After finishing the lovely meal Lily sat back in place and looked across at Harry, examining him and thinking up further questions to ask.
"So… how are you a time traveller?"
"Well it isn't 2012 is it? I noticed after reading some of the number plates and the brand and condition of the cars, they really change in the future more stylish and sleek, that this is at the least the 80's if not the 70's, right? In fact this can all be cleared up with the use of a tempus spell." He held his hand before him and used the spell.
"13:24 16th July 1975. Well there you have it." What Harry was neglecting to mention was the fact that he was dead certain he was talking to his mother and had knocked out his aunt and uncle and it was obvious they were a lot younger.
"Ok then, how did you travel through time and why?"
"Well I didn't willingly come back in time and nor was it my intention, I just happened to be in very close proximity to an unknown magical device as it was activated by my Arch-Nemesis Rupert." He finished in an exaggerated manner but seemed to think he had conveyed the seriousness of the matter.
"Alright then who is Rupert and why would he send you back in time?"
"Well as I said he is my Arch-Nemesis and Rupert is a platypus. We've known one another for six years now, I hunt him on occasion and he slaughters innocents by the dozens and I would like to think we have developed a sort of 'Frenemy' relationship. You know I attended his daughter's wedding as well as his brother's funeral." Was Harry's cheerful and earnest answer.
"Why do I get the feeling that those events aren't as good natured as you are letting on? And what do you mean a platypus, is that his Animagus form or something?" She asked almost incredulously.
"Haa, I forget sometimes that the world at large is ignorant to the truths of the world. Platypuses are the oldest living race in the world, they are also the most powerful, they simply take the form of a platypus as a prank on the world as a whole, not just humans. I mean have you ever actually looked at a platypus? They're a mammal with the small body and tail of a beaver, that's all cool and kosher, but they have webbed feet like a swan, they lay eggs like a bird, they have a duck bill and even have a non lethal agonising venom that cannot be neutralised, that they inject through spurs on their rear heel's. That isn't natural in anyway you look at it; mundanely or magically. After all you've never heard of a Platypuses Animagus or Patronus have you? That's because they don't exist!" He said with vigor. "And to top it all off they are not subject to the 'Duck Principle'." He said with complete seriousness whilst dropping his fist onto the table emphasize the point.
"What's the duck principle?" She asked curiously but resigned.
"If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck, it must be a duck. This cannot be applied to platypus." Was his sagely answer.
"I'll take your word for it. All right next question should be rather straightforward, how come you're such a good cook?"
"That would be thanks to my owners, they made sure that I would be fully capable of taking care of their every need. Cleaning the house, tending the garden, doing the washing and feeding them delicious meals all for the low low price of tolerating my existence, giving me a cupboard to sleep in, scraps to eat, hand me downs to wear, the exercise from beating me and the entertainment of spreading rumours; truly selfless people my aunt and uncle were." He said good naturedly.
"Well... that's depressing." Was all she could say.
"I'll say, I'm amazed I never snapped and killed someone after I got away from them."
"That just goes to show that you're a better person than them."
"Not a difficult task."
"So seeing as you are from the future, do you have any future knowledge and do you intend on using it? Changing the timeline?" She asked more seriously.
"Oh yeah I've got future knowledge, though not much, I didn't pay much attention to particulars. All I really know of this time is that Voldemort is out and about painting the country red; along with some names to hunt and companies to invest in, but no dates or locations if that's what you're looking for. And as for 'changing THE timeline' that's rather arrogant, thinking this is the only one in existence is the height of arrogance." He finished with his nose turned up.
"This is just one of many timelines, infinite in fact, my mere presence has gone and changed this one from my own, not to mention what other differences there could be such as people being born later, earlier or not at all or with meat and two veg instead of seafood. I mean sure I know that I've travelled back in time, but was that in a straight line, a wiggly line or a diagonal line? Up? Down?" He lectured to Lily who looked slightly abashed.
"Alright then, but what do I call you, Harry…?"
"I've been called many things, but my favourite is "The cat that won't cop out, when danger is about." and thankfully no one here will know who I am so I won't ever hear the first stupid hyphenated name the public gave me, that is something I'm already thankful for; and you may call me Harry Shaft."
"Well Harry Shaft it's nice to meet you, my name is Lily Evans and the two people you met earlier were my elder sister Petunia Dursley and her husband Vernon Dursley. For that matter how long are they going to stay up there?" She re-introduced herself joyfully enjoying this young man's presence.
"They should stay up there for another hour or so, but Vernon is a bit of a fat bastard so he may fall sooner rather than later." They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they looked at the pair stuck to the ceiling like a fine piece of art. "So do you mind if I bunk here for a bit, till I decide what to do?" He asked idly.
Lily thought on it for a moment her chin tilted up in an cute manner, resembling 'The Thinker'. "Sure why not, having you around might be interesting, but only if you cook for me." She said teasingly.
"You've got yourself a deal little lady. So do you wanna go watch a film or something? Cause I've nothing to do."
"Hm alright, but how are you going to pay?"
"I always have my money on me, after an incident involving midget tossing inside Gringotts that was apparently the last straw for them, as it turns out they still hadn't forgiven me for breaking into one of their vaults and stealing a dragon from them. I'm no longer welcome at Gringotts so I was given a week to clear out all my vaults and have since then carried my fortune around with me; occasionally robbing a local criminal enterprise for the local currency. But now that I've time traveled that shouldn't be a problem anymore, so I reckon I should go and open a vault soon. So let's go time's a wastin, I'll even treat you to dinner." Harry stood up and began striding towards the door, holding out his hand to catch Vernon's wallet as it flew to him.
"Now what are you waiting for let's go!" He said and literally leapt through the door leaving Lily to wonder if she was hallucinating this whole event before shrugging. 'Ah what the hell what's the worst that could happen?'
(◎ᘯ◎)
After leaving 4 Privet Drive the pair made their way into London by bus, with Harry enjoying the companionable silence and the ride much more than he ever did the Knight Bus. Once in Central London they made their way to a cinema and were lucky enough to find a film that was five minutes away from starting that neither of them had seen or heard of 'Jaws'.
Two hours later the pair were seen coming out of the cinema looking somewhat worse for ware.
"You know, I never got the chance to see the sea or visit the beach in my youth and if I had ever seen that film before I did, I would have never gone to see it ever in my life." Was Harry's first thought on the film.
"That would have sucked I quite enjoy the beach, the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore, the warmth of the sun as it bears down on you, the warm sand beneath your feet-"
"The sexy girls in titillating bikinis, I Know what you mean." Harry cut in before getting smacked.
"Shut it you, anyway you offered to buy me food and stuff so what are we waiting around here dawdling for?"
"Hey I never offered to buy you 'stuff' I said I'd buy you dinner."
"Semantics, besides it's too early for dinner so we have to do something to pass the time and what better thing is there to do than shop; besides it's not like you're actually paying." Lily finished off her argument tilting her head back slightly, looking down her nose at him and crossing her arms.
"It's the thought that counts, not whose money it is." Harry replied trying to sound wizened. The two then broke out in laughter as they headed further into London to do some shopping to pass the time.
