "however I think this is very important."

With another groan, Bullock leaned over to look. In the side of the body's neck was a large, bloody gaping hole in the shape of a circle - very much unlike the rest of the stab wounds across the chest and abdomen. "Yeah, Ed, it looks pretty damn significant."

"Do you know what's so strange about it, Detective?"

"Oh my god, please inform me. Other than being a goddamn hole in a man's neck, why is it strange?"

"Because it was inflicted postmortem!" He glanced up to Bullock, his wide brown eyes gleaming with childish wonder, his face beaming with morbid delight. "Isn't that just fascinating?"

The detective stared at the quirky analyst for a long moment, his brows furrowing. "Something's wrong with you. Really." Grabbing the brown overcoat that was draped over his arm, he held it up and quickly stuffed his arms into the sleeves as the first chills of the evening rustled through the Gotham streets. "Anyways, let's wrap this up quickly. If you stay late again, you can give me the detailed report in the mor-"

"Oh, no can do," Edward said as he stood up, clamping his notebook shut with a soft thud, "I've got something to do tonight."

"Wh- ... wait, what?"

"Sorry, Detective, I have plans." He spoke matter-of-factly and dropped the small notebook into his pocket. "But no worries! I'll get to work on the report first thing in the morning."

"No no no, what do you mean, you have plans? You never have plans. What plans do you have?"

Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, Edward froze, staring at Detective Bullock's aggressively curious leer, unsure of whether he should reveal the truth. But he was quite excited, and an exciting secret was one of the hardest to keep. "If you really insist on knowing, I have a date."

A full range of emotions danced across the detective's face, his features twisting and contorting as if they couldn't decide which expression to form. "A date? A date. Like with a woman. A date with a woman."

Edward could no longer hold back his grin - he rarely could. "Yes, with a woman. So I'm afraid I can't stay late tonight." He turned to walk away, leaving the rest of the forensics department to finish their roles in collecting and photographing evidence. However, Bullock quickly followed after him.

"So, Ed, when you say a date..."


Even though it was nearly the end of the day, the GCPD station was buzzing with detectives, officers, and secretaries. Detectives Bullock and Gordon shuffled through the last of their paperwork before stuffing it into their bag and packing up for the day.

"Ugh, that was one messy homicide," Bullock groaned as they headed through the pit, towards the main doors.

"Tell me about it. I don't think it was the first one, either."

"Whoa whoa, Jimbo, what's that mean?"

"I'm saying, whoever killed that guy knew what they were doing. The mess seemed... intentional."

"Maybe they were try'na send a message?"

"I dunno."

"Maybe they-" The detective abruptly stopped as he watched a young blonde woman walk through the station doors, in a crimson red mini dress that more than accentuated her feminine form, her black heels shaping her long and slender legs as they clicked against the ground. "Holy shit." Gordon noticed her as well, but was more focused on watching Bullock watch her - like some kind of predator checking out his next meal, just... in a less cannibalistic way.

"Whoa, excuse me there, sweetheart," he chimed in, stopping the blonde as she passed, "may I have the pleasure of helping you?" Bullock narrowed his sights on the female in front of him, completely ignoring the sound of a thousand sneers coming from his partner.

"Oh! You two must be detectives here, right?" She asked in a soft, perky voice. As she stood, she gently swayed her hips from side to side, her fingers playing with the lace trim at her thigh. "That must be totally exciting. I bet you're working a super important case!"

Bullock let out a cocky laugh, shrugging his shoulders casually. "Can't say it's an easy job, but it does have its rewards. Baby, we've always got an important case to solve, but I'd set aside some time for you. What brings you this way?"

"My my, you're quite the ham, Detective!" Her soft yellow curls bounced as she giggled and winked playfully. "Actually, I'm meeting someone here."

"Oh is that so? Please inform me of the lucky bastard that gets to meet with you tonight."

"His name is..." Her voice trailed off as her sapphire gaze focused just over his shoulder; her eyes suddenly widened and her glossy pink lips exploded into a grin. "Edward!" She ran past a dumbfounded Bullock as she saw the analyst approaching, her heels clacking against the floor as she laughed and greeted him with a tight hug.

Jim Gordon didn't smile at work often, but this was a very special occasion. He couldn't have held back his grin if his life depended on it. Bullock eyed him with a silent warning, yet Gordon dared a chuckle. "Well, you can't be everyone's type."

Bullock held back a grimace as the unlikely pair reached them. "So Ed, uh... this is your date."

She giggled again, her arms wrapping around his as they walked. "Oh so you do talk about me at work!"

"I told Detective Bullock we had a date scheduled, yes, but I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to elaborate. Detectives, this is Catherine. Catherine, Detectives Harvey Bullock and Jim Gordon." He didn't get the chance to introduce people very much, and did so with great enthusiasm and appropriate hand gestures.

Gordon nodded politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Catherine." She gave a sweet smile and returned the formalities.

A strange, confused whine came from Bullock as he held his lips tight, as if afraid to say something impulsively. Yet the impulse obviously didn't subside, and he continued to resist. His arms crossed for a brief moment, before his arm raised, pressing his knuckles against his mouth. Something didn't add up from the two entirely mismatched people before him, and it didn't sit well. Someone like Edward Nygma wouldn't suddenly obtain someone like her, all out of the blue like this. Who the hell was she, and where the hell did she even come from? And what the hell was she up to? She had to be up to something.

"So..." Gordon continued, his grin continuing to grow as he relished this odd moment, sneaking a glance at Bullock who was still acting like a jealous and confused little kid. "Where are you two headed tonight?"

Catherine went to speak, but Edward jumped in first. "Actually! I have, uh... managed to get a reservation at The Volcano."

Her bright blue eyes widened as she suddenly let out a squeal. "The Volcano?! Really?! That's like the most popular restaurant in Gotham, the wait list is like six months!"

"Wow, that's a pretty big score," Gordon spoke with a raised brow, "even I'm impressed. Well, you two have a lovely night."

Edward gave an energetic thank you as Catherine squirmed, her grip tightening on his arm. "I can't believe you got us into The Volcano! Oh! We should hurry! I wanna sit by one of those steam geysers!"

"Good idea!" he replied with equal enthusiasm and they both seemed to flutter towards the doors. "Did you know the steam can reach up to 200 degrees Fahrenheit?"

"No way! Can they do that?!"

As they disappeared from the station, Gordon finally let out the laugh he'd been holding in and turned to Bullock. "I've never seen anything get you so quiet."

Bullock's mouth opened as he began to shake his head. "Nuh uh... no way. She's up to something. There's no way."

"Come on, Harvey. They say there's someone out there for everyone, right?"

"Yeah, but-! She... ah. Jim, I'm telling you. There's something weird going on here."


Gentle fingertips slowly traced the edge of her wine glass as Catherine watched the artificial geyser only a few feet from their table. Edward's eyes were glued to his watch, his fingers drumming to the second-hand's rhythm. "Five seconds~" he cooed before glancing up to the geyser, and she straightened up in her seat, her hands freezing in place. After a moment, the device rumbled softly before suddenly erupting with steam. She gave a slight jump and laughed, and he grinned with amusement.

"Wow, that was louder than I thought it would be!"

"Well now we've got 45 minutes to look forward to the next burst."

"Ooh, we'll be in the middle of eating then! Don't let me forget about it, I might choke on my food."

He looked down and clicked a few buttons on the side of his watch. "Done and... done! I set an alarm to give us a minute's warning."

"Awesome!" She smiled and nibbled on a chip from the nearly empty appetizer basket. "Man, I hope the food is ready soon, I'm starving."

"Oh, speaking of hungry!" He shifted excitedly in his seat, adjusting his glasses. "Have you figured out my riddle yet?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah..." Sitting back in her chair, she crossed her arms, her pink fingernails drumming against her skin. "So... the man can only bring one thing with him on the boat, right?"

"Yep!"

"Then... alright, the man first takes the goat across the river to the other side. Then he goes back and gets the... wolf?" She frowned. "But... then the wolf would eat the goat when he left to get the lettuce."

"Do you finally give up?"

"No! I feel like the answer is really simple, I just have to... oh! Wait! Okay, okay... what if he takes the goat across, then comes back and gets the wolf and takes it over. But before leaving, he puts the goat back on the boat, goes back to the first side, leaves the goat and takes the lettuce back to Side B, then goes back for the goat at the end!"

"Correct!" He said with a wide smile, nearly jumping out of his seat. "You're the first one to get that right!"

Her brow furrowed. "Well I can see why, that was complicated~"

"Do you... do you wanna hear another one?" He asked, with widened and playful eyes.

"Sure," she said with a giggle, "I'll solve that one, too!"


Again they seemed to chat away the time, each minute of their evening full of giggles and conversation and riddles. They discussed Edward's latest cases and Catherine's favorite video games and their psychological analysis of Disney villains, all the while eating and drinking and obsessing over the time of the next geyser burst. Ed had never been able to speak so freely and effortlessly with someone for this long of a time before, and he was enjoying every moment of it, especially because she seemed to be enjoying herself just as much. She had such high energy and passion and excitement about whatever she was talking about, and it only encouraged him to feel equally passionate about whatever topic they discussed - he had grown so used to stifling the excitement in his voice, but he didn't have to apologize for getting so hyper over a particularly gruesome murder case or the fact that bananas were technically berries. Not when he was with Catherine.

Much to his dismay, however, it was suddenly midnight and the five-star restaurant - already having been closed for an hour - was starting to ask lingering patrons to finish, pay, and leave.

"Well, I had a wonderful evening, Miss Catherine!" He said with a grin as they stood outside, below the restaurant's neon sign.

"Ed~ how many times do I gotta tell you?"

"Sorry! Catherine. Just Catherine... no Miss."

Her playfully pouted lips broke into a smile. "Better. But yes, I had a fantastic time! But, you know~" She blinked for a moment, her smile curving into a coy smirk, her voice getting ever so slightly quieter. "It doesn't have to end just yet."

He gave her a curious look, his head tilting to the side like a puppy. "But... the restaurant closed. I don't know anywhere else that's still open."

With a soft giggle, she fluttered her lashes and took a step closer to him. "Hehe, silly~ I mean... maybe we could both go back to your place~"

"Oh! Maybe another time, I've got some confidential files from work annnnnnnnd" - he paused to playfully poke her nose, blissfully unaware of how close she'd become - "I'd hate for you to accidentally see something you shouldn't!"

"Hmm? Like what, you'd have to kill me?" She asked with a wink.

"Well... no, but I'd get in a lot of trouble."

Swaying ever closer, her fingers began to dance lightly up the side of his arm. "We wouldn't have to tell anyone~"

"Oh no, I'm horrible at keeping secrets. I mean, I just crack under pressure, you know?"

"I'm sure we could find a kind of pressure you wouldn't crack under~"

He stared at her for a moment, with those wide innocent eyes and that wide oblivious grin. "You really wanna know more about these investigations! You know, you should look into becoming a CSI if you're so interested!" He continued on with great enthusiasm and didn't notice at all when Catherine sighed and slumped her shoulders in total defeat. She'd never met anyone so blind to her advances and innuendo, but strangely enough it only drew her in more.

"Alright, alright~" She waved her hand back and forth. "If not your place, what about mine?"

"I do have to get up early to finish a report, by the time we went there and I got back home, I'd-"

"Fine, fine~ I guess we should both get a full night's rest, right?"

"Exactly! But maybe we could do lunch tomorrow, or dinner again - or a movie!"

Catherine gave up on her overly flirtatious behavior and simply smiled and gave a nod. "Any of those sound great! Just call me and we'll work something out, mmkay?"

He nodded back. "Alright!"


With a sigh, Catherine pushed open her front door and set her keys on a small white desk, taking a minute to pull off her heels before floating towards the kitchen for a drink. Flicking on the light, she nearly jumped as she saw Maroni at the table, calmly pouring himself another glass of wine.

"Catherine, you're home fairly early," he said, smiling and taking a sip.

Her fingers silently pressed against her thigh, feeling the edge of the dagger she'd hidden just under her short dress, making sure it was in place in case she'd need it. After the surprise wore off, she put on a fake smile. "Well it's a good thing too, apparently, or else you'd have drank all my alcohol."

He laughed. "Nah, just the good stuff. You always keep yourself stocked."

"It goes fast when you're constantly sending horny dipshits my way~"

"Oh you find plenty of them yourself, kitty cat." He chuckled again before taking another sip. "Which, by the way what do you do with them? The uh, the bodies. I mean you kill them here, right? And I couldn't find a single drop of blood or nothin' anywhere! Seriously, babe, how do you do it?"

Her muscles tensed, but she slowly inhaled and exhaled to keep her instincts calmed. She knew what he was doing, he'd come here to try and find incriminating evidence against her, proof of her extracurricular activity that he could hold above her head in case she failed. "What do you want, Maroni?"

He gestured to the empty chair across from him at the table, placing a clean wine glass at the unoccupied spot. Against her better judgment, she walked over and took a seat... not that she had much of a choice. With a smile, he poured her a glass. "So, tell me about your new friend."

"Edward isn't driven by much. Not lust, money, power... none of that."

"Pffft, surely he's after somethin'."

"Not at all," she said with a sigh. "Trust me, of all the sleazebags you've had me court, he's... he's different. He's kind and a little quirky and honest and just wants to use his abilities to help others. He's a terrible candidate, who the fuck even narrowed in on this guy?"

"We don't always get the perfect sleazebag, Catherine, but he's the only analyst in the department. He's got access to everything we could ever need - records, evidence. We need something on him, we need that access."

She groaned and took a long sip of her wine as he spoke. "Well, there's nothing on him. He's a pure-hearted little nerd who just wants... someone. He's just lonely."

"Not anymore, he's got you right?" Maroni chuckled with a wink.

"Look, I've met my fair share of 'lonely' guys. I think every damn skeleton in my closet referred to himself as lonely at some point. He's not looking for sexual gratification, he's honestly just..." Her voice trailed off as her gaze drifted.

"You can't tell me he's not looking for it now though, I mean come on, you're smokin' hot! Have you tried making a move?"

"Of course I have! Short of literally assaulting him, I've tried engaging but he's oblivious-"

"-no one's that oblivious."

"Maroni, sir, in the five years I've been doing this for you, I've never let you down. But this time, I'm telling you. He's not looking for a sexual fling. He wants something real, a real romance, a real relationship."

"Then give him that."

Catherine stopped for a moment, staring at him before slowly shaking her head. "No no no... look, I seduce, I lure them in with whatever I have to flaunt and then you have your leverage or I have my prey trapped. I seduce, I don't do romance."

"You don't do romance?"

"I carve men up and tear them apart, and they're usually alive when I start. Close intimacy with another human being isn't exactly my strong point."

Maroni nodded, shifting his weight in his chair as he shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, alright, fair enough-" BAM. Before she knew it, his hand was over hers, a slender steak knife slipping right in between her bones and hitting against the table below her hand. A tiny drop of blood began to surface from around the jagged blade and a burning pain shot through her body. Her natural instinct made her want to pull her impaled hand towards her, but he still held a fierce grip on the knife, keeping her pinned to the table.

"Pretty fast reflexes for a big guy, right?" He asked before leaning forward, his smile fading. "Now listen. I need this, and you aren't gonna fuck it up. You're gonna do whatever it takes. Become his ideal woman, frame him for murder, I don't care. But the way I see it, this is twice now you've come back to me empty-handed. Don't strike out again."

"Or what," she hissed through gritted teeth, insistent on retaining her composure despite the extreme pain, "you're gonna kill me? I'm the best weapon you've got, without me you wouldn't have shit on anyone."

"Perhaps," he agreed with a nod, "but you, my dear, as fantastic and gorgeous as you are, are a tool and what do you think I do with a tool when it no longer can serve its purpose?" Slowly he began to twist his wrist, twisting the knife's blade and causing her to buckle and whimper. "Hmm? Am I being clear at all?"

"C-Crystal clear, sir," she spat out, her pinned hand twitching slightly as she winced.

"Good." With a swift movement, he pulled the knife out of her hand and thick red blood bubbled out from the open wound, spilling onto the table and running down her arm. "Now go clean that up, I'd hate for you to get an infection." Dropping the knife on the table next to her, he finished his glass and stood up. "I'll show myself out~" he laughed, rounding the corner and disappearing from sight, and she heard the door open and shut. Once it was quiet, she gasped and hissed in pain, holding her bleeding hand tight against her chest, hoping the pressure would lessen the burning. Her arms began shaking as she forced herself to breathe slowly, and she stood up to go grab her phone, flipping it open and dialing out. After a few rings, a male answered.

"H-Hey, Victor, it's Catherine, I... I need a favor."


"The coquette knows how to please and not how to love;
that is why we love her so much."

Pierre de Marivaux


a/n; Wow, I wasn't expecting such activity right off the bat! xD but I'm glad you thought it was an interesting concept, and hopefully it will get even better! Also, y'all are making some awesome predictions because they're pretty much spot on with what I have planned, especially with Harvey and Miss Kringle! I'll try and keep this updated somewhat regularly? As well as get Unbound back up and running - but I'm also tryna do this with a part-time job and full-time college classes so I apologize in advance if chapter updates get slow... but! As always, I adore feedback so let me know what you think so far! :D