Oh my God, wow!
I was actually nervous about this one, thinking that it wasn't funny enough or something along those lines... but what an amazing turnout of responses! Thank you, everybody!!
Since I already have a lot written, and the RENT libretto is only so long, (XD) I decided to grant you all an update. And You Okay, Honey? is such a short song that extended the chapter to include more. It will be You Okay, Honey?, Tune Up # 3, One Song Glory, and Light My Candle. XD
ALSO: I have received some responses about the Roger fan requests. Here's who I have: Stephanie Pascal, GrapeTheApe, Angel Dumott Schunard Collins, Ginger Glinda, NaKeva Rapp Cullen, and SiriusLovesRent. I need... TWO MORE!!!
With that in mind, here's the next installment. Enjoy...
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Now we see Angel and Collins, two other fanfic characters, lounging in the "middle of nowhere somewhere land."
ANGEL:
(reassurring and loving) IT'LL BE OKAY, HONEY...
COLLINS:
(depressed) I DON'T THINK SO...
ANGEL:
(shakes head) THEY THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
COLLINS:
(takes breath) NO. THEY'RE FUCKING SERIOUS.
I'M THINK ROGER WAS RIGHT...
(exclaims sadly) THAT FIC WAS CRUEL TO ME!
(Angel kisses him)
THANKS.
ANGEL:
HONEY, YOU'VE STILL GOT ME
IN FIC HELL
COLLINS:
FIC HELL...? INDEED.
FIC HELL WHERE THE BAD FICS BREED.
(dreamily, yet deliriously) AUTHORS NEED TO WRITE MORE
ANGELCOLLINS, AND... ROGERMIMI...
ANGEL:
(interrupting) LET'S GET SOME BEN AND JERRY'S
THAT ALWAYS HELPS ME, WHEN FICS
TORTURE ME TO NO END AND I NEED
AN ESCAPE... FROM THE ENDLESS SPEWING
OF MARKANGEL FICTION IN THE DATABASE!
COLLINS:
(thinking) THAT SOUNDS... FINE.
ANGEL:
HONEY, YOU'RE STILL MINE
FORGET THE FICS, YOU LIKE DICKS
THOSE AUTHORS, THEY SUCK! (hugs him)
COLLINS:
(woefully) BUT MY FICS ARE WAITING...
ANGEL:
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
THE MORE THE MERRIER?
OH NO...NO! CAN'T WE JUST... GO?!!!
(Collins and Angel exit the "somewhere land" briefly to find frozen desserts.)
But back with Roger and Marky of the Shire...
ROGER:
(in disdain) WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
MARK:
(bluntly) PRERENT MARKMO.
ROGER:
PFFTT. HAVE FUN.
MARK:
(venturing) I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE TO TEND TO YOUR UPDATES? (Roger shrugs sadly) THEY'RE PILING UP...
ROGER:
(repeats) I'M NOT DOING ONE MORE FANFIC.
MARK:
SUIT YOURSELF. (is surprised when he realizes Roger is serious) PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FLIP! (turns to audience) CLOSE ON ROGER, HIS NAME JUST DISAPPEARED FROM THE DROP-DOWN CHARACTER LIST, FANGIRLS WANT TO SLIT THEIR WRISTS IN THEIR BATHROOMS! (speaking softly) I'LL COME BACK LATER, WHEN THE FIC IS OVER. THEY'LL DRAG YOU BACK IN... JUST ONE FIC, ROGER? (exits)
He leaves Roger, alone in the somewhere land.
ROGER:
(ranting sadly) ONE FIC - SHITTY.
ONE FIC - FLUFF, SLASH OR SMUT.
SHITTY - FICS THAT FUCK WITH MY MIND
FIND - ONE FIC - ONE REALISTIC FIC - NOT SHITTY
FROM AN AUTHOR THAT UNDERSTANDS
WE'RE NOT TOYS AND I DON'T LIKE BOYS
ONE FIC - I HAD TO FUCK MAUREEN
SHITTY - IN ONE, I WAS A GAY BOY
A GAY BOY - REALLY SHITTY
BEYOND THE POINT OF BEING SICK
ONE FIC - NON-CANON MINDSET
SHITTY - MADE TO RUIN ALL OUR LIVES!
FINGERS FLY... RENT DIES!
SHITTY! ONE FIC SO SHITTY!
ONE FIC SO... SHITTY! SHITTY!
FIND - ONE FIC, ONE FIC THAT RINGS TRUE
TRUTH TO WHAT JONATHAN MADE US...
ALONE ON THE SITE, FIND- ONE FIC
A FIC ABOUT TRUE LOVE - COLLINSANGEL,
OR ONE IN WHICH I DON'T FUCK A MAN
FUCK A MAN...FIND - ONE FIC - BEFORE
MARKROGER TAKES HOLD, ONE FIC- ONE FIC GLORY.
ONE FIC - TO REDEEM THIS ROTTING FANDOM
FINGERS FLY... THERE'S NO NEED TO ENDURE ANYMORE
FUCKING GUYS!
(There is a knock on the door to the "somewhere land" room, Roger gets up and answers, finding his girlfriend Mimi, looking disgruntled.)
ROGER:
(angsting) WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?
MIMI:
(moodily) ANOTHER FIC.
ROGER:
WHAT KIND OF FIC? YOU... LOOK RATHER GREEN. (steadies her)
MIMI:
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER MARKMAUREEN, BUT THEN THE AUTHOR THREW ME IN BETWEEN. (Roger scowls) WOULD YOU GET ME CHOCOLATE? (notices him scowling) WHAT ARE YOU ANGSTING ABOUT?
ROGER:
NOTHING - I'M DONE WITH FANFICTION. I BET THEY MISS ME. (Mimi nods solemnly as Roger finds a chocolate bar for her and hands it over) CAN YOU EAT THIS?
MIMI:
THEY HAVEN'T WRITTEN MUCH TODAY, BUT THAT LAST FIC MADE ME NAUSEOUS ANYWAY. (Roger is scowling) WHAT?
ROGER:
NOTHING, YOUR CHOCOLATE IS TAUNTING ME...
MIMI:
(hands him a piece) YOU'RE DONE WITH FANFICTION NOW? SO SUDDENLY?
ROGER:
I SNAPPED. ASK MARK ABOUT IT.
MIMI:
(throws candy bar wrapper) WE'RE OUT AGAIN. WILL THIS MADNESS NEVER END? (sighs, the stress getting to her) WOULD YOU MASSAGE MY FEET? (She throws off her shoes)
ROGER:
(rubs her foot) WELL...
MIMI:
(sighs) YEAH? (suddenly a chime sounds through the place) OH!
ROGER:
OH, AN UPDATE. (checks it out) IT'S...
MIMI:
(comes up behind him to look) MIMIMAUREEN! I HATE IT WHEN THEY...
ROGER:
(finishes for her) DO THAT? (She nods) I FIGURED. OH WELL, HAVE FUN!
MIMI:
(stomps angrily off)
A few minutes later, there is a knock again. Roger answers the door.
ROGER:
YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?
MIMI:
YEAH... MAUREEN WENT BACK TO MARK.
ROGER:
(changes subject) I KNOW I SAW SOME OTHER CHOCOLATE SOMEWHERE, WHEN I WAS FIXING MY HAIR... (points) OVER THERE.
MIMI:
(laughs at him dryly, then searches area desperately) THIS IS STRESSFUL, I SWEAR IF THERE'S ONE MORE FIC TODAY...(stops mid-thought) I SAY, MY HAIR IS TURNING GRAY!
ROGER:
(shocked) GRAY??!!!!
MIMI:
(still looking) THE FANFIC AUTHORS LIKE TO KILL ME OFF AND HAVE YOU fk MARK, (angry and hurt) IT WON'T DO!
ROGER:
(dryly) HA.
MIMI:
(haughtily) DON'T LAUGH AT ME!
ROGER:
OH NO, I MEAN, THAT SUCKS... I'M SORRY. (Mimi frowns, and Roger hurriedly adds) I MEAN... YOU WANT THAT MASSAGE?
MIMI:
(sighs) I DOUBT I'LL HAVE THE TIME.
ROGER:
... ONLY IF THEY CALL YOU AWAY FOR ANOTHER FIC...
MIMI:
HAVE YOU SEEN THE PILE OF EMAIL ALERTS BEGGING FOR YOU? THE ROGER FANGIRLS ARE GETTING QUITE BLUE. HELP ME LOOK!
ROGER:
(starts to look) YES! BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
MIMI:
YOU'RE NOT FORGIVING.
ROGER:
YOU EXPECT ME TO BE? MOST OF THEIR FANFICS SUCK!
MIMI:
(gives up and flops onto couch) YOU COULD MASSAGE ME FEET THEN... (dreamily) OH, I WISH I HAD SOME CHOCOLATE!
ROGER:
(suggesting mildly) WHY DON'T YOU FORGET FANFICTION? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE EXHAUSTED.
MIMI:
I'LL BE FINE. AND THERE'S NO WAY OUT, EVEN IF I WERE TO TRY!
ROGER:
I GOT OUT, AND ALL I DID WAS TRY. I USED TO BE STRESSED LIKE THAT...
MIMI:
(insists) I WILL BE FINE, I TOLD YOU!
ROGER:
I WANTED TO DIE.
MIMI:
(sighs again) IT IS GETTING OLD...
ROGER:
UH-HUH, I USED TO DREAM OF ESCAPE!
MIMI:
WELL NOW AND THEN I LIKE TO...
ROGER:
UH HUH!
MIMI:
(finishing with a small sigh)... TAKE A BREAK.
ROGER:
(hears email alert chime) OH, HERE!
MIMI:
(sadly) WHAT IS IT?
ROGER:
(checks it out, then, with relief, announces) OH, MOJO ROMANCE...
MIMI:
I COULD TAKE A BREAK! (excitedly) I'M GOING TO TAKE A BREAK!
ROGER:
(sits beside her) I GUESS THAT ONE WAS THE LAST.
MIMI:
I GUESS I'LL JUST THANK GOD I'M NOT FUCKING MAUREEN...
ROGER:
MAYBE THAT WAS YOUR LAST OF THE DAY. I HEAR NO EMAIL ALERTS NOW. (just after he says this, an email alert chimes)
MIMI:
OH FUCK... OH FUCK.
ROGER:
(checks) YOUR UPDATE.
MIMI:
(says pointedly) YOURS TOO. LOOKS LIKE... A MARKROGER... ROMANCE.
ROGER:
(confused) WITH YOU?
MIMI:
YES, THEY KILL ME OFF.
ROGER:
(refuses, flopping back onto couch) COUGHSTUPIDCOUGH.
MIMI:
(sighs) WHY CAN'T THEY, WHY WON'T THEY, LEAVE ME BE?!!! (gives in, and leaves)
(Roger scoffs, for he knows the fic cannot happen without him.)
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Unfortunately, that probably wasn't that funny. My personal favorite installment are the first one I put up, and some that have yet to come, like my version of Tango: Maureen.
So bear with me.
Reviews?
And remember, I need two more Roger fan volunteers!!!!
