Welcome to 101-200 of our story! Please enjoy!
And I believe in nargles too, #95 refers to Ariana Dumbledore.
101. I am not a dementor.
102. I am only allowed to have an owl, cat, or toad. I cannot keep a Blast-Ended Skrewt as a pet.
103. Even if Hagrid insists I have one.
104. I will not murder the DADA teacher and just start teaching the Dark Arts.
105. When Crabbe or Goyle walks into a room, I should not sing the Augustus Gloop song.
106. If I absolutely have to kill somebody, I will use the Avada Kedavra curse rather than Accioing their internal organs.
107. I will not Apparate home instead of taking the Hogwarts Express like everyone else.
108. Mainly because it might be hard to sneak off the grounds unnoticed.
109. I will not set up Draco Malfoy on a blind date with Rita Skeeter.
110. I will not make up a notebook of fake spells and sell them as cheat sheets to Slytherins.
111. I will not give each student a Puking Pastille so that the professors have no choice but to cancel classes
112. I will also not give these to any professor.
113. And I will not sneak it into a potion and feed it to Snape.
114. Mrs. Norris does not wish to play with Muggle cats, and I will not kidnap her over the summer.
115. When a professor asks to see me, I must not scowl and say, "WHADDYA WANT?" instead of, "You wanted to see me, Professor?"
116. Dumbledore is not "dumber than a doornail" even if his name sounds a little like it.
117. I will not place a litterbox in Professor McGonagall's office.
118. When Hermione is within earshot, I will not say loudly, "You might be a Mudblood if..."
119. Draco Malfoy is not wearing a diaper under his robes.
120. Nor do I need to make sure he has his binky before going to bed.
121. Spreading such rumors is not funny.
122. Okay, maybe it is, but only if no Slytherin ever finds out.
123. Snape is not my boyfriend.
124. Voldemort is not my boyfriend.
125. It is fine if I have a boyfriend but they must be a student.
126. I will not give Cho Love Potion Number 9 and make Harry watch her fall in love with Draco Malfoy.
127. Or, even worse, Lucius Malfoy.
128. I must not steal the Sorting hat at any point before the year's first years have been Sorted.
129. I will not push Snape into the Vanishing Cabinet.
130. Dobby is not a proper date to the Yule Ball.
131.I am to assume that bringing a house-elf to any such gatherings is inappropriate and will be viewed as weird.
132. If I turn seventeen over the summer holidays, I will not take advantage of this and Apparate left and right.
133. I will especially not Apparate if I do not turn seventeen until the school year begins.
134.I must not use house-elves as my personal slaves.
135. Well, not while at school. There are no such rules outside of Hogwarts.
136. I will not kiss Trevor and yell at Neville when he does not turn into a prince.
137. Trevor is a toad, not a frog.
138. If Snape takes away my House points, I must not put the slug curse on him.
139. I must not curse Snape or any Professor at all.
140. When students sit their O.W.L.S., I will not unleash owls into the room.
141. The wrath of Hermione will be upon me if I send house-elves on suicide missions.
142. Yelling "BAM!" and running away is not Apparition.
143. If I insist that it is, I will be deemed insane and sent to St. Mungo's.
144. Getting Slytherins to commit suicide is just wrong.
145. This does not imply I should kill them.
146. I will not give Snape Love Potion Number 9.
147. I will not give Voldemort Love Potion Number 9.
148. I will not give Dumbledore Love Potion Number 9.
149. I will not give a dementor Love Potion Number 9.
150. And I am not to give Harry Potter Love Potion Number 9.
151. I will not order a pizza to the Gryffindor common room.
152. Especially if that is not my House.
153. Not all witches melt when water is poured on them, and I will not test this experiment on the Hogwarts grounds.
154. I should not be sending Howlers to Death Eaters.
155: Even if they killed my mother, father, siblings, aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents, fourteenth cousins six times removed, etc.
156: Hogwarts does not need a casino.
157: Dumbledore said so.
158: Even though I think Hogwarts needs a casino.
159: Dumbledore does not need me to read him a bedtime story.
160: Nobody cares how much I want to.
161: I will not name my son Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore Jr.
162: The following are not my middle name:
Lucius
Dolores
Bellatrix
Severus
Wormtail
Purple Rainbow Bunnies III
163: I must never read Harry Potter books during my stay at Hogwarts and spoil the end of the year for everyone.
164: Even if I got the whole set for my birthday.
165: I will not walk up to Voldemort and say, "Get a job, you bum."
166: I must not use the Room of Requirement as a gym.
167: I am only allowed to use it for completely harmless and legal reasons
168: I must not feed my professors to Aragog.
169: Not even if I've been given more detentions than I can count.
170: I repeat, I am NOT a dementor.
171: I will never be asked to eat four jelly donuts in Care of Magical Creatures without offering anyone any.
172: I won't hire Death Eaters to jump out of paintings and scare people.
173: Dumbledore does not want me to attack him with a curling iron.
174: Attacking the headmaster with anything will lead to me being expelled.
175: I am not allowed to force a niffler into a box and mail it to Lucius until I graduate Hogwarts.
176: I am forbidden to run down the corridors in my underwear.
177: I am not one of 8 students allowed to leave DADA to go golfing with Sirius Black.
178: I don't know who those 8 students are, but I'm not one of them.
179: I must not squeeze toothpaste into the potion of the nearest Hufflepuff.
180: I won't make cupcakes filled with hot sauce and send them to Snape.
181: Even if I really, really, really want to punch him until he works up the guts to fight back.
182: I will not take down the portrait of Armando Dippet in the headmaster's office and give it to the house-elves.
183: I can't break my Trace with a hammer, and if I continue trying to I'm going to wind up smashing something into itty bitty pieces.
184: I am forbidden to crossbreed snakes and hammerhead sharks in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
185: I won't try and sell half-eaten toast in the Slytherin common room insisting it kind of looks like Bellatrix Lestrange.
186: Especially if that is not my House.
187: I don't want to be eaten by almonds under the Imperius Curse as much as I say I do.
188: The professors don't want to hear about the dream I had about goblins drinking firewhisky in the owlery.
189: The Fat Friar has not proposed to the Gray Lady and I won't spread rumors that he has.
190: I won't throw Daily Prophets all over the floor of the common room because I can't be bothered to pick them up.
191: I will not cry loudly when I drop my Potions textbook on my foot.
192: Toddlers cry loudly when they drop things, not children eleven to eighteen.
193: I am not allowed to refuse to go to detention unless someone gives me some barbeque chips.
194: I am forbidden to tell Muggle-born students that they have to write "Mudblood" on their foreheads and walk around like that.
195: If I do in fact do so, I am to deny the whole incident.
196: Rodolphus Lestrange is not God and I need to stop insisting he is.
197: I can't access Instagram within Hogwarts.
198: My bunny slippers do not attempt to eat my dorm-mates while I'm sleeping.
199: I will be sent away from the Yule Ball if I show up in my nightgown and filthy tennis shoes.
200: I can't skip Transfiguration to enter Peter into a county fair as "The World's Weirdest-Looking Rhinoceros"
Tell me: do you want 50 or 100 things in a chapter?
