Alright, here is the second chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. And you can thank KarouUchiha for the making of this Disclaimer: I own nothing at all.
Episode Two: The Discovery of Hell's Mysteries
"To change the feed, or to change the fertilizer, that it the question." Hazuki said to herself as she watched her goldfish plants flop around on their stems.
She held up a bucket with small holes in it by a rod and watered the strange plant or animal.
"There certainly are many new varieties of goldfish plant now." a male demon remarked.
"Yes." Hazuki responded.
"Have you had lunch?"
"No, I'm just too busy."
"What? But you still should at least eat so you don't get sick."
"My lunch break is the only time I can look after them." the female oni said.
"They do look very healthy. Isn't the goldfish plant fancier convention coming up soon? My cousin is so crazy about those that his wife is going mad."
"I'm the same way. I have no time to plan a vacation, so I ended up drowning myself in my hobby."
Later, in the staff's cafeteria
Hazuki was sitting at a table and watching some mundane television.
"I'm having Coelacanth bowl tonight." Enma said as he sat at the female oni's table.
"On tonight's mystery theater, we will be going to the fascinating land of Australia." the host of the show announced. "Tonight we zoom in on this wonderful animal paradise.'
"Is this a mundane TV show?" the great king asked.
"Yes. You can watch it on satellite." Hazuki told him. "I like how the presenter makes himself larger than life."
"Say, he reminds me of the strange figure you have in your office. Is that a Crystal Hitoshi?!"
"I won it along with a Mongolian native costume. I wonder what I should do with it."
"That's amazing, yet plain."
"From there you can see Mother Earth's Bellybutton, Ayers Rock. The Aborigines call this rock 'Uluru'."
"It would be nice to go overseas." Enma remarked. "I haven't been on a trip overseas in the last thousand years expect for business. I want to plant a flag at the peak of Ayers Rock, and shout out 'Chicken Rice!'."
Hazuki slammed her club onto the ground.
"Do no such thing!" she yelled at her boss. "Ayers Rock is Mother Earth's Belly Button! You could very well give her a stomachache!"
"You know, you remind me of your mother." he said.
"Treat Earth as you would your stomach." the female oni told him, grinding her club against the side of his face. "Be kind to our planet!"
"Be kind to me!"
"No!"
"Why?!"
"Wow, what an awesome view! This is Kangaroo Island. This is a paradise for wildlife, with kolas and wallabys, and platypi."
"I really would like to visit Australia." Hazuki said, putting her weapon down.
"It is pretty." Enma said. "And it's full of unique nature.
"Yes, and not only that..."
"Oh, look up at the tree!" the host yelled excitedly and the screen showed a koala bear falling asleep.
"It's so fluffy and cute. I want to hug it." Hazuki said, placing her hands on her cheeks, admiring the animal's cuteness. "The kola." her eyes shined.
"Why the kola?!" the great king exclaimed. "If anything, I can only picture you taming a Tasmanian devil!"
"How rude!" the female oni looked at him, putting her hands down. "I also have a soft spot for the Tasmanian Devil, but if I had to choose, then I would rather chat with a wallaby."
"For some reason, I suspect your head is filled with fluffy bunny rabbits." he remarked.
"Wallabys are extremely cute, yet upon closer examination, kangaroos are oddly boring." she said. "And the hind claws of a male platypus are poisonous."
"How do you know so much about the animals from Oceana?"
"I enjoy reading books and watching TV shows about animals." Hazuki told him. "And I enjoy reading 'The Animal-Person Caricatures' in real time."
"You mean the national treasure that was serialized by the priests in Kozan-ji?" Enma questioned. "That's right, you frequent the zoos and beaches when you travel to the mundane world on business."
"It's a field study." she said.
"Would you please stop writing those off as business expenses?"
"It is a necessary expense. I recommend Ueno Zoo. They have a deadly amount of pigeons."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Not only that, the distance between the Uneno Zoo's shoebills and I is so wonderful, I love it."
"Those birds remind me of you in some ways..." the great king remarked.
"And the beaches in France are very nice." the female oni said.
"When did you go to France?"
"Quite recently, I won a trip and I went. It was lovely."
"You could have at least brought me a souvenir." Enma said.
"Waste of money." Hazuki replied simply.
"Look, a baby wombat."
"That flat nose..." she turned to the TV screen, her eyes starting to shine when she saw the small mammal.
The great king mentally chuckled.
'Hazuki-chan really does have a cute side that she rarely shows.' he thought. 'I bet she wishes she could be around animals all the time. Wait, pets?'
Realization hit him.
'What would she keep as a pet?!' he mentally exclaimed.
He thought about all of the most dangerous creatures he could think of, such as a lion, viper, dragon, panther, and even a tyrannosaurus rex, and it scared him.
"That simply isn't good, Hazuki-chan!" he shouted. "A pet should always be small!"
"What in the world are you talking about?" the female oni asked. "I already have goldfish."
"Oh, that's right, your goldfish." Enma said. "Are they a plant or animal?"
"I honestly have no idea." Hazuki replied. "They could be both. A type of 'planimal', perhaps. Now that you mention it, my longest living one is over ten feet tall. It's fun. Would you like to see it?"
'She already has pets.' the great king thought. "Ten feet tall, you say?" he said. "I guess that means you'll win the goldfish plant contest again this year."
"I won't be entering the contest." she told him. "I was inducted into the hall of fame and I'm judging this year."
"You sure do have a lot on your hands." he remarked. "How do you judge a competition like that, exactly?"
"You will find the particulars on the Contest Rule form, but other than size, we judge based on their color and pattern, and the vibrancy and clarity of their eyes. And their cries."
"Their cries?"
Flashback, the sixth Annual Goldfish Plant Contest
"Number Four, it's your turn.
"You can do it, Masako." the male demon said to his goldfish plant.
The fish plant then gave a mighty cry.
"Ogyaa! Ogyaa! Ogyaa! Ogyaa!"
"That was marvelous." the other female judge complimented, holding up a nine.
"It's full of emotion, yet oddly discomforting." Hazuki remarked as she held up a ten. "A splendid combination."
"A good cry." the last judge said, also holding up a ten.
Present Day
"Is that what you meant by cry?" Enma questioned.
"It is the draw of competition and is one of the required talents." Hazuki explained.
"I had no idea you guys did that. I've known you for a long time now, but you always remain a mystery to me."
"Really? I figured myself out as to be a simple woman."
The great king then thought of something. "You know I couldn't even guess what you'd like in a man."
"What I like in a man?" Hazuki repeated.
She thought about it for a moment.
"I would like someone who is unfazed by bugs and animals." she said.
"Most men don't really care about that sort of thing." Enma told her.
"Those who thoughtlessly torment and abandon animals are heading straight for Animal Torturer Hell." the female oni stated.
"Well, yes, people shouldn't behave that way." the great king agreed.
"I would like a man who can laugh off being strangled by an anaconda. And someone smart would also be acceptable."
"He'd have to be a real heavy weight to be strangled by an anaconda. So where would you like to be taken on a date, anyway?"
"I would like a living man to take me to a cemetery." Hazuki replied. "But I would like a deceased man to take me to Maihama."
"Why would you let a deceased man to take you there instead of a living one?" Enma questioned.
"For the living, it's my thoughtful gesture that they would join me someday." she said.
"You could at least let them enjoy their time on Earth first!" he told her.
"I also like a man is positive and cheerful, but not overly cheerful." the female oni said. "I would also want a man who liked me for my intelligence and not just my looks.
"That's quite a list you got." Enma remarked. "But I don't think anyone would appreciate being called cheerful by you."
"How can you say that? Can you not see how cheerfully and openheartedly I spend my days?" she questioned monotonously with an impassive face, her eyes blank and cold.
"I can't see an ounce of cheer on your face or in your voice. " he responded. "If you're looking to get into a relationship, you could try going out with Hak-" he was cut off when she held her club up at him menacingly.
"You better not mention that bastard's name in front of me." Hazuki threatened as she glared at him.
The great king was now scared.
"S-Sorry!" he quickly apologized.
"Good." the female oni put her club down.
"I don't see why you're so against going out with him."
"Than you obviously don't know his true nature. He's an idiot and a pervert who chases anything that's female."
"I do know that he likes women very much."
"Then why are you asking me stupid questions?"
"I'm sorry, I'll stop now." Enma said when she scowled at him.
Hazuki just huffed and kept watching the TV.
"But I'm happy for you that you can find daily enjoyment in these chaotic and dissatisfying times." the great king remarked.
"If I felt dissatisfied, I would let my feelings out immediately." the female oni told him.
"I see." he said and took a sip of his tea.
"I still wish to go on a trip every now and then."
"Me too. I want to somewhere exciting with a lot of nature and wildlife. Although, I'm sure you can describe Hell that way. But you need to make a plan, buy tickets, reserve a hotel to go on the trip. It's a lot of work. I fully understand why husbands across the country leave it to their wives. But we always end up putting it off."
"Ah." Hazuki suddenly said.
"What is it?" Enma asked.
He looked at the TV and saw the female oni's name, saying she had just won a trip to Australia.
"You won! You won a three day trip to Australia!" Enma shouted.
"Enma-sama, I'm taking paid vacation time!" Hazuki declared, pulling out a notebook and pen. "Even if you try to stop me I will still go!"
"Crystal Hitoshi gets the other ticket, right?! Give me one!
"Forget it! Win your tickets."
"Okay, then take me with you!"
"Never!"
The End
I hope you guys like this chapter. Please let me know what you thought about it in your reviews. Until next time.
