"Great...great...this is coming along nicely..."

I watched the mansion being built right before my eyes. You think humans work hard? (Some of them, anyway.) Boos work much, much harder. We really don't have any nerves or muscles, so we can't tire. Plus, remember...strength in numbers...

Golly, I was right. The mansion really was coming by faster than I had thought before. I thought we might get it done in a single night, but half the size of the mansion was already finished. Some ghosts were working on the rooms inside. Boos were appearing everywhere, carrying wood, metal, dead cheetah skins for a trophy room, you name it.

Although I must admit, sitting back and watching the fireworks was pretty boring work. So let's skip ahead, shall we?

Finally, the mansion was done. It was quite a sight to behold. It was creepy, which suited us ghosts just fine. I floated into the mansion, not bothering to use the door, and hovered in the foyer.

"This is absolutely genius!" I shouted. "Perfect! Such a nice stairway!" I ran a hand over the metal railing on the sides of the stairs. Not even any dust. But then again, it was recent.

"Now what?" a Boo asked.

"Now," I said with the most malicious grin I could muster, "we write a little invitation letter to Mario. No, wait, Luigi. Mario may be smart enough to see through such a thing. But Luigi is timid, scared, and he hasn't even gone on any adventures."

"Well, there were those few--"

"Be quiet, TurBoo. Don't spoil the moment." Clearing my throat, I continued. "Luigi will be so gullible, he'll call up his brother and ask him to meet him at the mansion. Whoever arrives first, we attack, then put in a picture for the rest of his miserable life. A nice picture, with a golden frame. Like mine."

My grin grew wider. Many more evil faces appeared in the crowd. They were getting hyped up.

"Does anybody have a sheet of paper?"

TurBoo dashed off, quick little guy, and soon returned to the foyer, holding up an empty hand.

"Here you go!"

"What are you trying to give me?"

"Paper."

TurBoo looked at his hand and blushed as much as a ghost could blush.

"Paper is solid, TurBoo. It doesn't go through walls."

Looking sad, the Boo floated back through the wall on my left and went through the double doors carrying a sheet of paper, a pen, and an envelope.

"Great! Now, time to start working..."

I thought a little bit while I played with the pen in my hand. Then I wrote:

Mr. Luigi,

You have won a mansion in the Mighty Popcorn Sweepstakes! --A few Boos snickered a little as they read along. There's no such thing as Mighty Popcorn. This wonderful beauty out in a splendid forest is the perfect home for anyone! Drop by the mansion and see your new home!!

It was a sappy letter, but please. They were gullible. And, as you probably know, they bought it.

After sealing the letter in the envelope and doing whatever else was necessary, I sent the lovely Boonita to sneak over to the Mario brothers' house and put it in the mailbox. Mario was out of town, but closer to the mansion than Luigi was. (How do I know this? The professor's got a TV right next to the room my portrait was in, so I heard everything on that famous plumber's whereabouts. Why, showing that sort of thing is almost as stupid as showing Bowser a news program saying a princess is going to a tropical island for a vacation!) So, Luigi would find the letter...get psyched!...call Mario!...and meet his doom.

--

"He's coming! He's coming!"

UnderBoo, who was keeping watch through a window on the third floor, zoomed back down to the foyer and told us the great news. I peeked out a window and saw that, sure enough, some gullible dope in red was marching down the path, right into our trap.

"Everybody hide!" I hissed.

The ghosts were in whatever rooms suited them best, so they didn't have to worry about hiding. The 50 Boos and I, however, were all waiting anxiously in the foyer, so we hid inside cabinets, shelves, potted plants, decorations, even in other rooms.

I heard the door open. Oh, man, was that a pleasant sound. I heard an Italian voice yell, "Luigi? Are you here yet?" No answer. Of course. But that didn't stop him from continuing to walk around the foyer stupidly.

Then was my chance. I leaped out and scared the living daylights out of Mario; you should have seen it. The other Boos, on que, appeared seemingly out of nowhere around the surprised plumber. He took a fighting stance, but like that would help him. We closed in and rushed him. He was a piece of cake to deal with. The Boos pummeled him and swarmed around him. The plumber, sore and knowing his doom was near, took out a piece of paper and scribbled on it furiously. Don't know what he wrote, but maybe it was some sort of warning to Luigi. Too late.

My loyal minions dragged Mario off to the courtyard, where a well led to a secret room with an altar where Mario's picture was. Several Boos came back with various things the plumber had.

"Look what I find in his pocket!" TamBoorine shouted excitedly. "It's a star! ...Or something. I'm gonna keep it!"

"Here's his hat," Boolicious said, holding our victim's cap up. He sniffed it and frowned. "Hmm. Smells bad. Smells like..." He glanced over at LimBooger. "Well, never mind. I'm gonna wash it." And off he went.

A couple other items were obtained, like his glove and shoe. I let the Boos keep them as souvenirs.

--

Back down in the well, I was having a mighty fine time.

Mario had been successfully caught. It was so easy, too. Bowser is just too stupid to ever think of such a thing. All those plans failed because he tried, well, whatever: Secret weapons, princesses as bait, large armies...but they all failed. All he needed was a simple ambush, right off the bat. I thought about that as I looked at my brand-new Mario picture.

"I can't believe it actually worked," I said to Mario, who was obviously yelling, but no sound came out of his silent picture. "You are just too stupid. Marching in here like it was honestly your brother's mansion...well, I'd better be getting back up. Your brother should be coming any moment now."

I couldn't hear him say anything, of course, but the last thing he shouted was, "Not Luigi!"

Oh, yes Luigi.