Chapter 2: The Commute Addendum

Penny was enjoying a bowl of Rice Chex on her sofa while watching a rerun of some 90s television show. She wasn't really sure what it was, just that the main character reminded her a little of Amy.

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

She groaned, put her bowl down, and went to wait for Sheldon to finish knocking.

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

It occurred to her that perhaps the grocery shopping trip she had planned to take Sheldon on was happening today instead of tomorrow, which was what she had scribbled on a sticky note on her refrigerator.

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

She opened the door, confused.

"Good morning, Sheldon. Are we supposed to go grocery shopping now? Or is that tomorrow?"

"Grocery shopping is on Wednesday evenings after New Comic Book Night, Penny. No, I need to speak with you about something else."

Penny shrugged. "Sure, what is it?"

Sheldon paused for a moment, looking unsure.

"Spit it out, sweetie."

"I can't take the bus anymore! I can't do it, Penny! The bus driver is always late and by the time the bus gets to my stop, my spot on the bus is always taken by some grimy old man, and the bus driver apparently can't drive very well because he always slams on the brakes at the very last second. I live in constant fear of a concussion from hitting my forehead against the seat in front of me. And I have to transfer buses, which always makes me nervous, because if the first bus is late I have to wait an extra seven or eight minutes for the second bus." He finished off with what Penny thought looked like a puppy dog face.

Penny sighed. "Sheldon, I already told you can't drive you to work every day. I work the breakfast shift three days a week. And...you haven't exactly become a better passenger since the last time I had to drive you to work."

"Can you at least drive me today? I'm going to be late for work if I take the bus. It takes an extra twenty minutes because of the way the routes interact."

"All right, fine. But when you get home we are figuring out a plan that works for everybody," Penny grumbled. "Including the poor bus driver," she added under her breath.


Amy removed a fresh brain from the preservation liquid and placed it carefully on her lab table.

"Okay, this baby's got an enlarged hypothalamus to study," she said, looking at the label on the container it came from. "Let's find ourselves a nice big one!"

Just as she was about to make the first incision with her scalpel, her cell phone rang on her desk.

"If Sheldon has another 'emergency splinter', I might just stick that scalpel in him instead...oh good, it's Penny."

She answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Amy! You gotta help me!" Penny cried on the other end.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Sheldon. He won't take the bus to work and I already explained to him that I cannot drive him most of the time. Can you come over tonight and help me tell him he needs to find some other way to transport himself?"

"I guess so. How come he doesn't drive, anyway?"

"The last time he tried to get his license, he used a simulator to drive into the second floor of the Glendale Galleria. We decided it was better to protect the people and the mall from Sheldon's terrible driving."

"I can see how that would be preferable. I'll help you think of an alternative."

"Thanks, Amy! I know he will listen to you. He barely ever listens to me."

Amy smiled, glad that she could make both Penny and Sheldon feel better. "I've already got an idea. The university is only a mile or two away from his apartment. Couldn't he just walk?"

"That's brilliant! Let's start with that. I'll try to come up with some other ideas before I pick him up."

"Sheldon's making you pick him up as well?" Amy asked.

"Well, it's Tuesday. He eats at the Cheesecake Factory on Tuesday. I figured I might as well, since we're going to the same place anyway."

"Okay, then. I'll see you when your shift ends at the Cheesecake Factory. Bye, bestie!"

"Bye, Amy!" Penny said, giggling on the other end.

Amy hung up, faced the brain, and began to plan her course of action. "Let's start by removing the cerebellum..."


"I have to say, Penny, the Cheesecake Factory's bacon cheeseburger has vastly improved in quality the past two weeks. The burger patty is far less crispy, which is preferable," Sheldon said to her as they climbed the stairs.

"Oh yeah, we got a new cook. His name's Brandon," Penny replied.

"Well, then, my compliments to the chef. Let him know his burgers are of excellent quality."

When Sheldon and Penny reached the landing Amy was standing there waiting for them.

"Amy, what are you doing here?" asked Sheldon.

"Penny asked me to come over to help you figure out a more manageable fashion to get to work. She said, and I quote, 'he barely ever listens to me,' so I figured I could aid both of you reach a temporary conclusion until Leonard returns."

Sheldon gave Penny a displeased look, and then unlocked his door. "You're ganging up on me now," he said.

Penny simply shared a knowing look with Amy, and they both followed him inside the apartment.

"All right, Sheldon, we will list your options on Leonard's whiteboard, then we will discuss, and then we will create a temporary addendum to the Relationship Agreement detailing your course of action, called the Commute Addendum," Amy said, uncapping a dry-erase marker and testing it out on the board.

"I object," Sheldon said, raising his hand.

"Already?" Penny asked, confused. "We haven't even started yet."

"Transportation is not a subject that is covered in the Relationship Agreement," Sheldon said passionately. "That's only in the Roommate Agreement with Leonard. Therefore it has no place as a temporary addendum to the Relationship Agreement." He put his hand down, looking satisfied.

"Well, seeing as one of your potential options of transportation is me, albeit on a very limited basis, I move that it should be added as at least a footnote," Amy replied, writing "1. Amy drives Sheldon" on the whiteboard.

"Amy, you know that the idea of you driving me to work is immensely impractical. You live in Glendale and work in Westwood, a city 17 miles west of Glendale as the crow flies but 45 minutes away by car due to Los Angeles traffic patterns. You have, on occasion, complained to me about your lengthy commute. Why would you add to your trouble and throw off your daily schedule by driving nine miles east to Pasadena to drive me to work, and then have to go even farther to get to UCLA?"

Amy frowned. "You don't want me to drive you to work?"

"Not if it increases your commute time by an extra twenty minutes. I already figured it out on Google Maps," he explained, holding up his cell phone to show her the complicated route.

Amy scanned the map quickly, her frown deepening. "It would take considerable shuffling of my schedule to make this work out."

"You see? I would prefer for you to drive me, but not at the expense of your research."

Penny, who had been silent through their exchange, suddenly spoke up. "Then how come you ask me to drive you places while I'm working?"

"Penny, you work at the Cheesecake Factory ten blocks away from the university. Even if you were researching something, such as the proper amount of time to cook a burger so it isn't burnt, it would still only take you about five minutes to drive over and pick me up."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Whatever. What about the idea of Sheldon walking to and from work? Or riding a bicycle?"

Amy wrote down "2. Sheldon walks to work" and "3. Sheldon bikes to work" neatly on the board. "Any objections to these?"

"I don't own a bicycle," Sheldon said.

"But do you know how to ride one?" Penny asked.

"I haven't ridden one recently. When I was in graduate school, however, I used my bicycle to get between my residence hall and my classes quite often during daylight hours."

"What did you do at night?" Amy asked.

"I used the campus escort service."

"Okay, enough about graduate school," said Penny, becoming frustrated. "Would you be willing to ride a bicycle to work at least some of the time, if we got you one?"

"Well..." Sheldon began, "it would depend on the length of the bicycle route. Hold on."

He typed something into his phone, and smiled. "The bicycle route is shorter than the automobile route to Caltech. I'm sure I could bike the required 2.5 miles if I worked up to it."

"All right then, you can bike to work. It's settled," said Penny.

"Wait, Sheldon, I think I can change my schedule just for one day a week," Amy said, staring at her cell phone. "If I can arrange to have one of my colleagues unlock the door to my lab so that the doctoral candidates can have access to it, I should be able to drive you to work on Friday mornings."

"Really? Are you sure?" Sheldon asked, looking like a four year old in a candy store.

"Yes. You see, on Friday mornings, the doctoral candidates are doing work in my lab, and I usually have to sit in the faculty dining room until about 10 am, when they finish. Taking you to work will alleviate some of the awkwardness I have encountered with the cafeteria staff whilst sitting there with my computer for three hours. And it will allow us to discuss Date Night in person instead of via video chat on the second Friday of the month."

"An added bonus to our mornings in the car. All right, I say the Commute Addendum is a go. I'll type it up and then we can both move for its inclusion in the Relationship Agreement in about a half hour or so," Sheldon said excitedly, walking over to his computer.

"Excellent," said Amy. Turning to Penny, she continued, "I have a feeling Leonard will want the Commute Addendum to become a permanent part of the Relationship Agreement."

Penny nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. So...how are we going to get Sheldon a bike by tomorrow morning?"

Amy immediately stopped smiling. "I hadn't thought about that."


A/N: This chapter turned out far longer than I intended it to. Ah well. Hope you enjoyed it! See you next time!