(Chapter 2)

Peter woke up with a slight sense of confusion till he remember he was on the sofa in Neal's apartment. He rolled over to his side and peered over at his friend, sitting up when he saw the young man was not in bed. Peter turned towards the bathroom door but there was no light underneath it and the main door was still shut. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, standing up and looking around the room. Dim light wafted in through the terrace doors, Peter walking over to open them up. He paused when he saw a figure slumped in one of the chairs at the wrought iron table outside. It was Neal.

Peter walked over and nudged the young man who held his cell phone to his ear although he was obviously asleep. The young man didn't respond, Peter taking the cell phone which seemed to still be connected. He could just hear breathing on the other side.

"Hello?" Peter spoke softly and heard a voice answer back.

"Hi Suit. I think Neal fell asleep on me... considering he woke me up to chat. Tell him he owes me breakfast." Mozzie's voice was it's usual snark, Peter smiling.

"Not a problem." Peter heard the phone go click and hung it up. It looked like Neal had left the phone on a while, Peter placing it on the table as he made to lift the young man up and walk him over to his bed. Neal's skin felt cold, his face pale from having been out in the night air. He coughed a bit as Peter lifted him up and half-carried him back inside.

"Peter? I guess I fell... asleep... outside." Neal's voice was slightly hoarse, probably from the cold air. He coughed again which was beginning to sound like the start of a bad cold. Peter sighed, helping his friend into his bed and covering him up. Neal shivered, curling up onto his side beneath the covers. Peter felt the young man's forehead but he didn't feel warm so he didn't have a fever... yet.

"I'm going to tell Hughes you're not coming in today. Rest. I'll be back around lunch time to check up on you, ok?" He saw Neal nod back at him as the young man started to fall asleep again. Peter checked the young man's forehead one last time before going back out on the terrace. He picked up Neal's phone and walked back inside, closing the doors and placing it on the nightstand. Peter looked at his friend sleeping, his face like a little boy's, his body shuddering slightly as he coughed in his sleep.

()()()

Peter closed the door behind him, moving towards the stairs when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned to see June there, her finger to her lips as they tiptoed down the stairs, chatting quietly.

"You boys came in late last night." She patted him on the arm, Peter smiling with a slight blush.

"We were hoping we didn't wake you up. I apologize." Peter followed June into the kitchen where she offered him a cup of ambrosia: her Italian roast. He smiled gratefully.

"I was already awake reading a book one of my children sent me. I think you met my granddaughter but not my son. I'll have to introduce you some time. You can bring Elizabeth and we'll make it an event." She smiled, offering him a refill in a paper cup as he looked at his watch. Peter nodded with a smile.

"Thanks, June. Can you... well Neal isn't feeling very well. I think he's coming down with a cold so I let him sleep. Can you look in on him?" He gave her an apologetic look but she just smiled and squeezed his arm in a half-hug.

"Not a problem. I'm always checking up on him. He's not as mopey as he was before but he's still been lax enough about sleeping and eating I've had to nudge him a bit. I'll look in on him. I guess you'll go home before work? Say Hi to El for me." Her manner was almost matronly towards Neal, a concerned look on her face turning to a smile when she mentioned his wife.

"Thanks and I will."

()()()

Peter made it home in less time than he thought, calling Hughes along the way to let him know he would be running a few minutes late. He parked the Taurus along the curb in front of the two story home he shared with his lovely wife Elizabeth. He saw a movement near the curtains and the door opened, El waving at him as he trotted up the stairs towards her. He wrapped his arms around her as they entered their home and closed the door, reaching down to kiss her. El smiled up at him.

"Someone missed me. How is Neal?" Her voice was cheerful for so early in the morning. He smiled back, hugging her again and walking upstairs.

"He's good. Let me jump in the shower and change and I'll tell you the rest after?" Peter trotted up the stairs, El glancing up.

"I'll fix you something for breakfast?" Her voice called up, Peter answering.

"Sounds good."

()()()

Peter sat at the dining table with his wife, clean and dressed in fresh clothes. He felt good but his thoughts continued to worry about his partner as he sipped at his coffee. El seemed to know something was bugging him and tapped him gently on the shoulder.

"Hmm...? Sorry, just thinking about Neal." Peter's voice sounded worried, El scooting over with her chair to hug him.

"What's wrong with Neal? You had a good night on the stakeout, right?" She leaned on his shoulder, her hand wrapped around him. Peter gently leaned his head on hers, a slight frown on his face.

"He's worrying about something but won't tell me what. He was having nightmares about something and asking me for 'forgiveness.' He didn't seem keen to talk about it but I don't buy that it was about the music box. I suspect he may have been thinking about Kate but he wouldn't admit it." Peter's tone was frustrated, the FBI agent in him speaking. El poked him and he ouched.

"What was that for?" He recognized the look on her face and blushed slightly.

"Haven't I told you before about letting the agent side of you take over. He needs a friend, Peter. He's not going to talk to Agent Burke of the FBI, got it?" She slapped his face gently, squeezing it between her hands and kissing him. Her eyes looked up at the clock.

"I think it's time for you to go. Don't need Agent Burke getting yelled at by his boss." She kissed him again as he rose and smiled.

"Thanks, El. I'm going to go check up on him at lunchtime. Neal looked like he was coming down with a cold. June's keeping an eye on him. Maybe you could uhm... go by and visit?" Peter walked with her to the door, pulling on his jacket and grabbing his coat from the rack. She nodded as she straightened his collar and tie.

"Sending me out to spy. Peter... I'll see what I can do. I'm sure he's just needing someone to talk to." She arched an eyebrow at him as he kissed her once more and left.

()()()

Neal was curled up in a semi-fetal position beneath this blankets, shivering. His face looked slightly pale, cheeks flushed a slight pink. His cough was a bit more defined now, a wet sound to it as he sniffled slightly. He was sleeping but just barely, a chill making him curl up tighter under his blankets till his face was hidden beneath the duvet. He thought he heard the door to his room open and light footsteps on the floor, a shadow falling over him.

"Neal? Neal, it's June. How are you feeling?" Her voice was soft and motherly making the young man poke his head out slowly from under the covers, blue eyes looking blearily up at her. She smiled down at him, putting a gentle and warm hand on his forehead. She clucked her tongue, opening up a drawer in the nightstand and pulling out a small digital thermometer. She slipped a plastic cover over it, sitting on the edge of the bed as she helped Neal sit up.

"Say ah..." Neal opened his mouth but it was obvious it hurt to do so, the thermometer slipping under his tongue as he closed his mouth. June waited till she heard a beep, gently pull the thermometer out. It read 101. Neal had a fever. She brushed his hair gently, throwing the plastic slip in the trash and replacing the thermometer to the drawer.

"Let me get you some aspirin, Neal and some hot tea with honey and lemon. Think you can drink that?" She kept brushing his hair, his head nodding slightly as he looked up at her. He swallowed hard, throat feeling a bit like sandpaper.

"Thanks... June." His voice sounded hoarse, but he smiled and reached up to hug her. She grinned hugging him back.

"Rest and I'll be back with the aspirin and then tea." She patted him gently on the forehead before leaving the room. Neal curled up on his side again, eyes shut. He heard June return a few minutes later, nudging the young man awake as she helped him take some aspirin with water. He smiled gratefully up at her.

"Now, rest and I'm going to bring you up some tea and soup." She paused and turned at the sound of a bell. Neal peered at her curiously.

"I wonder who that could be..." June kissed him on the cheek and left him alone. He listened to her soft footsteps as they disappeared down the hall and staircase. Neal sighed, feeling lonely. He pulled the covers up over him and scrunched down underneath, closing his eyes. He began to dream.

(What if...)

Neal heard the alarm go off, reaching out from under the covers to turn it off. The radio kicked on a few minutes later as a back up alarm.

"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again...
It's been a long... long... time.
Haven't felt like this my dear, since can't remember when,
It's been a long... long... time.

You'll never know how many dreams I dream about you,
Or just how empty they all seem without you,
So kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again...
It's been a long... long... time
."

Neal perked up, looking out from under the covers and smiling. That was the song June told him Byron and her had danced to at their wedding. He gave a little stretch and yawn as he pushed the covers aside and stood up. The floor boards felt cold today, Neal shivering slightly as he trotted across the floor to the bathroom and turned on the hot water to get the shower warmed up a bit. He pulled out a nice navy blue suit, June so graciously lent him, with a light aqua shirt beneath and some black Italian loafers. He spread them out neatly on the bed and then ran back into the bathroom to get ready for work.

Neal felt warmer now though a slight chill continued to bother him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end but he took it as a sign he needed to turn up the radiator. The windows were slightly frosted meaning a bit of Winter was still outside. He dressed quickly and made his way downstairs after a cursory look in the mirror and a roguish flip of his favorite fedora.

First thing Neal noticed as he made his way downstairs was that the house was quiet. Too quiet. Usually the housekeeper was already here but she was absent. The other strange thing was the absence of June. It was still rather early but she was normally upstairs around this time waiting for Neal to pop out and say hi. He reached the bottom banister and turned to find his landlady resting comfortably on a small sofa at the foot of the stairs. Neal smiled, walking over quietly and crouching down beside her.

"June... it's Neal. Wake up." He smiled, brushing a bit of curly hair from her face but she didn't move. She looked peaceful, face calm and worry free. He felt the hair on the back of his neck raise again but he wasn't sure why. He nudged her gently, whispering.

"June, I'm going to work soon. I just wanted to say..." He paused, his hand brushing her cheek and feeling how cool it was beneath his fingertips. He touched her neck gently and there was no pulse. He placed his head on her chest and heard no beat. Neal stood up and took a step back, his face paling. He knelt beside her and hugged her.

"June? Oh no..." His voice choked as he lay his head on her shoulder and cried. He hadn't knelt there for very long when he heard a knock on the door. Neal looked up, eyes red and puffy, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve. Neal pulled out his phone and was startled when it rang suddenly. He picked it up and saw Peter was paging him.

"I'm at the door. Where are you?"

Neal paused, hanging up and dialing 911 as he made his way to the door, wiping at his eyes but still crying. He could just make out Peter's figure outside the door, looking at his cell when he turned at the sound of Neal opening the door. The agent noticed the young man's expression, his face sobering from his usual grin.

"Neal, what's wrong?" He stepped inside and the young man just held up a hand, speaking into his cell.

"Yes, I found her on the sofa about 10 minutes ago. Yes... Thank you." He hung up the cell and suddenly collapsed against his friend, Peter catching the young man, sitting him against the wall. He saw Neal's blue eyes looking up at him with more sadness than he could ever imagine. The young man looked despondent.

"Neal, what's wrong? Tell me!" Peter knelt beside his friend and shook him gently till Neal pointed over at the stairs and foyer. Peter stood, patting the young man on the shoulder before walking towards the large room. He was looking around for the source of his friend's anguish when he saw her. June was laying on the sofa, face peaceful looking, eyes closed. Peter walked over quietly and gently nudged her. She didn't move so he grasped her hand and felt the coolness of her skin and gasped.

"Oh June... I'm so sorry..." Peter found one of her shawls hanging nearby on a small coat rack and gently placed it over her, crossing himself. He wiped at his eyes, turning towards Neal who had finally stood up again and was walking shakily back towards him. He stopped a few feet away, seeing the shawl over her face. He wiped at his eyes and smiled ever so slightly.

"That was always her favorite." He collapsed to his knees again, leaning on the banister and crying. Peter turned and crouched beside his friend, hugging him. He stood up when he heard the ambulance sirens.

"Neal, stay here. I'll be right back, ok?" He patted the young man on the head gently, feeling Neal slip down to the floor and sit, head leaning on the banister.

()()()

Neal slept the rest of the day in the Burke's guest room after finding June. Peter had taken him home with him after helping the young man pack a bag and toiletries. Neal had been in a daze, traveling with June's body to the hospital morgue. Neal had insisted she shouldn't be alone, Peter helping to contact her next of kin when Neal had been aware enough to provide the info. Her son and daughter had thanked Peter for calling them and told him to let Neal know they appreciated everything he had done for their mother. Peter turned after hanging up his cell and saw El watching him, her eyes moving now and again to the stairs. She wanted to go up and talk to Neal but far as they knew he was still sleeping. She sighed, sipping at her cup of tea but sniffling ever so slightly.

"Poor Neal. It can't have been easy for him to find her like that. You said she looked like she was sleeping?" El's face paled, her lips pursed into a partial frown. She wiped at her eyes as Peter nodded, his own expression sobering.

"Yes. He looked devastated. Neal looked like he had lost his mother. She took such good care of him." His voice choked as he spoke of her not wanting to use the past tense. El moved over and hugged him.

"It's ok honey. I guess it was just her time... although I hope I'm as spry as her when I'm that age. She had such fire and life in her. I can't believe... she's really gone." El's voice cracked slightly, her face buried in Peter's shoulder as she started to cry.

()()()

June's family showed up the very next day after the news of her death. Her son Jeremy was the very image of Byron from the few pictures they had seen of her husband around June's home. He was a tall young man, maybe 6'3 with curly brown hair, bright green eyes and an infectious smile like his mother's. He shook hands and hugged Peter, El and especially Neal. They had met briefly once when Neal had escorted his mother to a function. His sister, Kaeyla was the spitting image of their mother. She was 5'7, blue-eyed and svelte, with long dark brown hair that fell just past her shoulders. Both children were happy to meet Peter and El and Kaeyla thanked Neal for all he did for their mother and family. Her daughter had been the one bumped from the transplant list.

That evening they had a small memorial service for June. It was a non-traditional event like none the Burkes or Neal had been to. June's wishes had been that nobody be sad when she passed so her favorite music was played (mostly Rat Pack style and soft jazz) and there was a small buffet with drinks. It felt more like a dinner party than a memorial with the idea that June would show up in all her graciousness. It was only a few close friends and family that showed with her children talking to Neal and the Burkes about her life. Peter noticed Neal felt almost at ease despite having slept most of the day before. Maybe he would be ok, but Peter would be there for him no matter what. Even Mozzie showed up and both Kaeyla and Jeremy hugged the little man knowing him from their mother's stories. Peter thought Mozzie seemed to be the calming factor, sticking to Neal for support.

()()()

The funeral was two days later. Neal had been staying with the Burke's in their guest room but visiting June's to help Jeremy and Kaeyla with preparations. The young man showed a lot of responsibility and resolve in making sure everything was perfect. It was strange then that the day of the actual event, Neal was no where to be seen. Even Mozzie had no idea where the con was hiding which worried both El and Peter. They were both invited to sit with the family, Jeremy and Kaeyla asking about Neal. Peter could only shrug helplessly in reply.

The ceremony went as scheduled, several good friends, acquaintances and family giving short anecdotal speeches about how they knew June and the vibrant life she led. Peter kept looking around for Neal when the young man finally showed up in the back of the church, sitting down. He made to go get him but El stopped him.

The minister asked if anyone else had any final words and footsteps walked quickly forward. Neal.

"Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate June's life. She... she helped give a lost young man, myself, a new start. June never asked for much and was always willing to help others. She was one of my best friends and greatest benefactors." He paused, his eyes shiny with tears.

"She wouldn't want us to say 'Good-bye' at this time but 'adieu.' Till next we meet." He pulled something from his pocket and placed it beside the picture of her and Byron before he walked back towards the back of the church. The minister and everyone clapped, Peter rising to follow his partner. He caught up to Neal as the young man sat on a bench outside the church.

"Neal?" He saw the young man turn, standing and looking at Peter with a blush, hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Peter. Is El here?" He sounded or tried to sound casual but was shifting weight from foot to foot nervously. His blue eyes looked anywhere but at Peter.

"Yes. Everyone was wondering where you were. Your speech... June would have liked it. You did good." Peter smiled, reaching to squeeze the young man's shoulder gently. Neal looked at his friend then away. His body language was stiff as if he were angry or defensive. Neal was upset, hiding his emotions.

"Sorry. I had to get away for a few. Think about things." His voice was soft, cracking slightly with emotion. Peter nodded.

"I understand. I felt the same way at my grandfather's funeral. He had practically raised me. I miss her too, Neal." Peter pulled the young man into a hug and pulled him gently towards the church.

"Say your words to her... I know you put them in that origami flower, but you need to speak with her." He watched Neal nod reluctantly as he hugged his friend back and they walked in together.

When they reentered the church, there was a line of people walking past the open casket. Neal pulled back against Peter's arm, looking like he might run. His face had paled and he looked scared. Neal turned, his back to the scene when someone hugged him.

"Neal, it's ok. Take your time. We're here for you." El's voice made him turn around, leaning against her as she hugged him gently. He shuddered slightly as if he were crying. He finally looked up and wiped his eyes.

"I'll go with you. So will Peter. Ok?" She took his arm in hers, Peter on his other side for support. Neal gulped but smiled finally.

Jeremy and Kaeyla were at the front of the line shaking hands and hugging those who gave their condolences. It was almost Neal's turn. Peter went first, hugging both of June's kids before passing the casket and saying something quiet to Neal's benefactor.

"Thank you for all you did, June. We'll miss you." Peter's eyes looked shinier as he moved aside. El hugged him as he passed, then still arm and arm with Neal, they gave their condolences to Jeremy and Kaeyla before they walked to the casket. El went first, reaching to touch June's hand and smiling, eyes shiny with tears.

"You'll be missed June. Thank you again for taking such good care of Neal. I'm going to miss our talks." She sniffed slightly, Peter coming to her side and standing with his arm around her. Neal was behind them, his face looking somewhat afraid to approach the casket. El held out a hand to him and he hesitantly took it, letting her draw him forward.

"Neal..." Her voice trailed off and he finally looked down into the casket, his lip trembling slightly. El patted him on the shoulder as she and Peter moved aside so he could say his final words. He looked down at June, blue eyes glistening and held her hand. It felt cold but he only remembered her warmth.

"I'm... Thank you June. It must have been fate the day I met you at the thrift store. You were like an... an angel. I could never think how to repay your kindness and I... I'm going to miss you. Adieu... Please tell Kate hi for me. Tell her... I'll see her again one day." He leaned over the casket and gently kissed her forehead before he stood up again and backed slowly away. Someone put an arm around him. It was El and she hugged him, leading him away from the casket. They said their final condolences to Jeremy and Kaeyla, promising to get together before they left. Neal barely spoke but he seemed to look far more relieved now that he had said his farewells.

"It's ok, Neal." She handed him some tissues from her purse.

()()()

Neal felt his face wet with tears, opening them up and looking around the room. He was awake again. He wiped at his eyes, a strange panicked feeling coming over him as he thought about the dream. Neal sat up despite his fever and pulled the covers aside, standing up. He grabbed his robe and stumbled over to the door and exited. Everything seemed to sway slightly, the fever making him feel somewhat dizzy but he kept walking, taking the stairs slowly. He could hear voices nearby and made his way towards them.

"I guess Peter told you about Neal? He's not feeling very well, I'm afraid but you're welcome to come up when I take him his food. He'll be delighted to see you." June's voice tinkled softly from the dining room followed by another familiar voice.

"Thank you. I was worried about him after what Peter told me. I know he hasn't been sleeping too well. Thanks again for the tea. What kind is this again?" Elizabeth Burke's voice was lively, Neal thinking back to her in his dream. Both women turned and looked up as he stumbled towards them from the foyer.

"Neal? You shouldn't be out of bed!" June stood up, her expression worried as she moved to help him sit down. El had stood and taken his arm as he approached them. His face was still pale, cheeks flushed slightly pink from the fever. He hugged June tight, her face looking across his shoulders at El who seemed confused.

"I'm so glad... you're here." He sounded so forlorn, June pushing him into a chair and feeling his forehead as she smiled softly at him.

"Honey, I've only been gone a few minutes. Elizabeth was at the door. The soup's almost ready if you're hungry?" She brushed at his hair, pouring another cup of tea and handing it to him. He sipped at it and smiled boyishly. El sat beside him and squeezed his arm.

"Poor thing. Peter said you weren't feeling too well. Once the soup is ready, well bring it up to you but you need to go back upstairs to bed, ok?" El ruffled his hair like Peter usually did and he nodded back with a sleepy smile.

"Good, let me help you back up while June gets the soup for you." El helped Neal stand up and he leaned on her partially for support. They managed to make it back upstairs and he slipped back into bed, El fluffing up his pillows.

"Thank you, El." His voice was still raspy. She smiled and stood up a moment, walking over to the sink and filling up a glass of water for him.

"Drink this. You need to keep yourself hydrated. I hope I won't have to threaten you into resting like I do with Peter. He's a terrible patient." She chuckled, Neal smiling back.

"I can only imagine." He leaned back slightly against the pillows, the memory of the dream bringing a slight frown to his face. El noticed and brushed his hair with her fingers.

"What's wrong, Neal? You look worried." She kept brushing his hair gently, the action relaxing him into a semblance of calm. He couldn't stop thinking about his nightmares though, the guilt he felt in each one evident. Finally he opened his mouth to speak but June walked in and he stopped.

"Somebody order some chicken soup?" June smiled broadly, bringing the food on a bed tray as El moved aside.

"Now eat it all so you'll get healthy, ok?" She kissed his forehead gently, her smile filling him with warmth. He nodded obediently at her and started eating, both women sitting near him and chit chatting. This felt comfortable to him, the dreams fading into the background for now as he tried to concentrate on all the good he gained from both June and El. They were his support. They were a combination of mother, sister and guardian angel in many ways. They accepted him unconditionally.

June perked up as she heard the bell again.

"It's like Grand Central Station today. I should have called the housekeeper in but she had tickets to a play. I'll be right back." Her voice was jokingly coy, smiling at both Neal and El as she excused herself. El noticed Neal was nearly done with his food.

"Want me to take the tray?" She took it when he nodded and placed it over in the kitchen area. When she returned, he was leaning back, eyes partially closed in a thoughtful pose. She gently grasped his chin in hand and turned his face towards her.

"Penny for your thoughts?" El seemed to know what he was thinking and he wanted to tell her about the nightmares. She might understand more than anyone, worrying about Peter day in and day out. He was her life and she'd be lost without him.

"I don't know if you want to pay the admission. I'm not sure I like what I'm thinking about." His voice was soft, almost morose but she lifted his eyes to hers and smiled.

"You're worried about something, Neal. Talk to someone. It may help if you let someone listen." She wasn't going to push even though he knew she was curious. That's what he liked about her most, El always gave you your space. He finally nodded.

"Nightmares. I... " He was going to say more when there was a knock at the door and Peter peered inside.

"Hey Neal... El? Wow, it's like a party here. Neal... you never told me you were going to take off work to have a soirée with June and El." His voice was full of humor, June coming in behind him.

"He is officially bedridden, Agent Burke. You cannot drag him off to work today or tomorrow. He has a fever." June's voice was sarcastically officious, El covering her mouth as she stifled a giggle. Peter just played as if he were disappointed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine, then I guess it's the right time for this..." He pulled a green envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Neal.

"Everyone at work signed it. Figured it might make you feel better." Peter blushed slightly, El motioning him beside herself on the edge of the bed. Neal opened up the envelope and found a card inside with an image of a fat little frog on it's belly with a thermometer in its mouth and an ice pack on its head. He opened up the card and it simply read:

Heard you were feeling a little green.
We hope this card will put a leap in your step.

Get Well Soon!

Neal read all the signatures, even Hughes, across the inside of the card and smiled.

"Thanks, Peter." He smiled at them all. Peter just mussed his hair and grinned.

"Well, we wanted our favorite consultant to know he was missed." He saw Neal blink at him and then roll his eyes.

"I'm sure you'll have a backlog of files waiting for me when I return." Neal's voice held some snark of its own.

"They miss you, Neal. The case files cry out your name when you're away." Peter felt a light tap on the back of his head from El.

"Don't antagonize him when he's sick. Neal, we can talk later. You rest, ok?" He realized she meant that and he nodded glad she hadn't said more. El hugged Neal and kissed him on the forehead, Peter patting him on the shoulder before they left. June checked his temperature once again but it remained at 101 for now. She clucked her tongue.

"I'll come back up in a little while to give you some more aspirin, ok? I'll leave you some water in the meanwhile in case you want a drink." She moved over to the sink and filled a pitcher, leaving it on the nightstand with a small glass. She hugged him softly before leaving him alone once again.

Neal sighed. It had felt nice having everyone there at once. He was starting to think about the dreams again but he didn't want to. El only knew he was having nightmares but he wasn't sure he would tell her the ones about them, maybe only the one about June. He was having second thoughts about discussing the dreams but he needed to talk to someone. He had barely told Mozzie what was going on but his friend had put up with him even when he fell asleep during the call. Mozzie was a good friend. Maybe he should tell him first then El? He tried to think what to do as he fell back into a less stressful sleep.