Chapter Two: Denial & Deliberation

Oliver showed up to the second session after a grueling practice on what was predicted to be the last warm day in England for the year. Perspiration had been collecting on his body all day, throughout all the training he underwent with his team. It had been two and a half weeks since their first victory. The team's motivation had gone up, and their confidence had greatly increased.

A small amount of media attention had followed Oliver and the rest of the team after his shut-out game. There was a smirk on Rutherford's face, a small trophy in their dusty old case, an article taped in the team room, and an air of potential amongst the team with it.

The article spoke highly of the team, but mostly about Oliver's plan as captain.

"Wood directs his team with an air of a true leader, one of a general, while maintaining his own sense of pride and victory with the six other players. Wood's first game of the year with the reinvented Puddlemere was a huge success, as Wood held the first shut-out in any Quidditch game since the 1930s. His determination and drive may be considered obsessive and mad to some. For anyone who understands the vivacious and sometimes cruel world of Quidditch, he or she knows that this is simply a sharp instrument in tuning your team for success. Although when one first reviews some of the drills completed by Wood's team at practice they may seem too intense and fervent for anyone, when compared to the dark methods employed by teams in the past, these drills only seem to build the team further in a more positive manner.

"The truth of the fact is, the Quidditch World is flexible. It's hard to predict who the winners are going to be for the season before the season starts. But based on how hard Puddlemere is working, it's easy to say that they will be a top contender for the year. Hopefully some of their fans will return to their side now that they're progressing. It's undeniable that Oliver Wood will be the one to watch. What's questionable is just how far Puddlemere will go with him-is Puddlemere the next Team England? With the World Cup now less than a year away, the speculation is building and so is the tension amongst fellow teams."

The article was the first article about Puddlemere since Oliver had joined the starting roster. It was exciting for him, but it worried him that people might go to expect too much from Puddlemere. Other teams were now aware of their growth and were ready to defend, unlike the Tornados, which had spurred the intense workouts.

Oliver walked into the room, one of the last to do so, and sat beside his father, who was speaking animatedly to Xavier Bell about what else, but Quidditch. He peered over to Katie, who grinned at his presence and gave him a cheeky wink. Oliver chuckled. Things with Katie had always been easy-going.

"Hello everybody! Thank you all for coming, today is an exciting and wonderful day to be together!" Vanessa chirped. The males in the room grimaced at her peppy introduction. Plus Katie, Oliver supposed as he noticed her cringe.

"First off the bat, we're going to break up into groups of six and share the work we did for our assignments about fear." Vanessa directed. "So, find a group of two other pairs and share how utilizing your inner creativity has helped to come to your terms with your fear."

There was a moment of hesitation before people began moving about, seeking partners and groups. It appeared that Oliver's father and Mr. Bell had already formed a makeshift alliance, which Oliver didn't mind one bit. He scooted closer to Katie, who gave him a reassuring smile. Another group joined them, Nathan Flannery and his father Gabe. Nathan looked to be about twenty something and his father was about to drift off to sleep.

"So gang, what did you guys do for your art project?" Xavier began.

Oliver's father offered to go first. He pulled out a lump of misshapen clay, which looked like a sheep had come along and used it as a shit-bomb spot.

"Er, what is that exactly?" Katie asked, slightly weirded-out.

Braddock smiled broadly. "This is representative of what happens when I try cooking."

Oliver groaned softly.

"So, your greatest fear is cooking?" Nathan questioned.

"Well, my actual greatest fear is waking up somewhere unrecognizable, but this was easier to visualize, so there you have it!" Mr. Wood explained.

Katie's eyebrows went up. "So, dad. What did you make?" She asked, obviously looking to move on.

Katie's dad took out a candle that was decorated with pictures of Katie and another twenty-something man, who Oliver recognized as Katie's older brother.

"My greatest fear is losing my two children, but my other greatest fear is fire." Xavier explained to the group. Katie smiled at her dad and stuck her tongue out at him, which Xavier returned by making another funny face.

Nathan went next. He had written a song about the wife he had lost.

The song was heartfelt, about how his greatest fear was disappointing her, and how he was afraid to wake up without her. It was moving, touching, and sad.

Oliver looked around the group and saw that Xavier's eyes had grown sparkly and wet. So had Nathan's. Oliver felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Well, that was really great of you to share, Nathan." Katie began. "I'll go next. I made a noodle collage!" She said, whipping out a small piece of cardboard that had been smothered with craft glue and dry pasta.

"This here represents my fear of losing my dog, Chewy."

"Your dog's name is Chewy?" Oliver interrupted.

"Yes, now please no more interruptions, Wood." Katie said lightly. "This here is Chewy," she pointed at a mess of curly pasta, then pointed at another clump of ravioli, "and this is me-very happy."

Oliver couldn't help but disguise his laughter as a cough when Katie caught him chuckling as the group moved on to Gabe. Gabe presented the group with a tray of hard, flaxen biscuits that they all pretended to like.

"Is your fear also cooking?" Braddock questioned, as he and Xavier laughed at the joke.

"No. My fear is heights." Gabe said plainly. Nathan pat his arm and Katie smiled warmly at him.

Now it was Oliver's turn. He presented his diorama made of his old trainer box and some stale cereal. It was good craftsmanship compared to the others, which made it easy to recognize as-

"A quidditch pitch?" Katie asked skeptically, as if to say, "Seriously?"

"Yes, this demonstrates my fear of being blindsided during a game. You can see here that the team of bran is forming a divided front against the honey-o's, whose keeper doesn't know where to look to catch the raisin in time. His mind is on two things, which is never good during a game. You have to have complete concentration." Oliver explained.

"I'm not surprised that your fear has something to do with Quidditch." Katie commented.

Oliver shrugged.

Vanessa called everybody back together. "So, when we talk about fear, we talk about the things we dread, the things that create adrenaline in our system, those automatic responses to things that we consider bad. For some of us, our greatest fears are something that has happened already and we know how bad it is so we dread it. For others, it may be something that is unusual and therefore creates nerves. There are many things to fear and many things that create fear in our lives. But the most important thing to learn when talking about this is that you can't deny what you really fear. To combat something, you have to acknowledge its presence. You have to tell the truth, which is what we're going to aim for in these sessions. From now on, when someone asks you how you are, tell them the truth. Talk to them about your fears and anxiety-this is the first step to fighting it."

Oliver thought about what he was afraid of. How he was afraid to lose control in Quidditch and also in real life.

"You have to let go of this fear by naming it. To name something is to set it free from its bondage!" Vanessa cried.

Oliver Wood had never let himself go. Had never let himself fall.

There was silence as Vanessa let her words sink into the minds of the group.

"So, for next time, I want you to talk to someone about the fear in their life, and to talk to someone about the fear in yours. The real stuff, not the surface stuff. When you come back, you should be able to talk about a conversation you had that helped you to combat fear. Get rid of the denial in your life. Admit to your mistakes and the things you fear." Vanessa smiled. "That concludes this session. I'll see you all next month."

Everyone stood and began to gather their things. Oliver said goodbye to his father, who was still talking to Xavier. He found himself walking out with Katie.

"Here's your hat, you forgot it last time. I've been holding on to it since." Oliver said, passing the cap back to her.

"Thanks! I always leave that thing places. Wanna go for a walk with me Oliver?" Katie asked good-naturedly, her hands in the pockets of her jean shorts. "We should catch up."

"Sure."

They walked for a while down the street, talking about the Quidditch match from a couple of weeks ago.

"I always knew you were something else, Oliver. But damn, even I didn't see a shut-out coming." Katie remarked.

"Thanks, I can tell this is our season." Oliver explained. "I can just feel it."

"I trust your judgment on that." Katie stated. "So, what else have you been up to? I haven't really talked to you that much since our Hogwarts days."

"Mostly Quidditch. I have a flat over in London, a husky, and I run." Oliver summed up. "What about you? Are you hoping to get back into the Quidditch World?"

Katie shook her head. "I had a bad experience with the Tornados last year, which I'm sure you've heard all about. Right now I'm just trying to make my money spread thin enough to be able to pay my monthly rent that I share with my friend."

"That's a shame, I was hoping to see you out there on the pitch, relive the days of our Gryffindor team." Oliver said, reminiscing.

Katie laughed, a hearty and full laugh. "That was a great time wasn't it. Well, except for all the practices you led. Those were brutal."

"Those were pretty brutal for the first time second-year that couldn't do more than three push-ups."

"Hey! I was a really strong second-year!" Katie defended herself.

"Well, you definitely were strong compared to the will of some of your teammates. But yeah, you were pretty weak as far as your arm strength."

Katie snorted indignantly. "Well at least I've gotten better!" She held up her bicep, flexing as hard as she could.

"Which is thanks to me and my captaining skills, I might add." Oliver remarked cheerfully. "At least I was nice to you."

Katie punched him in the side, only to discover that his stomach was completely hard. "Well, that did a lot of damage. About as much as a kitten." Oliver said, rolling his eyes.

"What was that about being nice to me?" Katie asked innocently.

"It was one-sided, I suppose." Oliver smirked.

"That's not true!" Katie exclaimed. "I was like your best friend!"

Oliver rose an eyebrow.

"I was!" Katie reiterated.

Oliver chuckled. "I'm only kidding. We were good friends."

"Let's be friends, Oliver."

"I thought we were friends?" Oliver was confused by this girl.

"Well, we are. But we should be best friends." Katie stated frankly. "Well, I already have a best friend forever, so you'll have to settle for just a regular best friend."

Oliver pretended to consider her offer. "Well…."

"I wasn't asking your permission, Liver." Katie rolled her eyes, invoking his old nickname from when she was irritated with him. "I already named you my best friend in my head. Don't muck it up."

Oliver looked at her solemnly. "I won't." He held up his hand as if taking an oath. "Keeper's honor."

"Is that even a real thing?" Katie asked doubtfully. "Either way, I accept your promise." She grinned up at Oliver, who stood about a third of a meter taller than Katie.

"Well, I should go to my friend's flat. It's me and my BFF's night to make dinner together. We'll hang out soon Oliver." She said, hip-bumping him before apparating away with another cheeky wink.

"Wood, we need you over here for a couple of minutes." Rutherford motioned Oliver over to where he was talking to the Arrow's head coach, Rich Harrison.

"What can I do coach?" Oliver asked, sweating but not too winded after running with the team around the pitch. The rest of the team and the Arrows made their way to the locker rooms. George Finch cast a dirty look over at the three of them before disappearing into the shadows of the stands.

"We have a problem with some players." Harrison said plainly, pushing back his hat and brushing his salty hair back.

"Romaine and Finch." Rutherford clarified.

Harrison looked to Rutherford before explaining, "Finch was caught doing some nasty stuff again last night. It wasn't performance-enhancers, but it isn't what we want to be seeing. Since his contract's already being reviewed, we're going to terminate it."

"Can't say I'm broken-hearted over it." Rutherford murmured.

"And Romaine?" Oliver questioned.

"We've decided that we're going to do a clean sweep, and since Romaine is also under question, we're going to start afresh." Harrison said. "We need you to help hold try-outs for two new seekers. We figured you know what the competition is the most, and we trust you to be impartial. We're also asking you to help train the new recruits in, which we know compromises your position as a Puddlemere player."

"However," Rutherford continued, "we think this will help united the two teams, and since we're only expected to play in the same heat as the Arrows once, it shouldn't be an issue to merge teams a little bit. We can see how well you're doing with your teammates. Now we're offering you the opportunity to help out the Arrows."

"We will be adding a sum to your paycheck, of course." Harrison clarified.

"Just show up to tryouts on Friday if you're up for it." Rutherford stated.

Oliver nodded, thanked the coaches, and headed to the showers.

He changed into jeans and a soft tee, towel drying his hair and apparating to his flat, where Katie Bell was waiting.

"Hey Oliver, how was practice?" She asked from where her feet were propped on his countertop-her eyes deep into Quidditch Weekly. "You didn't forget about us hanging out today, did ya?"

"Practice was good. No, I didn't forget. I just didn't realize you would be sitting on my counter."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Relax, mom. My socks are clean. You can smell them if you want."

Oliver wrinkled his nose. "I think I'll pass."

"Probably a smart decision." Katie admitted, setting the magazine down and wandering over to Oliver's cabinets where she began rummaging around.

"I thought you said they were clean?" Oliver questioned.

"They are. Doesn't mean they don't smell funky. I stepped in some OJ that I spilled earlier." She continued to open and close the doors to Oliver's pantry. Oliver cringed internally. "So, here I am, wanting to make cookies with my best friend, and all you have in your flat is healthy shit. I guess we have to go the grocery store now."

Oliver sighed, resigned to Katie's will. "I'll grab my jacket."

"Good, it's starting to get cold out. I'll make a list of things to get." She ripped an advertising page out of Quidditch Weekly-Oliver almost cried out. "Relax, it's only for some crappy energy drink that you already have a gazillion of in your fridge-very muggle, by the way. I'm impressed."

Oliver scanned the list that Katie had made along the margin of the ad for Quizzle, the Wizarding sports drink.

"Chocolate chips… refined sugar… molasses-ugh, gross Katie, really?... white flour… marshmallows?" Oliver paused, reading aloud the list to Katie as she led him down the dairy aisle. "Why the hell do we need marshmallows?"

Katie shrugged. "They're yummy!"

"Do they even go in the cookies?"

"No, they go into my tummy!" Katie exclaimed, as if Oliver was missing some obvious statement.

Oliver rolled his eyes. "Who even says 'tummy' anymore? Are you five years old or something?"

"Four, actually. And what do you prefer? Abdomen?" She exaggerated the formality of abdomen, pronouncing it "aub-duh-moon".

"Well, that is the scientific name." Oliver clarified in defense of his own expression for the midsection.

Katie ignored him and threw a box of baking soda and a humongous bag of chocolate in the shopping cart. Oliver was too scared to even look at the label for the chocolate.

"Well, now all we have to do is wait." Katie said as she adjusted the oven to the right temp.

Oliver was too horrified by the gruesome battleground that his kitchen had become to relax and wait. Katie had been commander of all troops, Oliver her first lieutenant as Katie directed him this way and that in the process of making their chocolate chunk cookies.

Katie noticed the look on Oliver's face and laughed. "I guess you're right. We should do some cleaning in here before we do anything else." She grabbed the towel that rested on Oliver's shoulder and began to wipe up the flour on the counter as Solo licked the remains off the wood floor.

They were cleaning diligently when Oliver brought up the question he had been meaning to ask all day. "Katie, if I said I might have a spot for you on a Quidditch team, would you play again?"

Katie froze, before resuming her job of mopping up flour and egg shells with more fervency than before. "No."

"Katie, don't mind me asking, but what happened last spring?" Oliver paused in washing dishes to look Katie in the eye.

"You want to know about the scandal that got me kicked off the Tornados?" She stopped as well, looking him straight back.

"Yes." Oliver nodded.

"I refused to take a bribe to do steroid-charms. I wasn't performing up to the Tornados standards, and they tried to pay me to have someone perform performance-enhancing charms on me. I refused, and practices got harder. Harder than yours by a long shot.

"I tried to take the story to the officials, but they claimed there wasn't enough evidence, and since none of the other team members were under an influence, I couldn't gather any. When my coaches got wind, they claimed that I had faked a leg injury I underwent earlier in the year and terminated my contract. They told all other coaches and owners in the league that I was a phony, a fake, and a whiner." Katie's eyes grew wider, and fiercer, the grip on her towel became more forceful, the skin around her knuckles stretching.

"My body was a weapon for them, always needing to be more fine-tuned, polished in certain spots, only to be used and destroyed in the use of it. I don't want to go into Quidditch again because I'm afraid of being used like I was before." Katie looked down at her white knuckles, breathing out and in to calm down her nerves.

Oliver placed his large, warm hands over Katie's clenched fists.

"Katie, I think it's very brave of you to tell me this. I'm sorry that those people ruined your look on Quidditch. Now it's my turn to talk."

Katie's hands relaxed into Oliver's as he began to talk.

"Katie, I'm not afraid of missing the Quaffle. I'm afraid of watching the Quaffle go through the hoops and know that I can't do anything about it. I have to have control, I have to be able to fix things. That's how I am. Quidditch has always been my thing because it is something I can always improve on even when it feels like I suck at the rest of life. When I feel like a failure, I have Quidditch. It allows me to control things. Especially as a captain. I see my team as a machine-not a weapon- but a conjunction of working parts moving as one. When something goes wrong, I can fix it. I can see what part of the whole needs to be repaired. I can tell you exactly what's wrong with Allison's left overhand or why I keep missing the undertow righties. These are things I'm currently trying to fix.

"I think Quidditch deserves another chance from you, Katie. You had a bad experience that caused you to fear it, but quidditch was once your passion, it held the love you have for life. I know I sound sappy, and probably idiotic. Please, give it a chance."

Katie looked up at him.

"There are two opening spots on Friday for the Arrows' chaser positions. I want to see you there, giving it your all and having fun, even just for the afternoon. Can you do that for me? Can you do that for yourself?"

"But the coaches think-"

"Once the coaches see how you work, they'll know that the Tornados were wrong. Just please come Katie." Oliver pleaded.

"Ok, I'll give the sport another hurrah." She signed, smiling.

"That's my chaser." Oliver ruffled Katie's hair, who yelped as she realized that she was supposed to take the cookies out two minutes prior.

Katie and Oliver were munching on their creation when Oliver remembered something.

"Hey Kates, what's with you and Chester?"

Katie squirmed. "I like to consider that part of my life as over…"

"But what happened between you guys? You didn't actually date him did you?" Oliver's brow scrunched up at Katie's discomfort.

"Well, it wasn't dating particularly, it was more like a couple months of ya know, more physical stuff…"

Oliver blanched. "Oh, Katie, you can do so much better! I can't believe that you let him sleep with you!"

"Well, it wasn't actually sex, but a lot of late night make-outs." Katie was blushing, under Oliver's concerned gaze.

"Still! What would make you even want to touch such vermin?" Oliver was still in disbelief.

"He had the best abs I've ever seen."

"Oh I doubt they're really that great." Oliver shook his head.

"Well, they were. But that's long over. I only put up with it because I was in denial over myself. I thought that I didn't need anything after I lost my career like that. Chester was the comfort that I wanted but didn't need." Katie explained.

"What was the comfort you needed?" Oliver asked.

"I still don't know. I only broke things up with Chester a month ago, so I'm still looking I guess. I'm just not as vulnerable anymore with him."

Oliver nodded. "Good."

"Chester still tries to make it up to me though. I haven't given in to him yet though."

Oliver scoffed. "It's not like it's that hard."

"It's the abs, Oliver. The other week he showed up at my apartment when I got home from the mart. He was sitting there on my table with no shirt on. I almost did him right there."

"How often does he just show up at your apartment?" Oliver asked, irritated.

"Every few days. He's remarkably good at lock-breaking charms." Katie admitted, shrugging.

"Can't you alert the Ministry or the muggle police?" Oliver put his head in his hand, looking seriously at Katie, concerned.

"Well, technically I was supposed to move out of my place three weeks ago, but my landlord is soft on me so he's letting me squat. I would pay him, but I haven't had a job in six months."

Oliver sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "Katie why didn't you ask anyone for help?"

"And admit that I didn't have a lot of money?" She scoffed, biting into a cookie.

Oliver looked at her skeptically. "You have a lot of problems."

"Pshh. At least I've accepted mine. You're in denial over yours." She pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Oliver asked defensively.

"I can see you squirm every time you look at the mess we made in your kitchen. Every time I spill crumbs on the counter you wince." Katie explained.

Oliver protested. "No I don't!"

Katie raised an eyebrow.

"Anyways, back to the important subject at hand." Oliver interjected. "You need somewhere to live."

Katie shrugged.

"How about this, after the try-out Friday, you bring your stuff here and you can stay in the second bedroom until we find you an actual apartment." Oliver suggested after thinking it over.

"I suppose…" Katie said, mulling it over. "As long as you don't tell my dad. He would have me live with him but there's no room for me in his flat and he's too afraid to admit that he really can't help me financially."

Oliver nodded. "Deal." He stuck out his hand for a handshake, and Katie high-fived him.

"Are you ready to live with a slob though Oliver? Because I think this experience is going to be really good for your controlling instincts." She smirked as she let crumbs fall from her hand onto the counter.

Oliver flinched.

"Ha! There's that flinch!"

"I wasn't flinching, and I don't care if things are that organized and clean-"

Oliver let out a manly yelp as Katie nudged the bag of flour off the countertop. Flour went everywhere. Katie smirked at Oliver's horrified expression.

"Oh this is going to be so fun." Katie added.

Oliver stood panting in the dying light of the sun on the pitch, Katie slightly breathless besides him. Oliver had taken her and another recruit, Lucas, through the usual drills earlier in the afternoon and they had just finished a scrimmage with the other remaining players from the Arrows. Katie was the only one to score on Oliver the whole afternoon, and the rest of the time he had been busy working hard to defend his hoops against her and the other two chasers. Katie had taken this tryout very seriously, giving it her best shots and working her arse harder than anyone on the team, pushing everyone else to do better. The look on the usually carefree and chatty chaser's face was stoic and scary. Oliver knew that this had come to hold a lot of weight on Katie's shoulders. This was her career, her passion and she was afraid to lose it again after putting herself so close to the action again.

"Damn." Oliver sighed under his breath as Katie and the other team members meandered on over to the bench to get water and to finish up the practice.

Another voice mirrored Olivers thoughts, whistling and exclaiming, "Damn!". It was Rich Harrison, impressed by the recruits, especially Katie.

"Ms. Bell, that was some impressive shit for a first-practice recruit!" He exclaimed. "Lucas, thanks for coming, glad that you'll be joining us as well."

Lucas shook his hand, still recovering from his final sprint up the field to score.

Katie nodded. "Thank you sir."

"I do hope you'll be joining us for the season?"

Katie bit her lip nervously and looked over to Oliver, who was smiling at her. "I'd love to, sir."

"Enough of this 'sir' crap. We'll go over contract stuff with you and Lucas tomorrow after we all go to the final pre-season game tomorrow. Puddlemere versus Bats!" Harrison explained animatedly, in a much better mood after seeing how promising his new recruits are. "Best of luck to you and your team tomorrow, Wood. Good practice everyone, hit the showers! I'll see you in our box here at nine tomorrow! Don't be late or I'll have to call you a bitch and slap you!" Harrison chuckled as he followed his coaching staff into the locker room bay.

Katie remained on the pitch for a while, Oliver waiting for her to talk, letting her soak it all in.

The sun had passed beyond the stands and the stadium lights were magically beginning to flicker on, shedding the grass in a liquid sea green.

"Thank you Oliver." Katie finally said, biting her lips to keep back a grin.

Oliver stepped over to her and nodded, running a hand back through his hair. "You deserved the chance. You crushed everyone's expectations."

Katie smiled at the thought of playing Quidditch again. "It meant a lot to me, to be able to play again today; to prove myself."

"I know." Oliver said. He looked over at her, breathing a puff of air into the silky night.

She smirked. "I scored on you."

"Um, about that, I was only trying to make you look good at practice."

"Sure you were." Katie said. "Just to prove it, do you want to go again?"

Oliver sighed. "Allright, but we need to go home before eight. We have to unpack all your girly shit."

Katie laughed and shot into the sky.