Without Words Part Two:

Their first date was dinner and a movie. The only way Sasha had convinced her to go was for Sasha to come herself, so it was a double date. This was not Sasha's best idea. Eren was extremely passionate about sports and through the majority of the dinner, he spoke of the college football team and their brilliant kicker. But even then, for the past fifty years, the Sina Cows had lost every game against the south Maria Titans. Eren swore this year would be different, they only needed a different mascot. This bored Sasha to no end. Thankfully around desert they finally found some common ground: hunting.

Annie and Armin, however, started out more basic.

"Hi," Armin waved.

"Hello," Annie glanced over at Eren and Sasha. "Sorry Sasha dragged you out here."

"No need to be sorry, It's a nice restaurant. I fear for her sanity though."

"Why is that?"

Their conversation drifted, and Annie grew more comfortable with him. She even laughed - an action which granted her a sideways glance from Sasha. After a while, Armin started teaching her morse code. A waiter walking by gave them a strange look when he saw all the dots and dashes written across the napkins, and an even stranger look when they asked for more. They laughed once he had gone, and for the first time in a very long time, Annie felt normal.

Armin seemed rather comfortable speaking aloud, enough so that Sasha commented on how well he spoke as they walked over to the movie theater. Annie shrugged it off, speeding up a bit to catch up with the boys.

Annie wasn't a giant fan of movies. It was hard enough to read lips in real life, and in the theaters subtitles just weren't an option. Because of this, on the rare occasions she went out, Annie slept. This quirk proved fatal when she fell asleep on Armin's shoulder.

When the movie ended and the lights came up, Annie felt a soft peck on her shoulder, nudging her awake. Her blurry vision first met the exasperated face of Sasha, shaking her - and to Annie's surprise, Armin - awake.

Once they'd both been roused, Sasha signed "I can't believe you two!" Over the last three months, Sasha had become quite good at signing. Her hands moved at a careless rate. "That movie was brilliant. You two should be ashamed!"

Annie was ashamed, but not because she fell asleep during the movie. She had fallen asleep on a near stranger. And he fell asleep on you too, Annie reminded herself.

They walked through downtown, old street lights glaring on the windows but leaving the sidewalks in twilight. Sasha walked up ahead with Eren, staying a nice distance away from him, nearly in the road. This small detail brought to Annie's attention that Armin, like her father said gentlemen always should, was walking closest to the road. And close to me, Annie thought.

"Sorry about that," Annie signed. "I have a habit of sleeping through movies."

"It's fine, I fell asleep too. Movies are boring without sound, I like books better."

They left downtown and the street lights became fewer and far between. A comfortable silence fell between them. When they reached the dorms, Armin pulled her aside, thanked her, and asked if she'd like to have lunch on Thursday. Annie lied.

"Sorry, I've got plans, would Tuesday be okay?"

As soon as the door clicked, it was like the two girls personalities had switched. Sasha's chest heaved with a tired sigh as she plopped on the couch. She pulled the notebook off the coffee table and began scrawling furiously. Annie sat cross-legged on the bean bag chair in the corner, waiting patiently.

With great accuracy, Sasha threw the notebook at Annie's feet without even looking. Annie flipped to the page she had started and read the rant:

That was the most miserable time I have ever had! Even worse than the time my appendix burst. I mean Eren is a nice guy and all, but sports are THE ONLY THING he'll talk about! Ugh. At least you and Armin seemed to have a good time. (Still can't believe you slept through the movie. We're renting it when it comes out on DVD and you're watching it with subtitles!) When are you two gonna go out again?

Annie was taken aback by her directness. It wasn't like Sasha was wrong, but she'd probably written the question ironically. Annie answered honestly anyway: On Tuesday, sorry Eren didn't work out. When Sasha read that, she turned to Annie, who she had to beg to get her to go that night, and made a face.

For the next three days, Annie alternated between being anxious for Tuesday, being excited, and scolding herself from being such a textbook schoolgirl. Tuesday came, and as the students filed out of room 104, Armin came up to her. "You ready?"

The cool fall air moved in swift streaks, red, gold, and purple leaves chasing each other across the campus. They walked close - hands brushing - through the bustling city streets. When they came upon a little outdoor cafe, Armin again handled people with a grace Annie had never possessed herself. They sat down at the table nearest to the road. Small talk followed, and Armin offered to order for her.

"Were you always deaf?" Annie asked after the waiter left. For the most part, they had avoided talking about themselves or their disabilities. Most of it had been school and weather and the question seemed to take him off guard.

"What makes you ask?"

"Just the way you handle people, and Sasha said you spoke really well, and the way you talked about movies. I just..."

"Yeah, I lost my hearing when I was nine." He looked down at his water, almost guilty. "You remember that pile up ten years ago? The one they reported on for months?"

Annie did remember. Two eighteen wheelers, one carrying gas, the other large pipes, along with 94 cars and 137 deaths, some only bystanders. Annie had felt the windows in her house rattle from the explosion a mile away.

"My parents and I were coming in to visit my grandfather. I think they said I was the closest to the explosion that survived. It blew my eardrums though. I still hear ringing in my left ear sometimes, but that's it."

"So that's why you lived with your grandfather? I'm sure that must have been very difficult for the both of you."

"Yeah, he's given up a lot to take care of me. It was kinda hard to move to the dorms, but we both agreed it would be a good change. I miss seeing him though."

"I'd like to meet him sometime."

"I'm sure he would love that. What about you, what's your life story?"

Annie supposed she owed it to him. Even Sasha only knew bits of the story, it was a hard one to tell. She took a deep breath, steeling herself.

"Well, I was born deaf, and after about seventeen months my mom decided I was too much to deal with, so she left. My dad scraped up enough money to send me to a special school, and I stayed there, being treated like porcelain until 10th grade. Public school was the opposite, most people didn't like me. I had one friend who helped me so I managed."

An empty quiet hung over them. No meaning, no silent condolences; just Armin at a loss for words. His story was one he'd always found cliché, melodramatic. One night he had spent hours sitting at the kitchen table, scribbling single sentences in a college rule notebook before tearing out an entire page. Around one in the morning his grandfather's hand had fallen lightly on his shoulder.

"What a waste of paper," his grandfather had said as Armin turned around.

That night, he had listened, making coffee, as Armin ranted in his oddly broken voice about how 'there were no stories left to tell'.

His grandfather had offered up a nugget of wisdom. "Why not write about yourself? People are always making new stories. Draw from your own."

At the time, the idea had disgusted him. His senior essay found a way to finish itself, but Armin felt like waxwork making it. He still didn't like the idea of writing about himself, still found it a last resort for the lazy. But there was something about Annie, the way she had defined her life in so few words. There was bitterness there, the simplicity of it all so damning. Her life was like a thousand page novel with only the first sentence written after nineteen years of laboring. And a small part of him wanted to help her write it. A soft peck on his hand drew his gaze back into focus.

"What do you miss most?" she signed. Armin stared at her for a moment, taken aback, not quite understanding. She clarified. "What do you miss hearing the most?"

Armin had never really thought about it. He hadn't even started learning sign language until his sophomore year of high school. Writing took over his life after the accident. It was his way of communicating with the world, anything before it was a blur.

"Music," he signed as it came to him. "I miss music the most." A wistful look softened her features, and his heart dropped to his stomach. She deserved a much better deck than what was handed to her. Music must be such an abstract concept.

They were beginning to fall back into that empty silence - which Armin then realized was them shutting out each other, putting up these mental walls that locked the other out - when his phone buzzed in his pocket, making him jump at least six inches in the air. At first Annie looked concerned, then he pulled out his phone. She reared back in her chair, throwing her head back and laughing. He wished he could hear it, noticing that this must be the first time he'd seen her with her hair down.

Shaking himself as if from a daze, Armin actually looked at the text. It was from his cousin, Nifa, a nurse at the hospital. Armin? Are you there?

Yeah, what's up? he replied.

Oh thank God! I didn't want to leave this for you to find later.

Leave what? Annie saw the change in Armin's features. His eyebrows knit together, he nose scrunch up, his eyes growing wider, his breath hitching. Was something wrong?

Umm, it's your grandfather, he had an accident.

Where is he?

Here, at the hospital. But, Armin...
I'll be right there. What happened?

He collapsed in front of his house, neighbors called 911. Blood vessel in the brain burst.

Armin didn't need to read what came next. Bile rose in his throat.

He's dead, I'm sorry.

The phone clattered to the table, unheard, as his hands rose to cover his face. He leaned over like he had been dealt a harsh blow to the stomach. He forced down a cry, shaking, curled up like a lost child. He felt Annie's presence beside him, her lips brushing against his ear, undoubtedly saying "Armin? Armin, what's wrong?" She reached around him for the phone, scrolling through the messages. Her stomach flopped as she read the final message. Three more popped up before Annie could lay it back down.

Armin? Are you alright?

You need to come down to the hospital, sign some papers. Shitty formalities.

I can help you, you just need to talk to me, please.

She set the phone down, almost feeling the sound of it hitting the glass. Armin slowly lifted his face, forcing his hands into shapes. "I'm sorry, I gotta go. Do you mind paying? I'll pay you back later."

"I'm coming with you."

"Annie please don't, you don't want to-"

She lurched forward, grabbing his wrist, her eyes daring him to argue again. Armin let out a shaky sigh, dropping his shoulders in defeat.

When she saw Armin walk through the doors of the hospital, Nifa met him halfway. As soon as her arms wrapped around him his knees gave out and she was supporting him more than hugging him. He sobbed into her shoulder, his cries mindfully soft. Even now he was still holding back. A girl stood behind him a foot or two, watching.

Nifa led him over to one of the couches, sitting him down and lifting his face, trying to get his attention. "I'll be right back, okay? Some stupid hospital formalities and I'll get you out of here. Promise," she signed with some difficulty. He watched her leave before kneeling back over.

When she returned, the girl was sitting beside him, stroking his back. Armin rocked back and forth, mumbling under his breath. "I'm so useless. I should have stayed with him. He would have been okay. I shouldn't have left him. I could have done something!"

The girl just looked down at him softly, seemingly oblivious to his mumblings. Before Nifa had crossed half the room, he stood, suddenly powered by some sort of purpose. But he didn't run to the doors, but to the staircase that lead to the upper floors. The girl followed closely behind. Nifa almost followed as well, then thought better.

Armin sat on the roof wailing. There was no one to hide from up there, no one to hear. Whatever reckless urge that had propelled him to the staircase left him half way up. With no adrenalin to dampen it, and having come to terms with the fact there was nothing he could have done, Armin was left only with misery. He tried to push away all the thoughts that run through your head when you lose someone important to you. The little moments that had been nothing, the words left unsaid, and a parade of many other regrets. Soon, Armin surrendered to them, letting them gnaw at his soul. And that's when the wails had come.

He sat curled up, knees drawn to his forehead. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and let his knees drop. It faintly occurred to him that Annie must have been watching, but then she leaned forward, lips lightly pressing against his. It was snotty and quick, but it served its purpose, clearing his mind and leaving only that raw pain. She wrapped her arms around him, head pressed against his chest, offering comfort in the only way she knew too; silence.