Someone said the characters were very OOC, probably, but I'm not sure how in-character they can be in the situation given, as it has virtually nothing to do with the actual series, I'm merely using the characters, like a Barbie doll. Sorry if it bothers you.
Also, halfway through, you may notice I change writing styles dramatically- in my opinion it seems that way at least- well, first part was written years ago, second part... last night. Sorry, again
Disclaimers apply. I'm so glad I'm back (: Enjoy!
THE END OF THE AFFAIR
Chapter II: Remembrance
By: Cinammon Sweet
Echizen Ryoma was sitting on the Fuji household's balcony on a hot Saturday evening, where Fuji Yumiko had told him to get comfortable while he waited for his lover's return from his advanced photography class. He had told the boy he would return a bit late (a lot, actually) but Echizen didn't mind waiting; he could always spend the night here and avoid a 'fun' family dinner with his father. Anything was better than that.
The balcony was small- not tiny, not big, just small- and filled with all kinds of flowers of multiple colours and sizes, an ample variety of cacti and little decorations and objects scattered around randomly, yet orderly. There were no windows, so the suave evening breeze made the leaves and Echizen's hair sway in a soothing rhythm. The sunset was looming on the horizon, the sky slowly getting darker, as a subtle chill begun to settle in on the only bench and the boy sleeping on it. The scene was strangely beautiful, like cut out from a kid's fairytale, but not quite so gay.
Everything seemed silent, until the stillness was lifted by a low, grumpy voice that Echizen recognized all too well. He remained where he was sitting; his eyes were closed as he tried to ignore the violent fluttering in his stomach.
"Nee-san, I'm going to finish the drawing, okay?" the clearly annoyed of Fuji Yuuta drifted into the boy's ears. If he remembered correctly, his boyfriend had told him that Yuuta was drawing some of the plants in the balcony for an art class. Damn. He couldn't make out the answer but he did hear the telltale sliding of a window and the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.
"...Geez, how annoying can you get, Yum-" the previously exasperated face of Fuji Yuuta now didn't show anything but surprise and confusion. Not that Echizen noticed, since he chose to pretend to be still sleeping, then slowly acted his 'waking up'.
Fuji Yuuta
Yuuta never expected the sight before him. All discussion with his sister forgotten, he stared at the familiar figure of the painfully beautiful tennis prodigy displaying his messy emerald hair and sleepy, slightly clouded over golden eyes, which were now peeking curiously at him.
He definitely felt something in his chest twitch when those eyes found his, though he quickly squashed the feeling as he reminded himself who the smaller boy belonged to: Fuji Syuusuke, his brother. The older teen was harshly reminded of how the boy had a tensai for a boyfriend, perfect grades and looks included, and once again the sullen thought skittered through his mind, mocking; 'having a lover like that, who would look twice at the loser brother, always brooding and sulking? Who would even spare you a glance?"
Right now, he was mad. He should be the one Echizen was waiting for, he knew he was good enough- no, he was perfect- for the younger boy. He wasn't really sure from where those feelings had originated, but he was in no position to deny them, not after those three weeks, were they had barely left each other's side, which only made the realisation worse; he had fallen, hard, for his brother's boyfriend.
Echizen Ryoma
Unbeknownst to him, Echizen did not only look twice, but thrice, at the St. Rudolph student. He did not have the pretty, feminine looks, but he was definitely attractive. Unlike his brother, he represented the exact middle line between masculinity and femininity, not skinny or slight, nor huge and muscular. In Echizen's eyes, he looked... safe, more so than normally, and he suddenly wished he could be in Yuuta's arms and have the older boy hold him in his warm, secure embrace, as he had dreamt of doing soon after he grasped the feeling that was haunting him, and scaring him shitless... love, he was in love, with his boyfriend's brother. He couldn't avoid it anymore, though he didn't plan on acting on his desire, he wanted to so badly.
Echizen blushed and looked away. Instead of fulfilling his prohibited fantasy, he blurted a
"Fuji-san, if you want I can leave so you can concentrate on your drawing" then snapped his mouth shut. Stupid.
He didn't want to leave, and yet that part of his brain that cried "you are Syuusuke's boyfriend" took over the voice that yelled and reminded him of how much he really wanted to be with Yuuta and know him better.
Of course, right now the winning part of his brain seemed to be one that oddly enough had Inui-senpai's voice and was muttering things like "probability of you being totally confused about your feelings: 99.97%", "probability of you blushing like that girl in braids: 86%"... and the worst, "probability of you just bolting out, making a lame excuse: 0.3%" huh? Talk about insane. It seemed that the 'Syuusuke's boyfriend' part of his brain was retreating with its tail between its legs, and it unnerved him a bit. Not the part where it lost, it just surprised him how quickly he decided he didn't care. He was standing up already, but he didn't have an honest-to-God, strong enough excuse for leaving. Fuji was coming home? So what, it's not like they were going to do something other than talking. He wanted to kiss the older male! True, he reasoned, but it didn't mean he was going to.
"Ryoma-kun" Yuuta started nervously "everyone calls you by your first name here, you should start doing the same, right? I believe you spend more time here than even I do."
He had miserably failed to hide from his voice how nervous but expectant he was at the prospect of being called by his first name.
"Yeah, I guess you're right, Fu-", Echizen felt light-headed as he felt the name ooze out of his lips, "Yuuta-san." He sat back down. Though it went unnoticed, both of them gave a little jolt at the word.
Fuji Yuuta felt happy. He wasn't sure how or the meaning of it, but the instant his name came out of Echizen's mouth he felt so incredibly weird. He felt, for the first time, elated. He discovered he was truly, utterly satisfied. An unusual smile was marring his stern face; he sensed some kind of glow radiating from his body, all in his mind of course, but pretty much strong. It was only a name; the reaction actually took him by surprise.
Suddenly boldness overtook him, and he found himself trying to refrain from just straddling the delectable kid and washing him with kisses. So, before he could change his mind and escape to his room, he sat down besides Echizen on the bench that suddenly looked much smaller.
"Yuuta-san,"
"Ryoma-kun," they spoke at the same time, and then looked away. An awkward silence soon followed.
Yuuta was the first to regain his wits.
"Err, please stay, Ryoma-kun. It's boring enough having to draw a plant."
Echizen smirked, giving off an appearance of confidence that didn't really belong to him.
"Sure."
A couple of minutes later found one Fuji Yuuta trying to concentrate on the task at hand: draw a flower from his garden on half a page and then draw something of the same colour on the other. Yuuta flushed a bright red when he remembered the flower he had started drawing the week before: a Chartreuse Rose which was sitting right in front of a Tahitian Bridal Veil, which oddly resembled a waterfall.
But this was not the cause of his blushing, but the reason why he chose the flower in the first place. He had already begun drawing a simple white rose, when he had notice how that other flower's petals were almost exactly the same shade and colour of Echizen's eyes, which also seemed to change depending on the weather. He couldn't resist it, and just fuelling his burning obsession with the boy, he ripped the page he was working on and started drawing the green-yellow blossom.
The smallest Fuji just blushed harder when he remembered. What had he been thinking? When Echizen sent a curious glance his way, he just shrugged nonchalantly and continued where he'd left off the last time. Well, he tried to, but Echizen just kept staring at the chartreuse thing- supposedly a flower- with awed eyes and kept inching his head closer and closer to him, until the point he could feel the tips of the boy's hair brushing lightly across his upper arm. He was so nervous he glared at the kid without even noticing it, since he knew that if Echizen got any closer, his self-control would snap and he would probably say something totally embarrassing.
Echizen Ryoma flinched and blushed, as he moved away from the glare in Yuuta's eyes.
"I'm sorry... F-Yuuta-san" He flushed deeper when Yuuta's eyes opened wide in surprise, disbelief and amusement? He blinked a couple of times "Anou, it's that..." don't say it, embarrassing! "Your drawing is very pretty" damn it.
Echizen was giving his fidgeting fingers a nice long stare, so he missed the mirth in Yuuta's grey orbs. He was just trying hard to melt into the bench and wishing fervently to be swallowed by the ground.
Meanwhile, Yuuta's head was also spinning, but in a different way. Could it be? Yuuta was pondering the idea of Echizen returning his feeling, which with the blush and the squirming did not seem so long-shot. But he needed to be sure; he was Syuusuke's boyfriend after all. The thought brought a bitter taste to his mouth, but he realized that once his hopes had gone up with the smaller boy there was no way out, not even the vision of his big brother seemed to stop them.
"Ryoma-kun"...
"Ryoma-kun" once again, Yuuta didn't receive an answer from Echizen. 'Of course', he thought, 'he's embarrassed'.
He leant in a little and said in a gentler voice, "Ryoma."
The lack of suffix made Echizen snap his head towards the older teen. He was expecting the wrath, the anger, or at least the annoyed face of Yuuta, not the teenager that hadn't move away in irritation, but had moved closer, and with an unreadable gentleness in his face.
"Thank you, I personally think it's just a piece of crap." Echizen smirked at the comment, instantly falling back to his 'brat-mode'. He was about to make a comment when Yuuta spoke up first.
"I guess it's still mada mada, right?" Echizen glared at the boy.
"Che, that's my line".
The tension was broken and Echizen amicably sat right beside Yuuta and helped him mix his acrylics as they shared an intimate silence, as though they were counting each other's secrets, sometimes talking about, well, tennis, duh, or other things of lesser importance, strategically avoiding talking about the blue-eyed boyfriend and brother. Ten minutes later, Yuuta managed to finish the first half of his assignment without much trouble, the sun had just set and darkness came like an unwanted 'third wheel' in a couple's date. Yet someone, presumably Yumiko, turned on the ceiling lamp, and they continued their small talk as Yuuta cleaned up.
Everything was perfect, until Echizen's voice rang in the small area.
"Yuuta-san, what are you going to draw as the second object?"
It was a metal clang that followed the question. What are you going to draw as the second object?
What was he supposed to say? Being the easily flustered idiot he was he had dropped the metal box in which he held the acrylics, and desperately tried to think of a suitable, non-committal answer to the question while he picked them up.
Finally, after a lot of planning and disposing of ideas, he came up with "Sorry. Err, I don't know yet. I hadn't thought about it much". This lie was supported by a very (un)natural shrug.
Brilliant.
At least Echizen seemed to buy it, or acted as though he did, and he found himself being much more grateful for having him here; it seemed natural and much less burdening to be around the youngster than it was being around most people.
Echizen had wondered for a second, gauging Yuuta's reaction to his question and his answer, but after a while decided to let it go. What if he had a hidden motive?
Maybe it reminded him of someone? Yeah, maybe, but he didn't like the idea. Nope, he'd rather Yuuta was merely weird and not thinking about another. Why? Hell, he liked the boy, it made him feel... funny. He had to physically shake his head slightly to clear thoughts of Yuuta and some random guy from his head, they were attacking him, and he noticed Yuuta giving him a curious look, to which he responding by smirking and tilting his head upwards a little bit. When in doubt, act as though you're not.
They both heard the sharp intake of breath.
"What." It was more of a statement that came out of Echizen's voice.
"Your eyes look yellow right now". Very creepy, yes, but the answer was sucked out of Yuuta the moment he realised that under the harsh artificial orange of the lamplight, Echizen's eyes glowed yellow, like a jaguar or something.
Echizen could only offer a confused look, so Yuuta had no choice but to raise the paint box to Echizen's eye level.
The younger boy saw his distorted image reflected on the metal surface to notice that, indeed, his eyes were an unnatural shade of yellow. He moved them around, instantly liking the effect it caused.
After a while, Yuuta laughed. He had too, they -he- had made a huge commotion over lighting effects, and Echizen had seemed hypnotized by the strangeness, it was a deadly mix of adorable and absurd, enough to shatter his normal reserved front and give out one rare loud laugh, one which seemed just as unfitting in Echizen Ryoma's normally smirking or mocking lips.
It was contagious and exhilarating, so freeing for once to laugh at nothing, or at everything, just letting go of inhibitions and be, and laugh. They laughed at themselves, and at each other, at their parents and at Syuusuke and the conflict he represented. They laughed at their situation, all alone in a balcony laughing themselves to tears, something like in love with each other but too unsure, too repressed to know how to show it. They laughed at everything, at the irony of finding such matching personalities, at finding each other in this perfect situation, yet still being a relationship and a family link too late.
Their laughter had turned hysterical, coming out in puffs and guffaws. Like someone who hadn't eaten for days receiving their first meal, they were starved for this, this freedom being together provided, one they couldn't achieve even by being alone.
Once they had come down a little bit from their high, chests heaving and cheeks puffed, it all ended. The spell was broken, you could say, and they were once again in control of their presence and the situation; no matter how they tried to avoid it, they remembered though, they would forever remember how it all clicked at that moment, how they had reached out for one another.
Nothing had changed in the world, nothing out of the ordinary. Inside of them though, there was so much of a riot it found both occupants of the small balcony looking in opposite directions.
Yuuta always prided himself on being more intelligent than anyone gave him credit for, and was the first of the two to recognise the moment for what it was: they had had a connection. In a way, seeing Echizen join him in that completely embarrassing moment let him know that they were together on this, it was not only him making things up in his head. They both had similar monsters looming behind their backs, they were singled out because of their burden, of being the shadow of someone else, they had united in their frustration, in their closing off from the rest of the world, and had learned to let go in that spilling of the voice, they had made peace with the other, acknowledge the other's monsters and embracing them.
They weren't in love, not yet; love was a far too fragile thing for one to take for granted. They didn't, and they couldn't, bound by the ill-timing of their meeting. Though, had not Echizen gotten together with the older Fuji, none of this would've happened, it didn't make them feel any better.
Yuuta knew this, they weren't in love, they were more like... soul mates.
Yes, soul mates, he liked the term. Not in the whole 'you're the one I've been waiting for all my life' way, but the kind of soul mates that implied a sharing of a deeper, intimate trait that bound them together, something no one else could understand, which made them special and different.
This last part was the only one that consciously lodged into his brain during the second it took to process this- a couple of sleepless nights went by before they could put it all into words and a week more before they could even attempt to say it aloud to the other- but was enough to influence his next course of action.
Slowly, tentatively, he lent down, hovering with his head beside Echizen's subtly bowed down. He was looking away from him, which made it easier to keep his wits. Seeing as the boy hadn't moved away he timidly landed a very innocent kiss, a mere touch of the lips, to the spot where he had seen the tiniest of dimples when he had laughed; he had effectively defied the norms, the reality, and imposed over it with his will to love the young man.
The kiss was the trigger that Ryoma needed to unlock the emotions the last 5 minutes had evoked in him. In such a short span of time, this boy had managed to make him doubt every last thing in his life, question his very reason for being. He knew what he wanted, his one goal, to surpass his father in tennis. For years now, there was nothing else he had truly wanted from life, until now.
In comes Fuji Yuuta, an average kid with a less than favourable personality. Then again, his own had much to be desired so he couldn't really complain; two loner's personality, lightly obsessive, far too stubborn, and just a tad bit too awkward, that matched in a secret, personal way. Words were too restricted to describe the overall effect of finding that person... like a soul mate. But not-
A bit more, you know-
It felt-
I was-
yeah, whatever.
Echizen raised his hand and grabbed onto Yuuta's fingertips, hand-holding seemed too forward. It was a message: 'I get it, and I feel it too', in their tough-guy language they shared.
They didn't talk about love, or cheating; they weren't together-together. They were, you could say, spiritually-bound, and neither of them had given their soul away- until now, that is. They felt the drive to kiss and hold, like any hormone-filled teenagers would, but they held off to 'make it right'.
It didn't make it better, they knew, but there was nothing they could do; Echizen wasn't ready to leave Fuji, that much was clear, and neither was ready to pursue a relationship with each other. They were fine, at least for the time being, with slowly getting to know the other, and learning to let go.
Echizen knew Fuji wasn't the one for him, he knew he had to end it. But not just yet, he needed time to find himself at peace with this decision, to be certain and strong and rational.
Yuuta has happy with the fact that Ryoma was willing to have him, and he had no problem with giving him time to be ready, he needed it too, if he wanted them to work out, and he intently wished for that.
Just then, they heard the voice of one Fuji Syuusuke, his soft voice drifting upstairs from outside, talking on the phone. Yuuta gave Echizen's fingers in his hand a squeeze and an awkward smile.
They could do this.
Echizen looked up from their joined hands, smirking up at the boy with the strange scar and scary-looking eyes.
"You confessed to me." his smirk was as wide as it could get.
Yuuta conceded. "I did."
They went back into the house in silence, not looking back as Ryoma went downstairs to greet his boyfriend and Yuuta climbed into bed fully dressed and intent on avoiding his brother's nagging.
Still, both of them could now think about the future and genuinely smile.
End of Chapter 2
(1) Chartreuse Roses: Flower with a body of yellowish-green [chartreuse colour, hence the name] that changes intensity with the weather. Sometimes it appears greener, at other times only yellow.
