He tried to nap, but it didn't happen. He was too excited to see her. And he was far too worried about how he was going to get her to talk to him. He was going to be coming in as John Smith, not the Doctor. What did John Smith bring to the table? He already loved her, but she couldn't know that yet. He would do anything for her, anything, but he would have to keep that under wraps as well.
He didn't want to scare her off.
He fixed his hair over and over, somewhat hoping great hair would help distract from the fact that he looked like he had been dragged through the lower parts of hell.
And hadn't he just.
He finally landed near the restaurant, he was early but he went ahead and got a table.
"Right this way, Mr. Smith," the man told him, leading him to a table.
He sat down near the window, not the best seat perhaps, but he would be able to see Donna when she came. His hearts were beating frantically in his chest, but he felt alive. It was amazing what a couple hours could do. Well, a couple of hours, and the chance to see Donna.
That was the biggest step.
He ordered lightly, he knew that he should eat, but he just couldn't yet. He needed to see her, to know that he could spend time in her life, before he stood of chance of caring about himself again. She was his life line, his only reason.
He sipped his soup, counting down the minutes and then the seconds till five. At five exactly he dropped the spoon, and watched the door. It was minutes before she showed, the longest minutes of his life, but then he saw here. She was dressed in a black skirt and pretty blue blouse, it brought out her eyes. She was at the door, talking with a small group of woman, laughing and smiling.
He felt a pang of jealously. He was jealous that she was able to smile without him in her life, but he couldn't. If she remembered though, he doubted that would be the same. By some mercy, some kindness in the universe, she was sat down by him.
He tried not to stare, but he knew that he was failing. And it was rude to eavesdrop, but wasn't that just what he was doing.
"He's horrible," Donna told a pretty blond next to her. She deepened her voice. "I don't need any sugar, long as you are around. Blech."
The women laughed and the blond responded, "I'd get him for it, if he wasn't so high up."
"That doesn't scare me," Donna told her. The Doctor smiled, but caught himself.
If she looked now she would either think the man by the window was crazy and smiling at his soup, or that he was listening to the women. Either way she might say something. He took a slurp from the spoon, the kind she would have called him out on. He didn't do it on purpose…well, maybe he did.
He could feel her eyes on him, but he looked out the window, hoping she would return to her discussion. He planned to talk to her, he just hadn't decided how yet. He could see her rejecting his attention even if he didn't look a little rough.
At least he had on a suit, and he was shaven. Still, the nap wouldn't have been amiss.
"What are you having?" One of the women asked, but the Doctor didn't know which. He was too sacred to look. Or eat, his spoon lay in the soup.
Donna didn't answer, "Oi, mate."
It took the Doctor a moment to realize she was speaking to him and he turned his head. She smiled a little, more gentle then he thought she would give a stranger. "You seem to be enjoying your soup, what kind is it?"
Kind? Um, how could she expect him to think of such a trivial fact when she was right there? She was close enough to see the green in the center of her irises, and certainly close enough to smell. Warm and calming.
Soup? Ha! But she was talking to him, and he needed her to not think he was a loony. "Broccoli cheddar," he finally chocked out.
She nodded, and he looked away again. Why, oh why, couldn't he have just been smooth about it? Like she was going to want to talk to him now.
His hearts dropped again. He wasn't usually such a quitter but without her as hope he didn't have the fight.
"Are you waiting on someone?" Her voice hit him gently, with a hint of warmth. It almost sounded like she cared.
He looked back, and managed a smile he hoped wasn't creepy. "No, just me."
She nodded and looked at the women. "Care to join us?"
The women all nodded, and he felt tears creep into his eyes. She was asking him, for all purposes a stranger, to eat with her. Heart of light, she had.
"Don't want to be a bother," he lied. Oh, he wanted to be a bother. If that meant he could be close to her, he wanted nothing more.
"Come sit, before I change my mind. And leave that soup there, you need real food."
He nodded and risked a little cheek. "Yes ma'am."
She just smiled, "Smart, listing to what I tell you. Why are you so skinny anyways, don't you eat?"
He didn't answer, just sit in the chair next to her, and tried his hardest not to scoot any closer. This was a gift, and he couldn't ruin it.
She apparently didn't really expect him to answer because she sat about introducing everyone at the table. They all worked for the same company, secretaries.
"And I am Donna Noble," she offered her hand.
He took it, and the feeling nearly made him pass out. It was so strong, like coming home after being gone for years. She must have felt it too, because her eyes misted up and she blinked them away.
"John Smith," he told them all.
"John," she repeated and looked away.
He couldn't help it, he gently touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
He had expected her to bristle, but she simply nodded. "Yes, so tell us about yourself, John."
He closed his eyes, and began to talk. He breathed her in, and let out the hearts ache. She was here, and she was so real. That was enough for now.
