The first day of work was surprisingly normal. Masaomi was obviously tense and overly cautious around the man—as well as embarrassed every time he remembered what had happened the evening before. Every teasing touch and words that were meant to be misunderstood only made him more nervous. As he found the end of the workday nearing, though, he started to wonder if Izaya was really going to heed what he said and not try to start anything up between them again. It was somehow... disappointing to not be given the attention he was expecting, no matter how much he had dreaded it.

When he returned home that evening, it was with confusion, hope, and chagrin. He had expected to need to bat off Izaya's advances, but was met with a boss that only liked to verbally play with him a little, and mostly left him alone. As he went to bed, he wondered if things would really be different, and the informant would give up on him.

That pleasant, yet unsettling, idea was shattered at the end of work on the second day. He was sitting on the couch beside Izaya after he was asked to have a chat with him. As usual, it was not an appropriate conversation by any means.

"When was the last time you were intimate?"

Masaomi widened his eyes. "That's none of your business!"

"You are the employee of an information broker. Every part of your life is my business. Answer me." The last bit was spoken in a stern, unyielding voice.

Masaomi felt forced to reply. He knew Izaya would get it out of him one way or another. "It's been a little less than two months. Apart from yesterday, I mean..." he said quietly.

A hand slid up the blond's thigh. "Two months is a long time for a young man, Masaomi-kun. You must be frustrated."

"Kinda…" He shifted away slightly.

Izaya leaned in so their lips were nearly touching. "Aren't you longing to be touched? To feel the warmth of another's body against yours?"

Masaomi felt a bulge growing in his pants. He had always harbored an attraction for Izaya. He often found himself thinking of the man when he should be thinking of his girlfriend. Although he had tried to push the thoughts away, everything about Izaya was so sexy. His seductive voice, toned body, graceful movements, and sadistic personality turned him on like nothing else. "Yes," he croaked.

"I'm feeling generous today. Maybe I could help?"

He wanted to scream 'yes,' but knew that only unintelligible sounds would come out. Instead, he placed his hand over the man's and moved it higher up, encouraging him to go further. So much for breaking off contact entirely if Izaya tried anything. Masaomi had given up his resolve on only their second day, as soon as his former lover made a pass at him. It wasn't even a particularly seductive way to get into his pants, either, making him realize just how desperate he was for this man to touch him.

Izaya comprehended the action and grasped the teen's hips. He lifted him and placed him between his legs. The older male breathed hot air on the boy's neck. "Do you still think about me when you touch yourself?"

Masaomi's pulse raced. He knew that he was in no state to attempt to deceive the skilled man. "E-Every time."

Breathy laughter escaped Izaya's mouth. "I thought so." He unbuttoned the boy's jeans and pulled out his member. "You're bigger than I remember." He spitted into his hand and stroked the length.

Masaomi blushed from embarrassment, but still was able to put on a smirk. "Does that mean you want me inside of you, Izaya-san? I can't say I dislike imagining you underneath me, begging for more." Topping Izaya was actually something he had only considered a few times. He had been perfectly content as the submissive partner, and since they had only actually slept together a handful of times, he wasn't bored of it or felt like he wanted to change positions.

A thumb swept over his tip, and he moaned, tilting his head back. Izaya took the chance to grasp his chin and angle it to the side. Their lips connected, and Masaomi lost all control he had left. He attacked the man's mouth, unrestrained noises of pleasure escaping his throat as their tongues wrestled. Fingers tangled in ebony hair, yanking roughly; his hips bucked into the warm touch with desperation.

Searing white flashed in Masaomi's mind. His eyes fluttered shut and his jaw dropped. His forehead fell against Izaya's cheek and his body shook as he silently released into the informant's hand.

Izaya licked his fingers and brushed through golden hair with his clean hand. He then produced a phone from his pocket and quickly sent a text.

Masaomi opened his eyes and slowly became aware of the awkward situation he was in. Blood rushed to his face, and he hastily zipped his pants. "I should really get going now," he said in a shaky, airy voice. "My work is finished for the day." When he tried to get up, an arm around his waist yanked him down.

"It's impolite to leave without thanking me. You should be appreciative of my service to you."

An even deeper shade of red covered his face. "Th-Thanks. Um, Saki will be waiting for me, so I need to go."

"Hold on for a moment, Masaomi-kun." Izaya took out his phone and read a text aloud. "'Of course, Izaya-san. I'm so glad you've made up.'" He cleared his throat. "Well, it seems that your girlfriend has given you permission to stay here for the night."

"Wait, what?" he exclaimed, his heart racing in fear. "What did you tell her?"

"I said that your job will end late into the night, so you're going to sleep over." He nipped Masaomi's ear.

Masaomi relaxed a little, glad that Izaya hadn't decided to outright tell her that he was cheating on her, but he was still unhappy he had contacted her. "When did I agree to that?"

"When I helped you out a minute ago. You need to do something for me in return—nothing is free; you should know that by now."

As he watched Izaya's fingers slide up and down his thighs, he finally came to his senses. He brushed the hands away and stood up. "I'll work for you, but this isn't going to be like last time. I already told you this on the first day."

Izaya remained where he was, comfortably lounging on the couch. "How so?"

"I… I made a mistake after I started dating Saki, and it won't happen again. I can't do that to her. If she were to find out what was going on back then, it would kill her."

"You mean finding out that she was betrayed by her lover?" He smirked. "Hm… That sounds familiar, doesn't it, Masaomi-kun?"

Masaomi tensed. He discreetly took a deep breath. "That's in the past. I won't make the same mistake."

Izaya gracefully rose to his feet in one smooth motion. "Won't you, though? I don't see it as a mistake, and I'm not so sure you do, either. That was a good time for you; you had everything you wanted—a successful gang, a pretty girlfriend, and a passionate affair on the side. Although, at the time, it felt like she was the one always pushed to the side. It's only natural for you to wish to return to when you were happy." He moved closer to the boy and cupped his face with one hand. "We both know that you won't be able to resist the temptation."

"I can't," he whispered, feeling his will to refuse Izaya slowly diminish.

"Why not?" Izaya moved even closer. "Nobody has to know." Quietly, he repeated, "Why not?"

"I…don't know." Masaomi closed the small distance between their faces and kissed Izaya. The informant immediately responded, kissing back softly. He placed his hand on the man's shoulder and moaned, not objecting when Izaya steered them back to the couch. Izaya's kisses were familiar. They moved in perfect unison, as if the pair was made to be together. He was soon immersed in their heated embrace, unable to break away, despite his brain sending out alarms that he was falling into a trap again.

He pushed Izaya onto his back and buried his fingers in the soft obsidian hair. "This is wrong," he groaned, debating with himself. "I can't do this again… Not after what happened last time."

"You think I'm going to put your girlfriend in the hospital again?"

Something flickered in the boy's eyes before he spoke. "I, uh, yeah—I don't know… Maybe…"

With his usual smirk, Izaya sat up slightly and pulled Masaomi onto him so the boy was in a half-sitting, half-lying position. "This was never about Saki-chan, was it? Your hesitance about being intimate with me isn't mainly the guilt you have of cheating on her."

Masaomi wasn't mentally strong enough to produce an adequate argument at this point. Izaya knew. "I shouldn't have come here," he said quietly. Despite his words, he shut his eyes and collapsed onto the man. "I have to leave before it's too late." But he didn't move. He wasn't referring to the present moment—he'd already accepted that he wouldn't be leaving tonight, if Izaya still wanted him to stay. He meant in the future, before—.

"Do you remember what I said to you the morning after I took your virginity? You were so excited to give yourself up to me. It was adorable, the way you kept insisting that you were ready to be taken, and I just couldn't help myself."

"Please don't say it."

Masaomi was trembling in his arms. "What?"

He gripped the man's shirt, bunching the fabric in his fists until the depleting shirt had unintentionally uncovered most of his torso. "Please, Izaya-san. Don't say it."

"Masaomi-kun, not speaking a truth out loud doesn't make it false. Tell me what you want to say."

But he didn't want Izaya to hear it. He was terrified of the repercussions his statement might cause. He was afraid that Izaya would brush his feelings aside or laugh at him—or both. "Izaya-san." Time stopped. His heart beat out of control as his stomach tied in knots. What he felt was an emotion far past love—a passion brewed from loathing, lust, fear, respect, and longing. If he admitted his affections out loud, it would be used against him in the future.

He was only fifteen when he lost his virginity to the then twenty three year old. Izaya had said that Masaomi was well beyond his years in maturity, and had also made a point of telling the easily swayed teen that he wanted him. He coaxed the boy into feeling privileged for being invited to sleep with the man. But up until the night before his betrayal, only sexual favors had been performed, despite that Masaomi had asked multiple times for them to go further. Sex seemed like the next big step in their relationship, and he had been eager to advance it after a few months of being "together." Afterwards, Masaomi gave in and came back to Izaya a few times for a night of passion. Even then, they only went all the way two more times.

Falling deeply in love with Izaya was an outcome he'd predicted—accepted—from the start. When their lips met for the first time, he felt the fireworks people spoke of. When their bodies rubbed together, shifting positions, Masaomi couldn't help but notice how they fit together perfectly. He hadn't even been very embarrassed; he couldn't be embarrassed when Izaya's first thrust felt like his hundredth, as if they had been sleeping together for as long as he could remember. It was more than a childish crush. Masaomi had known, as his lover had spilled inside of him, caressing his body and whispering how good he'd been, that he'd found someone he would never be able to forget.

Masaomi had fallen too hard too fast. He was touched whenever his partner desired it, and preformed favors at Izaya's request; he never refused the informant. He relied on the man for everything: intimacy, knowledge to further his intelligence and maturity, "borrowed" money, keeping his girlfriend ignorant, and information to help his gang. He had made a horrible mistake in trusting the beautiful man. He loved him, and that couldn't have been helped, but he should not have had blind faith in the informant.

Izaya had betrayed him. He had shattered the comfortable world that Izaya, himself, had specifically molded for Masaomi—like a god smiting a devoted follower for the sake of entertainment. He had been a pawn the whole time. Of course, he had never expected Izaya to reciprocate his strong feelings, but he thought that he was cared for in some way. He remembered so clearly Izaya's words from when he'd showed up at the hospital the night of Saki's accident.

"It's a shame, you know? Of course, I don't regret what I've done. But I feel that I've now lost my favorite pawn. I only wish there would've been a way to keep you after all of this. But, alas, you will forever blame me for making you feel such pain, for betraying you after becoming your trusted lover, and destroying everything you hold—held—so dear. Before you depart, know this: you are always welcome in my home. Whether you've forgiven me or not, I will take you in as if you'd never left. Because, Masaomi-kun, I've only broken my favorite pawn with the knowledge that he will put himself back together and return to my game board. I know you will."

"I love you, Masaomi-kun."

The teen wasn't fazed. He'd heard those words countless times. Izaya wanted to touch him because he "loved" him; Izaya "loved" him when they made out on the couch for an hour; he "loved" him when he fell asleep in his arms, and he still "loved" him when they woke up together. It meant nothing.

"Don't be cruel, Izaya-san."

"It's the truth."

"That's why it's cruel. You love me, along with the rest of humanity. You could truthfully say that to anyone, and that is exactly what makes it meaningless. I'm no different than anyone else in your eyes."

"That's not true. I slept with you, but I wouldn't with the great majority of other humans. Only you have ever fully stayed the night in my arms. You're completely different."

"Maybe, but it's still not the same kind of love I wanted from you. You aren't in love with me."

"How can you be certain I'm not?"

Masaomi's breath caught, and he heard the pounding of his heart in his ears. How pathetic he felt for getting so worked up over hypothetical words. But still, he had to ask; he had to be certain. After what happened, he could never be sure of Izaya's feelings for himself or anyone else. This was a man who was impossible to completely understand, and it seemed he became more difficult to comprehend the more Masaomi made an attempt to learn about how his mind and emotions worked. "You're in love with me?"

"I could be."

A sigh fell from his lips. Of course it was only another trick, but he couldn't help himself from asking, out of the slightest possibility it might be true. Maybe it was better that he wasn't, so Masaomi had a solid reason to not return to the person who had shattered his heart in the past. "You could be, but you aren't."

"Why must you always jump to a negative conclusion? I might cherish you even more than you cherish me."

Masaomi fought away tears. "This is why I can't come back. I can't be pulled into your games again. I've put myself together again, like you said, but if I break another time, I don't think I'll be able to go on. I'm happy with Saki, and I don't need anyone else." He spoke with a firm tone, but it was obvious that he was falling apart.

"Didn't you feel that way the first time?" Izaya was calm as ever, absentmindedly combing his fingers through blond hair as he spoke in a calming voice.

"Yes, but I was naïve then; I won't be swept away so easily."

"Then I suppose I'll have to try harder to woo you." He tilted the boy's chin up and held back a smile from the adorable way Masaomi kept his lips in a thin, tight line and squeezed his eyes shut. It was a last attempt to resist him. "Masaomi-kun, open your eyes."

The boy shook his head defiantly. He was almost at his breaking point.

"Won't you let me see your beautiful golden eyes? I've missed them; I've missed you, Masaomi. Since you left, I've been eagerly anticipating the day when you'd finally come back."

'No. I can't fall for it. He's lying. This is just a fun game to him.'

"All right. Keep them shut. I'll just have to wait a bit longer." He bent his head and kissed the sides of Masaomi's mouth, then wrapped the boy's arm around his neck and stood up to carry him to the bedroom. The blond's eyes finally opened when he was laid on the bed. Izaya moved over him and touched his face.

"There they are." Masaomi's eyes held all of the words he wouldn't say, and the feelings he hopelessly tried to deny: unrequited love, the fear of being hurt again, but desiring Izaya more than anything else. "Do you want me?"

"Always." Pulse racing and hands sweating, he looked at the man with an expression of surrender. His fight was over.

Izaya smiled. "Yes, I've missed you a great deal." He leaned down and kissed him sweetly.

When his pants and boxers were pulled off, Masaomi broke their embrace. Blushing, he sucked on and licked the fingers pressed against his lips. Their rendezvous were almost always quick, and Masaomi preferred it that way, so he could efficiently relieve his tension and briefly allow himself to experience fond feelings before he really thought about what was going on. He groaned and sank his fingernails into his skin as two fingers entered him. Apart from yesterday, it had been awhile since he or Izaya had stretched him, and it was somewhat painful. But Izaya knew his body better than he did, and the pain immediately subsided as heat burned in his lower regions. "Ahh, m-more."

"You're so greedy, aren't you? How cute."

Paleness spread across the younger man's flushed face. Everything was too familiar. Izaya on top of him, kissing his neck, angling his hips perfectly; Masaomi would make cute jokes and light banter to hide how awkward he considered the intimate situation to be, even after being touched by him numerous times; Izaya would whisper something that would make him moan, and he'd smell that intoxicating scent when his lover moved closer to kiss him. Remembering the routine unsettled him. What bothered him possibly the most was that cheating on his girlfriend was something barely even considered in the decision to submit to Izaya. He loved Saki, so how could he allow Izaya to so easily seduce him? How could he moan out for more when he should be pushing the man away?

Unless they were thinking of an excuse to give her for why Masaomi had yet again stayed over at the informant's place, Saki was nonexistent when he was with Izaya. Izaya was the sole object of his affection. When he was younger, his world revolved around the captivating man. Once he was pulled in, he followed out any orders given. Izaya was an elusive, beautiful creature that Masaomi had somehow captured the attention of, and he always remembered that. At fifteen, he felt blessed to be the one Orihara Izaya used for sexual release. He was grateful when he was permitted to stay the night, and ecstatic when presented with the opportunity to kiss the informant or cuddle with him on the couch. Izaya had been his god, and it took all the will he had to resist returning.

His thoughts were broken when he heard his name called. "Masaomi-kun, are you all right?"

Masaomi had finished, and Izaya was lying on his side, facing him as he wiped some release off his abdomen with a tissue. He had been too absorbed in his thoughts to enjoy the pleasure from being with his god again. "You hurt me," he whispered.

"That's probably because it's been so long," he said as he tossed the tissue into the garbage.

"I don't mean physical pain." He turned the other way, not surprised when he felt arms encircle his waist.

"Well, you have to decide for yourself whether you're willing to take that risk again—whether you trust me not to hurt you or trust yourself to not fall apart again if I do."

"Why can't you just be normal and say, 'I'll never hurt you again'?" All of this was far too complicated for Masaomi's liking. But of course, being with Izaya had never been simple, and he doubted it ever would be.

Izaya kissed the nape of the boy's neck. "I can say that if you wish, but it would be a lie. I know that I'll hurt you again, and you'd have to be an idiot to not realize that. No, I won't make your world crumble beneath you again, but there will be times when I push you away, say something insensitive, and play with your emotions. As I said before, if you want to keep doing this," Izaya mused, trailing his fingers along Masaomi's side, "you'll have to either believe that you're more emotionally stable, or trust that I won't push you past your limits. You're in love with me, but you're no longer blinded and overwhelmed by your affections. You're mature enough to make the decision to walk away if you think I'll break your heart again."

It sounded so easy, to merely leave the one he was so infatuated with because he would be hurt. No relationship was perfect, and he didn't believe they would ever have anything meaningful shared between them; it would always be one-sided love, returned by whatever shallow feelings Izaya had for him. Knowing he would probably get hurt again wasn't enough to keep him away, though.

He pulled Masaomi closer. "Am I worth it, Masaomi-kun? Are you willing to risk your heart, and possibly your sanity, to be reclaimed by the person who once destroyed you?"

The blond turned to face his former lover with an unreadable expression that amused Izaya. "You truly are a horrible person."

Izaya smiled gently, twirling thin strands of hair between his fingers. "That doesn't answer my question."

Masaomi flopped onto his back and sighed. He stared at the white ceiling as he said, "Come here." As requested, Izaya moved closer, rising to his elbow to look at the boy. Masaomi pulled the man's head down and kissed him with a slow passion, breaking it after just a few moments. "If you ever tell me that you love me, you'll never see me again."

"Why is that?"

"I don't need to explain. If the words, 'I love you' pass those perfect lips of yours ever again, directed at me, I will leave and never come back. I can deal with your petty games, but I'll admit to you now that I will break if I play a game with you centered around that phrase."

"But how will I express my affections for Masaomi-kun, when the time comes?" he teased.

"Luckily for you, that won't ever be a problem you'll have to face."

Izaya smirked. This time, it was the informant's turn to feel his heart race with excitement. How wonderful it was to have his favorite pawn back in his treacherous grasp. "I accept your terms, my darling Masaomi."