To be An Other

A.n- Thanks to Anonymous reviewer Jess for this idea!! And to everyone else who contributed ideas they will be taken on board! I am pleased with the responses so I will do your stories!! And keep those imaginative ideas coming!!

To be An Other- involving chocolate bunnies, robots, a new entry in the Sawyer/Kate/Jack love triangle and mass murders of innocent Sims.

"Charlie!! Charlie!! Chuckles get over here!" Sawyer hissed.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I'm right next to you Sawyer."

"Right I knew that."

"Sure you did."

Charlie and Sawyer had walked into the jungle looking for a new adventure. It was surprising how quickly boredom could set it on this island. They were peering through the trees, hiding behind a bush surveying a couple of people who they knew to be The Others. The Others were whispering and occasionally laughing at something amusing.

"Reckon we should scare them or something?" Sawyer grinned. "We could just pop up and say boo."

"For someone who reads a lot, you are surprisingly unimaginative." Charlie replied, rolling his eyes again.

"You got a better idea chief?"

Charlie thought really carefully. The Others didn't really look any different to them. They could probably pass off as Others if they wanted to...hey that was a thought.

"Got it!" He whispered. Sawyer looked round eagerly.

"I bet I could pass off as an Other longer than you."

Sawyer looked confused. "Another what?" Charlie threw him a meaningful look and then he clicked on.

"That's positively suicidal! If we get caught they'll cook us and eat us alive!" He gasped.

"Makes it all the more risky doesn't it?" Charlie grinned. Sawyer caught on and nodded.

"Ah I see. Ok you're on. Let's get our Other outfits on." They laughed as they realised how odd that actually sounded in another context.

"So let me guess this right." Jack said, back at camp. "You're planning to disguise yourself as Others, infiltrate their camp, risk torture and death...for a bet?"

Charlie and Sawyer looked at each other and then back at Jack and then nodded.

"I'm in!" Jack grinned to their surprise.

"Sorry doc, this is between the Chuckster and me." Sawyer said.

"Oh. Now who am I gonna pway with?" Jack pouted. "Locke is too busy chasing Desmond who claims he can travel in time. Locke just goes around screaming 'THE ISLAND DOES NOT LET PEOPLE TRAVEL IN TIME!' And Sayid is too busy building robots to fight against Bernard's."

Charlie and Sawyer exchanged a look at this point. How much had they missed during their jungle expedition?

"What about Kate?" Charlie asked. Jack's face turned dark at that point.

"She's flirting with the smoke monster. She has no time for me anymore." He said sulkily. Charlie and Sawyer exchanged a look; the love triangle between Jack, Kate and Sawyer had now turned into a love square. Jack, Kate, Sawyer and...smoke monster?

"Come on Charlie, time for our bet to be put into action!" Sawyer cried rubbing his hands together.

Charlie grinned and then they set off.

"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME BOX MAN!!" A half naked Desmond cackled as he ran past them. Locke came into view and was out of breath.

"DON'T EVER TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!" He bellowed furiously, running after Desmond. Sawyer raised his eyebrows at Charlie who stifled a laugh. Their laughs were stifled though as a monstrous metallic figure chomped its way into their path.

"HA! Bernard you're going down!" Sayid yelled, running into view. He grinned at Charlie and Sawyer as he displayed his robot. "Do you like my robot buddy? I call him Tim."

Charlie broke into hysterics again whilst Sawyer fought to keep a straight face himself.

"Hi Tim." He said solemnly. "You know any cool dance moves? Like...oh I don't know...the robot?"

Charlie laughed even harder causing Sayid to pout and then he walked off, shouting Tim's name as he disappeared.

"So where are they?" Charlie asked, scanning round. Sawyer frowned. They couldn't seem to find the location of the two Others they had spotted earlier. A sudden rustling caught their attention and they spotted a small, sneaky looking man with a tall, menacing blonde woman.

"I had a dog and his name was Bingo!" Sawyer muttered with a grin on his face.

"You had a dog called bingo? Cooooool." Charlie asked in surprise. Sawyer rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna go out first." He changed the subject. "And if I succeed, you can come out."

"So you're basically bait instead of me for a change." Charlie beamed. Sawyer frowned as he considered this point. He shrugged and then sauntered out of the bushes.

"Yo, ladles and jellyspoons!" He greeted. The two Others jumped in surprise. "How are we today? My name's Ben Dover and I, like, came all the way from England to see y'all...I mean you all." He corrected his accent quickly.

"Hmmmm my name's Ben." The male Other frowned. "In my world two people with the same name causes the universe to implode."

"Ummm that's not strictly true Ben." The blonde woman interjected. "We have two Toms in our camp and the universe is still here."

"Yeah but the other Tom is a pest, Juliet." Ben whined. "He keeps asking me to test his food for poison. He is sooo paranoid."

"What was your name?" Juliet turned back to Sawyer.

"Ben Dover."

Immediately Ben crouched over.

"What are you doing Ben?" Juliet asked incredulously.

Ben stood back up. "He just told me to bend over." He replied gesturing to Sawyer.

"No. I just said my name was Ben Dover." Sawyer said stifling a laugh.

"Oh." Ben nodded understandingly. Then he frowned. "I don't get it."

"Excuse me? Vat's going on 'ere?" Charlie joined the three of them, speaking in a heavy accent.

"Who the blazes are you?" Juliet asked with a frown.

"Dr. I. Peesalot." Charlie replied solemnly. Sawyer fought to keep a straight face at this point.

"It's nice to meet you I. Peesalot." Ben greeted him warmly, shaking him by the hand. Sawyer burst out laughing.

"Sorry, medical conditiona." He wheezed in response to the questioning looks he was getting.

"So...I.Peesalot. What are you a doctor in?" Juliet asked, interested. "I'm a doctor of fertility."

"Ah!" Charlie exclaimed. "I is examining in...ooh how do say zis?...sex."

"I beg your pardon?" Juliet cried.

"I is examining ze sex organs in ze body." Charlie elaborated. "You know ze..."

"I think we all know what you mean." Juliet broke in hurriedly, turning red in embarrasment. Sawyer by now was hysterical. He bent over laughing and then stood up to see a furious Ben looking at him.

"I know what you're doing Mr Ben Dover." Ben breathed. Sawyer's smirk dissolved quickly and changed into a look of panic.

"Y...ya do?" He asked nonchalantly.

Ben nodded triumphantly. "You...are here to steal the secret formula for my delicious chocolate bunnies!"

"Say what?"

"You're after my chocolate bunnies! Well you're not gonna get 'em!" Ben pointed at him wildly.

"No I'm not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not!"

"Are zey alvays zis...childish?" Charlie asked Juliet.

"Don't even get me started." She muttered darkly.

"You look very pretty." Charlie announced. "I vish to kiss you."

Juliet turned round to face him slowly. "Vat...I mean what the devil are you talking about?" She asked.

"I vant to kiss you."

Juliet stared at him as if deciding whether or not to slap him.

"Did you get a degree in insanity?" She asked.

"As a matter of fact I did!" Charlie exclaimed. He was really enjoying this latest task, especially since Ben and Juliet were gullible enough to believe their stories. "My old professor Frankenstein made zis entire monster out of ze body parts! Can you believe that? And zen..."

"I didn't ask for your life story!" Juliet yelled.
"Ooh get you. Ze feisty blonde! Aren't you supposed to be stupid?" Charlie shot back.

In the midst of this, Sawyer and Ben were still arguing and it had escalated. Sawyer now had Ben in a headlock.

"Say it!" He yelled.

"Never!!" Ben said defiantly. Then he winced as Sawyer pulled his hair.

"SAY IT!"

"OK OK!! Ben Dover's chocolate bunnies are better than mine!"

"That's better." Sawyer beamed as he released Ben.

"Not." Ben muttered.

Sawyer glared at him.

"Let's go back to camp." Juliet sighed. "Ve...I mean we can show these two your chocolate bunnies if you want."

"Yay!" Ben clapped his hands eagerly. "You two will just LOVE them. They are so...chocolately, sweet and amazingly delicious." He drooled on the spot doing a perfect impersonation of Homer Simpson.

They walked together, sharing stories and generally laughing. Occasionally Charlie and Sawyer would exchange a gleeful look as if to say: I can't believe we're actually getting away with this!

"Here we are. Home sweet home!" Ben announced. They had come to a huge clearing filled with houses that were the exact same colour, size and shape. But that wasn't what Sawyer and Charlie were staring at; jumping around at 100 miles per hour were hundreds upon hundreds of chocolate coloured bunnies.

"Zey are alive!" Charlie exclaimed.

"I KNOW!" Ben exclaimed gleefully. "I have them trained so they never escape!"

A chocolate bunny hopped towards Sawyer and sniffed his feet curiously. Sawyer immediately picked it up and started stroking him. It was love.

"I shall call you, Bob and you shall be mine forever." He cooed. Charlie rolled his eyes.

"What?" Sawyer spotted Charlie's expression and reacted defensively. He clutched 'Bob' the rabbit towards his chest and stroked him continuously.

"Must be love, rabbit love." Juliet sung, caught in the magic of the love between Bob and Sawyer. Ben stared at Juliet and then joined in.

"Touché Sawyer." Charlie muttered under his breath. Sawyer was using the rabbit to gain the Others' trust and thereby securing his position in their camp. He needed to do something. He really didn't want to fail this task because then he'd never hear the end of it.

"I vish to see your medical experiements." He announced to Juliet. "I am very interested in your line of verk."

Juliet stopped singing and squealed in excitement. "OOOH goody! Are you really? You're so sweet! You are the first person who has wanted to see my work!" She took Charlie by the arm and dragged him off.

"Ooh smart move Chuckles." Sawyer scowled. "I see your game."

"Did you say game?" Ben caught one word in that sentence. "I LOVE GAMES! Did you ever play The Sims? I love it! You HAVE to play it!"

"Sure I'll play it with ya!" Sawyer grinned. "What's it about?"

An hour later...

"Ben, why do you keep killing your Sims off?"

"Because it's fun!" Ben grinned wickedly. They were on his computer playing The Sims and every Sim, Ben created he always, ALWAYS killed them by 'accidently' putting them in a pool with no ladder.

"I called him Jacob after this annoying dude who hangs out in this old shack." Ben explained. "He needed to die for the island."

"There's no island on this game." Sawyer reminded him.

"Oh right." Ben sighed. "Well he died...for a good reason."

"OH NO!" Sawyer screamed. "My Sim is morbidly obese!"

Ben sniggered. "You can't afford an exercise machine! You only have 100 simoleons!"

Sawyer glared at him then minimized the screen. He clicked on the internet and within the space of a minute he had found a cheat to get more money.

"NO!!" Ben screeched. "YOU CAN'T CHEAT IN REAL LIFE! SO DON'T CHEAT ON THE SIMS!"

"Oh lighten up Bugs bunny!" Sawyer rolled his eyes. "It's just a game for cryin' out loud."

Ben glared at him but didn't respond.

At Juliet's...

"Vell you are very smart Miss Juliet." Charlie announced. "You are terribly clever."

Juliet beamed. They were gazing at her mini laboratory Ben had installed for her. She had informed Charlie all about her research and he looked genuinely interested. Then again that glint in his eye could have been boredom.

"Vat is it you do for...fun?" Charlie asked. "You must be so busy doing work you don't have time...what?"

Juliet gave him a funny look and then he realised. His accent had slipped dramatically in that last sentence.

"You're not Dr. I. Peesalot are you?" She asked with a penetrating glare. "In fact I doubt you're even a doctor! And you're not even German!!"

"Well..." Charlie just stared at the ground. All he could think about was, Damn it! Sawyer wins this one!

"GUARDS!!" Juliet screeched.

"Shit." Charlie said quietly.

Back at Ben's...

"You created a family of 102 members and killed them all off...within 24 hours in Sim time?" Sawyer asked.

"Yep." Ben grinned.

"That's mass slaughter! You even killed an 8 year old! How evil are you?"

"Pure evil."

A screaming voice interrupted their heated discussion on mass slaughter. Sawyer glanced out of the window and saw a struggling Charlie being led off to a building labelled: BIG BLOCK FULL OF CHOC.

He ran outside and struggled to keep himself from laughing.

"THEY'RE GONNA MELT ME ALIVE!!" Charlie wailed. "SAVE ME SA..."

"Chill!" Sawyer interrupted, before the game was given away for him too. "I'll save you if you say one thing."

"What's that?"

Sawyer just grinned. He knew that Charlie had to say it to make it official, otherwise this task could go on forever.

Charlie sighed. "Ok, ok. You win this task. I...I...lose."

"Ok then!" Sawyer clapped his hands mockingly. He turned to Ben. "Release this man."

"No." Ben said.

"Why not?"

"I'm sick of chocolate bunnies. I want to make chocolate people!" Ben announced gleefully. "And now I. Peesalot shall be my first victim!!"

Charlie and Sawyer exchanged a look of horror.

"What if he dies? You'd have that blood on your hands!" Sawyer tried to amend the situation.

"No I wouldn't. I'd have it in my mouth amongst the chocolate." Ben grinned.

"You're sick!" Charlie yelled, utterly disgusted.

"Perhaps." Ben giggled. "But imagine. A whole army of chocolate people at my command! I could rule the world!"

"Ok I take it back." Charlie amended. "You're insane."

"That's an understatement." Sawyer muttered. "He's gone off the deep end."

Ben laughed evilly but it was interrupted by a sound of metal clashing and Tim the robot came into sight fighting against another.

"OH MY GOD!! IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE!" Ben screamed as he leapt into Sawyer's arms.

"Get off!" Sawyer dropped him in disgust.

Sayid and Bernard raced into view, egging their robots on and totally disregarding whatever else was going on. They probably weren't aware that two of their fellow campmates were there with them. They raced off in another direction. Tim and the other robot fought viciously and the clash of metal caused the trees around them to shake and wobble. One broke off completely and was falling towards Ben.

"The island isn't supposed to let this happen!" He screamed. "Not now, not ev...ARRRRRGH!"

Charlie and Sawyer just stared as the tree crushed the once strong leader of the Others.

"Hoisted with his own petard." Sawyer shook his head and let out a low whistle. "Now that's irony for ya."

Millions upon millions of chocolate bunnies then went up to the mess that was Ben and tentatively at first started eating him.

"That's even more ironic." Charlie shook his head. "Can you do me a favour Sawyer luv? Untie me please! Me bloody arms are gonna drop off."

"Oh don't exaggerate. Oh and don't ever call me luv again," Sawyer scolded him but with a small smile on his lips.

They walked back to camp in silence, both totalling up the scores in their head. So far it was 1-1 but what their next challenge was, neither of them could say. For now they just wanted to get back to their beds and sleep off the day. A familiar voice could be heard just beyond the trees and as they approached the sound, they saw Kate talking...to the smoke monster?

"Yeah Jack is just a pain constantly yelling at me. And Sawyer? He's good for the sex and he's an amazing kisser but I feel like I need someone new. Y'know what I mean?" She chatted whilst filing her fingernails.

"Yes. I can provide you with comfort and protection." The deep voice of the smoke monster replied.

Charlie and Sawyer just stared with wide eyes and then, simultaneously, they ran back to camp screaming their heads off.