1. Enter the Harlequin
Hello, it's future me, writing a message...FROM THE FUTURE, W0o0o0o0! Bold writing will mean a message from current me. As I mentioned in the update, this is all in it's original (mildly cringy) glory. Hopefully the formatting is correct, things got a little skewed after we time traveled, but hopefully I've managed to catch all the weird stuff. (if not, let me know).
This is my first fan fic. So, this is just me sticking my big toe into the fan fiction pool. I hope that I kept Harley in character and everything.
In one episode Harley mentions that she not is a natural blonde, which always made me wonder... Who does Harley's hair? *
Harlequin Hair day
The sunsets in Gotham City were bitter-sweet. They were a dull faded sunset choked out by skyscrapers and pollution, but behind all that they were as beautiful as ever. Still, they were nothing compared to Xelia's home town. In fact, nothing in Gotham was even close to the small town city she had come from. In certain areas homeless people littered the streets, nobody said 'excuse me' or 'pardon me' when on the streets, and Xelia had come to the conclusion that nobody was safe. Everyone had their stories. Their own 'I survived (insert famous Gotham criminal here)' story.
Naomi, Xelia's best friend, coworker, and reason for moving to Gotham, had once been at a bank while it was being robbed by The Joker. The guy in the apartment across from her had once been carjacked by The Riddler. Also, a little old lady told her once, while Xelia was giving the lady a perm, that she had been The Scarecrow's 3rd grade teacher. The most alarming thing is that nobody is really too concerned. They just go about their lives, while crazy criminals run amok around the city. The people of Gotham live in the false illusion that if anything should happen to them, The Batman will save them. Xelia had nothing against Batman, but he was only one guy. There was thousands of people in Gotham, Xelia didn't need to do the math to see that, sometimes, there might not be enough Batman to go around.
Xelia blew some of her hair out of her face as she swept some hair out from under the barber chairs. Naomi had, in record time, counted the money in the register and threw it into the safe. It was her boyfriend's birthday and she was counting the minutes, maybe even seconds, till it was time to clock out.
"Hurry up, clock!" Xelia raised an eyebrow at her friend before looking at the clock herself.
"If you want to go, Naomi, I can finish closing up. I'll just clock you out when I clock out," Xelia offered with a smile.
Naomi squealed and jumped at her best friend. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Naomi said, giving her a large hug, "I promise that I will return the favor." She said letting her friend breath once more. Xelia walked Naomi to the back door of the hair salon, and turned the outside lights on so they could see. "Are you sure you'll be ok? I can always wait around, if you want. I feel bad making you close the salon alone." Naomi said as Xelia just rolled her eyes at her.
"I'll be fine. It's, like, 15 minutes till I can leave. I'm pretty sure that I can handle this." Xelia told her reassuringly.
"Ok, you're right. Promise me you'll call me when you get back to the apartment, ok?" Naomi said as she crawled into her car. Xelia, once again, rolled her eyes at her best friend, or in this case, overprotective mom friend.
"Yes, mother dearest." Xelia said teasingly. As soon as Naomi started her car Xelia walked back into the hair salon. She turned the neon 'open' sign off as she wiped down the front windows of the salon. The loud 'tick-tock' of the clock on the wall soothed Xelia as she finished the closing procedures.
"Let's see," She said to herself, after a while, "The register and balances are done, I just clocked Naomi and I out, front window is clean… So, just finish sweeping, and I'll be good to go." Xelia said, picking up the broom she had left forgotten, and swept the hair into a pile. She grabbed the dust pan and crouched down to the pile. She nearly fell over, as the bell above the salon's door chimed. She cautiously peered over the short divider between the barber chairs and the door. A figure, dressed in a dark trench coat with a hat pulled down over its face, stood there. Xelia's mind started to race as she stood to her full height, which as barely over 5 foot, and not tall enough to even scare small children. She took note that the figure it's self wasn't an intimidating height, nor was it largely figured.
"Sorry, but we are closed." Xelia said, trying her best to sound apologetic, rather than severely terrified by the stranger.
"Yeah, I know, but I just gotta get my hair done." The voice belonged to a woman who sounded like she just stepped out of the Bronx. Xelia's stiff stance relaxed a bit on hearing the woman's voice, somehow feeling less intimidated by a woman rather than a man. Still, it was closing time, and Xelia really wanted to just crash land on her and Naomi's couch.
"Well we open at 9AM tomorrow; if you want I can schedule you an appointment." Xelia offered, hoping the lady will make one and leave. The lady sighed and reached into her coat.
"Look, sweetie, I don't wanna hurt cha, but I've got some plans tomorrow, and my roots ain't gettin any shorta." With that said the lady pulled out a pistol and carelessly aimed it in Xelia's direction.
"Woah!" Xelia said, putting her hands half way up in a surrendering pose, "Hey, you want your hair dyed, no problem. Consider it done yesterday."
"Great, let's get started." She said as she moved over to a barber chair. She threw her coat and hat onto the chair next to her, revealing her identity. Xelia nearly dropped the supplies at the sight of Harleen Quinnzel, AKA Harley Quinn, sitting there. She was in full costume, minus her jester's hood, which Xelia was sure was somewhere on her person. Xelia cautiously stepped up to the villain and wrapped a black cape over her front. "So, how long have ya been in the biz? Ya don't look too old." Harley asked, as she watched Xelia in the large mirror. Xelia nervously licked her lips before answering.
"Uh, I graduated beauty school two years ago. I've been dying my own hair for years though." Xelia answered as she gathered what she needed for the Gotham rogue's hair. It was an awkward situation, to work on someone's hair who had just threatened you with a gun minutes earlier.
"Yeah, your hair is what brought my attention to tha salon. I saw it in a newspaper advertisement. How many colors do ya got in there anyways?" She asked looking over Xelia's rainbow hair.
"Nine colors." Xelia answered, cursing her attention drawing hair. During high school Xelia always had unnatural colored hair, so it was only a matter of time before she put all of them together. She loved doing extreme things with her hair, and rainbow seemed to be exceedingly extreme. Had she known that it would grab the attention of a wanted criminal, she probably would have rather shaved her head. Xelia's hand shook as she handled Harley's hair.
"Don't worry, I ain't gunna bite ya or nothin." Harley reassured, pouting, "I ain't a bad person, I just like ta have a little fun." She said in her defense. Xelia just pursed her lips as she steadily worked on Harley's hair.
For the most part, it was Harley talking and asking questions about Xelia. Xelia, on the other hand, was trying her best to not talk about anything too personal. The less she knew about Harley Quinn's personal life the better, and vise versa. "You look totally different in this pictcha." Xelia dropped the dye brush as Harley grabbed Xelia's cosmetology license. She watched over her shoulder as Harley looked over the license. Xelia's mind mentally went over all the information that was on the license. It had some legal mumbo-jumbo, and her full name. Her full legal name is now known by Harley Quinn. Xelia mentally told herself that that wasn't a thing to worry about, but she knew better. She grabbed a spare brush as she went back to Harley's hair.
"Xelia sure is a funny name." Harley commented, putting the license back, "It's really unique."
"Tell me about it." Xelia muttered, used to people commenting on her name. She often wondered if her name was a result of her parents throwing some scrabble letters on the floor. "Ok, so just a couple more minutes and you'll be done." Xelia said, guiding Harley to the hair washing sinks. She giggled throughout the hair wash, claiming that it ticked when Xelia washed her hair.
When Xelia was done she led Harley back to the barber chairs, attempting to ward off an oncoming headache. "Uh, just tell me if the blow dryer gets too hot." Xelia said turning on the blow dryer, hoping that it will end the conversation for a while. It didn't though. Harley just yelled over the noise of the blow dryer. Xelia felt as if she was in a nightmare right now. She was stuck in a room with Harley Quinn as she rambled on about The Joker, rather, her "Puddin'".
"So, then Puddin' took tha whole place hostage. You shoulda seen how happy he was." Harley said as she sighed dreamily. Xelia hadn't really been listening, she answered Harley with some 'yep's and 'huh's. She didn't want to say the wrong thing to Harley; after all, she did have a gun.
"You'll have ta meet my Puddin' one day, then you'll understan what I mean. He's a great guy, just an odd sense of humah." Harley said shrugging. Xelia undid the cape from Harley's neck and stepped back, as Harley examined Xelia's handiwork. "It looks great, thanks Skittles!" Harley squealed happily as she ran a hand through her hair. Xelia raised an eyebrow at Harley's nickname for her, but said nothing. Harley turned towards Xelia and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "So, um, no hard feelin's, right, Skittles?" With that said she shoved a wad of dollar bills into Xelia's hand.
"Yeah, no hard feelings." Xelia agreed. She wasn't sure what to do, really. Harley was technically a paying customer and, minus threatening her, she hadn't done anything wrong per se. She just decided to smile, and tell Naomi about it later.
"So, uh, I'll be headin' out now. Thanks!" And with that Harley Quinn left the hair salon, leaving a stunned Xelia standing there with four hundred dollars clenched in her hand. Xelia numbly fumbled with the locks on the salon's front door, making triple sure that they were locked. She looked up into the dark skies to see the bat signal illuminating the skies. Shaking her head she hopped into her car and headed towards her apartment. Naomi was going to kill her for not calling her.
So, what did you think? Did you like it? Did it suck?*
(I'm playing around with the idea of expanding my story to a multi-chapter, but not really sure)
Jokes on you, past me, this will turn into an entire SERIES. And then you'll fall into a deep depression because you thought you lost them, BUT THEN YOULL BE BLESS WITH THEM AGAIN AND IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!Ok, but in all seriousness when I saw these again, I was at work, and actually had to go into the bathroom AND CRY. I ACTUALLY CRIED TEARS OF JOY. Lol, my life is weird.
